Clumsy Nursing
Olivia, lost in the sudden appearance of the blue window, barely clung to her fraying sanity at the sound of Ricardo's faint, delirious groan.
"Haa... haa..."
His ragged breathing, rough and wheezing from the pain, reached her ears softly. Olivia flailed helplessly, unsure what to do. She shook her head in panic, staring at her trembling hands in turn.
"That..."
Olivia was scared. Ricardo, who always showed her only his healthy side, was suffering. The eerie words of the blue window frightened her, but even more terrifying was the simple fact that Ricardo was in pain.
He always flashed that vibrant smile. Even when he tripped over his own feet and face-planted, he'd grin nonchalantly and quip, "Hmm. As expected, my head's harder than the stone." Seeing him ill like this felt utterly alien. This wasn't some hallucination from the blue window—it was real life, and it was the first time Olivia had witnessed Ricardo in agony.
He was always smiling, always hiding any weakness. That made her even more flustered, even more afraid. She had no idea what to do, no knowledge of how to start making sure he wouldn't hurt anymore. Olivia was always the one being cared for, a noble who had never once tended to another. Her mind went blank, a white sheet of paper.
"Wh-what... what do I do?"
To her, nursing was an unknown realm. That terrified her all the more, her head burning white-hot.
With shaking hands, Olivia grunted and clambered toward the bed where Ricardo lay. It loomed impossibly high for her own strength, but she needed to see his face to calm down. She couldn't do much, but just looking at him might ease this trembling in her chest. Gripping the bedsheet, she pulled with all her might.
"Eek...! Up!"
The sheet was slippery. Despite gritting her teeth and straining, it slid right out of her grasp. The worn fabric tore under her weight, and she tumbled down once because her strength gave out. Failure after failure left small scratches on her hands—not deep enough to bleed, but stinging enough if water touched them. Normally, Olivia would whine about her "pretty fingers getting ruined" and throw a tantrum, but now? Those trivial hurts didn't matter.
"Up...!"
About five minutes of repeated attempts later, Olivia's body finally began inching onto the bed where Ricardo lay. Sweat poured from her, she felt hot and frustrated, but the thought of finally seeing his face brought a tiny bloom of a smile to her lips.
"Haa... haa... Made it."
Olivia wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead with her sleeve and gazed at Ricardo lying there.
"Ricardo... asleep?"
"Hahk... hahk..."
"Eek..."
He looked so pained. His flawless white skin was flushed red, his exhales rough like he was choking on hot iron beads. The sharp rasps pierced her ears, making Olivia shrink her shoulders before whispering softly into his ear.
"Does it hurt, Ricardo?"
"..."
"It shouldn't hurt..."
Olivia racked her brains. What now...? She'd climbed up, but she hadn't planned beyond that. Frowning, she dredged up memories from the past.
What did Ricardo do when I was sick?
"When I was sick..."
Timidly, Olivia placed her hand on Ricardo's forehead. The first thing he'd always done was check her temperature like this. Recalling that clumsy memory, she murmured.
"I'll check your fever."
Slowly... the moment her small, delicate palm touched his forehead.
"Ah... hot."
Olivia yanked her hand back. It was scorching—like grabbing a hot pot handle. Terrified by how fiercely his forehead burned, she pulled away without thinking. An awkward silence fell.
It was just her alone in the room, but her clumsy action felt mortifyingly embarrassing. Bowing her head, she whined.
"Uh... um... sorry?"
She spat out a petty apology to the unresponsive Ricardo. It was just surprise, understand. It's my first time nursing someone. You're at fault for being sick too. So... forgive me. Olivia mumbled softly.
A bitter smile crossed her face at her own pathetic helplessness, and she stroked Ricardo's hair. The soft strands trembled under her touch—unbelievably silky despite no special care. She wanted to keep petting it forever. He was always the one stroking her hair, after all. For the first time, petting his felt... nice. Like fluffing a fuzzy bear doll, comforting even. The heat from his scalp seeped into her fingertips, his delirious groans squeezing her heart.
"Why... are you hurting?"
We promised you'd tell me if it hurt. Furious at her foolish butler's stubbornness in breaking that promise, Olivia clenched her fist. She'd grumbled and snapped at him countless times, but he was her one and only butler, her precious friend who stayed by her side. That made his idiotic side all the more infuriating.
"Why are you... such a fool..."
She'd done nothing for him. Only taken. Only hurled insults. Her voice kept trembling idiotically. Maybe her emotions were raw, or seeing him suffer upset her—no, she didn't know—but it quivered anyway.
She couldn't fathom why this idiot treated her so well, why she thought such attention was her due. She'd never once questioned the reason for his devotion. Taking his lifelong dedication for granted made her feel small, pathetic. She gave nothing, took everything, was nothing but a burden. She hated her worthless self for it.
And... the story the blue window showed terrified her. Not knowing how she appeared in it. Back then, she'd have... taken his devotion as obvious. She still did, shameless as ever, but she'd been colder to him then. She feared what horrors her past self might have inflicted on a sick Ricardo.
The most dreadful future. The sin she most wanted to avoid. Her past self... surely would have discarded him cruelly. Knowing even she wouldn't bother with something as simple as touching a sick person's forehead made her tremble in fear.
"Ricardo..."
Olivia gazed at him.
"Don't hurt. We were gonna play today."
His face, always beaming brightly at her, seemed especially fragile today. His frail breaths. His sweat-soaked body. So Olivia decided to do what made her feel best when she was sick. Nursing was too hard, something she'd never tried.
She'd gift him her happiest memory instead. Tears welling in her eyes, she spoke in a quavering voice.
"I'll..."
Olivia hugged him tight. She pulled him close until her chest felt like bursting.
"I'll hug you."
When Mikhail rejected her and her heart ached, Ricardo's warm embrace had felt so good. Shameless Olivia shyly returned the affection she'd received.
"Get better soon..."
Satisfactory nursing provided to Ricardo. (1/1)
About ten minutes passed with the thumping of heartbeats—thump... thump... thump...—filling the silent room. A familiar touch settled on the head of Olivia, who had dozed off briefly.
Swish.
A gentle hand smoothed her tousled hair. Rubbing her eyes, Olivia lifted her head toward that familiar touch. A warm voice echoed, one she knew so well.
"Miss. Flirting like this hurts your butler's heart, you know."
Ricardo gave a weak smile, teasing playfully.
"Do you need to kill me with cardiac arrest?"
The moment their eyes met, a clear chime rang in Olivia's ears.
Olivia couldn't lift her head. Absurdity. And guilt. She just couldn't.
"Really..."
What an idiot.