The One Who Sees Within -2-
Yuria's heart was crumbling. From the moment she saw her transformed face, it had been breaking and shattering over and over again.
When she woke that morning, Yuria thought she was dreaming. She never imagined something like this would happen on the night of the ball. She'd greeted the morning with her usual cheer, planning to rise earlier than normal to get herself all dolled up prettily. But everything had gone wrong.
Yuria was mortified. Showing her changed self to everyone felt utterly humiliating. After calming her mind, she agonized over it endlessly. What dress should she wear? She kept mulling it over and over. Should she go with the one Ricardo gave her? Or the one from Ruin? No matter what she chose, she knew her ruined face would draw scorn.
She'd thought this time would be different. Clutching at straws, Yuria finally picked a dress.
"Yeah... this one."
After much deliberation, she chose the light green dress Ruin had gifted her. If she wore the one from Ruin, maybe he'd recognize her. She desperately hoped at least one person would see through the change. She didn't want to spend the ball alone and lonely again.
If Ruin recognized her, they could talk about this sudden problem together, and it might offer some small comfort for her aching heart. Ruin had said he saw the inner self, after all. Believing in him, Yuria made her choice.
The evening before, Ruin had told her he looked at the person, not the face. Even if her appearance turned ugly, he'd definitely recognize her—she clung to those words.
Instead of the pure white dress from Ricardo, Yuria donned Ruin's light green one and headed to the ballroom. She regretted not wearing Ricardo's, but right now, she wanted someone to help her wrestle with the crisis at hand.
The path to the ballroom felt endlessly long. Students passing by glanced at her face and whispered. Laughter shook their shoulders as they mocked her mercilessly. The scorn felt colder than any she'd heard before. Her steps toward the venue were nothing short of hellish.
Overwhelmed by tangled thoughts that choked her breath, Yuria sat on a bench, wondering if she should just skip it. Attendance at the academy ball was mandatory for students, but maybe if she explained her situation, they'd understand?
But Yuria was timid. What if they didn't? Already under disciplinary probation, causing another scene might bring harsher punishment. Worrying like this, she forced her leaden legs to move.
One step. Two steps. The weight of the air between each felt unbearable. Still, Yuria pressed on, clinging to one hope.
'Ruin will recognize me.'
She believed in Ruin. She trusted his confident words and wore the dress he'd given her. He had to see her.
Entering the ballroom, a barrage of scorn targeted her.
"Dressing up when she's that ugly."
"Pfft. That's just... "
"Looks like she borrowed her mom's clothes."
Just one change in appearance, and people's attitudes turned ice-cold. Everyone spat abuse at Yuria.
"What the hell is that girl?"
"She's hideous."
"Recommend reincarnation."
No one recognized her injustice. Not even her close friends. Not the junior who'd thanked her for healing during a group project. All sent mocking laughs and turned away.
Yuria's stomach churned. She couldn't understand their behavior—yet somehow she did—and it made her nauseous. Every conversation sounded like condemnation of her ugly face. Every gaze bored into her.
Her head spun. Nausea threatened to overwhelm her. She'd thought she could just close her eyes once and endure, steel her heart and push through. But now at the ball, she realized those were empty comforts.
Yuria bowed her head and bolted to a corner of the ballroom. She wanted to live. Any more stares, and she'd collapse—or go mad. She ran.
Maybe hiding from their eyes would ease her heart. Out of sight, she could escape the mocking voices. Panting raggedly, trying to catch her breath, she spotted a familiar friend's face approaching slowly—and sighed in relief.
'Ruin.'
Ruin was coming toward her in the corner. Each unhurried step brought him closer. Yuria felt grateful.
'Good thing I wore the dress he gave me.'
Sorry to Ricardo, but Ruin recognizing her was a relief. Being alone and hidden in this vast ballroom would be utter misery. Things felt a bit better. She'd made more friends than last year. Even if some were still awkward, she had people to laugh and chat with. Maybe this academy ball would go the way she'd hoped. Watching Ruin approach, Yuria's eyes welled up with emotion.
'He recognized me.'
Hands clasped, head bowed, she yearned to tell him everything. How she woke up with a changed face, how they should find a fix. She wanted to pour out this suffocating secret to a close friend—one she couldn't share with others. So Yuria pinned great hopes on Ruin, wishing he'd hurry.
Thud.
One step.
Thud.
Two steps.
Pause.
Ruin stood before her now. Swallowing her surging emotions, Yuria called his name.
"Ruin."
"Hey."
"Can't you change clothes or something?"
Crushing disappointment hit her. It felt like the world collapsed. The Ruin who'd promised to see her inner self. The one so sure just last night—now cold and changed. It was utterly alien to her.
"Huh?"
"This dress doesn't suit you at all, fuck."
He'd insisted it would look perfect, begged her to wear it—and now the opposite? Yuria couldn't believe it.
She'd believed him. Believed he'd recognize her. But Ruin spat cold words at her.
Inside, she screamed denial.
'You said it'd suit me.''You begged me to wear it.''You told me not to wear Ricardo's. So I did... why can't you see me?'
Yuria clenched her fists, betrayal crashing over her from Ruin's lies. She knew why he didn't recognize her—but still, still! She hadn't expected this iciness.
Not even asking her name, just hurling cold barbs—Ruin's attitude plunged her self-esteem into the abyss. His stubbornness was shattering her.
Even if she revealed her name. Even pounding her chest in frustration. His treatment didn't change. It was like he'd force her to change if she didn't comply.
You see the inner self, huh? Recognize me even if my face changes? All just sweet talk?
Tears kept spilling foolishly. Yuria bowed her head and burst into sobs.
Ruin sighed at her bowed, crying figure.
"Don't cry."
"..."
"Don't cry—it's annoying seeing an ugly girl bawl."
He'd once said her tears hurt his heart, promised to make her smile, begged to stay friends. Now he forgot it all, repeating harsh words coldly.
The world darkened. Her vision blurred to black, silence ringing in her ears like a quiet lull.
'Why do I have to go through this...?'
Misery always struck her alone. Those who inflicted it chattered on smugly. Disgust welled up. She'd tried so hard. Was wanting to laugh with everyone so wrong?
Yuria bowed her head and sobbed. She wanted to give up, start over. Betraying friends. Girls mocking her pain. Reset everything, begin anew—that urge surged just as—
BAM!
"Mm."
Bathed in the ballroom's brilliant chandelier light, a man approached. Always so relaxed, full of playful mischief. And her friend. Yuria panicked. She'd never dreamed Ricardo would attend the ball.
She hastily covered her face and shrank back. She didn't want him seeing her pathetic state. She knew he'd fail to recognize her like Ruin—but she didn't want to show him this.
'Don't come.''Please don't...''Go away.'
Footsteps drew near her bowed head.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
They stopped at one spot, unmoving. Relief mixed with tangled sorrow burst like a dam.
A warm hand gently rested on her head. So warm. Incredibly so. Cozy and comforting, like solace for all her pain.
A gentle voice floated down, warm as ever, right to her ear.
"Today too, you are beautiful."
Ricardo smiled down at her—the self no one else recognized.