I Want to Become a Tentacle
After hearing Aile’s request, I clutched my forehead and sank deep into thought. What the hell did I just hear? I fought to keep the words trying to burst from my lips inside and asked carefully.
“Um… so you want to have tentacles?”
“No. I want to become a tentacle.”
“Aha—so not to have them, but to become one…”
As if that were even possible. Still, I didn’t refuse her outright. She was a teenage girl, after all. Most of them had flower beds for brains. The girl in front of me seemed to have a field of Venus flytraps instead, but anyway… If I shot down the tentacle idea, there was no telling what even crazier request would come flying at me next. Before I gave a flat refusal and something far worse landed in my lap, I needed to talk her through it.
“Why a tentacle, of all things?”
“…Because I thought that would be the most memorable.”
“Memorable?”
“Yes. In the memories of the magical girls… in their heads.”
“Hmm. Memorable, you say.”
Luckily this seemed like something I could handle with normal conversation. I recalled the books on magical girls I’d read after arriving in this world and spoke.
“Magical girls fight against the World’s Enemies that cross over from another dimension, right?”
“Huh? Y-yes… that’s correct.”
“And those World’s Enemies don’t look like anything from this world—they’re more like tentacle monsters.”
“That’s… also correct.”
“If you turned into a tentacle, Aile, wouldn’t they just assume you were one of the World’s Enemies? Far from staying in their memories, they’d probably think, ‘Oh, just another one of those things we see every day,’ and move on.”
“Ugh—”
My words must have struck home; Aile let out a small groan. From her serious expression, it looked like she agreed with me. Good. If I could steer things in a direction that was easy for me to produce, we’d be set.
“Still, if you really want to become a tentacle, I’ll do my best. But if your goal is to remain in the magical girls’ memories… wouldn’t it be more important to become an existence that has never appeared before?”
“An existence that has never existed…?”
“Exactly. For example, an evil magical girl.”
“Ah, an evil magical girl…!”
It was a common trope in the magical girl anime I’d watched back on Earth, but surprisingly it was something that had never existed in this world. Well, it was physically impossible here anyway. Magical girls received their power from spirits or whatever they were, and those spirits existed as a counterforce to stop the otherworldly invaders. There was no reason for them to grant power to someone who would become humanity’s enemy. A magical girl falling to evil while fighting the World’s Enemies? That was impossible. As I’d said earlier, the World’s Enemies were closer to the monsters from Cthulhu myth than sentient beings. If a magical girl died in battle, she died—there were no stories of them awakening to the dark side.
The idea of becoming an evil magical girl seemed incredibly exciting to Aile.
“S-Scientist! I-I want that…! I want to be an evil magical girl!”
“Mm. All right. Do you have a design in mind?”
“I-I do!”
Aile shouted and then dashed off somewhere. A short while later she returned clutching a notebook.
“H-here…”
Showing someone her personal notebook must have been incredibly embarrassing; she stuttered, her face flushed crimson as she held it out. Still, it was far better than being asked to make tentacles, so I accepted the notebook and looked inside. And I became certain.
…So she’s always wanted to be a magical girl.
The notebook contained a self-designed dress that looked exactly like something a chuunibyou middle-schooler would draw—pitch-black, covered in excessive lace and frills. A dress that walked the line between aesthetic and self-deprecating.
While I quietly examined it, Aile fidgeted with her hands and feet before speaking cautiously.
“H-how is it…?”
“—You drew it well. It’s cool. I’ll make it just like this.”
“Y-yes…! Thank you…! …B-but. Is it really okay for someone like me to wear something like this? All the magical girls are pretty and cute. I’m… I’m neither pretty nor cute…”
“You’re plenty cute, Aile. I’ll vouch for that.”
“Y-yeeess—!? M-me, cute…?”
Apparently unused to compliments, Aile’s face burned bright red. She fidgeted restlessly for a moment, then bolted out of the lab.
Watching her go, I let out a long sigh and turned my eyes back to the notebook.
“I have no idea what kids these days are thinking…”
Wanting to become a tentacle, needing to remain in the memories of magical girls—honestly, she belonged in a mental hospital before she belonged in a villain organization. Well, that was the boss’s problem. My job was to figure out how to turn the dress in this notebook into reality.
Simply replicating the design exactly was already a challenge.
Maybe I should commission a professional designer…
In this world, unlike Earth, superpowers existed. Heroes who used those powers existed, and naturally villains did too. Not only that—there were beastmen modeled after animals, magical girls and their counterparts the World’s Enemies, and all sorts of other otaku-like beings… In other words, a creature like the one standing before me could exist.
“Oho ho— To think you would call for me. You clearly know quality when you see it.”
“Ah, yes…”
When I told the boss I needed a designer for some clothes, a scissors human showed up the very next day. Not Edward Scissorhands. A literal scissors human. A bizarre being shaped like a giant pair of scissors walking around on two legs.
I spent a long moment wondering how something like this could exist and how it could even walk before realizing that thinking about it too hard would only hurt me.
“I’m Eight. May I ask your name?”
“I am called Scissors-Jesus. Now then, what is the piece you wish me to create?”
“This… It’s a bit crude, I know.”
When I carefully handed over the notebook, the blades of Scissors-Jesus’s body sparkled. I had no idea how it saw anything, but after examining the notebook, it let out a fufu laugh.
“What an interesting design. You’re entrusting this to me?”
“…Ah, is it too difficult?”
“Difficult—! There is no garment I cannot create! I am merely asking whether you truly summoned me for something like this.”
The scissors sparkled again. I felt something like a sharp killing intent. My mouth went dry; I cleared my throat several times and explained what the design was for.
“This is a magical girl outfit that one of our organization’s executives will wear.”
“…A magical girl?”
“Yes. We’re running an experiment to see if our technology can recreate a magical girl… This is the design the test subject herself requested. If it’s a problem, I can change it.”
“—No, Doctor. You mustn’t give up so easily.”
“Huh?”
I’d only meant that if the middle-school-level scribble was too hard to make, I’d switch to a different design. But Scissors-Jesus seemed to interpret it as me trying to cut him off. He placed one cold scissor-hand over mine and spoke.
“Oho ho, excellent! If this is not mere clothing but a garment imbued with special power, then this Scissors-Jesus shall gladly lend both blades!”
“Thank you. Ah, please use this material.”
I handed over the thread I had prepared beforehand. In this world, superpowers existed. Among them were abilities that could store one’s own power. The robot Regalia cherished—R-something-or-other—had used a battery containing such an ability. The same principle applied to this thread. I had found an ability user capable of infusing power and imbued the thread itself with energy. Clothes made from it would contain their own power, and by attaching several devices that could utilize that energy, we could imitate a magical girl.
Of course, that required the clothes to be made first…
“It won’t take long. Please call the executive who will wear this garment!”
“Ah, yes.”
True to his nature as a being whose entire body consisted of scissors and blades, he began sewing at blinding speed. At that rate, he was clearly faster than any sewing machine. Just as expected from someone the boss had personally recommended, the dress took shape at a visible pace. It looked like a single outfit could be finished in just a few hours.
While I worked on the equipment that would be attached to the dress, I noticed it was nearly complete and went to fetch Aile.
“T-this is…”
“Oho ho— So this young lady is the owner of the dress? It is nearly finished, so please try it on. I must make adjustments if anything doesn’t fit.”
When Aile appeared a short while later, she gasped in awe at the completed dress. Since it had only existed inside her head until now, it was no wonder she was stunned. With Scissors-Jesus’s assistance, she tried on the dress. He instantly identified the areas that needed adjustment and finished the final touches.
The finished product truly deserved the name “evil magical girl.”
“S-Scientist…! H-how does it look?”
“It looks amazing.”
“Uhum—that is not the proper way to give compliments, you know? It is lovely and adorable, young miss.”
“Y-yeees…”
The scissors human was muttering something from the side, but I barely registered it. I didn’t have the mental bandwidth. My eyes were completely fixed on Aile.
To think she’d be this happy…
Wearing the magical girl outfit, Aile spun in circles, lifting the hem of the dress this way and that and striking poses as if wielding a magic wand. Seeing her so delighted, I realized that telling her an evil magical girl was impossible now would lead to massive disappointment. She might even burst into tears and run to the boss demanding I be fired.
…I could make this work, right?
I prayed that I would be able to complete the magical girl outfit safely. I directed that prayer toward the machine-spirit that probably existed somewhere in this ridiculous world.