Maple Leaf Village (3)
- Kya-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Everything around me was pitch black, as if the whole world had been dunked in ink. I turned my head to check, but I couldn’t see my hands, my feet—hell, not even my torso. No, it felt like they weren’t there at all. Just my two eyes floating alone in a bottomless black void.
“What the hell? Where am I?”
How was I talking without a mouth? How was I thinking without a brain? Had I somehow attained enlightenment and reached nirvana after listening to Bonita’s story?
But my mission wasn’t finished yet. I still had every last evil to wipe out, and I hadn’t even cleared the fourth quest. I couldn’t leave the mortal plane like this.
- It’sbeenalongtimesincewespokefacetofaceafterthatforestchild
A woman’s voice rolled through the entire space. It didn’t come from any one direction—the whole void itself was speaking to me. It felt exactly like being surrounded by the school bullies in charge of “special education.” The brutal reality of group counseling.
- Youaretheonlyearthlingwhohaseverenduredmymentalwaves
My head spun.
- Mostofthemwentmadandkilledthemselves
“Fuck…”
It was really, truly grating.
- Yourmentalbarrierisnothickthatitcostmealotofspiritualpowertotalktoyouagain
“Use spaces when you talk, you fucking weeb bitch—!!!!!”
I couldn’t take it anymore. Weebs, the second they get a chance to monologue, get so high on their own joy they fire off words like a machine gun without a single thought for anyone else’s feelings. Case in point: that bastard Satan. At least Satan had clear pronunciation. This crazy woman’s speech was pure chaos—impossible to parse.
To a thoroughgoing liberal-arts ninja like Shin Nobin, spacing and punctuation were etiquette itself. And for grammar yakuza who spat on etiquette, there was only one answer: merciless retribution.
- Kyaaaaaaaaaaah!
Craaaack—!
The black world shattered. A scream rang out, then every sound vanished.
Some low-tier trash talking big.
The moment strength returned to my body I shot upright. My pants were damp. Had I… wet-dreamed? No, fuck, was this all sweat? It was still the dead of night, yet I felt like I’d slept a full night. Weird. I’d never had a single nightmare in my life.
Right. There was no way I would have a nightmare. This was clearly a plot by the Sixth Heavenly Demon King, burning with vengeance after losing his loyal servant Ocul. He’d planted a demon seed in my heart, trying to turn me into a mere hominid. Truly, an evil bitch of the highest order.
I stood up, about to strip my pants with the Ninja Undressing Technique, and locked eyes with Orphe, who had just been about to step into the tent. The second our gazes met she flinched hard. Luckily the pants were still up.
“Y-you were awake?”
“A ninja never sleeps deeply.”
Saying I’d been woken by that Sixth Heavenly Demon King bastard would ruin the cool factor. I had risen of my own will. No one could control a runaway ninja as they pleased.
“Can you come outside for a moment? It’s important.”
“Nin-nin.”
I threw on clothes roughly and followed Orphe out at once. This deep rage wouldn’t fade until I cut someone down. Tonight, Shin Nobin was drunk on moonlight and weeb blood.
Orphe led me to the front of the fence. Don’t tell me she’d gotten a taste for peeping holes too?
“I’ve brought him. He’s the strongest, most responsible, most trustworthy person I know. You can speak now.”
A pair of eyes poked out through a gap in the wooden planks.
“Hello, adventurer. My name is Lamina. I’m the one who secretly submitted the request without the villagers knowing.”
“Hello, Miss Lamina. I’m Robin, a wandering swordsman.”
“…The people of this village eat human flesh.”
Honestly, I’d already half-expected it, so I wasn’t shocked. It was about as predictable as Hitler faking his suicide with a homunculus and hatching yokai eggs on a moon base, or Osama bin Laden becoming a reptilian and ruling the underworld. Yokai imagination knew no bounds, and a runaway ninja who had to face their madness head-on had to keep every possibility open. For someone who’d received Think Big gifted education since age seven, this was basic.
“We are not human. We are the descendants of otherworlders once called the dragon race… who were cursed into monsters during the Mythic Age.”
“It was only a myth…!”
Orphe gasped in shock. I had no idea what any of that meant, so I just laughed.
“Haha. What a fascinating story. Takoyaki Killing Method.”
Whoosh—!
But the word “yokai” had come through crystal clear.
“Eek!”
I stabbed Lamina’s eye with the Takoyaki Killing Method on the spot. Unfortunately the yokai yanked its body back in time and only took a light scratch. As expected, reaction speed different from a human’s.
“R-Robin! At least hear the rest of the—”
Orphe’s voice no longer reached me. Yokai had to be exterminated.
Thud!
I vaulted the three-meter fence in one leap. They’d driven big nails into the boards to keep idiots from climbing, but a simple jump made it trivial. The village was dead quiet—everyone must have gone home to sleep. I grabbed the hair of Lamina, who was still clutching her eye and groaning.
“Nngh!”
I hadn’t brought a weapon, so I’d have to kill bare-handed. At last, time to debut the Ninja Hand Cutter.
“My child…”
“Yeah. I’ll send your kid to hell soon enough too.”
Still, since this yokai had revealed its true nature on its own, I planned to let it go relatively easy.
“D-Diana… that child hasn’t killed anyone yet…. She hasn’t even eaten…”
“Nin?”
“Diana can live without eating human flesh. Unlike the rest of us…”
A yokai that doesn’t kill or eat people? That was like a dog swearing off shit.
“Lies. Problematic.”
“It’s not a lie. I can stake my life on it.”
“Your life already belongs to me, though?”
“…I swear to the heavens I’m telling the truth.”
Bonita’s words floated up: “A yokai is just a yokai.” Why was Lamina still protecting this “Diana” yokai even with her neck about to be snapped?
“Is this Diana yokai your boss?”
“Y-yokai? You mean a monster? No.”
A fleeting, wistful emotion crossed Lamina’s eyes. Yokai feeling something other than rage and pleasure?
“She’s my little sister.”
Yokai having the concept of family? Impossible. This wouldn’t do.
“Cry for me.”
“Pardon?”
“Cry and prove your humanity.”
“…Our race cannot shed tears.”
Were these bastards hybrids of mammals and something else, like Ocul? Come to think of it, she’d mentioned dragon race earlier.
“And I too have taken many lives, just like the others… I’m nothing more than a monster myself. You may kill me whenever and however you wish. But please… let Diana leave the village and live like an ordinary human.”
“Why so many words? So you’re saying you’ll release a yokai into human society?”
“Diana’s dragon blood runs thicker than anyone’s. Compared to the rest of us, she’s freer from the Watchmen’s curse. If someone as wise as you, Mr. Robin, would stay by her side, teach her common sense, and guide her properly—”
“You want to make me into a Xuanzang-ninja?”
“I’m not sure what that is…”
Reforming evil that hadn’t yet committed a crime. Was that also a runaway ninja’s job? Same as with Satan—honestly, I wasn’t sure. Maybe I should just kill every villager first and decide Diana’s fate afterward.
“Describe Diana’s appearance.”
If she was hideously ugly I might kill her by accident. If the Great Sage Equal to Heaven had been a mountain gorilla instead of a cute stone monkey, Xuanzang would’ve smashed that monstrosity’s skull with his wooden fish on the spot.
“She’s a girl of about fifteen, blonde hair like mine, orange eyes like mine—”
“Shut up. That’s enough.”
What a garbage description. Just say she looks exactly like you. The lack of vocabulary proved it—yokai were yokai.
“Thank you. Then I’ll go fetch Diana, so please prepare to leave. After that you may kill me—”
“Nin?”
“Yes?”
“A runaway ninja does not stand by and watch evil. Your entire village is scheduled for total annihilation.”
A sparrow can’t just walk past a mill. Especially not a blood-sparrow runaway ninja Shin Nobin, starving for the blood of evil. If I let these bastards live, every commoner around this village would be wiped out.
“Th-that’s an absurd idea. Though we’ve degenerated, we are still the descendants of the strongest among the otherworlders. Please reconsider—”
“Ninja hands are healing hands.”
“Gah!”
I drove a fist straight into her gut and sent her to dreamland. People who nitpick every little thing are just sleep-deprived, so you have to put them to bed right away.
“R-Robin, what are you planning…”
Orphe’s flustered voice leaked through the wooden gap. I scooped Lamina up and hurled her outside the fence.
Whoosh— thud!
“L-Lamina?”
“That one’s a yokai for now, so tie her up tight. Wake the rest of the party and explain. Everyone arm up, wait at the village entrance, and kill anything that tries to slip out. If a kid who looks like Lamina comes flying over the fence, drag her over and tie her up too.”
“…You’re going to fight alone again?”
“Someone has to explain. No time—hurry. Oh, and run get my ninja suit right now.”
“Got it.”
Orphe trudged off. At last, real combat time. Unlike the frantic abandoned mine, we had plenty of time. Tonight Maple Leaf Village would burn hotter than the Martolan festival—a true hot place.
“—Ahh.”
Truly, Maple Leaf Crushing. Pay the price for waking a runaway ninja from his sweet sleep. Accept it gladly.
After tossing Shin Nobin his clothes, Orphe woke the others.
“Ugh…”
Bonita and Satan yawned hugely; Jina, still half-dazed, rubbed her eyes. Orphe urged them on, but the party, dragged from deep sleep, only moved sluggishly with exhausted faces. Orphe bit her lip. At this rate she couldn’t even explain the situation.
Fwoosh—!
“Huh?”
Suddenly the inside of the fence lit up, and the glow began to spread. The party slowly rose to their feet.
“I-is that a fire? What in the world!”
Satan shot up and bolted out in his sleepwear. Startled, Orphe scrambled after him.
“At least arm yourselves first! Wha…!”
The sight that greeted them was pure shock. Maple Leaf Village was burning.
Crack-crackle!
- Kyaaaaaaaaaah!
- Iiiiiiiieeeee!
- Groooooooar!
The sound of burning wood and the howling screams of beasts leaked all the way outside the fence. The rest of the party, who had rushed out after them, froze solid, goosebumps rising at the spectacle.
- Wazabyot!!!!
And then one man’s battle cry swallowed every other noise whole.