Runaway Ninja vs. Yakuza (4)
“Kakashi~!!!”
I roared her name, packing every ounce of pure hatred into the cry.
This stubborn, tangled fate ends today.
“Hiiyaaah!”
Kakashi bolted like a terrified rabbit with its tail on fire. Seeing her that scared, she must have watched at least some of my ninja massacre earlier.
“385? Where do you think you’re going!”
“Kill him!”
The other four charged in with weapons drawn, but their footwork was worse than the instructors’. Leftover trash, clearly.
“—Duck Stir-Fry Technique.”
I twisted the arm of the middle-aged guy rushing me with a dagger, then gave it a careful, thorough massage.
“Buoooooh!”
His bones loosened up beautifully and shattered into a satisfying rain of fragments. Neutralized. Mission complete.
“Hap!”
While I was focused on my cooking, the curly-haired ajumma stabbed a knife toward my side.
“—Okonomiyaki Killing Method.”
Chak-chak-chak-chak!
I slipped sideways with ease, grabbed her head with both hands, and gave it a proper kneading. Her skull stretched out long and thin—perfectly mixed dough.
“Eeh…”
She dropped like a sack of flour.
“Huyaat!”
“Mwaaah~!”
The last two stumbled backward in pure terror. Finally realizing the gap in skill? Too late.
I flung a throwing knife into the man’s nape and slit the woman’s throat with my dagger.
“Trash mobs.”
Picking my nose would have been harder.
That reminded me—after the Maple Leaf Village fight I’d been digging for gold and misjudged the force, giving myself a nosebleed. When my panicked party members asked, I claimed it was from fighting too hard, and they even carried my luggage for me. There’s a reason some students fake sick during PE and camp out in the nurse’s office.
“Nin-nin.”
I turned and checked Kakashi’s position along with the man I’d disabled. She was scrambling up the nearby mountain; the shaking bushes gave her path away completely.
“Ooooh…”
The man had passed out from the pain, his right hand flopping like a tentacle thanks to my ninjutsu. I needed at least one witness for Goldon, so I’d leave him breathing a little longer.
“Oppa’s coming.”
Only Kakashi left. I slammed my reinforced legs into the earth.
Shwoosh-shwoosh-shwoosh—!
I sliced through the air; the scenery blurred and changed in an instant. Moments later I spotted Kakashi sprinting at full tilt.
“Leave your ninja blade and your life behind!”
“Uwaah, uwaaaaah!”
She went deathly pale, as if she’d seen a ghost, and poured on more speed. What was she so afraid of? A ninja who kills for a living should always be ready to die. Anyone who isn’t is third-rate or worse.
“Wazabyot!”
My former master acting worse than third-rate was an insult to the disciple she’d once taught.
“Wait! Please stop for a second!”
Realizing she couldn’t escape, Kakashi skidded to a halt. But villains get no mercy.
“Ninja Hectopascal Kick!”
I launched myself.
KRAANG!
She dodged by a hair’s breadth; my kick punched into a boulder instead. The rock exploded into dust. Her movement was definitely sharper than the others’.
“Euhyat!”
Kakashi screamed and finally drew “my” ninja blade.
“Stop, I said! W-we never had any bad blood between us! Calm down!”
Her face was beet-red as she yelled, completely worked up. Yelling? At me? The victim? That was no different from a home invader lecturing the homeowner about human rights.
“Come here!”
I closed the distance with a throwing knife in each hand.
“Hiyat!”
She deflected them with the ninja blade. A true masterwork—my knives actually trembled on impact.
“Please… just listen…!”
Crossing blades told me her level. Speed and technical precision put her clearly ahead of Aileen. Rough numbers? About 1.4 Aileens.
To force ultra-close range where she couldn’t swing that long blade freely, I slid the ninja blade aside and stuck to her like glue.
“Since when does the attacker lecture the victim!”
In the old days this fight might have been a struggle. But after Poppy had beaten Aileen like a butterfly getting its wings ripped off, this was nothing more than sipping cold ramen broth for me.
“—CPR Technique.”
I slipped inside Kakashi’s guard before she could match my speed and drove the hilt of a throwing knife into her chest. Flat as a board—extra damage.
“Ugh!”
Blood sprayed from her mouth. While she gasped for air I snatched the ninja blade away.
“Ninja blade confiscated.”
“Hah… hah…”
Kakashi dropped to her knees, clutching her chest. I watched carefully in case those narrow eyes suddenly snapped open and she powered up like a shonen protagonist. No such luck. Pointless tension.
“Answer me. Why were you there?”
I’d squeeze a little more intel out of her before the end. I tapped her fallen head lightly with my toes.
“I-I’ll answer. But on one condition…!”
“Answer.”
Before she finished I jet-kicked her. A yakuza lackey doesn’t get to set conditions with a runaway ninja.
“Euht!”
She threw both hands over her head in a perfect defensive pose; my kick still landed dead-center on her gut. Every line of her movement was crystal clear—blocking was useless. Faster than Aileen or not, she was still slow next to me.
“Answer.”
“C-condition—”
“Answer! Answer! Answer! Answer!”
Thud-thud-thud-thud!
I hammered merciless ninja kicks into her body. She rolled, then curled up like a caterpillar—my old master reduced to that.
“I-I’ll talk! I’ll talk! Please…!”
Footprints stamped all over her, Kakashi wept. Should’ve done that from the start.
“Talk. Mention conditions again and I turn you into ground meat.”
“I received a commission from Delbanas!”
“Delbanas?”
Who was that again? Ah—the yakuza oyabun.
“The one with the eyepatch, right?”
“Yes. Delbanas ordered me to investigate Goldon and, if possible, kill the lord as well.”
“Got it. That all?”
“The rest… if you spare me—”
“Bye-bye.”
I leaned in to finish her with the Takoyaki Killing Method.
“There’s more~!”
Kakashi switched to full soprano, belting like a bard. I stopped, as requested. I was going to kill her anyway; might as well hear the rest first.
“Speak.”
“I have a meeting with Delbanas scheduled for tomorrow! If I request a meeting saying something unusual happened, I can see her today! I was supposed to come alone without the other members, so she won’t suspect a thing!”
“So what.”
“I-if you spare me and take me to where Delbanas is, you can kill her too. It’s a huge opportunity.”
Wow. Smart. Hadn’t thought of that.
Pat-pat.
I stroked her head in praise. Kakashi froze, completely flustered.
“All right. We leave right now.”
Swoosh!
The same hand that had been petting her seized a fistful of hair and hauled her upright. Perfect sweet ninja.
“Euiiit~!”
Moved to tears, Kakashi kept gasping in admiration. Brat must’ve gotten plenty of teacher love back in school.
“What are you waiting for? Walk.”
Having reclaimed the heirloom ninja blade, the knot in my chest loosened a little. While Kakashi tried to tidy her wild hair, I gave her rear a gentle kick.
“I-I’ll brush the dirt off first. If I show up looking like this they’ll get suspicious.”
“I’ll dust you off real good.”
I grabbed her right hand, yanked the glove free, and cheerfully shook out her clothes.
Shake-shake-shake-shake-shake-shake!
“Euiyat!”
“Nice and clean. Let’s go.”
“…”
All neat again, Kakashi started walking with her shoulders trembling—maybe she was catching the rhythm now?
“Eolssu!”
I followed behind, dancing the Bongsan Talchum. Day I got my ninja blade back—had to celebrate somehow.
At last we reached the yakuza camp. Easily hundreds of thugs swarmed around the tent village.
“What’s this?”
“Go check. It’s just one person.”
The moment they confirmed Kakashi, several grabbed weapons and ran out.
“Halt. Who are you.”
A yakuza who desperately needed dental implants raised a club. How many kids’ candy had he stolen to end up with teeth like that?
Ssshk—
They got too close, so I slipped into the underbrush. Too many of them prowling around with torches made holding Floating Shadow tough. Open plains with no real cover didn’t help either.
“I’m 385, commissioned by Lady Delbanas. Tell her and she’ll know.”
Kakashi played it perfectly natural. The will to live had turned her into an award-winning actress.
“Ah, I’ve heard of you. Today isn’t the meeting day, is it?”
A middle-aged man in a sedge hat signaled the candy thief to lower his weapon. An officer? Sedge hats were usually worn by the ones who could actually fight.
“We planned for tomorrow, but an important matter came up, so I came to report in person.”
“Can you say how important?”
“It includes a personal commission, so that would be difficult.”
“As you know, private audiences aren’t allowed. We’ll accompany you.”
I watched Kakashi move off, surrounded by seven armed men, then dropped flat on my belly. Too many eyes for proper stealth. Better to crawl and close the distance first.
“Boss! The assassin we sent last time says she has something to report!”
I paused mid-crawl and lifted my head. That big tent—oyabun’s place? A strange aura was leaking out of it, nothing like a magic tool. Wicked, raw, unrefined. Somehow it didn’t feel completely new. A lot like the feeling I got in nightmares.
“I’ll come out myself.”
Suddenly a wave of green light pulsed outward. Instant AoE—I curled up tight.
Wooooong—
The light clearly touched my body, yet nothing happened. What? Just a flashy visual effect?
“Hm.”
I raised my head again. A woman I assumed was Delbanas stood outside holding a javelin. Every single yakuza stayed calm. Used to the green light? Or had only I seen it?
While I was thinking, Delbanas suddenly hurled the javelin straight at my position.
Whoosh—!
It flew with terrifying speed. Former knight, huh? No empty boast—the power was monstrous. Still, predictable enough.
I rose with Ninja Rising Technique, tumbled, and dodged. The javelin buried itself in the dirt, quivering.
“What the—!”
“Grab that bastard!”
Violent movement in such a short time inevitably shattered Floating Shadow. Yakuza charged toward me with weapons drawn.
“Capture the woman too.”
“Eeit!”
At Delbanas’s order the sedge-hat man bound Kakashi with rope. She’d burned a lot of mana protecting herself earlier; she was taken without much resistance, lips trembling.
I had to help her.
Shwing~ Thunk!
“Urgh…”
A throwing knife buried itself between Kakashi’s eyes. I “saved” her from a worse fate. Farewell!
“Crazy! From that distance?!”
“He’s no ordinary guy! Surround him!”
“Get up, you idiots!”
Hearing their comrades, more yakuza poured out of the tents, weapons ready. Two hundred fifty, was it? Honestly, I wasn’t confident I could wipe them all out on open plains. I already had a hostage, so ending it here cost me nothing. Plus Delbanas had some weird power—couldn’t take her lightly.
Time to retreat.
The second I decided, I sprinted the opposite way. A few arrows flew after me, slower than the javelin; I dodged them easily. Naturally, not a single one of them could match my speed.
“Slow. Even your pursuit is pathetic.”
Hodadadadak!
Just running in silence looked lame, so I spun around, tossed out the line, and took off again.
Not yet the right moment to play the “Ninja Massacre” card.