The Second Letter
The witch's proposal refused to leave Vivian's mind.
‘Vivian, you can survive and achieve revenge. Isn't that what you needed most right now?’
She kept drifting into thoughts about the witch. Sixteen times in her mind. Of the remaining ten, three were Kailo Allen... one was family, but...
Her words about needing power lingered.
Sometimes she wondered if it might not be the only path. For Vivian who had lost her anchor, his touch felt like salvation.
It was an undeniable truth that the witch's approach had lightened the burden and weight in her heart.
The difference between seeing hope and not seeing it was vast.
But even in moments that seemed right, she could not make a choice, due to the aversion to witches she had learned and the sacrifices required to become one.
The witch had taught her that witches worshipped devils. Linne's words had burned into her ears.
Of course, the witch Elena herself had flatly declared it was nothing but baseless rumor... but from the perspective of someone who had not yet become a witch, it was difficult to trust.
What if she became a witch and then truly began to worship devils?
Like a frog slowly cooking in hot water, even worshipping devils without realizing it and sinking in?
Also, sacrificing the most precious thing. What if, when the time came, she could not bear to let go of what she held dear?
The Rondore family or Loktana territory seemed impossible to sacrifice. It was not so much affection as lack of shame.
Moreover, the two eyes that allowed her to see the world were the most precious thing...
Could she give that up?
...Of course, if she died before that, it would mean nothing.
What was precious had to be alive to have meaning, not the opposite.
Thinking that way, what reason was there not to sacrifice the precious?
“Vivian-nim.”
The familiar voice woke Vivian from her reverie.
Deep wrinkles on white hair. A straight waist and dignity on her face.
It was Linne, Vivian's teacher.
“Concentrate. You've been drifting into thoughts a lot today.”
“...”
Vivian suddenly recalled Linne's evaluation of the witch.
‘Within this great territory, is there only one person who can be called an ally... Linne Rommer?’
The witch had not known everything, but she had evaluated Linne as likely an ally to Vivian.
Vivian had never thought of Linne as an ally before, but in her current danger, she considered trying to trust her just once.
“Teacher, before that... a little curious thing has come up.”
Linne raised an eyebrow, surprised that Vivian had spoken first.
“Speak.”
“I-I want to know about witches.”
“Witches?”
Linne's expression was too out of place with the question, but the cane she usually wielded lightly did not move.
Instead, she answered with a slightly warm tone.
“What do you want to know about witches?”
“W-why the Las Church rejects witches so much... I want to know.”
“That is only natural.”
Linne answered without the slightest hesitation.
“The seed of the disaster that worships devils must not exist in the world. They seduce people, bring misfortune, sow evil through curses... To protect the people we love, their actions can never be tolerated. From the moment they use terrifying magic, they are no longer human.”
If using terrifying magic made them no longer human, then people who committed terrifying acts were also not human, right?
They were fine, but witches were not?
Could magic not be seen as self-defense depending on the situation? Wasn't defending natural when the opponent attacked?
“W-what if even a witch who did nothing dies?”
Linne was puzzled by why Vivian had this question, but answered honestly anyway.
“If they were not going to do anything, they would not have become witches. I heard witches are hereditary. Witches seek those who feel the need for witchcraft and promise revenge together. Only those who feel the need for evil power become witches.”
The more she listened to Linne's words, the more her desire to become a witch gradually weakened.
It seemed to have some validity.
She had no desire to become such a being that the world found suspicious.
The shaking now was just forced.
Maintaining sanity was very difficult with death threats looming every day.
Even eating, she could not without Kailo Allen, which was another kind of burden.
It was shameful to rely on the enemy.
Vivian sighed and brushed aside her thoughts about witches.
And when she eliminated that possibility, the heart's burden immediately grew heavy again.
Then, if not a witch, how should she live?
What path should she choose to survive until adulthood?
How to revive the family that her family had protected with their lives?
How to grow so as not to be ashamed before Kailo Allen or ignored by the Allen family?
How to grow so that the departed family could be proud?
“...”
Vivian looked up at Linne.
Again, Vivian gathered courage and asked. Linne had said not to make weak sounds, but now she had lost the path too much.
“Tea-teacher. J-just one more.”
“...”
“...S-speak honestly. W-what should I do to survive?”
Linne showed surprise and sympathy at the question.
Since they had not talked much about life in the poison incident, this was the first time they had discussed life and death.
A long silence lingered between them.
Linne let out a long sigh and slowly walked over.
Then approached Vivian, pulled a chair, and sat down heavily.
Linne stared at Vivian's eyes fixedly. She hesitated for a moment. As the silence lengthened, the awkwardness in the room deepened.
Finally, Linne slowly shook her head and said.
“I... don't know well either. The world is too complex, and things do not go as predicted.”
It was not the answer Vivian wanted. Linne knew it and immediately added.
“But the path I see is only one. The one with high possibility is that too.”
“W-what is that?”
Linne took a deep breath again and spoke heavy words.
“...To grow into a beautiful woman. And take a powerful man as husband.”
“...”
At that moment, the room became quiet again. Linne's words were concise, but the weight was as heavy as the air between them.
Vivian could only stare at Linne and could not answer.
Her mind was complicated, and something felt suffocating in her chest.
It was the words that she had to flatter a being she did not love to survive.
Vivian had not experienced love yet, but somehow she could vaguely anticipate the emotions she would feel then.
She was already living without being able to say one word to the adults she wanted to tell.
Yet, that situation would continue even after becoming an adult.
Linne's words could be understood rationally, but life felt miserably again.
“Vivian-nim, a man's weapon is physical power, but... a woman's weapon is beauty. Loyalty and sacrifice can be forced with great power.”
-Tap.
Linne's cane lightly hit Vivian's leg.
Vivian's leg, which had been relaxed without tension, was neatly corrected.
Linne shook her head.
“But Vivian-nim, it is too insufficient right now. People who want to take a stammering... woman as wife are not many.”
The firm voice of hers carried a cold warning to face reality.
“Of course, there are many men who would come running just seeing Vivian as the Rondore family head, but if they stammer, the range of choice would narrow.”
“...”
Why did Kailo Allen come to mind at this moment?
In front of him, he did not stammer these days. Maybe because he hid it as much as he hated him.
At least they did not face each other without masks, so even if not comfortable, she felt safe by his side.
It was a funny thing. In the world, not stammering in front of one person who could never connect.
Linne sighed and said.
“It is not just about fixing the stammer. Vivian-nim, are you on your period?”
“...”
Vivian did not answer out of shame.
Linne did not press Vivian.
“When your period comes, you have to learn various knowledge and manners besides this. After growing up, dance at balls, elegant gestures, etiquette and conversation methods.”
“...S-sex knowledge?”
“If you could grow without knowing, it would be good, but... Vivian-nim is not in a position to be picky. You have to learn all theories in detail, and also learn how to pretend to be innocent by pretending not to know.”
Linne hit Vivian's shoulder with the cane again, -tap, and continued endlessly.
“Teach you how to seduce men. You have to steadily learn seductive words too. Your face is blushing now, do not be ashamed. You have to survive, right? Delicate gestures, eyes, expressions... and even nights, you will learn.”
“W-what is night?”
“...You will know soon.”
At this moment, Vivian's perception of Linne changed a bit.
Because she had only learned cane beating and ineffective education... secretly, Vivian had disliked Linne.
Even though Linne said this, it was not that she could trust her instantly, but it was not ungrateful that there was at least a plan for her.
Linne added solemnly.
“You have to become a perfect woman. An ugly woman is easy to kill, but a beautiful woman is hard to kill. It is a cruel story, but the impact is different. You may have to make everyone who might be in love with you your enemy. You have to manage not only behavior but also body. You have to have full breasts, narrow waist, wide hips.”
“Th-that's something I can't do.”
“Even so, you shouldn't gain too much flesh. Self-management is necessary.”
Since the one speaking was Linne, it was hard to argue.
She was still well-managed in body despite old age.
Finally, Vivian could only answer by nodding shallowly.
“Your expression is full of worry.”
“...S-sorry.”
“That’s why I didn't want to tell you first.”
“...”
In Linne's cold rebuke, Vivian shrank again.
But how could shrinking help?
You heard you have to live a life to seduce men... how can it not be empty.
Hearing her future shrink to such simple choices was heartbreaking.
However, before her feelings completely collapsed, Linne smiled slightly and said.
“Don’t worry too much.”
“Eh?”
Vivian was dazed by the words. It was the first comfort she heard.
“If you learn everything and can love with the man you want to love... Vivian-nim will surely be happy.”
The word "happy" felt very far. Vivian asked herself unconsciously.
“Being with a man I love... is that so happy?”
Linne nodded.
There was not a single doubt on her face.
It was a face that had experienced the world.
“More warm than parents' love.”
“...”
It was an incomprehensible analogy.
Is there anything happier in the world than parents' love?
But since it was a cold and true word from Linne's mouth... there was a bit of hope.
-Clap clap!
Linne clapped to refresh the atmosphere.
She got up from her nearby seat and said.
“But everything is after fixing the stammering.”
“Yes, yes...”
“If you fix that, I plan to invite many more guests to Loktana. Vivian-nim needs friends for socializing. Calling the daughters of Viscount Debos is fine too. They are all really pretty and cute.”
Friends?
But before she could think, Linne handed the book she brought to Vivian and said.
“Then, shall we continue the lesson?”
-Bang!
At that moment, the door opened violently.
While startled, Kailo Allen with black hair entered the room as if walking into Vivian's room.
“I came to see the lesson today too.”
He said as if nothing.
But since the topic of conversation with Linne was the same, Vivian felt her face heat up for the first time and shouted.
“Get out!”
-Swoosh!
She threw the book in front of her at Kailo without realizing.
-Thud!
Kailo who blocked the flying book lowered his anger...
“What the hell, the first thing you throw after coming in is a book...”
...Realizing the atmosphere was different from usual, he snorted and turned his body.