An Ordinary Everyday?
U Hana lay blankly on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes were fixed on it, but she wasn't really seeing anything. Overlaid on her vision weren't the events of today, but the scenes from that day.
Sports day. On the way back from school, heading out to hang out together.
In the end, Lee Seol had left first, and the mood that had soured afterward never really recovered. What should have been a fun, memorable day ended up fizzling out so blandly. They parted ways without even achieving their original goal.
Their original goal. Obviously, it had been to have fun with Min-woo. He wasn't the type to show up for that kind of thing anyway. Hanging out together, wasting time on nothing in particular— who knew how many more chances there'd be for that.
And that chance had slipped away.
She didn't want to blame anyone else. It was all... her fault.
She hadn't expected Lee Seol to react so sensitively... But not expecting it didn't erase her mistake. She'd let her emotions take the lead without properly considering how the other person might take it.
U Hana had long since admitted to herself that she liked Lee Min-woo. At some point, denying it had started to feel ridiculous.
She missed him, worried about him, got flustered over the smallest words... Once she'd acknowledged it, those feelings had ballooned uncontrollably, like she couldn't put the brakes on anymore.
She'd felt it most sharply when Lee Seol grabbed Min-woo's arm and dragged him away right in front of her. It was like a switch flipping—her heart ignited in a blaze.
She'd wanted to yank Seol's hand off right then. Pull Min-woo back to her side.
But she couldn't actually do that. All she could manage were words.
"I shouldn't have said that to Seol..."
She'd issued a warning. Like, he's the guy I chose first, so stay away. She'd tried to soften it, but the jealousy was too blatant.
It was such an immature way to handle it. So Seol's reaction was her own fault. Her failure to control her emotions.
"You idiot... why'd you do that?"
The quiet mutter sank into the empty room.
What she hated even more was that Min-woo had gotten caught in the crossfire.
Thinking about it, Min-woo had been completely in the dark.
He had no idea what emotions had passed between her and Seol, or why the mood had turned so awkward. He'd just gotten splashed with the fallout through no fault of his own.
That was the last thing she'd wanted.
Even though she'd sworn to herself a thousand times not to make him uncomfortable because of her feelings.
She didn't want Seol getting closer to Lee Min-woo. She didn't want to tremble with anxiety watching it happen. And above all, she didn't want any of it to burden Min-woo.
U Hana covered her eyes with her arm.
It was too greedy.
She wanted it all.
Even though she didn't have the ability to control any of it...
That moment during the sports day three-legged race, when she'd tentatively opened her heart. When their eyes met and she couldn't help smiling, when just standing close made her whole day brighter—those little moments.
Those small happinesses should have been enough.
Why couldn't her emotions stop there? Why did she have to get greedy for more?
A little closer, and she wanted even closer. A little special, and she craved more. A little hope, and suddenly she was dreaming bigger all on her own.
Why did her heart always grow beyond its station?
...What kind of monster is living inside me?
Suddenly, a sharper anxiety clawed at her chest.
What if Min-woo found out? What if he learned this mess was all because of her? What if he started feeling burdened? What if that easy smile turned awkward, and he stopped approaching her so naturally... What if he drifted away?
Just imagining it chilled her to the bone. The very feelings drawing her closer could push him away— that terrified her.
U Hana bit her lip.
"...But I should probably confess, right? Yeah, that's the way."
Even picturing it made her heart pound with dread... But she had to do something about her feelings. She couldn't leave it like this.
At the very least, she couldn't let it affect Min-woo.
U Hana picked up her phone from beside her.
For now... maybe she should apologize to Seol first. Retracting those words now would be ridiculous, but it was the only option.
In the pitch-black room, lights off.
Lee Seol lay face-down on the bed, burying her face in the pillow, motionless for minutes now.
"Seol-ah, you really not eating dinner?"
Her mom called from outside the door, but she gave a short reply and buried her face even deeper.
Her breathing felt a bit stifled, but that was better. If she couldn't hear or see anything, maybe her thoughts would quiet down too.
But even that didn't work. Her mind wouldn't settle.
She kept messing up.
Really, over and over.
Why only in front of Min-woo? Thinking back, it had been like this countless times, ever since the school trip. Whenever she got involved with him, she turned into someone broken, nothing like her usual self.
She wasn't like this normally. At least, not this childish, sensitive, petty.
But standing before Min-woo, she couldn't hold it together.
This time... she couldn't even call it just acting dumb.
She'd been so blatantly aggressive... It was over. Completely.
The thought hit her crystal clear, and her chest sank like a stone.
The same scene kept replaying in her head.
Min-woo peeling away from the wall, saying he'd head out, walking off.
His expression then. His eyes.
His voice lingered especially in her ears.
It had been ice-cold.
Not his usual amused smile... Just like someone who wanted nothing more to do with her.
He's gonna cut me off... right? I'd do the same. Why bother with someone so nasty, who spits words like that?
Best to steer clear of exhausting people.
"Is that really what you want?"
The sudden thought pierced her mind, and she grimaced into the pillow.
No. No way.
Him pulling away from her... From now on, no casual chats, no meeting eyes without him looking away indifferently.
She didn't want any of that. Not one bit.
But she'd crossed an irreversible line. No taking back words once spoken. And spilling everything honestly? He'd think she was some crazy bitch.
It hurt. Her eyes stung hot, like she'd just been dumped by her first love...
At least that would mean mutual feelings. This was just...
"I don't want to think about anything..."
She'd thought burying her face would help, but in the dark, her emotions only sharpened. Then, her phone buzzed nearby on the bed.
They said my photoshoot would be released in three weeks.
Being an online feature, it could go up faster if they wanted, but there was a prerequisite: after all of Eighteen's Temperature uploaded. The interview had covered up to episode 10 anyway.
Weekend over, ordinary daily life awaited as usual.
I met U Hana early in the morning like always. One difference: she seemed to have something to say, stealing glances at me oddly.
Instead of her usual bright opener, she fidgeted with her bag strap—anyone could tell something was bothering her.
I spoke first in the end.
"What's up?"
She hesitated at that, then asked cautiously.
"Were you uncomfortable last time by any chance?"
"You mean at the sports festival...?"
"Yeah. The vibe got kinda bad."
Of course it had been uncomfortable with what happened with Seol, but it was surprising for Hana to bring it up. Weren't we both in the awkward spot?
Something told me, so I said,
"Did something happen between you two?"
"Yeah."
"Then why'd Seol act like that toward me? Do you know why?"
"It's because of me... yeah."
"Because of you?"
I asked, puzzled, and she chewed her lip before saying,
"I told Seol I didn't like how close you two seemed."
"Huh?"
"That's why. I said I was jealous."
...Jealousy? The word lodged sharply in my ear. So out of left field, I blurted out the thought in my head.
"You like me?"
"...Yeah."