A Dose of Reality
There is a saying: unintentional intent. It refers to the mindset of knowingly committing an act that will lead to a bad outcome. "Unintentional" means fully recognizing the possibility that a certain result might occur. "Intent" means deliberately performing an action to bring about that specific result. It's a ridiculous phrase—at least, to Luin, who moves forward even while knowing everyone will hate him for it.
Just leave me alone.
...
I'll just watch like a totem pole, so stop giving me orders... Why do you keep bossing me around? You drag someone here who clearly doesn't want to come, and then—
Inside the inn's dining hall, with the Holy Sword Scramble only one day away, Luin sat alone at his table, swallowing his drink while watching the lively group at the next table.
"So... Yuria, is there someone you like?"
"...Well, that's..."
"Come on, tell us! It's just us girls here anyway."
"What about the Student Council President?"
"When would I ever have time for romance? I'm already dying just trying to stamp documents."
"President, your mood seems better these days."
"...Does it show that much?"
Shyartia. Hanna. Yuria. And the other female officers. Luin watched them chatting about one another in the crowded space, hiding the envy in his eyes. Especially the sight of Yuria talking so comfortably with them—it stung. Once, the seat beside Yuria had been his. Now he couldn't even approach her, let alone sit next to her, and the irritation only grew.
This is bullshit.
Yuria was getting better and better. She shone so brightly that it made his own regression look pathetic. Far more than when she had been bullied by Olivia at the academy. It seemed she had given up on becoming someone loved by everyone, and even given up on becoming someone who tried to understand everyone. Of course, her current self looked better than before.
"Stop teasing me...!"
"Look how embarrassed she is...!"
"...I'll get angry!"
Stuck in a moment from the past, Luin wore a wistful expression as he watched Yuria laugh. She's become so much brighter. The angelic image of her endlessly offering love even to the students who ostracized her seemed to be fading. She was still beautiful and kind, but the indiscriminate kindness of the past had long since disappeared. Yes—like she was starting to resemble that red-haired bastard.
"Fuck."
Luin sighed as he stared at the mountain of flab piled on his stomach. His body and mind were both completely broken, and the sight of himself was unbearably pathetic. What kind of confidence had he possessed back then?
"..."
What kind of confidence had made him lie about looking inside himself? He had only ever been an idiot who looked at the surface. He had liked her. He had really liked her. And the one who had driven that relationship into ruin was none other than himself. The realization made Luin squeeze his eyes shut in anger.
"Pathetic. So fucking pathetic."
Ever since Hans had stolen his magic, his shattered confidence showed no signs of recovering.
"Is this how that bastard felt?"
Suddenly thinking of Hans's feelings, Luin lowered his head deeply. Now he could somewhat understand why Hans had said, You don't know how I feel. It was absurd that he was having these thoughts because of the very enemy who had taken his magic. Not that any of it mattered anymore. He had strutted around thinking he was so great, but now he was nothing but trash with nothing to be proud of. He should have known this day would come.
Luin sighed as he looked at the empty seat beside him.
"Haa..."
He couldn't do anything. He couldn't even use magic properly. The only thing he was good at now was disappointing the old man who believed in him. Love. Pride. Fuck. He had no idea how to fix a life that had broken beyond repair.
"..."
Even joining this ridiculous journey to obtain the Holy Sword had only happened because the old man had forced him into it.
I don't want to.
This will be a good opportunity for you.
You're probably regretting it too, old man. You should've taken on another disciple instead of someone like me.
...
Ah, there is one. That Syuen or whatever the old man dotes on.
Luin.
I don't know. Do whatever you want. This is so fucking annoying.
Bang!
Luin's self-reproach had continued for quite some time when, with a loud bang, a man pulled out the chair across from him and sat down. "Who the hell are you?"
The man ignored Luin's words and began gulping down the drink on the table. Once the glass was empty in an instant, he wiped his mouth, let out a satisfied "Kuh," and lowered his head.
"..."
Luin narrowed his eyes at the man. He wasn't in a good mood. Just as he was about to tell the guy he had picked the wrong person to mess with, he saw the man's face and shut his mouth.
"It's me."
"...Senior Director?"
"Call me 'sir.' Academy troublemaker."
Malik, seated across from Luin, ran a hand through his hair and glanced at the bottles piled on the table. "Drink in moderation. We're departing at dawn tomorrow. It would be troublesome if you caused any problems."
"And what about you?"
"I have this." As if he had been waiting for the question, Malik pulled out a bottle of Mandrake hangover remedy from his coat and showed it to Luin. "What the hell is that?"
"Mandrake hangover remedy."
"Ha...?"
"It's the best among all the hangover cures on the market. Made from one hundred percent extract of mandrake grown in the polar regions, maximizing the detoxification effect..."
"Did you come here to sell something?"
"Ahem."
At the blunt reply, Malik tucked the remedy back into his inner pocket with an awkward smile. "If you want, I can sell it to you for one gold."
"...You really did come to sell something."
"I'm not the only one who bought it. Yuria, Shyartia, Hanna. Rather than waking up tomorrow as corpses drowning in hangovers, investing one gold..."
"Shut up. If you came to sell something, get lost. I don't even want to put that disgusting stuff in my mouth."
"I see."
Malik nodded and looked at Luin.
"..."
"What..."
"..."
Luin frowned at Malik, who showed no sign of leaving. He had told him off that much, yet the man was still sitting there like a pest.
"Why aren't you leaving?"
"Why should I move? The seat next to you is completely empty."
"Haa..."
"Who did you learn that sighing habit from?"
"What, are you going to expel me or something?"
Malik shook his head. "I was planning to fire the professor who taught you that."
"..."
"Because a professor who teaches strange things at the Academy of Learning is worse than a child."
"Fuck, there's not a single normal person here... I should just leave the academy."
Luin drained his glass with an irritated expression.
"You've got a nasty personality."
"Mind your own business. You're the only one who doesn't know how nasty my personality is."
Malik chuckled and poured more alcohol into Luin's empty glass. "Hey, kid."
"...What?"
"I'm talking about you. You little brat whose blood hasn't even dried yet."
Luin glared at Malik for calling him a "brat." Being treated like a child was one of the things he hated most. If he still had his magic, he would have blasted the Senior Director away without a second thought. Clenching his fists, Luin stared Malik down. "Don't treat me like a kid. It's fucking annoying."
"Even the way you talk is completely childish."
"...Seriously, you—!"
Malik spoke in a cold voice as he watched Luin try to stand up. "Sit down."
"..."
"I said sit before I crush you."
He meant it. The killing intent leaking from Malik's eyes was filled with the clear will to crush Luin regardless of whether he was a student or not. Intimidated by that gaze, Luin swallowed hard.
"This is so fucking annoying."
Luin let out a deep sigh and sat back down. "Just say what you came to say and get it over with."
"Fine."
Seeing the now-docile Luin, Malik smiled in satisfaction. "I met a certain academy student a year ago."
"..."
"He was pathetic. Had nothing to his name, yet his pride was enormous. He didn't know his place and went around lecturing others."
"So you crushed him?"
"Of course not."
Malik let out a dry laugh and refilled his glass. "If I had wanted to crush that kid, I wouldn't be sitting here right now."
"...What?"
"He was an incredible person. So incredible and strong that even I, who had looked down on him, ended up asking to learn from him."
"...Hey."
"Thanks to that kid, a lot of things changed."
Malik lightly ignored Luin's sharp gaze and looked around the tavern. At the splendid chandelier, at Shyartia smiling as she talked, and at his younger sister Hanna with a gentle look in his eyes.
"He was someone worth looking down on others."
"..."
"He had every right to act arrogant and every qualification to lecture others."
"..."
"Unlike a certain someone sitting in front of me who only throws tantrums, he was someone who followed the proper path and brought benefits to others."
Luin immediately realized who Malik was talking about.
This bastard and that bastard, they're all only talking about that bastard.
The person he meant was Ricardo. It pissed him off. Hearing praise for the name of the person he hated most—the one who had taken everything from him—filled Luin's heart with disgust. Yet the words kept coming.
"But what about you?"
Luin couldn't bring himself to answer Malik's question.
"You have nothing you're good at, yet you stubbornly cling to your useless pride."
"..."
"At a time when you should be running toward an important goal, you're just drowning yourself in alcohol."
"..."
"A guy who shows zero effort is ruining the team's atmosphere. What exactly makes you so great?"
Malik stared straight at Luin. "If you lack qualifications, shouldn't you at least try to obtain them?"
"..."
"If you have even the slightest conscience, shouldn't you at least show some willingness to try?"
"Shut up. What the hell do you know?"
"I know. I know very well. I've met plenty of idiots like you."
"Do you want to die?"
"The Tower Master begged me to include you in the party, and this is what I get?"
"..."
"Disrupting the atmosphere."
"..."
"Lowering everyone's morale—what kind of mindset is that?"
"..."
"The Tower Master clearly said that if I took you along, you'd pull your own weight."
"..."
"He said you were prickly but would definitely be helpful, bowed his head to a mere part-time director like me, and yet here you are. What exactly are you doing?"
"..."
"Do you really think you're that amazing?"
Malik glared coldly at Luin, who merely shrugged his shoulders. "Are you such a great person that you're above even the Tower Master's bowed head?"
"..."
"I don't see it that way."
"..."
"If you have no confidence, then pack your bags and get lost right now. The current you is nothing but a parasite that only brings negative influence to this place."
"..."
"I'm treating you nicely because of the Tower Master's request, but don't delude yourself into thinking that favorable view will last forever."
"..."
Malik looked around once more, scanning the laughing, drinking people, and spoke. "Right now, do all of them look like they're just laughing to you?"
"..."
"Of course they do. With that dull head of yours, you wouldn't notice that they're trying to shake off their fear through conversation."
As if agreeing with Malik's words, Shyartia's hands were trembling. She was forcing a smile as she spoke, but her shoulders were weighed down by the heavy burden of responsibility.
Th-that's why...
...Haa
...Haa...
"Right now, you're nothing but a child."
"..."
"A child who only knows how to throw tantrums."
Countless blades of words flew and embedded themselves into Luin's chest. Malik delivered his final words.
"This is the last time."
"..."
"If you act like that even once more, Tower Master's direct disciple or not, I'll crush you."
Luin kept his head lowered at Malik's words. Clenching his fists. Feeling shame and humiliation. He could only hang his head.
*
Late at night, Malik, who had come out to smoke, let out a deep sigh and spoke quietly. "Are you there?"
"..."
"I know you're there, so come out."
As Malik's voice, carrying a cold sigh, spread across the dark night sky, a man walked out with a dry laugh, appearing before Malik's eyes.
"How did you know?"
Seeing the man's face, Malik smiled and shook his head. "I figured you'd be here."
"...I'm not some god who appears when called."
"Weren't you?"
"Pardon...?"
"Puhaha! I'm joking."
Red hair. Black butler's uniform. At Malik's strangely perceptive words, I scratched my head awkwardly and walked over to stand beside him. I glanced at Malik and spoke. "I heard everything earlier."
"What did you hear?"
"Your praise for me. I didn't expect you to think so highly of me. I'm touched."
"I only spoke the truth."
"Do you not know the word 'embarrassment,' sir?"
"What is that?"
I let out a dry laugh at Malik's nonchalant attitude even after saying something so shameless. That wasn't the reaction I had expected. Smiling faintly, I spoke to Malik. "Will it be alright?"
"What are you talking about this time?"
"You spoke quite harshly. You really laid into him."
"Haha..."
Malik let out a dry laugh and exhaled white smoke. "I had to speak harshly, didn't I?"
"..."
"Only then will that kid become stronger."
"That's true as well."
Malik glanced at me sideways. "What do you think?"
"About what?"
"Do you think that kid will show up tomorrow?"
"Hmm... Well, given how completely shattered his mentality is, I don't think he'll come."
"Hmm..."
"Still, I think..."
I smiled as I glanced toward the lit window of Luin's room.
"He'll come. After all, he's the Tower Master's disciple."
"Is that so."
"That's why you said all that, isn't it, sir?"
Malik let out a dry laugh and nodded. "I think so too."
I stretched and began speaking to Malik. "Shall we move on to the main topic now?"
It was time to start planning the operation.
*
At that same moment, Luin was sitting at his desk, gritting his teeth.
"Damn it..."
The words he had heard today were, for Luin—
"You can do it if you try...!"
—signaling the beginning of change.