Dreams in the Darkness
Mikhail dreamed inside the collapsed tunnel. A dream of being with him. She dreamed of him smiling at her on a lush green field, sharing peaceful conversations. How's the weather today? What happened? The talk was trivial, yet the dream felt impossibly sweet. She wished that moment could last forever.
—Hahaha! Hurry up and follow me!
At the sight of Ricardo waving her over with that bright grin, Mikhail smiled. Even if it was only a dream. Even if everything would turn to dust, she was happy to have this dream in her final moments…
—Rustle.
The soft sound stirred Mikhail awake. Her eyes slowly opened.
"You're awake?"
"Agh…!"
"Don't move. I stopped the explosion, but I couldn't fully block the impact."
Pain lanced through her like shattered glass. Her legs, arms, and chest throbbed so badly she couldn't move. Mikhail squeezed her drowsy eyes shut, then forced them open again.
Where… am I?
Darkness surrounded her. The ceiling hung so low it nearly touched her face; the space was barely big enough for two people. And there, smiling brightly in the gloom, was a man.
Ricardo.
The man she thought was dead was burying something in the dirt, wearing a small smile as he greeted her.
"You're awake?"
"..."
"I was starting to worry you'd died in your sleep, Miha— I mean, Miss Misa."
Mikhail stared at him with an awkward expression.
"..."
It didn't feel real. The sight before her, the heavy scent of earth in her nose—everything told her this was reality, yet she couldn't make sense of Ricardo smiling so calmly at her. After everything that had happened, after all the pain she'd caused him, how could he still smile?
"Ah… ugh…"
Words wouldn't come. She didn't know what to say or how to begin. Mikhail forced her lips open, terrified.
The first thing that came out was, "Is this a dream?"
Ricardo turned away without a word, pinched his own cheek, and smiled.
"Hurts, right?"
Mikhail nodded.
"Then it can't be a dream."
She nodded again, dazedly rubbing the cheek he'd pinched.
"It hurts."
"Did I pinch too hard?"
She shook her head.
"No. It's just… my heart hurts."
Tears welled in her eyes. Relief that he was alive, gratitude that he'd survived—it crashed over her like a wave.
"Hic…"
She couldn't stop the tears. She was truly grateful.
"Hic… I'm sorry."
Grateful that he was alive.
"Why are you crying…!"
"I'm sorry. The tears just won't stop…"
"No… wait, hold on…"
She knew she shouldn't approach him, knew she'd hurt him, yet she still wanted to say something—anything. The thought made her chest ache.
"I'm truly sorry."
She was sorry. What right did she have to speak to him? What words could possibly comfort him? She knew it was impossible, yet she hated how cowardly her heart still moved, how desperate she was to know him, to ask about his life, to learn more about the man standing before her.
"...I'm sorry."
She knew it was shameless, but she wanted to be selfish anyway.
"I… I'm really sorry…"
"This is awkward."
"And… thank you for staying alive…"
Unable to contain her emotions at seeing the person she'd sworn never to lose again, Mikhail pulled Ricardo into a tight embrace.
"Hic… hic…"
"Why are you crying? You just came back from the dead."
"Waaah… hic… huu…"
After a long while, Mikhail's tears finally slowed. Ricardo's gentle pats helped her steady herself. He wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled softly.
"Were you very surprised?"
"...Yes."
"Because you thought I was dead?"
She nodded vigorously.
"If I died that easily, I wouldn't even qualify as a Sword Master. Look."
Ricardo pulled aside his torn shirt to show the healed wound.
"See? Nothing there."
"Hic…"
"Why are you crying again?!"
"The scar… the scar…"
Mikhail pointed at the faint mark with a trembling finger, her eyes reddening once more.
"Huu… huu…"
Ricardo looked flustered and quickly covered himself.
"This is from… an old injury. I lived a rough life, you know…"
"Because of me…"
"No, that's not—! Well… actually, yes, but—"
"I knew it…"
"Ah, no, that's not what I meant—"
Seeing his panic only made Mikhail look more miserable. Every wound felt like it was her fault. The thought made her chest ache even more. She lowered her head and rubbed her eyes.
"No, were you always like this?"
She nodded.
"At the academy, I have to act like a man… to seem strong."
"Hic… At the academy… because I'm pretending to be a man…"
"Good grief."
Ricardo sighed and looked at her.
"Why are you disguising yourself as a man in the first place? You could just live openly as a woman."
"It's because… Lee Min-hyuk thinks I'm a man. I thought if he was still alive, he'd look for me that way."
"I see…"
Ricardo pressed a hand to his forehead, muttering under his breath.
At this point, isn't the novel's protagonist me instead of Yuria?
The extra named Ricardo, who didn't even appear in a single line of the novel, hid his flustered expression and spoke to the tear-streaked Mikhail.
"Stop."
"...Hic. Sniff…"
"That's enough crying."
"Hic… Okay."
"Good. Now let's talk seriously."
Ricardo looked up at the blocked ceiling and addressed her.
"We're trapped."
"..."
"I stopped the explosion, but we're buried deeper than I thought. Digging out will be difficult. I called a friend, but it's someone you know too…"
"Hic…"
"Why are you crying again?!"
"It's because of me…"
"Well, yes, but still—"
"Waaah…"
"What now?!"
"My name…"
Mikhail, who apparently had more tears than expected, was pouring them out as if a dam had broken.
"My name… isn't Mikhail."
"Ah. Then Miss Misa."
"Hehe… You called me Misa…"
"Why is your face red?"
"...Hehe."
Ricardo sighed and shook his head at her bewildering behavior. He wondered if a falling brick had hit her head hard.
"Huu…"
Suddenly, Mikhail leaned in close. Ricardo jerked back in surprise.
"W-what are you doing?"
"I want to check if you're hurt… Sniff."
"I already showed you."
"You might be hurt on the inside."
"...What?"
"...Yes."
Ricardo frowned at the serious nonsense coming from her mouth.
"Miss Mikhail. I mean, Miss Misa."
She nodded.
"Did a brick hit your head, or is Yuria still alive—no, I just asked about that, so that's not it… Anyway, are you all right? Mentally speaking…"
"Sniff… Yes?"
"No, don't start crying again. It's not that you're weird, it's just that I can't get used to this."
"Am I that strange?"
"Yes."
"Then…!"
"Yes."
"Should I die…?"
At the sight of her serious expression, as if ready to commit seppuku, Ricardo waved his hands frantically.
"Why does the conversation keep going there?!"
"I'm a burden. I thought paying with my life would be better."
"Haa… This is difficult. Really."
"...Should I die after all?"
"Don't say that! And why are you suddenly using formal speech?"
"I always speak politely."
"Then why didn't you with me?"
"..."
Unable to answer, Mikhail smiled awkwardly and lowered her head.
"I really should die."
She had somehow gotten hold of Tyrving and was staring seriously at the blade's tip. Ricardo waved his hands again.
"Talk! Let's just talk first."
She nodded.
"Today's been full of surprises. Honestly, I was worried about how I'd face you, Miss Mikhail—Miss Misa."
"..."
"I thought it would be awkward…"
"Sniff…"
"Stop!"
She nodded quietly.
Ricardo smiled awkwardly at her unexpected reaction.
"Anyway, I'm sorry for surprising you."
"No… I'm the one who's sorry."
She clutched his sleeve tightly.
"I know there are still many things I need to apologize for, but… I really wanted to say sorry for today."
"You'll have to keep apologizing."
"...I know."
Mikhail's sad expression hardened into something resolute.
"I'll keep doing it. Until I die… or until you push me away."
"..."
"The wounds I gave you… don't fade so easily."
Ricardo closed his eyes briefly, then forced a smile. He didn't know how to resolve everything, but for now, this was all he could do. He couldn't interrogate her or scold her. This was enough for the moment.
Seeing his silence, Mikhail spoke carefully.
"Lee…"
"Lee?"
"Lee… Min-hyuk…"
"...Your pronunciation is still terrible. I taught you so many times."
"...It's hard to say."
"Lee. Min. Hyuk."
"Lee… Min-hyuk?"
"Good grief…"
Only after hearing his amused sigh did Mikhail manage a small smile. There was only one person in the world who would correct her pronunciation like that. Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked at him.
"Hey, Lee Min-hyuk."
"Call me Ricardo."
"Then, Ricardo…"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me…?"
Ricardo smiled without answering.
"You knew I was Mikhail…"
"..."
"If you'd told me, I wouldn't have hurt you. No… maybe I still would have. I'm a terrible person, after all…"
Ricardo cut her off. He didn't want to hear any more self-loathing.
In a quiet voice, he said, "Because you looked happy."
It was a lie. He knew she wouldn't believe talk of possession or status windows. It was taboo, too.
"You seemed to be living well enough without me, so I stayed away. You were doing fine on your own, Miss Misa."
"..."
"Just like you wanted to succeed as Mikhail, I wanted to succeed in my own way before approaching you."
"...Still!"
"And then the distance grew."
"..."
"Resentment built up."
Mikhail clenched her fists. It was true—she'd caused irreversible wounds. There was still so much left between them: things buried in their hearts, apologies owed, their relationship. There was no need to rush. What mattered was that they'd taken the first step. She didn't expect the knot to untangle all at once, but if she could offer even a small excuse…
"I…"
That alone was enough for her.
"I did terrible things to you."
"..."
"I trampled on the people you cared about."
"..."
"I ignored the path you walked and the advice you gave. Maybe… no, I hated you, Ricardo."
"That part was partly my fault too, so I understand—"
"No. I'm the terrible one. It's my fault."
Mikhail shook her head, refusing his words. No matter what anyone said, this stubbornness was a weight she had to carry alone.
"So… I'll keep apologizing. Until I become a better person, until someday…"
Just as her true feelings were about to spill out—
—Rumble.
"Huh?"
The floor trembled. Ricardo reached out to shield Mikhail. She wouldn't be able to withstand the shock in her current state.
"This is dangerous—"
—Squish.
"Hm?"
Young lady? No, a bit smaller…
The soft sensation beneath his hand made any indecent thoughts vanish the moment a small sound escaped someone's lips.
"Ah…"
"Ah…"
Neither of them could lift their heads.