Runaway Ninja vs. Yakuza (6)
“That’s enough for now. Let’s rest a bit before we head back.”
“R-right.”
Orphe’s legs were trembling so hard it looked like she had truly hit her limit. We must have sparred for about three hours. Somewhere along the way I switched to throwing jabs like Delamion to prepare for close combat, and now my fists felt a little sore. Still, Orphe’s well-tempered body had more than enough durability, so the spar ended without any real trouble. I never hit her face.
“I’m going for a short walk. Just sit tight.”
Truth was, my bladder had been sounding the alarm for a full hour already. I had been waiting for a chance to slip away under the excuse of getting some air, but she had been taking the training so seriously I never found the opening. One solid hit from her and it would have been a disaster.
I walked calmly for as long as her eyes could still reach me, then the moment I was out of sight I bolted straight for the nearby mountain.
Dash!
“Hah.”
I found a suitable tree and took care of business.
“Ugh.”
From farther off came an unpleasant stench—someone had clearly done more than just pee. In an age with so few toilets, public urination was the norm, so maybe it was only natural. Thinking about open-air relief dragged up childhood memories.
Back when I decided I would live without caring what the apes thought of me, there were a few things I seriously pondered. One of them was whether or not to use toilets. Defecation is essential for every living creature, yet it also produces something filthy and unhygienic. So Earth’s apes, not wanting to inconvenience other monkeys, invented the toilet—a way to isolate themselves in a tiny space while they did their business. Looked at that way, the toilet was basically born from worrying about other people’s opinions. And I, who had sworn not to care about the apes’ opinions, was supposed to use something created for that very purpose? Logically absurd. I stood before a mountain gorilla and made that argument. Then I got beaten into rice-cake paste. After some deep reflection I concluded that the humans who invented toilets weren’t apes yet, so it was fine. Definitely not because I was scared of getting hit again.
“Nin-nin.”
Pssshh.
With that worry off my mind I felt drowsy. The chirping of birds and insects should have been easy to hear…
“Nin?”
No sound at all. Even though I was in the middle of a mountain. Had the animals predicted a war and emigrated early? Was this just how another world worked? An eerie sense of wrongness crawled over my skin.
Sniff sniff.
I focused and smelled again. The unpleasant odor lingering around my nose wasn’t human feces. Only one kind of creature gave off a stench this foul and ominous.
Yokai!
“You son of a bitches!”
Only now did Bonita’s explanation—the guild salarywoman—come back to me. Animals in this world fled the moment they sensed a yokai approaching from afar. Apparently the strange ultrasonic waves the yokai emitted grated on them. Come to think of it, Ocul never seemed to coexist with other animals either. Same breed of bastards as Satan or Muka.
I yanked my pants up, drew the Gabo Ninja Blade from its scabbard, and—
Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh—!
—cut through the wind toward the source of the smell.
—Keh-get. Keh-get.
—Ihihihihihihihik!
—Kyaaaaaaaah!
The yokai’s cries grew closer. Everyone knows that the Sixth Heaven Demon King—the jester who dances outdated disco while interrupting the Buddha’s training—hates silence. Yokai are born with the fate of constantly singing horrible songs just to please that Demon King’s ears. And now the dark children who never stopped making floor-noise finally came into view.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud!
Yokai that looked like a mix of hyena and cheetah were racing along with glowing red eyes. A rough count of the ones I could see put them well over fifty. Whatever had them in such a hurry, they were leaping over rocks and climbing dense trees as they moved. Where the hell were they going?
“Nin?!”
Their path pointed straight at Goldon. Had they gone completely mad from hunger because no travelers had passed by? Whatever the reason, it was dangerous. If those hyperactive bastards poured through the still-under-construction castle gate, a massacre was guaranteed.
“Oh no.”
For a second I pictured Goldon turned into a butcher shop. Yakuza Slayer reduced to tender steak, Diana-style lizard barbecue. Orphe was exhausted right now, so I had to stop them alone.
—Wazabyot~!!
I roared my battle cry and leapt into the middle of their ranks.
—Hik?
The bastards glanced at me like I was an idiot, then ignored me and kept running. That look was exactly like the mockery of Earth’s apes. A pack of yokai that resembled my little sister. That settled it—total annihilation.
“You sons of bitches!”
Slash-slash-slash-slash!
I shouted again to draw aggro and sliced through their necks. Heads with stupid tongues still hanging out tumbled across the ground.
—Keh-geh-et!
—Aaaaaaah?!
A few of them howled in rage and charged. Huge jaws gaping, claws raised—they looked pretty imposing.
“Forward Slash!”
In the end they were just prey for my new technique.
Shunk-shunk-shunk-shunk!
I sprinted forward, cutting down the heads of the ones chasing me. No matter how agile they were, they weren’t Delamion-level fast. Dangerous only to ordinary civilians or third-rate warriors. The problem was that most of Goldon’s soldiers were third-rate or worse. Even one of these bastards getting inside the gate would leave at least four people seriously hurt.
Slash!
“Take your friend’s head with you!”
Thwack~!
I jet-kicked the head that was still spinning in midair. Its snout whirled around and—
Thud!
—Kyaeh?!
I hadn’t planned it, but it slammed straight into the asshole of the one running in front.
—Kyaaaaaaaah!
That finally pulled the aggro. The yokai turned and charged me.
“Good.”
This was how it was supposed to be. Ignoring me and racing for Goldon had been the abnormal part. Just how delicious was whatever they had hidden in Goldon to make them act like this?
“—Up-Down-Left-Right Slash.”
—Keeeeeh!
“Up-Down-Left-Right Slash one more time!”
Chop, slice.
I carved them twice—top, bottom, and both sides. In an instant the yokai turned into children’s nutritious snacks.
“—Four-Direction Linked Slash.”
Right after, I spun my body 180 degrees and shredded the ones charging from behind as well. “Ninja Blender” might have been a cooler skill name.
—…
Fewer than ten left now. They looked back and forth between me and Goldon. True to their yokai nature, their obsession was stubborn as hell. Fitting for creatures standing on the opposite side of the Buddha, who preached liberation from attachment.
“—None of you are getting to Goldon.”
I swung the blood-soaked ninja blade hard, flinging the gore off.
“—Because I’m standing right here.”
—Keh-geh-geh-get…
The red light in their eyes gradually faded as they edged backward in fear. Had terror driven out the madness? I was always calm, so it was an emotion I couldn’t understand.
“Robin! I came to help!”
“Orphe? Why the hell did you pop out of there?”
Suddenly Orphe burst from the underbrush. Had the fighting been that loud?
“Hide!”
These yokai weren’t the kind of opponents a worn-out Orphe—exhausted from intense training—could handle.
“If you can’t hide, climb a tree!”
“I’m exhausted—how am I supposed to climb a tree?”
Come to think of it, these bastards had been climbing trees earlier too. So what was she supposed to do?
—Ihihihik!
They lunged straight at Orphe, fangs bared.
“Jumping Slash!”
I sprang forward and cut a few down, but the yokai’s mobility—darting every which way—was simply too good. At least three of them were guaranteed to reach her. No choice left.
“Orphe! Now!”
“What?”
“Time to show the results of your training!”
The moment she thought of Instant-Death Thrust, Orphe’s face flushed with battle excitement.
“In…!”
“That’s it!”
“…Hah!”
—Hik!
No, you fucking idiot! What are you doing?!
“You have to say the whole thing! One more coming!”
This time she had to get it right.
“Thrust…!”
“Where the hell did you sell the Instant-Death part?!”
“Hah!”
—Kyaek!
Two yokai died to a completely soulless battle cry. Even the dead yokai would have found that insulting.
“Ah, for real. I’m going to lose my mind.”
Slash!
—Aek?!
I finished off the last one, which was standing there in total confusion.
“If you’re going to do it like that, why did we even spar?”
“But we still won cleanly, didn’t we?”
“Is the result all that matters? Do I look like I’m angry about the result? Why are you so lacking in empathy?”
“…Sorry.”
A cold-blooded results-obsessed type. Kids like her grow up to crush children’s dreams while muttering about “harsh reality.”
“I’ll try harder next time.”
“Well, you don’t have to apologize that much. You still did well.”
If someone apologizes within five seconds, most things can be forgiven.
“Hmm.”
Orphe suddenly looked around, frowning. Had apologizing wounded her pride after all?
“Something’s definitely wrong. Look at this.”
“What?”
“The blood color. There’s green mixed in.”
She pointed one by one at the dead yokai.
“They’re yokai—isn’t that normal?”
“No. Hyners’ blood is red. I’ve never heard of a Hyner that bleeds green.”
Orphe flipped one of the corpses—called Hyners—with the tip of her spear. From among the red blood, sticky green fluid oozed out like slime.
“Did the whole pack eat something wrong and go crazy? Maybe they scavenged some poison-made konjac?”
“…What’s konjac?”
“Ah, you don’t know? Let me kindly—”
“—More importantly, what if someone fed it to them? For some purpose?”
“They were all desperately trying to reach Goldon earlier.”
“…Very suspicious.”
I was still puzzled, but Orphe seemed to have already caught the scent of something. She muttered under her breath.
“Robin. This doesn’t feel like an ordinary incident.”
Something was happening.