I Don’t Want to Do It, But That Sounds Fun
After all that racket, Unit 1104 had returned.
For a place that had come back from the aftermath of Director Jeong’s dazed expression and Kang Seunghee’s collapse, the living room air was strangely buoyant.
Those government bastards finally learned who’s on top this time.
That was exactly why the saying went, when you keep giving someone a spoonful of kindness, they start thinking they’re a Dooly.
Hoyi, hoit! They started acting like they’d be getting stronger forever.
Woojin had no intention of being taken for a sucker.
If he had no backing, maybe he would’ve had no choice. But when you had the strongest backers in the world, why should he hold back?
Woojin placed the blackened, eroded Janus’s Earring on the table and smiled with shameless malice.
Hm. This could be fun.
Thinking up something interesting, Woojin called for Eileen.
"Eileen, come here for a second."
"Hm? Why?"
When Eileen approached, Woojin held out the earring.
"Try putting this on."
"...Isn't this Janus’s Earring? You brought it back?"
"What do you think? Pretty fun, right? If you wear it, will you turn back into that 'Aron' from your Underworld days? I'm honestly curious."
At Woojin’s teasing suggestion, Eileen narrowed her eyes.
She seemed curious about her old form too, because a grin tugged at her mouth as she snatched the earring away.
"Indeed, it is interesting. Aron, huh... It wouldn't be bad to feel that weight again after so long."
"Hey, but you should at least change your clothes first...!"
Woojin’s warning never even finished.
Eileen, who had been wearing a tight women’s training set because she’d rushed over to save Woojin, clipped the earring on.
Flash—!
Blinding mana surged upward, and a massive silhouette appeared where Eileen had been standing.
"...No way."
Woojin stared, slack-jawed, at Eileen—or rather, Aron.
There stood a burly, muscle-bound man well over six feet tall, Aron, the Tyrant Saint of the Underworld.
The problem was what he was wearing.
The pink tracksuit Eileen had been wearing was stretched so tightly across his muscles it looked ready to burst, and the zipper across the chest had already been shattered with a vicious ripping sound.
It was a sight too ugly to look at for long.
"Hooh? It really has become my body from my Underworld days. These heavy muscles aren't bad at all."
Instead of a rough male voice, Eileen’s thin, delicate voice came out of the muscleman's mouth.
At the grotesque sight, Woojin waved both hands in alarm.
"Hey! Take the earring off! Take it off now! You're making my eyes rot!!"
Eileen snickered and removed the earring.
Turning back into a silver-haired beauty, she looked at herself in the mirror and muttered.
Because the clothes had stretched out, they hung loose, leaving Eileen’s underwear and figure shockingly visible.
"Hooh... Was that what you were aiming for?"
Woojin’s face flushed bright red as he turned away.
"W-Who’s aiming for anything! Hurry up and go change!"
But Eileen, acting as though she didn’t care at all, stared at the earring and said,
"It really is a Mythic item. But it isn't perfect. The genitals stay the same, and the voice stays the same too. Only the appearance changes."
Jihyun, who had been watching from the side, shook her head with a disgusted look.
"Ugh... I’m seriously reconsidering living with you. You’re disgusting, honestly."
Then Eileen’s eyes gleamed as she thrust the earring toward Jihyun.
"Hooh...? You think you’d be fine against this earring’s power? Jihyun, why don’t you try it too? I’m curious what a woman like you would look like as a man."
"What? N-No!! Why would I become a man!!"
Jihyun practically jumped out of her skin, but this time Woojin joined in.
"Try it. I’m really curious about your male version too. Eileen has data on Aron, but you don’t. What would you become, Jihyun?"
With the words our Jihyun and Woojin’s sparkling eyes, Jihyun was completely defeated by the attack.
She blushed and grumbled under her breath.
"...R-Really? You won’t hate me if I turn into a man?"
"Of course not! I’d probably like you more! Hurry, hurry!"
Eileen also stepped in, quickly helping Jihyun fasten the earring.
They were a perfect match only when it came to pulling pranks.
"T-Then I'm changing?"
"Yeah!"
Woojin and Eileen said in voices full of anticipation.
Jihyun carefully activated the skill.
Flash—!
Mana roared again.
And when the light faded, Woojin let out an involuntary gasp.
"Wow...."
There stood a perfect handsome man.
He wasn’t built like Aron, all brute muscle and not much else. His shoulders were broad, his legs long, and Jihyun’s pure features had transformed into something sharply masculine, with a clean jawline and thick brows.
He looked so ideal it seemed as if this was what a perfect god of beauty would look like in human form.
Eileen crossed her arms and gave a short verdict.
"You’re better as a man than a woman, Jihyun. Why not just switch careers and become one? I’ll live happily with Woojin oppa, and you can be our bodyguard."
"D-Don’t be ridiculous!"
Woojin also added his two cents.
"Wow... You’re seriously cool and handsome. Even as a guy, I’m getting a complex looking at you."
"T-That handsome? W-Why are you saying that too, oppa! I’m not doing this! I’m not keeping it on!"
Jihyun hurriedly took off the earring, and at once she returned to being a pretty woman.
Woojin chuckled and went on.
"Mm, from now on, Jihyun’s male alias is 'Yu Jihyuk.'"
"Oh, that fits perfectly. Yu Jihyuk."
"Who gave you permission to come up with an alias for me!! I’m telling you, I’m not doing it!!"
Jihyun shouted in outrage, but Woojin idly toyed with the earring and said seriously,
"It’s fun. And this is surprisingly useful. Don’t you think so? There’s nothing better for infiltration, disguise, and espionage."
Jihyun nodded.
"That’s true enough. Changing sex is something enemies can’t easily imagine. There’ll be plenty of uses for it later. It would be nice if we could get the other one too, wouldn’t it?"
At that, Eileen gave Jihyun a wicked smile.
"What, are you planning to turn Woojin oppa into a woman? That would be fun. I become a man, and Woojin oppa becomes a woman so you can date him... That would be the most unusual date of all."
Jihyun’s eyes rolled back at the thought.
"Y-You mean dating Woojin oppa’s woman form???"
Woojin already had clearly defined features and the face of a handsome man. As Seojoohee had said, he had been popular even in the Underworld.
What if that Woojin became a woman?
All sorts of indecent fantasies flashed through Jihyun’s mind.
Woojin oppa’s female form, triggering her protectiveness? She couldn’t resist that.
"You know where to get the other pair, right?"
Eileen nodded.
"Mm, I do. To get the moon’s pair, we need the sun’s pair first... Maybe we can track it down while we’re clearing the Asian Gates."
"Let’s do it! We absolutely have to!"
Woojin looked baffled.
"I’m not turning into a woman though...?"
"You made us do it, didn’t you! You have to too! Fair's fair!"
Woojin stammered.
"W-Where’s the fairness in that!"
"Right here! You absolutely have to! And if we get Catherine and Kim Chulsoo to wear it too, wouldn’t that be hilarious? And Young Master too! Don’t you want to see the Young Master as a woman, oppa?"
Woojin’s pupils trembled.
"Damn... I don’t want to do it, but... making Sangjin into a woman is honestly kind of hard to resist...."
"See? I told you it’d be fun!"
It was a bizarre scene: a Mythic-grade treasure reduced, in an instant, to a punishment-game prop for the party members.
Then Eileen pointed at the eroded earring and asked,
"But what about the erosion removal? There won’t be a scroll in the real world."
Woojin’s eyes lit up.
"There isn’t. But for accessories, we already recruited someone who can remove erosion, didn’t we?"
Eileen and Jihyun clapped at the same time.
"Ah! Seojoohee!"
"Exactly. If it’s her, she can restore it to its original state. Three enhancements should be just right for use. Gender conversion... ugh, I’d refuse that just from how disgusting it sounds."
Eileen snickered and added,
"Mm, and definitely the groin...."
Jihyun screamed and clamped a hand over Eileen’s mouth.
"Just stop saying every thought that enters your head! I don’t want to know about that!!"
***
The next morning, Woojin’s living room was wrapped in a weightier tension than usual.
Woojin, Sangjin, Eileen, Jihyun, Jo Ayoung, Catherine, Kim Chulsoo, and Seojoohee, who had come with her bags.
The eight strongest party members in human history had gathered in one place.
Eileen spread out a map and looked over everyone.
"All right, there are three days left until the Asian Gate assault. We’re flying out to Singapore tomorrow."
Everyone nodded with solemn expressions.
Jihyun, trying to ease the atmosphere, added,
"Don’t get too tense. It’ll definitely work out. Ayoung’s arrival has filled every gap in our lineup, and... thanks to oppa, our equipment is top-tier. There won’t be any special crisis."
Ayoung clenched her tiny fist and answered,
"I’ll do my best! I won’t be a burden to oppa or unni!"
Eileen resumed her explanation in a serious voice.
"We’ll move in three teams. Jihyun and I will head out first to plug the gates that are already open. Jihyun will move north through Malaysia, then Myanmar, Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam. It’ll be the so-called Indochina defense line."
Her finger traced across the map.
"I’ll move down through southern Indonesia to Papua New Guinea, then head back north to the Philippines. I’ll be responsible for the coastal defense line."
Eileen and Jihyun’s eyes shone with a fierce light.
It was a declaration that the two of them would shoulder that enormous region alone.
Arrogance only the former number one and number two of the Underworld could afford.
"And Jo Ayoung."
"Yes! Unni!"
"You’re in charge of locking down Borneo right here."
Borneo, the third-largest island in the world.
Right now, except for a few areas, it was no different from an apocalyptic hellscape.
"Once we begin the assault, the monsters in the gates will surely go berserk. Along with Singapore, Nusantara in Borneo is the area that will serve as our forward supply base. If this place falls, our rear supply lines are finished. Can you do it?"
Ayoung’s expression tightened with resolve.
"I’ll stop them no matter what. I won’t let a single one of them set foot in the supply base."
"Good. At your level, you might not only hold them back but launch a counterattack, so I’m counting on you."
Finally, Eileen looked at Woojin, Sangjin, Catherine, and Kim Chulsoo.
"And the four of you will serve as our mobile strike force, the ones who rush in to support Jihyun and me when needed. You’ll move between Singapore headquarters and Nusantara, backing us up wherever the situation requires. There won’t be any major dangers. I guarantee it. And you’ll be able to rack up levels like crazy."
At that, Woojin blinked and asked,
"Oh? Singapore and Nusantara are pretty far apart, aren’t they? You can really move back and forth that fast?"
Eileen smiled with confidence.
"Who do you think I am? I’ve already built that kind of infrastructure. The portal installation succeeded."
"...Wow, you’re seriously something else. You even installed portals?"
They were the ultra-expensive teleportation devices that, even in the Underworld, had existed only in the major cities.
They couldn’t move tens of thousands of troops, but for a small elite force and emergency supplies, they were the perfect strategic infrastructure.
Eileen had already pulled in her family’s capital and the cooperation of all Asia to install portals in two locations.
"There are no failures. We’ll handle the details as we go, adjusting to the situation during the assault. Any questions?"
No one answered.
Only unshakable resolve filled the living room.
Satisfied, Eileen nodded and suddenly clapped her hands.
"All right! Starting tomorrow, it’s hellish war! Today, let’s have some fun!"
"Waaaah!!! Charge!!"
Starting with little Ayoung’s shout, the heavy atmosphere shattered in an instant.
Sangjin was already opening a delivery app to order food, and Chulsoo was preparing drinks while looking after Catherine.
The night before the storm.
And so the heroes who would save humanity prepared for fate’s gate assault by enjoying the most ordinary and the noisiest party imaginable.
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