Chapter 21
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 21
Chapter Title: Chapter 1.5 - It's a Hot Spring!
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Hot springs—or bathhouses, as they're sometimes known—were facilities passed down through the ages.
The most famous example was the grand Roman bathhouses from antiquity. Clean water was a precious commodity back then, unlike today, so it was commonplace for everyone to bathe together.
There was no way such places wouldn't exist in this world. The Brittman Resort where I currently found myself was a perfect example.
This resort catered primarily to young couples. Blessed by Demeterion, the god overseeing fertility, it was... well, the perfect spot for some steamy nights.
The Holy Empire's scriptures did warn against 'indulging in pleasure and being tainted by lust,' but they said nothing about forbidding marriage.
In fact, quite a few newlywed couples with priestly backgrounds frequented the place.
So I knew something like this might happen.
'But this is way too blatant.'
Not even a family bath—it was boldly labeled as a couples' bath.
A tub designed for exactly two people, clearly meant to ignore prying eyes. I naturally assumed it was a place where you'd wear a swimsuit.
So when Sylvia suggested we hit the hot springs, I figured we'd just soak a bit and head back refreshed. There's nothing quite like a good scrub followed by crashing into bed.
But I never dreamed a full-blown UFC would erupt right in front of me. No wonder it was the top honeymoon spot for newlyweds.
"What are you waiting for? Come on in."
Poke.
Sylvia crossed her arms.
Her left ring finger proudly displayed a silver band embedded with a ruby, tapping my arm. A gift from the dwarf desperate to win her favor.
Normally, I'd have shot it down flat.
"No, please! I was going to throw it away anyway, so take it!"
He'd been on the verge of suffocating from panic, so I'd reluctantly accepted. His face turning blueberry-pie blue was a first, even counting my past life.
"We're a couple, aren't we? It'd be weirder if we didn't go in together."
Since it was a spot popular with couples, we had to play the part. That logic had brought us here, so her words weren't exactly out of line.
Besides, compared to folding at the waist over the fake engagement fiasco, this seemed like a better way to lighten the mood. I'd been going along with it so far.
'But come on. This is a bit much.'
I suddenly hated the Holy Archives for choosing this as our rendezvous point.
Actually, no—the dwarfs who insisted on meeting here were the real culprits. What, had they been hit with some romance-novel curse or brainwashing beam?
"Hmm... Do this, and your bedroom door might open for me at dawn?"
Of course, hating the dwarfs wouldn't make the UFC in front of me vanish. Seriously, a 9th-circle lich or black mage felt less terrifying than Sylvia right now!
"Sylvia. Do we have to go in together?"
This just felt wrong. Sure, if we were kids, but we're grown now. It wasn't something to take lightly.
"Hmm. That's weird. Someone once called me his little girl."
Her expression was devilishly coy. Like she'd been waiting for this moment, flashing that infuriating smile.
...Why is it suddenly so chilly? Is there a draft?
"If you feel nothing, we can just go in like old times, right?"
What a low blow. Throwing an easy-mode dilemma like this just because I'd grown a bit.
If I refused, she'd spread rumors everywhere that I saw her as a woman. Then the reinforcements would swarm, led by the marchioness.
Straight to the cathedral for wedding prep. Dress fittings, tux try-ons—the works.
Go in together? Who knows what might happen inside. The first was a known horror; the second, an unknown one.
'...Feels like she's got me cornered.'
Like some uhuhu villain's scheme from a comic, I felt myself being eroded bit by bit.
The phrasing was off, but it fit the big picture.
If word of this leaked even a little, my body would be torn to shreds.
Say it hit Duke Baltar of the Astria Family straight on? His honest punch would crater me, turning me into a donut on the spot.
'Fine.'
If it was hell either way...
"Let's go in."
"...Pardon?"
I decided to man up and charge through.
I knew it, Sylvia. You didn't think this through.
Your teasing antics weren't one-offs. I'd built up a tolerance to this mischief.
"...F-For real?"
"Of course."
I'm not scared!
Okay, I was terrified, but a shot arrow doesn't turn back.
So please, end this chicken game—
"..."
Sylvia smirked, satisfied.
Then her one fatal line.
"You said it yourself, bro."
Danger. My instincts screamed.
Can't dodge with words—time for a physical escape—
"Try running."
My collar and waist were already in her grasp.
Any twitch, and she'd hurl me again. Threat clear.
My body remembered the last impact—abs and back muscles tensed.
"...Sylvia. Bro's lost, so let's call it—"
"By the way, I recorded everything. Who should I send it to~?"
"...Let's go in."
No choice. Damn, she'd grown cunning...
"♬—♪—♬"
A tune escaped my lips unbidden. How long had I planned to get us in here?
"Sylvia. Got a boyfriend?"
"...That obvious?"
"Nah, but who'd buy a swimsuit like that otherwise?!"
To borrow Daniel bro's words: checkmate. Or a total pinch.
Of course, no slacking till the marriage papers were stamped, but stepping in here together meant we'd crossed the goal line.
"♬—♪"
Now, time to drive the dagger home—straight to his heart.
"Bro, how about bathing together? Like old times?"
"...Can't you let me off once?"
"...Just this once?"
That's why I suggested washing separately before meeting at the outdoor bath.
He probably thought he'd dodged a bullet. As if—I'd watched him for years.
A quick pump, and liquid soap pours out. Lather up, scrub every inch clean.
From finger joints to toes, squeaky clean.
Then, the all-important hair. I'd brought perfume and a fine comb just for this.
Pink strands gleamed in the spotless mirror—meticulously maintained daily to catch Daniel bro's eye.
Part of me wanted to ask him to wash it.
'He'd just reminisce.'
Back then: You clung to me bawling during thunderstorms.
And Bro does it best, right?—then lather away.
The worst part? His firm, familial touch felt too good; I'd melt into it, mind blanking.
"All done. Now dry your hair."
"...Ah."
Everything over before I knew it.
How much I'd sharpened my blade to avoid repeating that childhood slip—he had no clue.
"Ugh..."
My heart pounded. I'd never pushed this hard before.
The swimsuit on my right? Big commitment.
"Whoa... Show this, and it's over. Done."
"For real?"
"Duh. Guys are wired for that. Unless the equipment's busted. Here, I'll show you the pose!"
I didn't expect one shot to end it all. But it'd shatter the 'kid sister' image.
And his earlier reaction... Higher odds than I'd thought.
"Ready!"
Premium lotion on, skin silkier, almost glossy.
Then the pristine white robe. Per a friend's advice: Gifts gotta pop!
Confirmed it hid the swimsuit straps perfectly—then I stepped out.
Creeak.
The wooden door swung open gracefully, winter chill sweeping over me.
Cool stone tickled my soles. Following the floor to the spring...
"...You came?"
Daniel bro eyed me, relieved.
Robed head to toe—he'd let his guard down.
"You're already here, bro?"
Expression control is key.
Playing innocent girl to the hilt, I sat left of him.
Hot water rose: feet, calves, hips, waist, chest.
"Be honest—was it a little scary?"
"...Yeah."
Like a lioness stalking a deer, I herded my prey slowly.
"I'd love to pounce, but I'll hold back... for today."
Lies. No holding back—that's why this embarrassing outfit. Why else endure this?
"...For real?"
"Yup."
"Phew..."
We chatted idly. Old memories, his recent tales.
"So I decked him. Tease moderately, or they push back."
"...But you didn't in the end, bro. Your fault?"
"Sylvia. That hurts poor bro's heart."
...Honestly, his actions baffled me.
Always yapping about marriage like a kid, but no real moves.
Like self-talk, a habit or routine?
Otherwise, knowing my feelings, why act like that?
Contradictory guy.
So I pushed hard.
"Right here. Someone to marry you."
"...Miss Sylvia. Don't swoop in like that."
"Hm..."
"Bro can't see you as a—"
Now?
"Even like this?"
"? What're you— Whoa!"
I flung off the robe—whoosh. A yelp escaped him.
His eyes shut at lightspeed.
"Not looking?"
"Not 'not looking'—can't look."
"Tch."
Thought intimacy would soften him—instead, he hardened up.
"I wore it properly! I'm not a kid."
...Embarrassing, but clothed. Swimsuit fabric was skimpy, sure.
My face burned; couldn't meet his eyes.
"...A girl shouldn't show that to a guy."
Eyes squeezed shut, unmoving. Had to shake him up.
"Just tried it before friends' trip. Meant to prank you."
"..."
"Whoa. Hate it that much?"
Splash! Sat boldly beside him—his robed form in full view.
"Just rate it once. Pre-review. Pre-review."
Lie. One he'd never spot. Daniel bro was considerate, not perceptive.
If perceptive, he wouldn't be living like this.
"...For real?"
"Yup."
"Well, don't tell anyone else—"
"No way—man up and open your eyes!"
Finally, lids lifted slowly. Sharp brows framing black irises. Gaze locked on.
"What do you think...?"
Red bikini stark against pale skin. Arm behind head, pose struck.
Honestly... mortifying. First time showing him something so revealing—and the pose.
Our eyes met.
"...Can't show other guys."
Eyes shut again.
Hmm. Perfect.
Mission accomplished—no need to push; it'd turn heavy.
So...
"Take this!"
Splash! Water to his face. He sputtered, standing.
Whatever—he couldn't do squat.
"Coward couldn't even peek!"
Scared stiff—
"?"
Splat. Splash nailed my face. How, with eyes closed?
"Sylvia. Sorry, but bro's used to this."
Right—forgot amid his oblivious grins. Execution Bureau's deputy director.
"Gonna drown you today?"
This range? He knew my position blind.
Oh crap...
"B-Bro! I-I surrender!"
"Time for a spanking!"
"Sorry!"
Got splashed, knuckle-rapped...
"Sorry! I'm a kid, so that part—!"
"Nope."
"Waaah!"
Precious, happy time.