Chapter 21
Chapter 21
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 21
Chapter Title: A Strange Entity Lives Within Me
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"How exactly are you looking at me?"
"Please don't be too surprised. I'm honestly shocked myself. Hehe..."
Ida Yeon waved both hands innocently, flashing a smile that was undeniably cute, but no matter how I looked at it, this situation made no sense.
I was watching a video, yet the figure recorded in that video was speaking to me directly.
"Explain exactly what's going on. In detail, thoroughly."
I kept my composure as best I could and glanced around.
It was the familiar semi-basement room I'd grown accustomed to.
Nothing was different.
The only strange thing here was Ida Yeon herself.
"I... I don't really know either..."
"What did you say?"
"But I'll do my very best to explain it!"
I nodded curtly, glaring at Ida Yeon as she clenched her fists with determination.
I had no idea what was happening, but at least we could have a conversation.
If things turned dangerous, I could simply stop scanning the memories and return to reality.
"To put it precisely, I'm a 'memory'."
"I already know that. What I'm asking is why a mere memory that only exists can recognize me, attempt to speak to me, and take direct action."
"I'm all of Ida Yeon's memories, and because of that, I'm Ida Yeon too."
"Are we playing at riddles now?"
At my cold response, her lifeless eyes grew even more hollow, and her body slumped.
She looked like a puppy drenched in the rain, and for a brief moment, my resolve softened, but I quickly steeled myself.
"Don't play pitiful."
"Hiiing..."
Ida Yeon wiped her eyes with her grubby sleeve, sniffled, and continued.
"Sniff... It was just a little while ago. I was nothing more than a memory, simply existing."
Then one day! She spread her arms dramatically wide and whispered softly.
"A strange power approached me. It was tempting. I was just a memory that only existed, but for some reason, I drew near to that power."
Power. I had no idea what that meant exactly, but I could make a guess.
Mana.
"The power was alluring. It vanished quickly for some reason, though..."
If it disappeared quickly, then it must have been mana.
I'd used it back at the convenience store, when I dealt with that wretched manager.
"That power had a huge impact on me."
"What was it?"
"It gave me a sense of self."
No context at all.
No, it wasn't just missing context—it skipped the middle entirely and spat out the result.
It suddenly gave me a sense of self?
"Do you seriously think that makes any sense?"
"Right? Hehehe..."
I ignored Ida Yeon's awkward yet cute smile in response to my scolding and sank into thought.
I'd never heard of mana granting a sense of self to memories.
To begin with, it was unprecedented for me to lose my original body and borrow this one, or to peer into someone else's memories.
But was something like this even possible?
Back in the Demon Realm, I could manipulate others' memories with mana.
But granting a sense of self to a memory? That was something else entirely.
Giving self-awareness to something non-living was the domain of creation, akin to resurrecting the dead—utterly impossible.
And it had happened with just a single drop of mana I'd obtained then.
No matter how I thought about it, this couldn't have happened naturally.
"Um, anyway, shall I keep going?"
Realizing my gaze wasn't friendly, Ida Yeon hurriedly asked for permission to continue, and I nodded with a stiff expression.
Yes, it wouldn't be too late to judge after hearing everything.
"Once I gained a sense of self, I realized I was a memory, but nothing really changed."
As a memory, I just needed to recall the actions from that spot.
Having a sense of self didn't erase my purpose.
I simply repeated the actions.
"But something weird happened."
"What?"
In response to my question, Ida Yeon pointed at herself with a finger.
"I'm a memory. From the moment I became aware of myself, I could access memories from all points in time."
Memories aren't fixed.
They shift and distort based on past events or things happening in the present.
So it was only natural for a memory to sense memories from other times.
"But here's the strange part."
Ida Yeon's tilted head revealed eyes that were empty. Hollow. Dead. They resembled my own essence, the Abyss.
"Memories are fluid, not fixed. I know that well since I'm Ida Yeon and her memories."
Ida Yeon continued.
"But at some point, the memories stopped changing. They became fixed."
Memories don't change.
The memories are fixed.
No new memories are being created.
That means...
"It means I successfully died."
Then...
"So I'm a dead memory now, but why do I still exist? That's what I wondered."
If there's no person, their memories can't exist either.
Why?
I pondered, and reached a conclusion.
"I thought that whatever power gave me self-awareness might be connected to this situation."
And if that power had affected me,
"I figured I might one day encounter something related to the power that gave me self-awareness again."
So, as a memory,
I simply existed, waiting for something connected to this to happen again someday.
"And it really appeared!"
An unknown entity wearing Ida Yeon's skin had shown up.
The reason for gaining self-awareness, the sudden end to the memories.
An entity wearing Ida Yeon's skin appeared, one that might know all those reasons.
"Honestly, if it had been a scary person, I would've stayed quiet and pretended not to notice, but you petted me!"
So I thought you weren't a bad person!
"That's why I greeted you so happily!"
Ida Yeon's beaming smile held no trace of falsehood.
"...So, what did you want to talk to me about upon meeting me?"
I furrowed my brow at Ida Yeon's words about having waited to meet me.
Meet for what purpose?
"I just wanted to say hello."
"Hello?"
"Well, you gave me self-awareness. Isn't that amazing? When I first gained it, I thought this was the afterlife."
I looked at the oddly excited Ida Yeon and soon let out a sigh.
There was no hostility, and she didn't seem like a real threat.
"Fine, nice to meet you. Let's never meet again."
There was no need to keep encountering her, so I tried to exit the memory, but Ida Yeon teared up at my reaction.
"Wh-what is it?"
"Are you leaving already?"
In this fixed, unchanging world, you gave me self-awareness, only to be so heartless...
I was quite taken aback by Ida Yeon, who sobbed and muttered through her tears.
Was the original Ida Yeon like this?
Probably not.
When scanning memories, I sought information from Ida Yeon the person, not the exact persona, so I couldn't recall her precisely, but still.
Vaguely, I remembered she was extremely timid.
To the point where she'd tremble at someone's muttered curse.
She was a frail, pathetic child.
Yet this Ida Yeon in the memory was supposed to be the same?
The disconnect was huge.
I silently withdrew from the memory.
She wasn't dangerous, but this unease was hard to put into words.
"Hiiing... See you next time!"
With those parting words from Ida Yeon, I opened my eyes.
....
The dim fluorescent light flickered.
The hazy glow illuminated the room.
In the semi-basement, Madness sat beside me, watching over me.
"Madness."
"Yes."
I moved my lips several times before finally speaking.
"There's a strange entity living inside me..."
Truly, really, genuinely strange.
I couldn't even grasp what it was with my Demon Realm knowledge.
No matter how urgent, I should probably hold off on scanning memories for a while.
She posed no danger and even felt friendly,
but you can't keep close to something whose true nature you don't know.
Tension had gripped me unconsciously, and cold sweat beaded on my skin. I wiped it away with the back of my hand and rose from the chair.
"For now, I should study the internet to learn common sense as I know it..."
There was no helping it.
"What in the world..."
was that?
I approached the sink and turned on the faucet.
Rusty orange water flowed for a minute, then clear water poured out. I filled a cup and drank deeply.
"Haa..."
It had a faint metallic tang and no real taste, but it was enough to soothe my parched throat.