6 - This Isn't a Bishoujo's House! Duration [09:50] [09:49]

"......"

I wiped myself clean with some tissue while staring at ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the stains on the ceiling. My breathing had finally steadied.

Reproduction, that biological shackle? What a futile gasp from a pathetic hunk of meat. Why do humans exist? Why does the universe expand? In this absolute realm of reason, everything felt utterly meaningless.

I sat cross-legged on the bed like a sage who had just completed a holy rite—in the pose of Rodin's Thinker.

Weeeeng—

The computational circuits in my brain kicked into overdrive. Within the endless loops spanning over a century, memories of my past life—eroded away like grains of sand—suddenly cleared in an instant. The scattered fragments of information sharpened into crystal clarity.

And finally, a sacred Akashic Record materialized before my retinas.

It was the攻略 guide for Garden of the Academy that I'd skimmed on my room's monitor right before tumbling into this isekai.

'I see.'

The realization hit me like a brick—clear and brutal. This world's physics obeyed a single law: the ironclad system of a hardcore 19+ adult game.

To the women here, men weren't people. They were just "studs" for passing on superior genes. Programmed from the depths of instinct to crave the finest stallions.

Which meant I could reverse-engineer the horrific disgust I'd endured over the past century. [Stamina F-] eunuch. In a pornographic worldview, a male incapable of "mating" was a fatal bug whose existence value dipped below zero into the negatives.

The way they looked at me like trash? Not a personality ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠issue. Pure physiological revulsion etched into their genes.

'But now, those chains are broken.'

A smile tugged at my lips in relief—but absolute reason grabbed emotion by the throat. No time to celebrate. Tackle the problems at hand first.

Scratch, scratch, scratch!

I wielded the pen like a machine, dumping the restored guide data from my brain onto the notebook. No room for feel-good happiness circuits. I had no continue coins. Game over meant permanent soul deletion.

'A two-person pure-love party to beat the Demon King? Arrogant suicide. That's for the pay-to-win protagonist with maxed stats.'

Not for a trash character like me with all F-rank stats. My combat power was effectively zero. Resonance had just awakened—beginner of beginners at [Resonance (EX) 1/5].

The clear path was obvious: fill all five heroine slots for a full six-man party.

My one lifeline right now? Piarot Evangeline. Not even a standard guide heroine. A late-game disaster-class hidden boss with overwhelming power.

And she'd dropped into my lap in year two like a miraculous stroke of luck. After over a hundred resets, I'd finally pulled the SSR gacha.

I had to make this one-and-only chance count.

The cooling fans in my head, ticking down by the second, ground to a halt. The crystal world of reason slowly warmed back to reality's temperature.

I set down the pen and let out a long breath.

'Phew... Time to start farming favorability.'

The next day. Perfect—it was Saturday. I threw on some clothes the moment I woke and slipped out of the dorm.

I melted into the shadows at the back door of the 2nd Cafeteria like a ghost. The weekend morning kitchen was dead quiet.

Swish swish.

With practiced hands, I raided the ingredient storeroom: potatoes, carrots, onions, mushrooms. And a bit of the head chef's prized A-grade pork loin.

The academy had about 3,000 students. Add staff and servants, over 5,000 total. Ten servings missing wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

I stashed the goods and dodged the employees' paths to exit. Destination: Senior Evangeline's house.

I headed straight there.

Knock knock.

"Senior Evangeline, you home?"

A rustle from inside, then the door creaked open.

Creeeak—.

"Who i......"

Half-lidded eyes, bird's nest hair exploding everywhere. She yawned in an oversized T-shirt.

Our eyes met.

"......"

"......"

"Kyaaah!! Evan?!"

Bam! The door slammed shut like it might shatter.

"Hey, Senior. Come on, is this how you treat me? Turning away a guest at the door is too much."

"W-wait just a sec!!"

Chaos erupted from beyond the door. At 10 a.m.? Crash, thud! Probably changing at light speed.

'Still... cute.'

I chuckled and leaned against the wall.

Moments later.

Click.

The door cracked open cautiously. She peeked out in casual clothes, face still damp from a fresh wash.

"Uh... what brings you here so early in the morning?"

"Got worried and came by." I grinned and held up the bulging bag. "Figured you skipped breakfast."

"Oh......"

Her cheeks flushed, and she flung the door wide with a beaming smile brighter than the morning sun.

I stepped inside naturally.

And froze.

"......"

The air was heavy and chilly. Cobwebs draped eerily from every ceiling corner. The floor was buried under unidentifiable junk and layers of dust.

A literal ruin.

But what seized my gaze was the kitchen beyond the trash heap of a living room. The one-meter radius around the sink she'd cleaned yesterday while cooking for me. That tiny spot alone gleamed unnaturally pristine.

'......This ain't no bishoujo's house.'

"Sure."

'Gah, body and mouth moving on their own... This is Charm. Can't resist.'

I set the ingredients on the table, and she bolted like a fugitive.

"Gimme a sec, gotta hit the bathroom!!"

"Got it."

The bathroom door shut. I exhaled held breath and scanned the house again.

Classic depression patient's lair.

'......'

With her overwhelming status and power, she could've magicked it clean in seconds. So the reason was simple.

'......No energy left for it.'

Her spirit utterly shattered, not even enough vitality left for daily basics. Traces of rotting away in isolation amid endless loathing and scorn, barely clinging to breath.

A sharp pang twisted in my chest. I knew that brutal loneliness all too well—rolling solo through a century of baseless hate.

It hit harder because of that. This frail girl, too broken to care for herself, had desperately scrubbed that tiny kitchen just to make me a warm meal.

'First things first—get her back on her feet.'

What I could offer her. The one thing this worthless me excelled at.

Click.

The bathroom door opened. Evangeline emerged, bangs damp from a fresh rinse.

"Senior Evangeline."

"Y-yes?"

Her eyes went wide as she looked at me. I rolled up my sleeves with grim resolve.

"Got a broom and mop anywhere?"

"......Pardon?"

"Gotta pay for that stew yesterday. And I'm killer at cleaning."

Combat? F-rank. Odd jobs? SSS-rank. A century-old work-study vet—that's me.

Ah, tears welling up.

She flailed in panic. "No, don't! How can I make a guest clean? Just sit."

I plopped down unbidden. "Sure thing."

'No!! That's not it!! This damn body's got no self-control!'

I scrambled to straighten up, loading my eyes with maximum sincerity and depth.

"Senior Evangeline."

My voice rumbled low like from a cave, making her shoulders twitch.

"I know the value of that stew you gave me. Abyss mandragora. Sell it on the market, you could buy a capital mansion easy."

"That was just leftover ingredients..."

"My conscience won't allow it. Please, let me clean at least. It's the only way to lighten this heavy burden on my heart."

Her red eyes quivered faintly. She averted her gaze, mumbling, then sighed softly and nodded.

"Alright... if you insist. Tools are on the veranda over there..."

"Thank you!"

I swiftly stowed the ingredients in the fridge.

Slide.

I opened the veranda door and the dusty cleaning kit. This place was no longer a witch's den. It was my sacred grinding ground for farming Evangeline's favor.

'Behold—the fantasy collab of a Korean military vet and century-old work-study pro.'

I brandished the broom like Excalibur. She tied her apron and stepped up.

Couldn't let a guest clean her own mess alone—not noble etiquette, apparently.

"Let's do it together. I'll start with the bathroom."

Blushing, she ducked into the bathroom. Soon, a cheerful whoosh of water followed.

'......'

Good. The bathroom from yesterday was the one normal spot in this house. Guess she couldn't give up on hygiene.

'Wait... no sweat drops or traces from me yesterday, right? Kinda worried...'

Ergh, no distractions! Cleaning first.

I took a deep breath and gripped the doorknob to the final boss room—the bedroom, radiating extreme difficulty.

Creeeak—.

"Cough... hack."

The door swung open, blasting me with musty old air and dust.

'This... ain't no bishoujo's bedroom!!'

The faint fantasy in my head shattered.

The bed was a tangle of discarded clothes and blankets like a typhoon-hit kimchi patch. Windows thick with dust, who knows when last opened.

Then something clinked underfoot.

Empty sleep aid bottles scattered on the floor. Seeing them conjured her heavy dark circles.

Insomnia... In this mess, no wonder she can't sleep.

My chest tightened. I silently threw open the windows for ventilation and approached the bed.

"First, gotta haul out this damp blanket mess."

I scooped up the tangled pile with both hands.

And.

"......"

Time stopped.

Beneath the musty blankets, on the white sheet. Smack in the center: something small, black, lacy, dangling precariously.

A scrap of fabric.

Th-this is... the legendary?

My hand moved faster than reason. Call it gamer looting instinct.

I reached out, entranced, and picked up the holy relic. Silky softness at my fingertips.

'Whoa, it's tiny.'

This scrap covers those heavy, voluptuous hips? Physically possible?

As I pondered the abyss of that tiny triangle in earnest—

Creak—.

Door opening behind me.

"Hey, Evan, um......"

"......"

I stood frozen, panties held up to eye level like a statue.

Then slowly, ever so slowly, turned my head. Joints creaking in my ears.

Evangeline at the door. Her red eyes locked on the black fabric in my hand.

Then slowly rose to meet mine precisely.

Suffocating silence. Her pupils trembled.

'......I'm screwed.'

My last life coin, gone to a ridiculous pervert bad end like this?

"Kyaaaaaaaah!!!!"

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The witch's scream assaulted my eardrums.