The Evil Scientist Is Too Competent

I never wanted anything more than to make things. That was all. Just that… and yet.

“Uwaaahahaha—! Scientist! Modify me so beams shoot out of my eyes!”

I was trusted by the Beastman King, one of the Four Heavenly Kings of the evil organization.

“Scientist! Scientist! Please make me a weapon for fighting magical girls! Something that melts only their clothes!”

I was loved by the evil executive in charge of magical girls, the crazy lesbian psycho.

“Scientist! You have done splendidly once again! I believed in you!”

I was favored by the boss of the evil organization.

“Scientist! Please come work for our Hero Association! Your talents must be used for the sake of humanity!”

And I was even obsessively pursued by the heroes themselves.

…I have no idea how things ended up like this.

It all started on that day.

I was just an ordinary researcher living on Earth. My specialty was biotechnology and mechanical engineering. In other words, I liked combining living things with machines. That was it. Nothing more.

But one day, while I was experimenting with a new type of dimensional transfer device, something went wrong. The machine exploded, and when I opened my eyes again, I was in a completely different world.

A world where people with supernatural powers called espers existed. A world where girls chosen by spirits transformed into magical girls to fight against the World’s Enemies. A world where an evil organization openly declared its ambition to conquer humanity.

And for some reason, I had been summoned right into the heart of that evil organization.

The first person I met was the Beastman King, one of the Four Heavenly Kings.

He was a massive lion-type beastman with golden fur. The moment he saw me, he grabbed me by the collar and roared with laughter.

“A human? In our headquarters? Interesting! You don’t look like a spy. What are you, then?”

I answered honestly. I told him I was a scientist who had been dragged here by accident. That I liked making things. That I could probably make all sorts of useful gadgets if I had the materials.

The Beastman King’s eyes sparkled.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

“Make something for me, then! I want to shoot beams from my eyes! Like those heroes on TV!”

…At the time, I thought he was joking.

But he wasn’t. And since I had nowhere else to go, I decided to humor him. I whipped up a simple ocular implant using the organization’s spare parts and some bio-materials I found lying around. It was nothing special—just a basic energy condenser linked to his optic nerves.

I never expected it to actually work.

The moment the surgery was complete, the Beastman King fired a thick golden beam that punched a hole straight through three layers of reinforced concrete.

He stared at the destruction, then at me, then back at the hole. After a long silence, he threw his head back and let out a roar that shook the entire base.

“Uwaaahahahaha! Scientist! You are incredible! From now on, you are my personal scientist!”

That was the beginning of my misfortune.

News of my success spread like wildfire through the organization. Before I knew it, I had been assigned my own personal laboratory, unlimited funding, and a title: Chief Science Officer of the Evil Organization.

The next visitor was a woman who introduced herself as the executive in charge of magical girl countermeasures. Her name was Crazy Lesbian Psycho. Yes, that was really her name. She even had it printed on her business card.

She was beautiful. Dangerously so. Long silver hair, seductive eyes, and an outfit that looked more like lingerie than a uniform. The moment she entered my lab, she pressed herself against me and whispered in a sweet, honeyed voice.

“Scientist… I heard you made the Beastman King’s beam eyes. Could you make something for me too? I want a weapon that can melt a magical girl’s clothes without harming her body. Something that makes them writhe in embarrassment while I capture them… hehe.”

I tried to maintain a professional distance, but she was very persistent. In the end, I created a special dissolving ray that reacted only to the unique molecular structure of the transformation outfits magical girls wore. It was elegant, efficient, and completely harmless to human skin.

She tested it on a captured magical girl and came back with sparkling eyes and flushed cheeks.

“It was perfect… the way she squirmed and tried to cover herself… Scientist, I think I’m in love with you.”

I pretended not to hear that last part.

Then came the boss himself.

The ruler of the evil organization, a man known only as Eight. He appeared in my lab without warning, flanked by bodyguards, and examined my work with a calm, appraising gaze.

“So you’re the scientist everyone’s been talking about. Your modifications to the Beastman King and the new weapon for our magical girl specialist were both excellent. I had high expectations, and you exceeded them.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder.

“From now on, you will be one of my most trusted aides. Whatever you need, you shall have. Continue to create. The world will soon kneel before our organization, and your inventions will be the key to that future.”

I wanted to say that I had no interest in world domination, but the look in his eyes made it clear that refusal was not an option. So I simply nodded.

And that was how I became the most beloved scientist in the evil organization.

But the real problem started after that.

Somehow, word of my abilities had leaked to the outside world. The Hero Association began sending me recruitment offers almost daily. At first they were polite letters. Then they became desperate pleas. Eventually they turned into outright stalking.

One particularly persistent hero—a woman who called herself Jewelry Sapphire—broke into my lab three times in one week. Each time she tried to kidnap me while shouting things like “Your genius belongs to humanity!” and “Please stop helping the villains and come be my personal scientist instead!”

I had to install increasingly elaborate security systems just to keep her out.

Meanwhile, inside the organization, my reputation continued to grow. The other members of the Four Heavenly Kings started requesting custom weapons. The regular soldiers begged for performance-enhancing drugs. Even the cleaning staff asked if I could make their mops self-propelled.

I just wanted to make things.

I never wanted to become the linchpin of an evil organization. I never wanted to be chased by heroes. I never wanted to be confessed to by a crazy lesbian magical-girl hunter.

But here I am.

Sitting in my state-of-the-art laboratory, surrounded by mountains of research materials, with the Beastman King laughing maniacally in the next room as he ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tests his newest upgrade, while Crazy Lesbian Psycho sends me heart emojis through the internal messaging system, and the boss prepares his next grand scheme that will undoubtedly require several more of my inventions.

I sigh deeply and pick up my tools again.

Maybe I should have just stayed on Earth and made toasters.

Yeah… ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I have no idea how things ended up like this.