Frozen Favorability -2-
Yuria's eyes widened as she stared at the man before her. Then she shook her head.
"No..."
His words were just empty flattery that sounded nice. She figured he was saying it again just to lift her spirits.
"What's pretty about me?"
Nothing about her was pretty. Not her inner self, not her outer self. Nothing was okay. Every time she looked in the mirror, the flaws seemed to multiply, carving wounds into her heart. She thought she wasn't pretty because there were so many people prettier and more beautiful than her.
So Yuria shook her head and denied Ricardo's words. I'm not pretty.
"What's pretty about me? I'm stupid and dumb... You'd be better off calling a rock pretty."
If even she thought she was ugly, how much more obvious must it be to Ricardo, who was looking right at her? With fear in her voice, Yuria spoke cautiously.
"My hair color is like a faded cockscomb flower, so pale, and I get irritated over nothing every day, suspicious, crying. Nothing about me is pretty. Even I can see how many people are prettier than me—why say things like that?"
Ricardo, perched on the railing, gave a small smile and gazed steadily at Yuria. He calmly smoothed back his hair tousled by the northern wind, his serene eyes carefully taking her in.
"Hmm..."
With a soft hum, Ricardo's low voice resonated. He posed a small question as he spoke to her.
"Is that so? I don't think that way. Strange."
His voice carried a hint of excitement as he took a step closer to Yuria. He crossed the line he'd drawn himself, as if it weren't even there.
Yuria shook her head in denial.
"You're lying."
"Am I?"
She wanted to tell him not to come closer, but this infuriating man showed no sign of stopping. It felt like he was knocking on the door of her heart—knock knock.
Why...?
If it were her, she wouldn't give someone like herself the time of day. The question why kept pounding at her chest, demanding she open the door.
He was reaching out to her, the one who'd misunderstood him and hated him. Ricardo's gentle voice pierced her too sharply. She'd prefer if he cursed her out. If he complained about how much she'd made him suffer, her heart might feel lighter.
Why...?
Why didn't he expect anything in return? Yuria's chest ached.
As always, Ricardo spoke to her in that sweet, honeyed voice.
"I like Yuria's pink hair, though. Others might call it faded cockscomb, but to me, it's like a flower just blooming—I love that about your hair."
"..."
"And I love your pink eyes. They're like clear, pure gems that comfort me without a word."
And... Ricardo continued his praises with a gentle smile, turning the insecurities Yuria hated about herself into beautiful metaphors. He was telling her, This is how I see you.
His words flowed on endlessly, as if stating the obvious.
Why...?
The more his praises continued, the less the rising question in Yuria's heart would settle. Her heart thumped thump thump, the why tearing at her chest and summoning waves of guilt and sorrow.
He knew everything, bore it all alone, and his uprightness squeezed her heart.
"And Yuria has big breasts... Oh. That sounded pervy. Sorry."
Yuria clenched her fists tight as she watched Ricardo cover his mouth with his hand.
"...Aren't you resentful?"
With teary eyes questioning him—What?—she let the doubt spill from inside her.
"Why... why say things like that? I haven't done anything for you, so why speak so kindly?"
"..."
"I... I get it now. Why you treated me that way. I still don't understand everything, but I know why you acted cold to me."
Overwhelmed by surging emotions, Yuria bowed her head and spoke to him.
"But..."
She really didn't get it.
"But! I don't understand why you're treating me so well now. You helped me yourself, yet you took all my hate—why be so good to me...?!"
"Aren't you resentful?"
If it were her.
"If it were me!"
She could never do it, even if she died. She'd push away out of fear, just to survive herself.
"I'd hate you to death, find you loathsome. Why make that face? Why?!"
Ricardo gave a bitter smile as he looked at Yuria. He silently pressed his lips together, gazing wistfully at her clenched fists.
"I..."
Ricardo opened his mouth softly.
"That's how I see it."
He stated his thoughts in a calm voice.
"If there's a good person, there needs to be a bad one to make them shine brighter, right?"
"..."
"If everyone's mediocrely good, won't the truly good ones suffer? Since I'm going to be bad anyway, better to do what I want. I guess I held back my words."
"If even one person understands... it'd make me less lonely, a bit less hard."
"Hmm... Yeah. I was too rigid, didn't think that far. I worried my existence might be poison instead."
Sometimes.
"Sometimes I think that. That I might be a hindrance. And in a way, you're right."
Yuria couldn't understand Ricardo's foolish kindness. But he stubbornly tried to color her with it anyway, as if it was okay if she didn't get it yet. His deep, rich red hue began to seep into her.
Ricardo's color reached out to Yuria.
"That's why I like you, Yuria. No matter how unfair or sad, you're steadfastly good, sometimes a pushover, sacrificing yourself—it's so cool. I could never do it, even if I died."
"..."
"Well, the biggest reason is that you're pretty."
'Haha, too direct?' Ricardo chuckled softly, carefully stepping down from the railing. Leaving footprints in the snow falling on the balcony, he approached Yuria and gently touched her cheek.
"Don't cry."
"Hic..."
"I'm keeping my promise."
"I couldn't keep anything..."
"It was a one-sided promise from the start."
A promise made without refusal.
—I'll protect you.
Yuria burst into tears seeing Ricardo still remember that promise.
Why hadn't she believed him? Why hadn't she thought a little more? If she'd opened her heart just a bit, trusted as much as she loved him, she wouldn't have felt this pain.
She blamed herself for crushing the budding flower in her heart and cried.
"Are you... okay?"
Yuria looked at Ricardo, her eyes full of affection as memories of hurting him in the past surfaced.
Recalling the wounds she'd inflicted herself.
"I hurt you... are you really okay?"
Ricardo nodded.
"I'm fine."
Yuria asked again. This time, remembering how she'd hurt his heart, she asked with precious care.
"Because of me, you felt resentful and exhausted... really okay?"
"Of course. I could do it a hundred times."
"Because of me..."
Yuria's apologies continued. She kept apologizing and crying endlessly, as if until the northern snow piled up, asking his feelings over and over until there was nothing left to apologize for. So that if he voiced even one grudge, she could fix it. Laden with fear and sorrow, she asked.
And Ricardo gave the same steady answer.
"I'm truly fine."
Many stories rode the northern winds. The three hours locked in the closet. Why he'd lingered in her shoe rack. Revenge on false rumors and those she'd hated.
Ricardo told her everything without hiding.
—I put all the thumbtacks in Kyle's drawer.
—...Really?
—Yeah, even kindly labeled them with my name. You should've seen that woman's face back then, but you only saw the Young Lady.
—Olivia?
—Yeah. When the Young Lady got annoyed... whew.
Pfft. A smile bloomed on her lips.
Perhaps the conversation she'd longed for most, missed the most, was unfolding in her reality. Not some grand reward, but these little things—she'd yearned for this. Yuria clenched her fists and looked at Ricardo.
"So..."
Under the sky shedding white snow, strangely, flower petals seemed to scatter. Pink petals riding a gentle spring breeze, knocking at her heart.
Strangely enough. Yuria felt warmth melting in her heart. Selfish as she was, foolish as she was, she thought of asking for one more chance at a promise.
Gazing at Ricardo's profile as he leaned against the wall, she said.
"Ricardo."
"Yes."
"Can you make one promise?"
"What kind?"
Yuria smiled faintly and buried her face in her knees.
"A promise that won't surprise you."
"Pardon?"
*Smack.*
Yuria grabbed Ricardo's sleeve and planted a small kiss on his cheek. Smiling softly with newfound certainty that she wouldn't waver, she said carefully.
"Promise made."
Ricardo touched his cheek in bewilderment and looked at her.
"Uh...?"
"Seal of the promise."
"The promise...?"
"My one-sided promise."
A promise never to waver again.
Ricardo looked at her with trembling eyes and said, blurting out something he shouldn't in this mood, with an awkward smile.
"Um... just so you know, I believe in polygamy..."
"Hey!"
He really was a man oblivious to the mood. Yuria smiled as she looked at Ricardo.
The past restriction 'Favorability Limit' has been removed.
(!) Yuria's favorability has risen.