Home Alone, Outside

"Ms. Ryuah, you stand right there with your hands up."

Another peaceful day in the Second Special Examination Room.

It hadn't risen to the level of an investigation into the crime of sexually assaulting a man. Things were being handled as a personal scolding.

I was the victim, was I...? Then again, thinking about what she'd wrung out of me this morning, maybe victim was fair.

Women are all animals... sob...

"A fully grown woman, and to a frail man, no less."

Talking about me like that, when I was taller than the average woman...

"Someone who completed the entire training course, and you still came down with Male Hypercontact Syndromeeee?"

"Dr. Noh... Inkyu is really different..."

"You finished suppression training, and you're still making feeble excuses."

"But it's truuue...."

Ryuah, serving out her punishment, muttered as if she resented every word.

A crisp smack, and there it was—the vivid bite mark carved into my neck. Doc Noh pressed an enormous pain-relief patch down over the whole thing.

"And you, Inkyu-gun. Don't you ever get tired?"

"What can I say? I'm a little superhuman in that regard."

"You go stand over there beside her."

We were only trading jokes now, but he'd told me the Men's Protection Center had been in an uproar at dawn the day before—calls that wouldn't connect, his assigned protection officer coming down with hypercontact syndrome, a report sent up the chain with no countermeasure behind it, and, at the very end, word reaching the higher-ups that the two of us were having "sex."

"But Doc Noh, did you actually record what we did?"

I had saved the most important question for last.

"I... I did..."

"You couldn't delete it for me, could you?"

"I was thinking I might submit it to a conference this time..."

A soft rustle, and he handed me a sheet of paper.

"What do you think, Inkyu-gun? I've only scribbled out an abstract so far, mind you..."

Doc Noh really was a fascinating man. Turning someone else's breathless panting into material for an academic conference. I crumpled the page on the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠spot.

"Where's the recording, Doc Noh."

"Right here... but it truly is important data... couldn't we work something out, just this once, Inkyu-gun...?"

I took his phone and played the audio file.

"Kyaaaaaaa!"

Ryuah, still standing her punishment, shrieked. The cutesy Ryuah, the one with hearts popping in her eyes, had been so much cuter. Working Ryuah was, how to put it, far too stiff.

"Don't listen! Turn it off, hurry! I mean iiit!!"

"The person in question says she wants it deleted, Doc Noooh~"

Still screaming, Ryuah lunged in and snatched the phone. Doc Noh, sunk into gloom by the contrast, opened his mouth with grim resolve.

"Ryuah. Bunny girl."

Ryuah... bunny girl?

Was he offering to show me Ryuah in a bunny-girl outfit? Even then, she'd only be ten to thirty times a regular Ryuah...

"Ryuah. The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Dongtan look."

I swallowed. Now this, I decided, left ample room for negotiation. It wasn't even footage of her face. A little audio was nothing...

"Doc Noh, in that case..."

Before my terms could leave my mouth, I caught the alert on the phone in Ryuah's hand.

She didn't give anyone time to stop her.

"Delete. Delete. Delete."

And with that, there was nothing left to negotiate.

"Should I have gone all the way to bunny-boy Inkyu-gun..."

Sorry?

Bunny boy?

The sound of Ryuah swallowing put me on edge.

I am never becoming a bunny boy, Ryuah...

And so the morning passed in disinfecting the wound and a round of simple questions. Most of them were about what had happened between Ryuah and me at dawn...

"Ms. Ryuah. Would you go to the treatment room and bring a little more ointment?"

The moment she was gone, I slipped in what I'd been meaning to say.

"Doc Noh, would it be all right if I went out by myself?"

The playfulness still lingering on his face settled.

"Without Ms. Ryuah?"

"Yes. I just thought I might try walking on my own."

"Hmm... well, if it's only during the day... If anything strange happens, hit the emergency call right away."

"Then you're giving me permission?"

"Frankly, if you've got the skill to overpower Ryuah, I don't see much reason to worry about you, Inkyu-gun."

Overpower. The word sat a little strangely. I preferred to think of it as something we'd both agreed to. Probably...

"Well then, this matter's nicely settled, so do explain things properly to your mother~"

"Then I'll see you again next week, Doc Noh~"

Ryuah, her anger not yet cooled, stuck her lip out and wouldn't even say goodbye.

"Come on, say goodbye, Ms. Ryuah."

She gave a stiff little bow. Her range of expression had gotten richer, which was nice... and well, she was cute, so that settled it.

"Ryuah's anger... it'll have cooled by next week, right. We'll be going."

On the walk home from the parked car, Ryuah stole a glance at my neck.

"Keep that on even after you're home."

I ran a fingertip along the edge of the enormous patch. At this size it felt less like something covered and more like I was walking around with a billboard strapped to me.

"If my mother asks, what do I say?"

"Tell her you fell."

"On my neck?"

"Then be careful she doesn't ask."

Ryuah walked with her eyes fixed straight ahead. She didn't even seem to notice that her earlobes had gone red.

When we reached the house, Mom came all the way to the entryway to meet us.

"You're earlier than I expected. Nothing happened?"

"Nope. They said it all got sorted out~"

Mother's gaze stopped on my neck.

"What's that?"

"I fell."

"Hmm~"

From beside me came the small sound of Ryuah breathing. Mother looked from my face to the patch and back, then stepped aside without another question and told us to come in.

"Both of you, come inside and rest a little."

The word rest seemed to land with a little extra weight. She must have been worrying about me a great deal.

Leaving Ryuah at my side, I pulled Mom into a hug. Soft and warm, and I went drowsy in it.

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Mom."

Caught off guard by the sudden embrace, her shoulders flinched.

"Nnh...♥ Ah...♥ N-no, Mommy wasn't worried one bit, okay?"

As if the unexpected gesture had pleased her, her voice climbed at once, and bright, sunny Mom was back. Maman!

"No, I should have been more careful."

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm~♥ No! My boy didn't do a single thing wrong! Don't you blame yourself!"

Hehe... soft, squishy Maman. I sucked in a breath. No. Snap out of it. Every time I caught Mom's scent, my head went strange—the heavy, drifting feeling of being about to fall asleep.

"Um... ma'am... maybe we ought to go inside first..."

Ryuah, watching the warm mother-and-son scene from behind, finally spoke.

"Oh my, Ryuah, dear, come in, come in~ You too, son~"

We stepped into the house with Mom, who had unmistakably grown kinder toward Ryuah as well. What was good was good enough.

"I'll go to my room and sort some documents."

"Mom, I'm going to sleep a little longer. The bed there was uncomfortable, so I didn't really get any rest."

"Okay! Sure, I'll wake you when it's about time for dinner~"

At the sight of her opening her arms, bright with energy, I stepped into them once more.

"Mmph."

Mom buried my face against her chest and stroked my hair. It was a little hard to breathe, but the softness felt nice.

"I love you, always..."

"Mwuh... ah-wuv-oo..."

Which was to say, I love you too.

"It's been so long since I held you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠like this... Sleep well."

The door creaked. The moving reunion over, I went into my room, and there on the desk lay the diary I'd left half-read last time—days I didn't remember, packed tight from margin to margin. I picked up a pen, meaning to write a new piece of myself onto the end of it, but I simply couldn't bring myself to go on. The me of that time might really have been suffering. I ought to buy a new diary.

I gave up on what I'd been about to do, and exhaustion carried me to the bed. I dropped onto it. Wrapped in a scent I loved, nothing like Ryuah's, my eyes slid shut, heavy and warm.

Mom, Ryuah, and me. An evening table for three.

"I was thinking of stopping by the bookstore at the station tomorrow."

"Then should Mommy take tomorrow off too?"

"As his protection officer, I'll accompany him."

Mom, ready to spend a day of leave as if it were the obvious thing, and Ryuah's face, already calculating tomorrow's schedule.

"No. I'll go by myself."

Every pair of chopsticks went still.

"It's not far. There are just a few personal things I'd like to pick up."

"Inkyu, you're still under protective supervision."

"Doc Noh already cleared that."

Probably he'd only allowed it because of what had happened with Ryuah, but still.

"If anything dangerous comes up, I'll call right away."

Mother couldn't answer at once. Ryuah's lips parted too, as if she wanted to stop me, but in the end she said nothing.

"I want to try doing it alone. Just once."

Only then did Mother give a small nod.

The next day, while I put my shoes on at the door, I heard the same warnings about three times. Had I brought my phone. Would I call if I got lost. Would I come straight back from the bookstore.

"Don't worry so much~"

When I opened the door, Ms. Ryuah took one step back. Close enough that she could have followed. But she stayed where she was.

"I'll be back~"

"Come back safely, Inkyu."

Only after I watched her waving until the elevator doors slid shut did it feel real.

I was truly alone.

The way to the station was short, but to me it felt like a landscape I was seeing for the first time. People hurrying to work, a clerk stacking boxes just delivered, even the laborers at a construction site. A world in which every one of them was a woman.

Yeah. Not a single man in sight.

The displays outside the shops were filled with posters of prettily dressed men. The gym, by contrast, was advertising a female trainer pumped full of muscle. A street that left me wondering whether I was the abnormal one.

"Huh?"

A face I was sure I'd seen before was coming from the other side of the street, a protection officer at his side. He was wearing a mask, but I definitely knew him. Wait... where had I seen him...? Right.Room 903.

"Oh, you're that friend from back then, right?"

"Aaah! Inkyu~"

A petite, pretty young man threw himself into my arms. Well—how to put it—I still had to return the greeting...

"Uh, yeah, long time no see~"

"I heard you got discharged!"

"Yeah. I'm staying at home now."

"Ehh... home? That must be really hard on you, Inkyu..."

Even the way he talked was cute. More like a much younger little brother.

"What was your name again...? You'd collapsed, so I don't really remember."

"Yoon Seo-woo. Call me Seowoo!"

And he'd been stuck to me this whole time, not letting go...

"Uh... Seowoo, could you back up a little for now?"

Something about it felt like it was about to get weird.

"Huh? Inkyu, sorry, was I too warm? Hehe."

"Mr. Seowoo. We're running a little behind for the café."

The protection officer, who had only been watching from the side, cut in.

"Then push back the time we're due at the Center."

Nothing like the voice he'd used with me. Seowoo had gone ice-cold.

"Wanna come too, Inkyu?"

"Sounds good. I was just missing coffee."

The door opened on a clear chime of bells. Morning sunlight lay slanted across the window seats, lighting the two young men at the table.

Right. Me and Seowoo... the two of us...

Pale green leaves grew in the pots lined along the cream-colored walls, and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠freshly baked pastries sat in neat rows in the case beside the register. A faint scent of butter threaded through the coffee, all the way down to the sound of a cup meeting its saucer. Like a painting.

A scene straight out of a boys' love story!

A restless murmur rose—all the way out to the women lined up beyond the window.

"Mr. Seowoo. Women are gathering outside the café. Shall I lower the blinds?"

"What do you think, Inkyu?"

"Just leave them. The sunlight feels nice. I don't particularly want to block it."

Surprise flickered across the protection officer's face, as if she hadn't expected that.

"You're not scared, Inkyu?"

"Not at all. If anything, not remembering makes it easier."

Mm. Good beans. It tasted wonderful. I should come back with Ryuah.

"And where has your protection officer gone off to?"

"I wanted some time to myself today."

"Huh?"

"There's something I need to buy."

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Mr. Seowoo. A crowd has gathered outside. Let's move to the back door we scouted ahead of time."

"All right. You coming too, Inkyu?"

"Should I? Now that I look, those people were watching us."

I was starting to understand it now. Protection officers who guarded men, and women outside tapping on the glass. A man was the one holding the advantage—and at the same time, the one left exposed to danger.

Hayeon, just out of the station, steered around the people gathered in front of the café. Wondering if there was something worth staring at, she glanced through the window—and saw a familiar face. A face like the older brother who had shut himself in his room for years.

Inside the café, a man who looked like her brother sat facing an unfamiliar young man. A face that paid no mind to the eyes beyond the glass. The brother she remembered couldn't even have sat in a place like that.

When she pushed back through the crowd and looked again, the two of them were already getting up. A moment later, following the protection officer's lead, they vanished from sight.

Hayeon stared at the empty table for a long while.

"Just someone who looks like him..."

She said it, and still, the whole way home, she kept turning to look back.