Those Scamming Demon Bastards!
"Hmm..."
"Hehehe~♥"
Ding-a-ling~♪
... This seat feels so damn uncomfortable!
I was right in the eye of the storm.
The 666 demons had barged into my office. Among them, the greater demons ranking in the top 100. Vanessa(Baal), Halpas, Amdusias.
The atmosphere these three created was so off the charts that everyone else—not just in my office, but the entire mansion—had basically fled to the annex.
Damn it! I wanna run away toooo!!~~
"Boss. You can't leave your seat!"
"Hehehe~♥ I'll just follow you wherever you go~♥"
Ding-a-ling~♪
"Ahh~♪ We've come as guests for once~ And here you are, showing such a lack of manners and decorum, human~♪"
"You're the ones who showed up out of nowhere, you art demon! And you! Why the hell are you back, you war freak?! Didn't you say you'd back off quietly?!"
"Kyahahaha!~ Of course I'll keep my promise. That's why I backed off nicely back then, right? Think back carefully to what I said. I never said[I'll back off quietly and never come back], did I?"
"Huh?"
I racked my brain, recalling the bet I'd made with Halpas back then. Yeah, definitely...
[So how about we make a bet? Hell style. My contractor versus Dantalian's contractor. Winner take all. If my contractor loses... I'll back off quietly. What do you say, Dantalian's contractor?]
I'll back off quietly. Back off quietly... Quietly...
...
"That's why I hate dealing with demons! You scamming bastards!!!"
"Kyahahahaha!!~~♥ This is hilarious!~ A mere human daring to talk to me like that! Kyahahahahaha!!~~♥"
Ding-a-ling~♪
"Ahh~♪ What a foolish human~♪ Is this really the centerpiece of chaos~♪"
"Boss! Just give the order, and I'll take care of all of them! And I never scammed you, Boss!!--"
"Kyahahaha!~♥ But you did hide the truth from Dantalian's contractor, didn't you, Lady Baal?"
"Shut your mouth, you wretched harlot!--"
"Uwaaaaaah!!~~ All three of you, stop! I'm seriously pissed off!!!~~~"
Demons don't lie. But their contracts are always full of wordplay, so you have to scrutinize every damn detail!
I had to etch that into my bones all over again!
...
"...So, to sum up, you're here because of some deal with Dantalian, art demon?"
Ding-a-ling~♪
"Ahh~♪ Indeed~ This body is obsessed with the concept of 'art' from the world you once lived in~♪ I am the demon of art. I collect all the world's arts~♪ Painting, music, sculpture, architecture, dance... Any pinnacle of beauty!~♪ But now, there's no more art left for this body to pursue~♪ And so, Dantalian offered me new arts from your memories of another world—in exchange for protecting you from that beast who only knows destruction, for ten years~♪"
"Hmm~ Art, huh... Even if you made some shady backroom deal with Dantalian without telling me, I'm genuinely grateful for the secret protection over those ten years."
"Hehehe~♪ Art? Don't you know true art has always been born from destruction, you dumb unicorn bitch? Hehehe~ That pure, unadulterated killing intent and destruction blooming into beautiful desire—that's the ultimate beauty, right? Doesn't it annoy you how that stupid unicorn calls only creation 'art'? Dantalian's contractor?"
Ding-a-ling~♪
"Ooooh!~♪ What a beastly piece of trash!~♪ How could a brute who only knows destruction understand true art?! There's nothing but emptiness after destruction—what aesthetic could that possibly have~♪ Ahh~♪ Just being in the same space makes me want to puke!~♪"
"Hehehe~♪ Wasn't the beginning primordial void? Elevating things back to that origin through destruction—that's true art, right?"
...
These crazy art freaks for real?! You think I wanna sit here listening to your art bullshit?!
One side preached aesthetics through destruction. The other through creation. These two polar opposites were smiling on the surface, but the air was thick with killing intent!
I'm gonna lose my mind!!~~
Wooooong!!--
"Guhk!"
"Kuhk!"
"Hoo~ Don't disturb our boss's mood in my temple. State your business and get out. Before I revert you all to primordial nothingness!"
"Kyahaha... haha... I'm just so curious. For a lord like you to serve a human so devotedly..."
"Ahem... My apologies... Ruler... of Time~"
"Hoo~ Thanks for the help, Vanessa. Really, thank you."
"Hmph! Hmph! I-It was nothing! Boss!"
Vanessa, her face slightly flushed, puffed furiously on her cigar and turned her head away. Seeing her ears turn red too reminded me of what Rina sis had said recently, and something Allen told me before.
'Everyone likes the boss, after all.'
'Falling for him as a woman is only natural, right?'
...
"Boss."
"Huh?"
"D-Don't think too much into it!"
...
Looks like I hit the nail on the head. I don't know what history she had with Vanessa in the past, but they must've crossed paths once.
...
"So, next up—what's your business, war freak?"
"First~ Call me Halpas, please~♥"
"What?"
"Since I'll be sticking around from now on~ Use my name casually~♥"
Crack!
"You harlot!! How dare you hit on the boss?!"
"Kyahahaha!~ But I'm just dying to know! The mere human who stole Lady Baal's heart! And I can smell the stench of war brewing around this human!~♥ It's a shame I can't make him my apostle because of our deal, but isn't sticking by his side the next best thing?"
"Hey! Are you seriously trying to join our family right now?!"
"Yes~ Of course~♥ Isn't that the best way to watch over him up close?"
"The psycho who was just calling him a worthless human now wants to work under me?!"
"Naturally!"
"Boss! I'll kick this crazy bitch out right now!"
"Kyahahaha!~ Looking forward to working with you~♥"
"Uwaaaaaah!!~~ This is so frustrating!!~~"
Ding-a-ling-a-ling~♪
"Ooooh~♪ This is chaos incarnate!~ As expected, everything around you is a cauldron of disorder~♪ Just like Dantalian said~♪"
Demons really do whatever the hell they want!
...
"And that's how... sigh~ as you can see, this war freak decided to join our family."
"Pleased to meet you~ You lowly humans~♥ I'm Halpas~♥ Hobby: war! Favorite thing: war! Destruction and slaughter are always welcome!~ If you wanna kill, smash, or annihilate anything at all, just tell me~♥ I'll make you my apostle and we'll wage glorious wars together~♥"
...
"Oh! And by the way, I welcome all kinds of war~♥ Annihilation battles, retreats, blitzkriegs, sieges, defenses, ambushes, naval battles, field battles, mountain warfare, even defeats! Every type of war is fine!~♥ Let's all enjoy beautiful wars together!~♥"
...
Amdusias had been sent to the guest rooms for now, to discuss the arts she wanted later. First things first, we had to deal with this war freak.
After a bunch of twists and turns, and back-and-forth arguments... I finally concluded there was no getting rid of her. If I flat-out refused and sent her packing, she'd get so bored she'd probably start a war just for kicks—basically blackmail. So, I ended up accepting Halpas into the family.
Vanessa offered to stake her life on erasing Halpas, but that'd just kill Vanessa too, so it was pointless. My only real option was this.
...
No one said a word. Instead, the family stared at me like[What the hell drug did you take to let this psycho in?] It hurt my heart.
"C'mon... say something? Please? I went out of my way to introduce her since I made time for this."
"Boss... how many bottles did you down today, for real?"
"You didn't snort any of that outer god cultist crap, did you?"
"Boss. Or did they brainwash you or something..."
"No! I'm perfectly fine and sane!!--"
"""Then Boss! What the hell does this even mean?!"""
"I don't know either, so don't ask meee!!--"
"Kyahahahaha!~♥ Everyone's so lively! So, where should we start a war today?"
"We're not doing any wars?!"
Should I just ask Vanessa to send her packing? Or beg Dantalian for help? I figured keeping a walking time bomb close—where I could see her—was better than letting her wander off somewhere. That's why I accepted her, but honestly, there's no way I can handle this!
If I leave her be, she'll contract with some random and turn this place into a battlefield!
"Of course! War's the only thing I'm into!~♥ Right now, I'm holding back since I have a[new sole interest] besides war!"
"If you can read my mind, then please just live peacefully for once!!--"
I'm seriously gonna lose my mind!!--