16. Exploration (3)
“Oppa…”
With the sound of the door opening, a small voice drifted in. Elijah reflexively lifted his head.
At the edge of his vision appeared pristine white saintess robes. Disheveled black hair cascaded over trembling shoulders.
She must have sprinted here without stopping—her breaths came in ragged gasps. Dirt streaked the hem of her robes, and her anxious amber eyes darted restlessly around the room.
At last, Lien’s gaze met Elijah’s. For a long moment, neither spoke.
“…Lien.”
What slipped from Elijah’s lips was a voice so parched it startled even him. Lien flinched for an instant, then forced a faint smile.
“…Have you been well?”
It sounded like a casual greeting to a long-lost acquaintance. Elijah stared at her, his face rigid.
He couldn’t answer. The days of excommunication from the Church, branded a sinner, drowning in booze. Mornings when waking up still felt like a curse.
Her single phrase made all that suffering seem trivial, easily swept aside.
“…”
In the end, Elijah said nothing. He noticed her lips quiver ever so slightly.
“Can I come in?”
She was already inside, yet asking permission again.
Elijah neither affirmed nor refused. After watching her for a time, he silently stepped aside, clearing a path.
Lien entered and quietly shut the door. She sat on the creaking bed and turned toward Elijah.
He lounged against the desk, arms crossed. “…Oppa.”
She called to him softly.
“…Why.”
His tone was flat, emotionless—holding back a torrent of words ready to erupt.
Lien averted her eyes without thinking. Head bowed, she fidgeted with her fingers for a while before looking up again.
“…I have something to tell you, oppa.”
Elijah regarded her in silence. But Lien couldn’t go on; she merely worked her mouth soundlessly.
She’d rehearsed it dozens, hundreds of times on the way here. Yet facing him this close, every word evaporated.
What should I say? Sorry? Admit I was wrong and beg? Would he forgive me if I knelt?
Emotions roiled and bubbled up from her gut.
So much she wanted to say, but it wouldn’t come. Words welled in her throat, heavy as lead.
Her lips and tongue felt frozen solid.
And then hesitation crashed over her, belated but overwhelming.
What if… what if he actually hates me? No, that can’t be. He loves me. Do I really believe that? What if it’s all delusion? What if I was wrong?
Lien bit and released her lips over and over. By the time teeth marks etched her bloodless mouth.
She forced out a tiny whisper. “…I’m sorry.”
Silence stretched.
“Sorry for what?”
Elijah asked. Hoarseness leaked through, unmasked.
“That day… what I did. I was wrong. I know I ruined your life. I… I… no, I was wrong…”
Lien’s voice fractured bit by bit. Teardrops fell one by one from her amber eyes.
“B-but… hic… I really c-couldn’t help it… sob…”
She pressed on in a voice growing frail, teetering.
“…Why did you do it?”
But Elijah’s reply was a low, sunken murmur. Lien shuddered hard—then sobs burst from her like a breached dam.
“Hic… to s-save you… to save you, oppa! People were trying to k-k-kill you… hic… it was all I could do… please… oppa… sob…”
Lien slumped to the floor, sobbing like a soul unmoored. She inched toward Elijah, pleading desperately.
“Sorry, sorry oppa… f-forgive me… sob… please…? I was wrong… please…”
Her trembling hand stretched out, clutching his pant leg. She couldn’t see his face, but the quiver in his clothes hinted at the storm he restrained.
Lien lifted her tear-soaked face slowly. But no warm, tender gaze awaited—nothing like what she’d hoped.
“…Five years, Lien.”
Elijah’s voice rumbled deep. Only then did she sense something was terribly wrong.
“Five years, and you never once came looking. Not even an excuse. And now…”
He broke off with a heavy sigh. Lien lurched to her feet in panic.
“I-I did! I tried! Purged the ones after you, cleaned the Church… then planned to bring you back! Even His Holiness helped… right? Oppa…”
Her drenched face babbled excuses. But Elijah’s eyes held no sympathy—only profound, aching disappointment.
“…Lien.”
“Yes, oppa. The obstacles are almost gone—just a few left… soon! I’ll root them all out! Then tell His Holiness… you’ll reclaim your honor, return to the knights like old times. We can—”
“…In the end, you didn’t trust me.”
Her words snapped short. “Wha…?”
“People out to kill me? Fine, suppose that’s true.” Elijah met her gaze squarely.
“Then you should’ve told me. Talked it over with me.”
Lien’s eyes quaked violently.
“But you didn’t trust me—you sold me out on your own.”
“No!!!”
Lien thrashed her head wildly. “I trust you, oppa! I do now, did then! You’re the Empire’s greatest knight, stronger than anyone—I know that best of all!”
“…”
“But you never back down, you endure till you shatter! I was terrified you’d die from that stubbornness, vanish and leave me forever!”
Words poured from her ashen face.
“What if you did die? If you disappeared right in front of me—how am I supposed to live? I can’t even breathe without you! You’re my whole world!!”
She shrieked through her raw throat. “How could I risk it when you might die! Artisia, that lofty princess—she fled too! Scared of a little blood, abandoned you!!!”
“…Lien.”
His low voice halted her cries.
“You didn’t give me even a chance to choose.”
“O-oppa…”
“That’s not love. It’s selfishness. Can’t you see the difference?”
Elijah looked at her with pity. Fat tears plummeted from her eyes to the floor.
“Ah…? No, no…”
Lien stared down at her hands.
“Oppa…? Sorry, oppa. I was wrong. All my fault… But you know it was to save you, right? Please, just once… hold me like before. Forgive me, oppa. Please…”
She lunged, crumbling against him, arms locked desperately around his waist.
“…No.”
Elijah gripped her slender shoulders. Then, slowly but firmly, pushed her away.
Lien gazed up at him.
“Oppa…?”
Her face twisted in bewilderment.
“Go.”
“O-oppa, please… I have more to say. You were always on my side. If you knew how hard it was to get here, you’d understand. So please, just once…”
“…I said go. I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Lien stood frozen, arm outstretched toward him. Despair crept into her eyes.
“How could you… say that to me…? No…?”
She muttered blankly. Elijah ignored her, opening the annex door.
And pointed silently outside.
Lien lingered, staring vacantly at him in dazed shock, before staggering around. Her robe hem dragged limply across the floor with a faint rustle.
Before leaving the room, she glanced back at Elijah one last time—but he wasn’t looking.
“…”
She gave a short, hollow laugh and trudged away.
Elijah didn’t turn until her silhouette fully dissolved into the darkness.