Chapter 55
Chapter 55
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 55
Chapter Title: Gospel to the Snobby Bitch (8)
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The moment someone resolves to die, they start acting erratically.
They tidy up their surroundings through behaviors they wouldn't normally do, or changes in their appearance.
Or they might want to leave behind proof that they existed.
It could be a letter, or an object.
Or maybe a drawing...
Alicia's behavior was much the same.
One incomprehensible action after another, a habit of oddly reminiscing about the past, an air of detachment from everything while her actions flowed haphazardly along the stream of her consciousness.
Looking back at each one, her behaviors all seemed utterly impulsive, without reason or any coherent process.
Everything just flowed along her stream of consciousness.
Yet what kept her from ending her life even now?
Simple reason.
"Pride."
"......"
"It's that lofty high elf pride keeping her from dying. Am I wrong?"
"......"
"A kingdom heterorace historian said there's no record of elves committing suicide in their history. It's a hypothesis that their strong sense of pride acts as a defense mechanism against it. Seeing you now, it rings true."
"......You bitch!"
Every word twisted her guts!
Alicia glared at Luxy, radiating killing intent.
The stress she'd bottled up to her limit exploded all at once, unleashing a storm of murderous aura that ravaged the surroundings!
The grass in the clearing withered from the killing intent alone—a bizarre phenomenon. If civilians had been there, they might've keeled over on the spot.
"Must've been some serious pent-up stress. Well, signs were there when you tried summoning spirits on innocent humans."
"You were watching even then? Ha! Must've planted a familiar on me!"
"I made sure not to get caught."
"...You psycho. You're the textbook mage, alright!"
It sounded like praise, but it was the worst insult—and Luxy remained expressionless.
She knew it was an insult but refused to take it as one.
"Tch! I'll say one thing. I wasn't stressed enough to kill those humans! Their eyes... they were exactly like those eyes! Hateful slave hunters! Just like the eyes they had when they barked at us!"
"...So they were criminals?"
"I don't know. But they would've become that someday."
"......"
Who here was actually sane?
The mage who'd spotted her old comrade preparing to die first but watched to prove her hypothesis?
Or the elf who'd tried to burn people alive based on her own hunch?
The chill between these two women—who could drive any normal person mad—grew thicker.
Alicia wanted to punish the mage daring to prod her psyche, while Luxy prepared spells for self-defense.
Spirit summoners and mages had always been natural enemies.
Similar in many ways, their rivalry—who was superior?—had been debated throughout history.
Mages or spirit summoners stronger?
In Korean terms, like dragons versus tigers.
In that hair-trigger tension, a voice pierced their minds.
"...What the hell is all this? Wanted to die...? Observed...? Alicia? Luxy...?"
"......"
"What the hell does that mean!!"
"......"
Sylvia. She rarely raised her voice like this.
Venting genuine fury.
Why was Sylvia angry?
Plenty of reasons if pressed.
Luxy's negligence—knowing Alicia's instability but offering no advice.
Or Alicia's actions—hiding her feelings, sowing confusion.
Layer upon layer. She could find more if she looked.
But the true source of her displeasure and rising anger was different.
"Alicia, your life was saved by the Goddess! And you thought to throw it away?!"
Her life wasn't hers alone!
It was one the benevolent Goddess Io had personally redeemed.
"Alicia, you haven't forgotten what happened, have you?!"
"......"
Alicia.
The war sparked by her assassination attempt was pure disaster.
Not nobles or soldiers bore the scars of the Demon King's war—it was the powerless commoners suffering.
Through history, the weak suffered most in war.
Countless sacrifices, uncountable deaths—!
Just as the Demon King's traces were fading, peace shattered by elves they saw as allies.
An unforgivable sin. Alicia, the instigator, couldn't be pardoned.
Yet even this sinful lamb received salvation from merciful Goddess Io.
By Mother's words, desperate Leon and Sylvia joined Alicia.
Thus, Alicia's life was no longer her own.
The Goddess's second chance—she should live moved by that mercy!
"To harbor such blasphemous thoughts...!! Are you in your right mind?!"
"...I'm grateful to the Goddess. Thanks to Her mercy, not just me—the sins of my entire race concentrated on me alone."
Without that, defeat would've brought elves scorn—but piling all hatred on Alicia bought them respite.
All Her grace. Alicia never forgot.
"Then what?! Why entertain blasphemous thoughts?!"
"...Sylvia. I understand your anger. But what can be done? I just can't find the will."
"The will?"
"Yeah. The will to live in this world... I just can't."
Her voice toward Luxy had been defiant, but now toward Sylvia, it deflated.
She couldn't treat the Goddess's proxy like a mere human. Like a sinner in confession, Alicia poured out.
"I couldn't find a reason to live in this world like you all."
She saw the stinky beastkin glaring curtly, the pushover knight watching worriedly.
The late-arriving barbarian tilting his head in confusion.
Five years in war, two in flight.
After seven years together, Alicia revealed a piece of her heart for the first time.
"You're all adapting. Learning skills, finding talents, mustering strength to survive. But not me."
Each repetitive day, she withered visibly.
"Humans, the air, the forests, the seas...! Everything is revolting! This world without spirits' scent...!"
Spirits—fragments of nature.
Elves' best friends, soul companions.
Life without them unimaginable—like breathing exhaust fumes daily instead of oxygen.
Lifetime exhaust...!
How to endure on patience alone?!
"B-But you summoned spirits last time?"
"These have been with my soul for centuries. If I die, they'll vanish from this world in a day."
"......"
"Get it now? Without them, I sense no spirits. How long can I stay sane here...? Can you even imagine?!"
"...That's."
"You can't know. Living in this filth without question...!"
"......"
......Alicia's words sounded like screams.
A plea for salvation, to free her from this prison—like a cry.
"...I."
Sylvia had nothing to say.
No way to resolve her comrade's cry.
Without holy or mana power, impossible for her.
No, not just Sylvia—others too.
'...Can I truly understand her?'
No one here could grasp Alicia's despair.
Like fish suffering without water.
Pain only she knew, trial only elves felt!
Impossible for them.
All Sylvia could do was...
"Alicia, even so.... Y-You can't give up."
"......"
Lame, face-heatingly absurd comfort.
Was this even comfort?
"----."
Silence fell.
No one dared speak.
Speaking now would be hypocrisy.
Even oblivious barbarian and hero kept quiet. Mirni, who loved yapping, held her tongue.
In this... anyone would...
Clap clap clap!
"Wow, looks like a drama shoot. Dialogue and stage directions are dogshit."
"......"
"So, done with lines and directions?"
"......Luke."
The man clapping—Yuseong—ascended grinning.
"Lu-Luke! Um...!"
"Nah, no need to explain. Heard it all while hiking up."
Sylvia frantically raised hands to stop him, but he pointed to smartwatches—hers and Luxy's—showing he'd heard everything.
Sylvia eyed him: 'If you know, just gloss over calmly...' But he ignored.
"Total tragic heroine vibe. Almost teared up listening."
"...You're mocking me to the end."
"Mocking? That's how it sounded?"
"Yes.... To you, I must seem pathetic and foolish endlessly. But Luke, don't delude yourself. You got lucky. If your luck ran out, think you'd be different?! How could you, untouched by my pain, understand?!"
"......"
"You were just lucky. Remember th---."
"━━Bullshit."
Pow!!
"Gaaack!!"
Thud!!
Alicia couldn't finish.
Instead, she flew far, crashing into the ground.
Couldn't even mind her pathetic yelp—froze in place.
"Ughhh!!"
...Two ribs gone. From one blow!
Unable to breathe properly, Yuseong approached slowly.
"Hey, say it again. ━Who got lucky?"
Luke's eyes held no emotion.
Like staring at an object or trash, he looked down at Alicia and continued.
"Said you wanna die? Let's test it. See if you really do."
"But if the test says otherwise...."
"......You'll beg me to kill you."
Alicia had touched the butcher's untouchable scale.