The Third Answer

Today, just as we'd promised last time, was the day of my regular checkup at the Men's Protection Center.

"Those genetic and semen tests you had done last time, Inkyu."

"Ah... right."

"The results are a little strange."

Teacher Noh rifled through the papers, picked out a few sheets, and set them down in front of me.

"Everything's off. Testosterone production, semen volume, sperm motility—all of it. It looks as if you alone slipped past the genetic and epigenetic changes that have piled up in the men of this world."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Bad? You're almost too healthy. If you're the standard for health, every other man on the planet is defective goods~"

Teacher Noh laughed and rapped the desk.

"So there's nothing I need to be careful about...?"

"Women."

"What?"

The playfulness vanished from his smiling face in an instant.

"Women are strongly drawn to men as it is, but there's something more with you. I can't say for certain that it's pheromones, but something about you stirs the obsession and desire of the women around you far more than it should."

Teacher Noh, who had been turning it over, suddenly caught me by the shoulder.

"Did you have sex with Teacher Ryuah?"

"Ah, there you go again. Seriously."

"Listen carefully. This matters."

He pushed a document dense with handwriting across the desk toward me.

"It can show up when a woman who hasn't had contact with a man in a long time—or who's become deeply fixated on one particular man—has direct sexual contact."

"And then what happens?"

"Her heart rate and body temperature spike, and her ability to think goes hazy. If the pleasure exceeds what her nervous system can process, she can lose consciousness for a while."

"So I just stop, right?"

"You have to. Once the overload settles, her temperature can drop the other way, so keep her warm. And if her breathing doesn't come back, you call me immediately."

Only then did I remember it—the give of Teacher Ryuah's chest under my hand during the Contact Test.

"You're not just trying to scare me, are you?"

"You think I ran a Contact Test for nothing?"

Someone passing out in the middle of sex. It was a hard thing to wrap my head around, but Teacher Noh's expression couldn't have been more serious.

"Remember this. When you need to stop, you stop. If anything happens, call me right away."

That was the moment.

—Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Teacher, it's Ryuah!"

Of all people, the woman who had just been at the center of the conversation was outside the door, looking for me.

"Are you in there with Inkyu?"

The corner of Teacher Noh's mouth curled, mischievous.

"Oh~ that's all for today. Inkyu, looks like your girlfriend's waiting?"

"Not yet, she isn't."

"Soon, then?"

"Ugh. Seriously."

As if putting gentlemen first into practice, Teacher Noh opened the door and stepped aside to let Teacher Ryuah through.

When the door opened, the first thing I met was a worried gaze.

"Why did you have the door locked?"

"Just a little confidential talk. Between men."

"It was only the two of you."

"Which makes us men."

Teacher Ryuah's eyes narrowed as she watched him answer so blandly.

"You weren't teaching him something strange, were you?"

"Strange? It was a very important safety lesson."

"What kind of lesson?"

"You'll have to ask Inkyu that yourself."

And suddenly the attention swung to me.

The explanation from a moment ago flashed through my head. A racing heart, a climbing temperature, thoughts going foggy—and, in a severe case, even losing consciousness. The moment I considered that the person standing in front of me might be that case, I found myself looking away for no good reason.

"It wasn't anything much."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Just... a talk about health."

It wasn't entirely a lie.

Teacher Ryuah still looked unconvinced, but she didn't press any further.

"Is the investigation over?"

"Yes. It doesn't look like the photos that were taken got out. They said they still need to check a little more, though, in case there are copies. Or an accomplice."

"That's a relief, at least."

"It was my failure. I should have stopped it sooner..."

The self-reproach started up again. I gave her arm a light pat, meaning it was all right.

"You weren't hurt, and we got the photos back. That's enough."

"But..."

"Teacher Ryuah~"

Teacher Noh, who had been watching the two of us, cut in with shameless ease.

"You've been burning through quite a lot of annual leave, haven't you?"

"I hear it was processed as fieldwork."

The answer came without a shred of hesitation and shut his teasing down on the spot, and a laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it.

"Teacher Ryu, you've got to ease up on that seriousness. Keep that up and men won't like you."

"One person is enough."

Teacher Ryuah answered calmly, and looked at me.

The moment our eyes met, she seemed to realize too late what she had just said, and looked away. Teacher Noh was not about to miss it.

"Oho."

"We'll be going now."

Before she could be teased any further, Teacher Ryuah caught my arm and hurried me along.

"Inkyu."

Teacher Noh stopped me as I was about to leave the Center. When I turned, the playfulness was gone from his face.

"What I told you—remember it. No matter what."

I gave a small nod.

"Yes. I will."

By the time we stepped outside the Center, the sun was already going down. The warning I'd just heard still sat in a corner of my mind, but Teacher Ryuah, walking at my side, looked no different from usual. A steady stride, a straight posture, eyes checking the surroundings so she could protect me at any moment. Only the hand that had caught mine didn't let go easily.

—Shuffle. Shuffle.

The road home. After parking outside the apartment complex, we walked slowly, breathing the late-evening air—unhurried steps, as if each of us wanted to stretch this time out even a little longer.

"Teacher Ryuah."

"Yes?"

I hesitated a moment, then offered her my arm.

"How about it?"

She looked back and forth between my face and the arm I'd held out. Then, instead of answering, she carefully linked her arm through mine. Familiar sweetness spread with the warmth of her, now so close.

"Last night..."

The moment I started to speak, the fingertips wrapped around my arm flinched.

Teacher Ryuah knew too. What each of us had been doing on the other side of the wall. What kind of breathing we hadn't been able to hide. But when it came time to actually confirm it, my mouth wouldn't open. The hope that she might have been thinking of me. The fear that all of it might be nothing but my own delusion. And over both of those, the warning I'd just heard from Teacher Noh flickered through my head.

If I'm right. If Teacher Ryuah wants me. Even after I confirm that feeling, could I still stay beside her as if nothing had changed?

"Never mind."

In the end I couldn't ask, and swallowed the words. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have pretended not to know and let the moment pass.

The light in Teacher Ryuah's eyes, waiting for an answer, slowly sank. The strength in the hand around my arm drained away little by little. I knew I had to hold on—to say it was a misunderstanding, that I hadn't meant anything else. But my lips only parted and closed, and nothing followed.

This was the worst.

"I'll get dinner ready..."

A voice falling, strengthless. Teacher Ryuah slowly unlinked her arm. The moment the warmth that had been pressed against me disappeared, the night air felt unusually cold.

She started walking half a step ahead of me. Close enough that I could have caught her if I'd tried. And yet that short gap felt so much farther than it had a moment ago.

It was a kind of pain I had never felt before. I was sure that, to him, I was not the one—and still my heart kept turning toward him, which only made my chest ache worse.

Last night.

The words he had begun and never finished split my heart open. I must have waited to hear them hundreds of times, but the answer I had wanted never came.

Had I been too passive? Was that where I'd gone wrong? The closer I drew, the more I feared he would pull away. Afraid that if I showed my greed he would come to fear me the way other men did, I took two steps back for every step I came forward.

But now I wanted to run to the next room and ask him this instant. Am I not enough?

Sobbing, I got up from the bed and stood in front of the door. I even gripped the handle, but in the end I couldn't open it. Instead I leaned my back against the wall that met his room and let the tears fall without a sound.

How long passed like that.

—Tap. Tap.

A sound from the other side of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the wall I was leaning on. A thread of hope, and I thought my breath would stop. Was it a coincidence? I lifted a hesitating hand and knocked on the wall twice.

A brief silence.

—Tap. Tap. Tap.

This time, three answers came back from the next room. The gloom of a moment ago scattered, little by little. At least he wasn't turning away from me. The thought made me smile.

No more knocking was needed. I could tell this much—we were leaning on the same wall, waiting for each other.

Teacher Noh's call, first thing in the morning, was unlike him—heavy with seriousness.

"I can't really refuse, can I?"

Mom, listening beside me, of course said she would come too. She wasn't allowed.

"You're saying that I, his mother, would get in the way of protecting my own son?"

For a while Mom just stared at the phone without a word. Then she straightened my collar. A soft scent of lily and musk drew close.

"If anything happens, you call me right away."

"Don't worry. I'll only be there a day."

"Right. Only a day."

Mom's fingers slowly brushed my cheek.

"Mom's good at waiting."

There was no time to think too deeply about what those last words meant.

Soft light spilling from the high ceiling washed over the smooth marble floor. The lobby, busy with staff moving luggage and guests waiting to check in, looked no different from any other luxury hotel. Nowhere was there a trace that this place had anything to do with a facility for protecting men.

Following the staff toward a corner of the lobby, part of what had looked like a decorative wall opened without a sound. Hidden behind it was a private elevator running straight into the secure zone. Once we stepped inside, a terminal was waiting for us, demanding a fingerprint and an ID at the same time.

The problem came after that. To keep a protected person's identity from reaching ordinary staff or the other guests, the public guest list had me and Teacher Ryuah down as a married couple.

"For today, please act as a couple on their honeymoon."

"A h-honeymoon?"

At the security officer's words, Teacher Ryuah's voice cracked upward. A staff member passing through the lobby glanced over, curious, so I put an arm around her waist to look like a natural couple. The moment my hand touched her, I spoke lightly, trying to ease the tension that had frozen her solid.

"They said we have to make it look natural, honey."

"Hon..."

Teacher Ryuah's face flushed red in an instant.

"Honey?"

I couldn't tell whether she was happy or angry. Until we were inside the room, she never took my hand off her waist.

—Click.

Beyond the door: one large bed, and a small sofa. The city at night lay below the window, and on the table, flowers and wine had been set out for newlyweds.

"I'll sleep on the sofa."

Teacher Ryuah said it as she set the bags down.

"We could sleep together. I wouldn't mind."

"No."

A firm answer.

"Why not?"

"If I lie down in the same bed as you right now... I don't think I could go back to being your protector."

Teacher Ryuah was smiling, but her eyes were serious.

"Then we can still have dinner together, right?"

She nodded as if that much was fine, and we ate together. After we'd made a fair dent in the meal and sat across from each other with a glass each of non-alcoholic wine, Teacher Ryuah couldn't seem to let go of hers. Head lowered, fiddling with the glass, she carefully opened her mouth.

"I... the truth is, I like you, Inkyu."

She looked at me.

"You were the first. You listened to me, you remembered my name, and you didn't run even when I came close."

There was a smile at her lips, but her eyes were growing wet, little by little.

"I got greedy..."

"......"

"But I wasn't sure. What does he think of me? Am I the only one whose feelings are running ahead..."

"I—"

Ryuah cut off what I had been about to say.

"If you feel the same way I do... please say again what you were going to say yesterday."

I couldn't answer right away. After waiting a moment, a faint resignation spread over Teacher Ryuah's face.

"So it really isn't me... I'll go to sleep first tonight."

That night I lay on the bed, and Teacher Ryuah lay on the sofa with her back turned. The lights were off, but neither of us was asleep. Turning the mistake from earlier over and over, I couldn't even understand why I kept closing my mouth.

—Rustle.

A small stir in the quiet room. At first I thought she was only shifting. But the breathing that went on, steady, and the tremor that slipped out now and then, were the same as what I had heard through the wall these past few days.

"Teacher Ryuah."

The movement stopped.

"Are you thinking about me right now, too?"

No answer came. In the dark, only a suppressed breath trembled faintly.

"The other night, you called my name, didn't you?"

"I'm sorry."

Only after a long while did a small voice come.

"If it bothered you, I won't do it again."

"Did I say it bothered me?"

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

As if something violent had surged up in her, Ryuah shoved herself upright. Even in the dark, I thought I could see her wet eyes.

"One word from you, and I could give up everything I have... I like you so much I think I'm going to lose my mind."

"You already know exactly how I feel, don't you? ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠And yet... and yet... you haven't told me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠anything..."

Her voice cracked.

"I'm sorry. I'll request another room."

She was roughly gathering her things to leave when I finally managed to speak.

"...Last time, it was your turn, Teacher Ryuah."

The footsteps gathering her coat stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"The first time, I was the one who heard. The next day, you were."

For a moment the conversation broke off, and only our breathing filled the room. Ryuah's lips trembled faintly.

"Back then... who were you thinking of?"

Again, I couldn't answer. Whatever she made of that silence, Teacher Ryuah lowered her head and headed for the door.

"Forget it. I'll pretend I never asked."

Just before her hand reached the handle, I got up from the bed and caught her wrist.

"Let go."

"You wanted to know who it was."

When I drew on the wrist I'd caught, Teacher Ryuah turned toward me. Hot breath, as close as the distance between us.

"Who do you think."

"Inkyu..."

Her eyes shook hard.

"The person I was thinking of that night."

Everything I had been holding down came over her face all at once—joy, or desire, or the edge of tears, an expression too tangled to tell apart.

"Say it again."

"I said I was thinking of Ryuah."

"Just one more time..."

The third answer wasn't in words.

When I carefully drew on the wrist I held, Ryuah's body tipped helplessly toward me. In her tear-filled eyes, a hesitation that still hadn't been erased wavered. I held the faintly trembling Ryuah against me, and I didn't rush. I only offered her the quiet of my arms until that hesitation subsided.

Perhaps she had settled a little; the hitching breaths slowly evened out. Thinking she would be all right now, I started to let go of her wrist—

"Just a little... longer..."

She said it in a voice soaked with tears. And then Ryuah's fingertips wound back around my hand. Fingers slowly interlocking. Ryuah catching my hand as if she were ready. There was no reason to refuse what that meant.

—A soft peck.

Following the head that tilted so gently, our lips met. Still as if we were only confirming each other's hearts—tantalizing, not nearly enough, a kiss so careful we could barely tell we had touched.

"Haa..."

Before our breaths had even scattered, once more. This time I was the one who leaned in first.

—A wetter kiss.

As if she had entrusted everything now, Ryuah leaned her whole body into me. Sorrow, anxiety, hesitation. The words and feelings we had swallowed for days with only a wall between us poured out all at once between our lips. Clumsily tangled breathing fell apart in no time, and even when we drew our heads back to catch a breath, neither of us could easily let the other go. Between lips that had barely parted, a long strand of saliva stretched.

"Inkyu..."

Speaking in a voice soaked through, Ryuah wound her arms around my neck just like that. As if she absolutely would not let go—not tonight—a strength hard to believe gathered in those slender arms.

Lips overlapping again and again. Warm breath seeping deep into my lungs until I couldn't breathe, and still I didn't want to pull away. The dizziness soon turned into a sweet haze, a moment when I couldn't think of anything but the Ryuah in front of me. As if we had become addicted to each other, we mixed our tongues again.

"Haa... haa..."

At the corners of Ryuah's eyes, gasping, tears gathered that meant something different from before. And something hot and clinging ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wavered inside her gaze.

"I... I'm not holding back anymore..."

Before I had room to answer, she came down on my lips. No more hesitation. No more waiting.

"Honey...♥"

At the coaxing name that slipped in by my ear, my breath stopped.

"You're the one who started it."

Ryuah looked at me, slowly licking lips wet from the kiss. The corner of her mouth curved, little by little.

"So you don't get to stop now.♥"