19. I'll Take the Lead, So Just Follow Along (2)
"It doesn't roll off the tongue at all."
A Peregrine-like smile, voice and gestures, hand movements.
After returning to my quarters, I practiced in front of the mirror for a long while.
I was even looking up reference materials to imitate her, but.... The results were pretty dismal.
In the end, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was just doing an impression.
The director had clearly said I'd have to make an announcement at an official event.
"I'm imitating someone I've never even seen, so of course it's hard."
Whenever that tiresome tension and stress piled up, my lower belly throbbed again, tactless as ever.
When I felt around with my hand, it wasn't indigestion. And it wasn't time to lay an egg, either.
It seemed my body had become the type where stress reactions went straight to my lower belly.
I climbed down from the sofa and prowled across the floor as if crawling.
That box the pervert dream team left behind..., there had to be at least one useful thing in there for times like this.
At the very least, it couldn't be all sleazy stuff like gel.
"Medicine and a guidebook..., ugh. They wrote everything out by hand, one by one. I'll check that later. And this is...."
While rummaging through things one by one, I pulled out something that caught my eye and unfolded it.
A heating mat shaped like a belly band. It seemed to be meant to warm your lower belly when you wore it. It was a bit thicker and heavier than I'd expected....
It seemed fine for light use when I was as exhausted as I was now.
"Alright, let's try it.... I'm alone, so who cares."
Glad to have found it, and without any resistance, I lifted my top and exposed my lower belly.
My waist was so slender to begin with that when I wrapped the band on, there was a lot of slack left over, so I had to pull it tight with force.
What remained was the remote.
"A power button, and some unknown symbols..., and numbers 1, 2, 3. What the hell."
I pressed the power button and quietly sprawled out on the sofa for one minute.
As the warmth of the band reached my lower belly, the throbbing pain began to ease.
Even though there was nothing complicated about it—just the warmth touching me.
"This is better than I thought.... I'd want to carry this around even on normal days, whoa...."
I already had plenty of stressful things going on, so if something like this existed, they could've told me sooner.
It's nice. With my lower belly warm, I felt like just melting into the sofa.
Feeling cozy for no real reason made me a little curious. The button with the symbol on it..., looked suspicious, so I'd skip it for now.
So, what was button number 1?
"Oh."
[Bzzzt.]
"Huh? Wha...."
The inside of the band began to squirm slowly.
Probably the rollers inside were moving.
Pressing the other number buttons didn't seem to make it stronger or more intense.
Was it a massage course?
Except for the fact that it oddly seemed like an adult toy, it might not be so bad....
I was alone, so there was no need to feel embarrassed. It only feels weird because I'm thinking of it as weird.
They gave it to me to use. For now, should I just leave it on like this? Just about 10 minutes.
It was cozy and felt good, so in a comfortable position..., just like this, only 10 minutes....
And so, letting out only soft breaths, I tossed the remote aside carelessly.
Leaning back against the sofa, around the time 10 minutes had passed.
That was when the problem started.
[Bzzzt.]
"Hnn...."
[Bzzzt. Bzzzzt.]
"Hngh."
[Rrrrrrk—!]
"Nn, hah—...!"
The moment the studded roller began rolling over my lower belly, my eyes squeezed shut.
As it rumbled across my lower belly with a grinding sound, a strange feeling began to rise.
"This is a little..., haah. Overwhelming...."
Why was I focusing on this so much?
Sprawled on the sofa in a somewhat ridiculous pose, I kept exhaling loudly.
Inhale, exhale.... Every time I breathed, my lower belly faintly rose and fell.
The only things filling the gaps between my breaking breaths were the regular mechanical sound and the ticking of the clock's second hand.
Just as that silence was making me self-conscious and I curled my toes, the roller inside the band began rolling in earnest.
[Rrrrk.]
"Eek...."
[Rrrrrrrk—.]
"Nn, ah..., haah. Huh...?"
It's not like I was leaving the band on because I liked this embarrassment.
I was just watching out of a kind of curiosity. Right, Seong-woo?
You're not thinking anything weird, are you?
"Ah...."
In the mirror beside the sofa, I met eyes with Peregrine, who was flinching.
Red to the tips of her ears, the tuft on top of her head kept collapsing and then flinching upright again, over and over.
"Hnnn, nghh. Nn. Ahn...."
Tears suddenly welled up.
What the hell, why do I feel like this?
Why, why did I suddenly feel sorry...?
Was I feeling guilt toward the Peregrine in the mirror...?
"S-sorry...."
[Rrrrk]
"I'm really sorry, it's absolutely, absolutely not because I'm trying to feel something weird with your body...."
[Bzzzt. Rrrrk.]
"I. Mean. It's. Not. Like. That.... Hahnght...! Ah, hff...! Haah. Hihk—...!"
The moment the machine began vibrating hard, my hips lifted on their own.
My upper body sank deep into the sofa, but my hips alone trembled as I barely balanced on tiptoe.
No matter how much no one was watching, this was wrong.
This was, strictly speaking, my former partner's body....
"I have to stop it.... No, this. It's dangerous.... The remote. The remote...."
Guilt and shame began battering my reason.
My heart pounded. I trembled. My breath caught unpleasantly. No, I hated this.
I was scared I'd end up feeling something strange with this body.
When I was a man, I'd never felt or even imagined emotions like this.
"Ah, the remote.... Found it. Just a little more...!"
I could see the remote I'd tossed onto the edge of the sofa.
Why, why did I have to leave it there of all places...?
"Ah, shit...! Hffah, hah. Ahn, ngh. I can't..., nn, ngh...?!"
On the verge of tears, I covered my mouth with my hand. Then I reached out toward the remote.
I was almost there. My fingertips could touch it. I just had to reach a little farther.
[Tick.]
"Ah...?!"
The remote my fingertips had caught on slid away.
I stared helplessly at the remote as it fell cruelly beneath the sofa. Even reaching out, I couldn't touch it.
Right now, getting off the sofa was too much stimulation....
"Nn, nnnn—...! Nn. Ah, ahn..., nghh...!"
Now, whenever the roller began pressing into my lower belly, a slick sound mixed into my breathless panting.
Whether it was sweat or not, the insides of my thighs had long since grown wet.
My thighs twitched, and when I tensed and pressed them together, the soft flesh compressed.
Only when I saw several translucent strands stretching between them did it truly sink in.
That something had gone seriously wrong.
"I have to un-unfasten it. No, this..., why did I tighten it so damn much for no reason...!"
[Ding-a-ling—!]
"Whoaah...?!"
Startled by the alarm sound, I lifted my head, and something surged up inside me.
What was that just now? It definitely felt like a handful of something slick had gushed out. More importantly, what the hell...?!
Park Won...? A text at this hour...?
Between trying to check my terminal and fumbling with the buckle..., I couldn't think straight at all.
My vision was starting to flicker, so I buried my face into the sofa while lying face down.
Like a genuinely injured bird of prey, I clawed at the sofa and flailed both arms.
When things got too intense, I'd tense up and press my head into the sofa for no reason.
As I soaked the sofa with something I couldn't tell was sweat or drool, Park Won's voice surfaced in my mind for no reason.
[Rrrrrk—.]
When my hips arched up straight, I covered my mouth with my hand.
Once my raised hips twitched and then sank back down, I held back sobs as my body bucked.
Then I stretched my legs out straight, collapsed face down again, and then flinched, flinched, arching back up.
Thinking of Park Won's voice, which I detested, while making such a pathetic sight of myself with my former partner's body.
I wanted to die.... Someone just slap me across the face. Please.
[Squuuueeeze.]
The roller inside the band pressed deep into my lower belly.
Fuck. If it presses there right now.
I hurriedly slapped my terminal shut.
Then, giving up on unfastening the band altogether, I ended up reaching out with both arms and grabbing the corner of the sofa.
This was bad. I couldn't stop now.... Surely the band wouldn't keep running forever.
It would stop eventually—.
[Rrrrk. Rrrk. Rrrrrrk.]
"Eh, ngh. Nn, nnng. Ngh...!"
[Rrrrk. Squuuueeeze....]
"Ah, nn...! Nngh, hihk...?!"
[Bzz. Bzzzzt—. Rrrrk, squuuueeze....]
"F-fast. Finish fast. It's too much, please...! Pffhaah, haah. Hic.... Hffah, ah, shit...!"
After pressing and clawing for a long while, the band made my lower belly reverberate.
Every time the roller moved dully over my skin, tears streamed down.
I'd clench my fist irritably and slam the sofa roughly, but then when the roller made my hips tremble violently, I'd grab onto anything again.
"S-sorry. Peregrine..., ahn, nn! Ngh, hffngh—...?!"
When the roller inside the band roughly squeezed my lower belly one last time, I buried my face into the sofa.
Saliva spilled messily from my mouth, which I couldn't even close, and my hips kept shaking as if I'd been electrocuted.
Up and down, buck, buck..., after a long while of that, my boxer briefs quickly grew slick.
A short, clear alarm tone.
The end of course number 1.
My mind flickered like a television mindlessly changing channels.
I couldn't think deeply.
This was dangerous.... After laying an egg, I shouldn't have learned about this kind of experience.
Trickle.
At the sound of water flowing, my hips collapsed with a thud.
Panting with only heated breaths, I barely hauled my unconscious reason back upright.
I shouldn't relieve stress with something like this.
They say curiosity killed the cat, but it doesn't just kill the cat....
As a man, losing my mind over unfamiliar stimulation.
Becoming utterly carried away in my former partner's body.
All kinds of things interrogated my conscience.
Asking if I was out of my mind.
With guilt grabbing me by the collar, I just kept turning my head away.
[Ding.]
Another message alert.
Well, what was so important that he had to say it....
[The announcement has been scheduled for one week from now.]
[Until then, other people from the Association besides me may come by.]
[I'll be accompanying you as well, so we need to get our stories straight beforehand.]
"It wasn't even anything urgent...!"
Gasping for breath on the sofa, I swept back the hair that had been covering my flushed face with my hand.
Then I shifted my legs a couple of times and registered the mess I'd become.
At this rate, I felt like I'd end up trapped in self-loathing....
"Haaah.... Ngh, nn. Hff...."
Even though I tried not to be conscious of it, when I closed my tired eyes, the strength drained from my body.
It bothered me that those thin, fluttering breaths were coming from my own mouth.
But for now, I decided to just stay sprawled out like that for a while.
Anyway, I'd shaken off the complicated thoughts.
Today's events..., I'll keep them to myself.