Chapter 21
Chapter 21
Poisoning (3)
At the center of the vast hall stood a long, magnificent dining table.
And seated alone at the very end of it, Vivian looked like a lonely duck drifting helplessly across a wide river.
The carefully prepared meal laid before her remained untouched.
The fragrant aroma rising from the dishes no longer stimulated her appetite.
Lately, it had always been like this.
Her eyes staring at the food were hollow, and only deep emptiness filled her heart.
“...”
Vivian picked up her fork, then slowly set it down again.
The space surrounding the dining table felt far too large and silent.
The family portraits hanging on the walls still looked elegant, but the people within them had long since left her side.
Every time Vivian looked at their smiling faces, memories of the warmth and love from those days resurfaced painfully.
Those memories had now become her suffering.
They were recollections that only made reality feel colder.
Half a year had passed since the last person who stayed beside her, her mother, died.
During that time, Vivian had been so busy trying to restore Rondor, the family left behind as an inheritance, that she barely had time to think...
...Yet no matter how much time passed, she never grew used to mealtimes.
These moments alone always felt unbearable.
Meals used to mean family gathered together.
Conversation and laughter never stopped.
Father smiling warmly while talking with Mother.
Her older brother sternly cutting food for her while telling her to eat more.
Vivian loved those moments.
But now all of it was gone.
Only silence remained, silent as death itself.
The silence crept along the vast walls toward her, swallowing Vivian deeper into loneliness.
Would this pain ever end someday?
Whenever things became difficult, Vivian always remembered Kylo Allen’s provocations.
She remembered his words mocking her family, saying weak people like them were destined to lose.
Last time, when she provoked him while he suffered after the executions, it had only been a whim.
She simply couldn’t leave him alone because her conscience bothered her.
And every time mealtime returned, she regretted that choice.
Whenever she drowned in loneliness, she hated House Allen beyond words.
Conscience or not, she thought she should have just left him alone.
Vivian quietly tore off a piece of bread and put it into her mouth with a sigh.
Rondor was the family her father, mother, and brother gave their lives to protect.
Now she had to protect it in their place.
Lately, she wanted to restore the family even out of sheer stubbornness.
Otherwise, all this suffering would mean nothing.
But sometimes, even then, Vivian closed her eyes and imagined something else.
She wished someone would sit beside her.
She wished for a gentle hand to stroke her hair.
For a warm voice to call her name.
For someone to listen to her ordinary stories and sympathize with her.
If she had that, maybe these moments would become slightly easier to endure.
“...”
Even lately, she still heard the maids whispering.
They envied her for inheriting Roktana’s vast territory.
They said the rich, fertile southern lands all belonged to her.
And maybe they were right.
Perhaps no fourteen-year-old girl in existence possessed more than Vivian did.
But despite having more than anyone else, she still lacked the most important thing.
Someone to stay beside her.
.
.
.
Vivian finished her meal after eating less than half.
She couldn’t eat anymore.
Even swallowing a single sip of water felt unbearably heavy.
Eating alone in a silent room wasn’t simply about filling her stomach.
It was torture that forced her to confront her loneliness.
And now she wanted to escape that torture.
At that moment, Sena, the maid quietly standing nearby, approached Vivian.
After hesitating awkwardly, the maid finally spoke softly.
“...Lady Vivian, you’ve eaten far too little. It’ll harm your health. Shouldn’t you try eating at least a little more?”
Vivian slowly raised her eyes toward the maid.
“It’s alright, Sena. I can’t eat anymore.”
Sena hesitated.
Unlike usual, the concern she showed almost seemed to reflect Vivian’s current condition back at her.
Truthfully, Vivian herself felt it too.
Day by day, she had gradually reduced how much she ate.
Now even the small amount of flesh left on her arms and legs was slowly disappearing.
Vivian knew her body would only grow weaker, but if she forced down even one more bite, it felt like she might vomit it back up immediately.
“But Lady Vivian...”
“Then... w-would you like to eat with me?”
“...”
At Sena’s continued urging, Vivian suddenly asked.
Only after saying it did Sena awkwardly step backward.
“How could I possibly...”
“I-I said I don’t mind.”
“...I’ve already eaten.”
“Y-You could just eat a little more.”
“....”
In the end, Sena never answered.
Vivian already understood why.
Lately, nobody wanted to stand on her side anymore.
It was like walking a tightrope.
No one wanted to grab hold of the rope called Vivian.
As time passed, Vivian could clearly see the factions dividing apart like flowers spread beneath the sun.
Everyone avoided getting too close to her because they didn’t know what might happen if they appeared to support her.
If they gave her even the slightest opening, she might continue asking them to eat together again.
Of course, not every faction openly opposed Vivian.
Some people simply cared more about their own interests than anything else...
But regardless, Vivian herself was not considered an attractive choice.
Understanding that, Vivian let out a bitter snort.
Then she stood from her seat.
“...Sorry, Sena. It was a strange request.”
“...”
Sena could only blush silently.
Leaving her behind, Vivian started walking out of the hall.
“...Ah?”
She only managed a few steps before the world suddenly spun around her.
-Tap tap.
I patted my back pocket.
Out of habit, I checked whether the charcoal powder I prepared was still there.
It had already been two days since I crushed the charcoal Gulk gave me and carried it around in a small pouch.
The warning to be careful of the food felt less convincing with every passing day...
...But because it involved my life, I still couldn’t ignore it completely.
Recently, I had been lingering near Vivian’s castle rather than the Punishment Corps barracks.
Part of it was because I still wanted to find the maid who gave me the note...
...But another reason was that once my suspicions grew, they refused to leave my head.
It all started from something Willas said.
“So basically this procession is meant to make the people of Roktana recognize who the head of House Rondor is?”
A procession announcing Rondor’s lord.
Just as House Allen occasionally did, it was meant to reinforce authority and responsibility as ruler.
Vivian’s procession would happen soon.
Which meant her position as head of the family would become more secure.
And right as that procession approached, I received the note.
Be careful of the food.
“...”
That led me to one possibility.
What if the warning wasn’t meant for me?
What if it was asking me to protect Vivian instead?
If Vivian truly had enemies trying to remove her...
If someone wanted to seize her position, or refused to acknowledge Vivian Rondor as head of the family...
Wouldn’t eliminating her before the procession be the most efficient choice?
Once she publicly introduced herself to the territory’s people, moving against her would become far more troublesome.
Wouldn’t now be the perfect opportunity for her enemies to act?
“...”
Of course, this was all just speculation.
Ridiculous speculation.
Even assuming the note wasn’t a joke, the idea that such information would be given to me was absurd.
Why ask me of all people?
If someone wanted to protect Vivian, there were countless others far more suitable.
It felt just like the Duchess.
As though she’d made the outrageous request that I protect Vivian.
I clicked my tongue lightly.
The more I thought about it, the more impossible it sounded.
No matter how damaged Rondor became, poisoning the head of the family—
“Hurry! Quickly!!”
That was when I heard maids and guards running somewhere in a panic.
Dozens of people shouted urgently while racing through the castle.
“...”
I stood frozen blankly for a moment before realization struck, turning my mind completely white.
What happened?
For some reason, I already felt like I knew.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, my body moved before my mind did.
I pushed away all complicated thoughts and started running.
I repeated to myself hundreds of times that it couldn’t be what I feared.
Maybe because I desperately hoped it wasn’t.
.
.
.
I followed the maids and guards toward the massive hall inside Rondor Castle.
This was where Vivian always ate.
I had spent plenty of time watching her miserably pick at food here alone.
And the sheer number of people gathered here immediately sank my mood heavily.
The hall was already overflowing with people.
I pushed through the tightly packed adults blocking the way like a stone wall.
“Lady Vivian! Lady Vivian!!”
Urgent cries rang out from beyond the crowd.
And the louder those desperate voices became, the faster I moved.
-Slam!
At last I forced my way through the crowd and entered the hall.
Then I saw her.
Her long red hair had come loose in disarray, and all color had drained from her face.
“Khk... hhk...”
Drool dripped from her mouth as she desperately struggled to breathe.
Clutching painfully at her throat, Vivian grabbed frantically onto a maid’s clothes.
So many people surrounded her, yet none of them could do anything.
Everyone only shouted their own thoughts in confusion.
One maid cried out,
“B-Bring Scholar Krellyn quickly...!”
“Scholar Krellyn left this morning to gather herbs...!”
Someone else shouted,
“H-Hit her back...! Ah, ah, what do we do?!”
“I-I’m already hitting her back...!”
Another voice cried,
“An antidote...!”
“How can you talk about an antidote when we don’t even know what poison it is?!”
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
So many people had gathered, yet not one of them could actually help her.
No.
Looking more carefully, some didn’t even want to help.
Some guards only watched nervously.
Some maids quietly backed away and hid among the crowd.
Some soldiers merely observed blankly with frightened expressions.
Some knights only flapped their mouths, shouting for news to be spread faster.
Everyone was more concerned with calming their own racing hearts.
No one stepped forward to truly help her.
No one wanted responsibility for what was happening.
The hall remained trapped in chaotic hesitation while everyone waited for someone else to act first.
And amidst all that, Vivian stood completely alone.
Perhaps she still retained enough awareness, because her eyes slowly swept across the gathered crowd.
“Hahk...! Ahk!”
Her desperate blinking gaze gradually filled with despair.
Just as it was obvious to me, it must have become obvious to her too.
There wasn’t a single person here who genuinely wanted to save her.
Only people desperate to avoid responsibility.
Would things have been different if her family had loved her more?
Maybe it was only my imagination, but it felt as though many people secretly hoped this incident would lead to replacing the head of the family.
Realizing that, Vivian’s breathing grew even shallower.
“Hahk....... khk....”
The strength slowly drained from the hand clutching her throat.
Tears rolled from her red eyes.
Miserable tears balanced somewhere between despair and surrender.
The last flame of Rondor was dying like that.
And that was when I finally couldn’t endure it anymore and rushed toward her.
“Move...!”
I shoved aside the useless maids patting Vivian’s back and knelt beside her.
The crowd inhaled sharply in disbelief when they saw me step forward.
Considering the relationship between Vivian and me, it was only natural.
But I had no time to care about that.
I grabbed Vivian’s shoulder while kneeling beside her.
Her hopeless, trembling eyes slowly turned toward me.
Had we ever been this close before?
Only now, at this distance, did she fully recognize me while gasping painfully for breath.
And her eyes changed.
There were emotions that didn’t need words.
After spending months exchanging silent battles of gaze with her, I understood them better than anyone.
Faced with the fear of death, Vivian was ultimately still just a young girl.
Her eyes forgot our hatred and revealed only vivid terror.
“Bring water!!”
Looking into those eyes was unbearable, so I turned and shouted orders at the maids.
Only after I took charge did they finally begin running around frantically.
Then I looked back at Vivian.
Why couldn’t I ever leave Vivian Rondor alone?
Her enemies attacked her from the shadows.
It was a signal that war inside Rondor had begun.
And if I saved her now, then I too would become part of that war.
I wouldn’t be able to save her first and then step away afterward.
Rationally speaking, I knew how unbelievably inefficient this was.
Why was I willingly suffering for Vivian, who hated me enough to kill me?
But there was one thing even more certain than how irrational my actions were.
Even if I didn’t fully understand why... one truth about my heart had finally become clear.
A truth I could finally admit now.
I wanted Vivian to live.
That alone was unwavering truth.
It was true when she lost hope and drowned in despair.
It was true when she struggled.
And it was true now.
I wanted to see her grow into adulthood alongside me.
I didn’t know why.
I didn’t know why I felt this way.
But now I knew I had to protect her.
If I didn’t hold onto that conviction, I felt like I would regret it forever later.
If only I had accepted these feelings sooner, would Vivian have avoided drinking poison at all?
Had all my hesitation and watching from afar led to this?
...I didn’t know.
But there was no time to think about it now.
I had to focus on fixing what had already gone wrong.
I gripped the back of Vivian’s neck to steady her and stared directly into her red eyes.
We definitely weren’t close enough to exchange awkward words like “please don’t die.”
If I said something like that, she would probably only doubt my sincerity.
So instead, I whispered words she could understand more easily.
“...Where do you think you’re dying on your own?”
“Hahk... hngh...”
“You promised you’d watch how I grow. Where do you think you’re running away to...?!”
I moved beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders so she could lean against me.
Then I forced open her weakened mouth with my right hand.
And shoved my fingers inside.
For the first time, I felt the soft, wet sensation of her tongue.
Immediately afterward, her teeth bit down surprisingly hard on my fingers.
As though the hand forcing itself into her mouth disgusted her unbearably.
But only for a moment.
“You’re not allowed to die yet.”
At those words, the tension slowly faded from her jaw.
“If you die here... that would be too pathetic.”
Once her teeth loosened, I pushed my fingers deeper down her throat and forced her to vomit.
I turned her head sideways so nothing blocked her airway.
“Ugh!!”
Vivian squeezed her eyes shut and vomited violently.
Tears gathered and spilled from the corners of her scrunched eyes.
“Ugh!!”
Trying to vomit while struggling to breathe only made her suffer more.
Every time she gagged, the color drained further from her face.
But I had no intention of stopping.
I moved my hand even more ruthlessly, without gentleness, forcing her to keep vomiting.
I didn’t care if everyone here witnessed her humiliating state.
As long as she survived, that was enough for me.
Meanwhile, the maids rushed over carrying basins filled with water.
I handed them the pouch of charcoal powder from my back pocket.
“Mix it into the water. Then pour it into cups.”
“Y-Yes...!”
They immediately began preparing charcoal water just as I ordered.
Watching them, I spoke to Vivian.
“Rondor. From now on, until every basin is empty, you’re going to keep drinking and vomiting.”
“...”
“Even if you hate it, I’ll force it down your throat. So don’t resist. Understood?”
“...”
Vivian looked up at me.
Her dizzy gaze couldn’t even properly focus on my eyes.
“I asked if you understand...!”
As her poisoning worsened, my panic grew too.
And right after I raised my voice—
-Nod.
Vivian weakly nodded her agreement.
That alone calmed my desperate heart slightly.
Using her agreement as permission, I accepted a cup of charcoal water from a maid.
“If you can’t see, then feel it. I’m holding the cup to your lips. Drink everything inside.”
Vivian’s body leaned heavily against me.
Despite her dizziness, she slowly opened her mouth.
As I tilted the cup, Vivian struggled to swallow the bitter water.
Her hands clutched tightly onto my clothes.