The Mansion's Foul-Mouthed Elf Butler
Vanessa (illustration added). The mansion's steward, Vanessa. Her true nature was that of an elf—one of the iconic fantasy races. Masters of the bow. Beloved by spirits. Also known as forest guardians. And yet, this elf had spent centuries managing this mansion in a human city.
Despite her haughty, chic appearance, her mouth was pure city thug—straight out of this town's underbelly! The crew was mesmerized at first sight of one of the rarest fantasy races, only to freeze in shattered illusions when the torrent of profanity poured out.
"Eyes down, you mosquito bastard! Guests ain't humans, are they? You wanna throw down today?!"
"Vanessa, you really..."
"Whoa, hold up. Hey, Big Daddy... that really an elf? I heard they love forests and harmony. Never heard they had mouths like sewers."
"Can't see with your eyes crossed? She's an elf! And a bitch with a filthy temper! Hey, Vanessa! Cool that nasty attitude and listen! These are our business partners!"
"Fuck off, you prick! Partners? New demon contractors? Ha! Now dragging in chimeras and calling 'em partners?"
Chimera? Oh— she's talking about the kids.
Vanessa's gaze swept over them with blatant suspicion. She slowly scanned Jean and Pablo, Allen and Derek. Then her eyes locked on Rina and Estelle. Estelle made sense, but the raw hostility toward them was a mystery.
"Arachne that vanished ages ago is shocking enough, but why drag an ogre bitch into my mansion?! Arachne and ogre in front of an elf? You here to pick a fight?!"
Oh right! Ogres, the forest kings and strongest land monsters, are a massive headache for elves too!
According to Ostis's knowledge, even forest-dwelling elves suffered from all sorts of monsters, just like humans. Ogres rooting deep in the woods were living disasters for them. A nightmare for human cities, but for fellow forest-dwellers like elves? Infinitely more sensitive.
Elves wielded magic and commanded spirits, sure. But piercing an ogre's thick, magic-resistant hide was no joke. If an ogre claimed a forest, even elves had no choice but to run. So for this elf, even a young chimera like Rina—synthesized from ogre strength and flesh—instinctively triggered revulsion.
I'd thought Pladeus just fused her with a giant spider demon, but apparently he'd experimented to revive the long-lost arachne race too.
"Hey! I get the prejudice, but let's talk!— Huh?!"
"What the—? You! Where'd you... Wait... you, you're...?"
"Contractor of the Manbianja, Dantalian! Big Daddy brought us here to live in this mansion. Complaints? Take 'em up with him!"
"This crazy fucker's selling me out now?!"
"It's the truth! You dragged us here, so own the responsibility! Hundreds of years old and dodging accountability?!"
"The hell you say?!"
"Both of you shut the fuck up!!"
We all flinched! As Big Daddy grumbled a retort, her shout echoed like thunder. We clamped our mouths shut.
Her razor-sharp eyes—honed like a whetted blade—scanned me head to toe. It felt like being stripped naked, every inch exposed.
"Dantalian's... contractor?"
"Yes. Nice to meet you. Name's Actor."
...Whoosh—
...
"Hoo~ Come in... Ahh, no—I mean, c-come in! Don't just stand there like idiots!"
Polite speech? And why the sudden stutter?
She'd lit a fresh cigar, and surprisingly, polite words tumbled toward me. She hastily covered her mouth, reverting to form, but her gaze had softened noticeably.
"Boss. You know that elf sis?"
"Family?"
"Boss. Old friend from before?"
"Boss. Acquaintance maybe? She's super intriguing."
"Actor. You born on this North Continent or something?"
"Don't ask me. No clue~"
...Why the suspicious stares? I seriously don't know her. First time today, swear!
Anyway, with the elf letting us into the mansion, no point loitering outside. We headed in.
Minus Big Daddy!
"Get that annoying mosquito out of my mansion!"
"You crazy bitch! These are guests I brought, why me..."
"Shut up and fuck off! Wanna throw down today?! Final warning! Big Daddy! Out of my mansion!!"
...
Big Daddy, mid-retort, sensed her deadly seriousness. Even his poker face cracked; he just snorted like an enraged bull.
This was Glashalabolras's contractor—rank 25 of the 666 demons, the blood demon. Furious as he was, unlike our first squabble where he'd nearly killed over petty beef, he just stewed.
As if avoiding a real fight with this elf was his utmost priority...
This hot-tempered elf... stronger than Big Daddy?!
I knew demon contractors' power firsthand from yesterday's brawl. Even transformed as the White Tower Lord, an archmage couldn't fully block his attacks. If he dreaded clashing...
Better not piss off this elf steward.
Her true identity intrigued me, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. Poking around could turn her hostile—headache avoided by playing dumb.
**
...
...
"...That's the mansion tour. Pick any room you want."
"Woooow!~"
"Yay! We got a home!"
"Yahoo! Biggest room's mine!"
"Kids! Rooms later—unpack the carriage first!"
""""Yeees~♪""""
The kids were over the moon about the huge mansion being ours. Monster-fied or not, they were still under ten. Who wouldn't thrill at a big house and their own room?
From beggar village scraps, battling cold and hunger daily—to a warm nest? Pure joy.
"Actor-nim. Can we really... live here?"
"Of course. We're all family now. Oh! Malcolm. Since we've got the mansion, how about turning that annex into a shop? Sell our gear haul for startup cash. Leave it to you."
"Huh?! All that gold?!"
"Not free. It's an investment. We take a cut of profits. Pros make the money. Tucker wanted a restaurant too, right? Mansion's too big for us alone. Team up—shop and eatery combo."
"Th-thank you! Won't let you down!"
"Truly grateful!"
Malcolm and Tucker prostrated like before a king or noble. Bankrupt in Colorado, debt-slaved family—now a fresh start.
Nearly a month together. They'd shown honest hearts, no deceit. Naive fools, really—trustworthy for it.
Tucker's clan: him, wife, son Berik (13), daughter Mira (5)—four total. Malcolm's: wife, sons Otison (14) and Johan (11), daughter Shera (5)—five.
Malcolm (34) older than Tucker (30) by four. Otison, most mature at near-adult (15=manhood here), even the kids leaned on him. Close ages bred brotherly bonds.
Mira and Shera, youngest, got doted on by Estelle and Rina like beggar days—tight-knit quartet.
Romaani rep Bron's group: some pregnant or with infants, mostly early-mid twenties. Older ones slaughtered by bandits—age devalued slaves...
Romaani joined us, but nomads like bards earning via song, dance, star fortune-telling—I told them leave anytime. Earth gypsies wandered into the 21st century unchanged. Force settlement? Nah—open door neighbors better.
Pregnancies meant they'd stay awhile...
"Hey. Unpack yourselves... You! Follow me!"
"Me?"
"Yeah! Got more to show."
What now?
Vanessa singled me out, so kids handled luggage.
**
Clink—
"This?!"
"Hoo—can't tell? Booze! Special stash I'm sharing—be grateful!"
"Jaaackpot!~ Thanks a ton!!~~"
She led me to a bar! Old knights unwound here post-training, ending days boozed.
Centuries-old whiskeys lined shelves—one bottle fetched hundreds, maybe thousands of gold from connoisseurs. Historic gems of flavor!
"How'd you get these..."
"Figured you'd like... Hm! No! These are my collection!"
What'd she mumble?
Missed it, but no prying. Free luxury whiskey? No waves.
"I'll savor it, Vanessa."
"Vanessa."
"Huh?"
"My name! Call me Vanessa—no 'ssi'! Got it?!"
"Yessir!"
"...Good! To our... meeting. Cheers!"
"Cheers!"
Clink!~ Aged fruit and smoky notes bloomed softly in mouth and nose, fierce burn chasing down throat.
Delicious! Best booze ever—past life included!
Business drinks aplenty, but none matched this depth, perfect balance. Vs. pricey bourbons? Triple the flavor.
One sip, heaven-bound! No ordinary swill.
Knights guzzled this daily in the old empire era?
Fucking unfair! Hogging gems like this!
"Good?"
"Insane!~♪ Another!"
"Pfft!~♪ Here—drink up today!"
"Hell yeah!!~~♪"
That day, I first felt true happiness in this world.
**
...
...
"Kuuuul~♪ Hmnya~♪"
"Heehee... Still weak to booze, huh. You..."
Vanessa gazed softly at blackout-drunk Actor. Her usual cynicism melted into a smile unseen by others.
After endless years, she'd finally met him.
"You... won't remember me... But still. Happy to meet again."
"Hmnm~ Mnya..."
She swallowed poignant ache tight in her chest. He didn't know yet. This was their "first" meeting.
No rush. Time flowed eternal; answers would come.
"Till then... I'll wait. Hundreds of years already... A few more? Won't cry like back then. Happy just reuniting like this. Boss... Godfather."
"Mnya~♪ One more..."
"Pffft!~ When you wake. Rest now."