Some People Even Break Their Noses Falling on Their Backs

Some people even break their noses falling flat on their backs.

Ding-ding-ding— ding-di-ri-ding-ding— ding-ding-ding-ding-ding—

Woojin’s phone rang sharply.

It was Eileen.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Where else? I’m meeting with Director Jung and Hunter Kang Seunghyk."

Woojin stared, dumbfounded.

"What lie? Want me to hand Director Jung the phone?!"

Woojin passed the phone over to Director Jung.

Director Jung stared at his own hand with round eyes and pointed at himself with his index finger, as if to ask if Woojin had lost his mind.

Me? Why are you handing it to me?

Woojin mouthed back silently.

Just take it.

Director Jung took the phone with obvious reluctance.

"K-khm. This is Director Jung."

"I don’t know why you’re asking, but if it’s just Kim Woojin, me, and Hunter Kang Seunghyk in the same place, then yes, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that’s definitely correct."

Woojin snatched the phone back and said, "See? You keep doubting everything like that—that’s a really bad habit."

Click—

Hoo... I survived...

He had no idea what exactly he’d survived, but the reason Eileen had called was...

Don’t tell me she figured out that Kang Seunghyk is a woman? Just how sharp is her intuition...?

He already had the nagging feeling that the rest of his life was going to get a lot more exhausting.

Woojin rolled Janus's Earring across his palm and spoke.

"Let me make this clear. With my current ability, I can guarantee a +3 on even a Mythic-grade item."

At that, Kang Seunghee’s eyes lit up.

"R-really? If it’s +3... that means the voice-change function opens up too, right?"

"Right. From what I can tell, the higher the enhancement level goes, the longer the duration gets too. Let’s see."

Woojin focused his mana at once.

His vastly expanded mana plunged into the sun emblem engraved on the earring.

Wooooong—

Then Woojin checked his mana.

Good. At this rate, I can hold out.

Thanks to clearing gates and leveling up, Woojin had reached level 22, and his mana reserves had increased dramatically.

He checked the item’s information again.

"Oh? So the duration goes up by thirty minutes every time the level rises. Now that it’s +1, that makes it a total of one hour and thirty minutes. If we take it to +3, that’s two hours and thirty minutes. That should be enough for one or two official events, right?"

But Seunghee’s expression was anything but satisfied.

She hesitated, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Actually... what I want is... +6. I really need the gender-swap skill..."

Woojin frowned.

"Wait... is your taste...?"

Seunghee hurriedly waved her hands, flustered.

"N-no way! I like men!"

"So you like men and want to become a man... some kind of... desire like that?"

"No, that’s not it!!!"

Woojin asked again, awkwardly.

"Then why, exactly?"

Seunghee made a miserable face, sighed, and said, "Haa... my coworkers keep asking me to go to the bathhouse with them..."

Woojin’s face went blank.

"......What?"

"They keep saying it’s basic guy bonding to scrub each other’s backs naked, and asking why I keep putting up walls... If it were just once or twice, maybe I could brush it off, but now going to the bathhouse together after every gate run has become a ritual, and if I keep being the only one who skips it, it’s way too obvious..."

"......That’s quite the reason."

"I-I’m serious!"

Woojin was at a loss for words.

This one’s crazy too...

The sacred Korean male ritual of “sauna friendship” was dragging her Mythic-grade item toward the gambling table.

"Even if you turn into a guy and go to the bathhouse, aren’t you forgetting the poor guys who’d have to see you naked? That’s sexual harassment, isn’t it?"

"!!!!!!"

Seunghee’s eyes flew wide as if the thought had only just hit her.

"I-I never thought that far... I was only thinking about not getting caught..."

"Haa... no matter how I look at it, it seems like it’d be better for everyone if you just admitted you were a woman."

"Absolutely not! Please, please enhance it to +6! I want to go to the bathhouse!"

Woojin clicked his tongue.

Crazy and a pervert.

But what was he supposed to do if she was dead set on it? He had no way to stop her.

"This is your choice, remember? I warned you."

"P-please!"

Woojin steadied his breathing.

Fortunately, after running gates with Eileen and Yu Jihyun, his current level was 22.

Even if it was a Mythic-grade item, a small accessory wasn’t beyond the realm of +6.

"I’ll go straight to +3 first."

Blue mana erupted from Woojin’s hands like a blast.

Hah... even if it’s only an earring, Mythic is still Mythic...

"Ooooh!!"

Seunghee screamed.

Woojin wiped the sweat from his brow and handed the earring over.

"Want to try putting it on?"

Seunghee slipped the earring onto her ear with trembling fingers.

Then she opened her mouth carefully.

"Ahh... whoa!? It’s real!? That’s insane!!"

What came out of her mouth was a rough, low male voice.

It was so gravelly and deep it sounded as if her vocal cords had developed calluses; it was the perfect voice of Kang Seunghyk.

"Even the breathing sounds like a man’s breathing. That Mythic-grade name really isn’t for show."

Woojin marveled, and Seunghee, moved to tears by the sound of her ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠own voice, kept shouting, "Big brother! Director!!" over and over again.

"With that face, though, if you use a man’s voice it just looks like lip-syncing. Cut it out."

"Yes, sir..."

Woojin poured cold water on her excitement.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"No matter how I look at it, stopping here is the best choice. If you push it any further and it breaks... it probably won’t explode, since it’s a Mythic item, but if you’re unlucky, it’ll turn into Erosion."

"E-Erosion?"

Seunghee’s eyes went blank.

Woojin sighed and explained.

"You lived in Unriworld for an entire year and you still didn’t know that? After +3, failure means a drop in level at the bare minimum. If you’re unlucky, the item turns jet-black as Erosion takes hold. Then its performance gets cut in half, and you can’t reinforce it anymore."

To dispel Erosion, you needed a special scroll or a rare item, and there was no chance something like that existed in the real world.

"Do you have an Erosion Removal Scroll?"

Director Jung shook his head as well.

"Hmm... I’ve never heard of an item like that."

"See? If this gets eroded, it’ll just become a pretty piece of trash."

But warnings meant nothing to a human with gambling in her eyes.

Seunghee was already lost in a fantasy of linking arms with her coworkers in the bathhouse.

"J-just one try! Just once! We haven’t even tried yet!"

Kang Seunghyk’s eyes, having tasted the power of the +3 Janus's Earring, were already glazed with madness.

Woojin knew those eyes very well.

He looked over at Director Jung.

"Director, enhancing a Mythic-grade item once drains more energy than enhancing five hundred ordinary items. I’m doing the country a massive favor with this."

"......All right. I’ll accept that."

Honestly, Woojin had expected him to try and stop them, but Director Jung also wore a strangely eager expression.

What the hell, are the damn fan club and the bathhouse really that important?

In the end, Woojin gathered his mana again.

"All right then, here we go! If this fails, don’t blame me!!"

"It worked!! Two more!! Two more successes and it’s bathhouse time!!"

Seunghee bounced up and down in place.

But cold sweat had already broken out down Woojin’s back.

Woojin’s first law of enhancement.

Anything you desperately want to enhance will always stab you in the back at the decisive moment.

Damn, this feels bad...

If it had been Woojin himself, he would’ve stopped here and tried again tomorrow.

But looking at the faces of the two people in front of him, that wasn’t an option.

Woojin shook off the ominous feeling and poured his mana into the item, aiming for +5.

But then—

Clang—

Fwoooooosh—!!

With the sound of air hissing out of a punctured tire, a foul black smoke rose from the earring.

There were crits in enhancement, and there were crits in Erosion too.

The dreaded 0.1 percent Erosion crit—the one that said you could even break your nose falling on your back—had just gone off.

"......"

"......"

It hadn’t been called Woojin’s first law for nothing.

A hellish silence settled over the training hall.

The enhancement level had plummeted straight from +4 to +2.

"Um... Enhancer? W-what happened?"

When Seunghee asked in a trembling voice, Woojin shook his head with bitter resignation.

"...I told you earlier. I said it could fail."

"E-even if it failed, it was still +3, right? The voice-change skill should still work, right?"

Woojin shook his head.

"We got hit by a royally rotten streak of luck... the failure crit ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠triggered. A downgrade crit knocks it down by two levels. At +2, the voice-change skill is locked again. And because its performance is down to fifty percent, the appearance-change duration has been cut from one hour to thirty minutes. Since it’s eroded, you can’t reinforce it anymore either."

Seunghee’s scream seemed ready to tear through the roof.

"N-nooooooo!!!! This can’t be happening!! My bathhouse!!!"

With a half-mad look on her face, she shoved the blackened, eroded earring back onto her ear and tried to trigger the transformation again.

Flash—!

In an instant, she changed into the sturdy male form of Kang Seunghyk.

But the mana pouring out of the earring flickered erratically, unstable and weak.

"No!! It’s real!! It’s real, the time really got cut in half!! Hey!! You bastard!! What are you going to do about this!!"

The moment her appearance shifted into a man, Seunghee’s personality flipped one hundred and eighty degrees.

The frail woman from a moment ago vanished, replaced by some broad-shouldered brute who looked ready to grab Woojin by the collar.

"What do you mean, what am I going to do? You were the one who wanted it! I warned you!"

"I thought at least +3 would be safe!! A failure crit? What the hell kind of joke is that!!"

Her mouth should have been spewing a rough male voice, but with the voice-modulation function gone, a thin, high-pitched female voice burst out instead.

Watching a huge man shriek in that pitch was grotesque enough to make anyone’s skin crawl.

Crack—!

Maybe she canceled the skill, because Seunghee quickly reverted to her female form.

Then she collapsed to the floor and burst into sobs.

"Waaah, I don’t knowww...!! What am I supposed to do now!! Waaahhh!!"

Her personality had snapped back into that of a soft, helpless woman.

Woojin clicked his tongue at the bizarre mood swing.

Is she the type whose personality changes when her appearance changes? What a crazy woman...

"......Too bad. You should’ve been a little less greedy."

"I DON’T KNOW!!! Take responsibility, you bad man!! Waaahhh!!"

Woojin answered in an even, calm voice.

"Hey, Kang Seunghyk—no, Kang Seunghee."

Seunghee shot him a fierce glare.

"What!!"

"Quit whining like a kid and listen closely. There’s a rule in the world of enhancement."

Woojin’s forceful tone made Seunghee shrink back a little.

"...W-what rule...?"

"Even in a proxy enhancement, the item’s owner is the one who has to take responsibility."

"...You... shameless bastard..."

That was the weight borne by anyone who had chosen to entrust a proxy enhancement.