The Reason I Can't Go Back (1)
Allen asked in a trembling voice.
"What...?"
Yushin replied.
"I've decided to stay in the Elf Kingdom. It's true—the elves are saying I refused to return on my own."
"W-what are you talking about...? You're one of the Kingdom's Seven Swords..."
It was incomprehensible. Utterly beyond understanding. She ruffled her own hair in frustration. Allen's eyes quivered wide, like a child who'd lost her only parent to lean on, utterly at a loss.
Then what about everything I've done...? What about the eager anticipation that kept me up at night, dreaming of seeing you again...? What about the hope that when we finally reunited, that's when we could finally be together...? So what am I supposed to do with all these feelings I've harbored until now...!
"You've been brainwashed, right? Those elves threatened you! You said your subordinates were taken to the Elf Kingdom! They must be holding their lives over your head to force you to refuse. Don't worry—I'll take responsibility and rescue your men myself..."
"You're not wrong. But that's not the only reason."
Yushin explained how he and his subordinates had been sacrificed by Second Prince Alpons. They'd been left behind on the battlefield. Prince Alpons had deliberately driven his own allies to their deaths, feeding them to the elves. There was no way that idiot prince had acted alone. There had to be shadowy figures pulling the strings behind him. Until he knew who they were, returning to the kingdom would just put him in danger again.
And for the sake of his men still in the Elf Kingdom, he couldn't go back.
"Prince Alpons? I'll kill him!"
Allen shouted. Her two hands gripped the hilt of her bastard sword, trembling uncontrollably.
"That pig tried to kill you, didn't he? I'm not like those kingdom loyalists in my family. Anyone who touches you, even a prince, gets killed. We just need to slaughter the pig that's getting in our way."
Allen's killing intent shifted away from the elves, zeroing in on Prince Alpons. The elves were just an indirect factor. The one who'd planned it all, who'd forced this life-or-death separation on her and Yushin—it was Alpons. Second prince of the kingdom or not, she could never forgive him. Without hesitation, Allen declared she'd kill Alpons. Her reaction left no doubt—it was the absolute truth, no lies. She meant it with every fiber of her being.
"You're from the Rocksfield family, Allen."
"Who cares about that crap! Loyalty to the royal family? Sacrifice? That's all stuff my dad force-fed me! I've never once been loyal to the royals!"
If it meant bringing Yushin back to the Valua Kingdom, she'd do anything. A prince? She'd kill him right now. There was no reason she couldn't. Sure, assassinating Prince Alpons would shatter the Rocksfield family's honor and prestige, built over generations of loyalty to the Valua royals—but Allen couldn't care less. All she craved was for Yushin to return, to stay by her side like before.
"Don't go, big bro... I'll do better... Please, just...!"
Allen burst into tears. Her voice cracked with sobs. Tears welled up on her pale cheeks, dripping down one by one.
Ardena couldn't help but gasp at the sight. That ferocious monster, shedding tears! Before Yushin, Allen had transformed into an emotional girl, terrified of him leaving her side forever.
"It's me again, isn't it? I'm the reason big bro's in trouble again. Do you hate me now? I'll be good from now on. I'll be a better little sister who listens... Please don't abandon me. I can't live without you, big bro."
She dropped her bastard sword. Let go of the hilt herself. Then, with trembling hands, she desperately clutched at Yushin's clothes. Pitifully, endlessly, pleadingly. Sobbing nonstop, she begged him not to abandon her. To keep her by his side until the end. She'd do anything for that—Allen clung to him desperately.
Allen had first met Yushin when she was seventeen. She remembered it vividly: the man who'd approached her without hesitation, despite her being known as the Rocksfield mad dog, the armored monster, an object of terror.
"I'm your new instructor. Call me Master from now on."
At the time, Yushin was the seventh of the Kingdom's Seven Swords, a rising star who'd earned his spot under his master, Heinkel. And that rising star had become her educator, at the request of her father, Troyed Rocksfield, head of the Rocksfield family.
Allen had been showered with expectations since childhood. Just a week after picking up a sword, she'd defeated every elite knight in the Rocksfield family—the tale had set the Valua Kingdom abuzz.
"Fine, then die!"
But her talent had a fatal flaw. Allen Rocksfield's gifts only shone in taking lives. She'd killed her swordmaster. Then every instructor hired by the Rocksfields after. Her talent was utterly fixated on slaughter. A heavenly killer star, perhaps. No different from a blood-mad monster.
Teaching a sword to such a monster meant risking your life.
"Charging in blindly is dangerous."
But Allen lost. Yushin subdued her effortlessly after the first clash. The knight called Rocksfield's mad dog lay pinned to the dirt, Yushin sitting on her with his butt planted firmly on her body. If her father, Troyed, had seen it, his eyes would've bulged out in rage.
"I'll kill you! Get off me now!!"
"Looks like your reins are too loose."
Thwack! He struck her head with the wooden sword. But it only fueled her fury—Allen's struggles grew fiercer. Yushin kept swinging in response to her wild thrashing. That was the first day Allen Rocksfield's head got cracked open. Blood streamed from the gash, but she wouldn't stop kicking. Yushin, stubborn as ever, egged her on: Let's see who wins.
"What, you got no friends?"
The next day, Yushin asked. Sadly, the girl dubbed Rocksfield's mad dog had no one she could call a friend. She had three older brothers, but after watching her butcher her swordmasters so brutally, they all avoided their little sister.
"...I don't need friends."
"I thought the same back in school. But nah, loneliness is loneliness. You can say you don't need 'em, but you'll still end up lonely."
Yushin shrugged as he said it. The words pierced her heart—Allen's face twisted.
"So what?"
"I'll be your friend."
"Friend? You're older than me."
"Call me big bro, then."
"Over my dead body."
Yushin had trained under the kingdom's greatest swordsman, Heinkel. After grueling effort, he'd ascended to the Kingdom's Seven Swords—and it sparked a desire in him to teach others, just like his master. So he taught Allen. To him, she was his first disciple.
Everyone opposed it. Allen Rocksfield was a born monster who loved killing. Teaching her the sword would breed disaster, threatening the kingdom's peace, they warned.
"I'll kill you, Yushin Gilliard."
"Remember our first meeting? You were bawling after I cracked your skull—don't act tough."
"I'll kill you!"
Allen raised her sword. Gripped it with both hands and charged Yushin. No matter how hard she swung, she couldn't win against him. To Allen, Yushin was special, utterly alien. Famous swordsmen across the kingdom always crumpled pathetically before her blade, begging for mercy. But not him. The opposite—he beat her down thoroughly and taunted her.
"Why are you teaching me?"
"Your dad asked me to."
After sparring, covered in dirt as usual, Allen asked. Yushin answered casually.
"I'm a monster! A killer! I don't even know why—when I come to, I've killed someone. Every time I pick up a sword, my hands are soaked in blood!"
It was the hallmark of a heavenly killer star. Hearing her scream, Yushin realized she was born under that cursed fate. But he didn't abandon teaching her.
My master Heinkel never gave up on a hopeless case like me. He stuck with me until I made the Seven Swords. I'll do the same for this girl—teach her until she joins the Seven Swords.
"That's because you can't control your talent yet. Like a kid holding a sharp dagger. Scared of stabbing someone? Learn to swing it first."
"Easy for you to say..."
"Sadly, I know a guy who almost ruined himself letting his talent run wild. His master never quit on him. So I won't quit on you."
She'd thought he'd betray her someday, call her a monster and fear her like everyone else. But he was different. He truly cared. To her, finger-pointed as a monster and shunned in terror—even by family—he was her sole salvation. He taught her emotions. Helped her conquer loneliness. Showed her possibilities.
"Fine, do whatever!"
His sincerity crumbled Allen's last walls against him.
Yushin half-forcibly received the lightning-charged sword from Allen.
Lightning Sword Karus.
Just as Allen, second of the Kingdom's Seven Swords, had received Dragon Pursuer from the Valua royals, Karus was the famed blade bestowed upon Yushin by the Valua royals.
Rumble rumble roooar!!
With a thunderous roar, the Lightning Sword responded. As if welcoming its long-lost master, thunder boomed endlessly.
The lightning Allen had unleashed now converged back into the blade.
"You won't ever have to return to the Valua Kingdom again. One of the Seven Swords, turned deserter in an instant."
Yushin said. Allen screamed back.
"You promised you wouldn't abandon me...!"
"That was until you became one of the Seven Swords. You did it brilliantly. You're still hot-headed, but now you can control that innate killing urge."
Her chest throbbed. Like a dagger carving out her heart. Allen clutched it with one hand. Her heart pounded like it would burst. Blood boiled. Murderous love surged, ready to explode.
Fierce love and killing intent were a paper-thin line apart. In Allen's heart now, love and murder coexisted.
"There's a kid I'm teaching in the Elf Kingdom."
"What about me? I'm your disciple too! Why pick that damn elf over me?"
"You've already graduated."
"Says who! I won't give up! I can't give up on you, big bro! I won't let you go to elf territory—never!"
Allen yelled. She snatched up the dropped bastard sword and aimed the shaking blade at Yushin's throat. Her body trembled. Yushin, blade directly at his neck, stayed calm—while Allen couldn't hide her quivering eyes, lost in turmoil.
"Is that so...?"
Yushin swung. His blue-lightning sword slashed out, knocking away the bastard sword at his throat. Thunder crashed deafeningly. Worlds apart from Allen's brute-force lightning. His was swift, sharp, and blazed fiercely.