ep13. Blood Rains (6)

"I'm not ruling out the possibility."

Cha Si-eon's low voice left me momentarily speechless.

"I am prioritizing Seo Do-woon's survival above all else. But it is not for Seo Do-woon's own sake. Is that explanation sufficient?"

It was sufficient.

Everything he'd done so far made sense now, too.

But agreeing with it and endorsing it were two entirely separate matters.

"Why didn't you tell me this from the start?"

"Nothing would have changed by saying it."

"You did look for another way, didn't you?"

"Which is why I didn't. It seemed like a pointless waste of time."

"……!"

"The situation is bad. Communications are down, escape can't be guaranteed, and we lack information about what comes after the overhaul. On top of that, a named Hazard Entity has its sights set on us. This is not the time to leisurely try one option after another like before. So I chose the most conservative approach available."

Fine. I understood what he was saying.

If ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠we both tried to survive, the odds were high that we'd both die.

But if one of us resolved to save only the other, and the one left behind shouldered the risk, then at least one person's survival rate would climb.

That was everything Cha Si-eon had been doing until now.

Thanks to him, I'd cleared stage after stage without burning a shred of stamina.

And along the way, I'd committed this space's clear methods to memory.

Even if we failed to escape and the Rain of Blood came down, at least the next dawn would be safe.

The Big Cat was hunting Cha Si-eon, and Cha Si-eon had already steeled himself to be the bait.

Yeah. I understood your intentions perfectly.

In the end, you were saying you'd burn your own body down like tinder to keep me alive.

"Let me say it again — this is not for Seo Do-woon's sake. So don't go feeling some pointless sense of responsibility. Follow my orders. Didn't you say yourself, with your own mouth, that you're an important figure?"

Cha Si-eon forced the words ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out through clenched teeth.

He was pressing both hands against his temples — the headache must have been flaring up again.

Damn it. I had no counterargument.

Just as he'd said, Cha Si-eon wasn't looking out for me for my sake.

It was the mere possibility that I might unravel the clues of the Special Zone.

He was simply clutching at that possibility.

And if it meant stopping the Special Zone, then a Bureau agent's life was hardly worth sparing.

The calculation was that lucid.

"Hold on, Team Leader."

But I still couldn't bring myself to accept it.

"Your premise is wrong from the ground up. Why exactly am I an important figure? It's a *speculation* that being dragged through the Special Zones might feed me some kind of hint. Am I wrong?"

At my words, Cha Si-eon glared at me with effort.

His eyes, barely managing to focus, were so bloodshot they looked ready to bleed.

I met those eyes head-on and pressed on.

"And I was pulled here, of all places. Right in front of you, carrying food no less. What do you suppose that means?"

"……."

"I read it as meaning I'm supposed to survive and escape *with* you, Team Leader."

That possibility you were both clutching at.

It had drawn me in and thrown its spotlight on you, Cha Si-eon.

So you had to live, too.

If you believed in that possibility, then this much conviction was the least you owed it.

"If that were true, the answer should have revealed itself by now. But nothing has changed since you arrived."

"……."

"The spatial rules remain exactly as they were, and you haven't figured out anything new. Have you?"

This time, Cha Si-eon's rebuttal was what left me speechless.

We made a fine picture, trading silences back and forth.

"So you must never blindly trust the situation. Whether it's an opportunity or a trap, you have to judge it anew every moment."

Damn it. So this time it's a trap, not a hint, is that it?

So you'll throw your body into the fire first, and after that I'm supposed to survive on my own?

"This isn't blind trust, Team Leader — it's that your judgment is far too extreme. One extra day isn't going to work some miracle for me, so why stake your own life on a possibility that uncertain?"

I raised my voice, feeling the conversation spiral uselessly off course.

"Is the math actually in your favor here? You, of all people, should be judging this with a clear head—!"

But the words in my mouth never made it all the way out.

Thud—!

Cha Si-eon had seized me by the collar and slammed me into the wall.

"……!"

Once again, hours after the last time, my throat was pinned under pressure.

Cha Si-eon glared down at me with a face far more feral than it had been hours ago.

His eyes, beyond bloodshot and now flushed with actual blood, rumbled like a cornered beast.

"Then just take it and make do."

"You insane— kgh!"

"If you're this weak, then look the situation in the eye and take what you're given."

"……."

I struggled on reflex, then stopped.

And I looked up at Cha Si-eon, half-turned away from me.

He stared at me for a moment longer, then released my collar and took a step back.

Then he turned his body away, as if refusing to face what he'd just done.

What came flooding over me in the wake of that turned back was neither humiliation nor anger.

Pity for that thick-headed fool? Certainly not that.

What swept over me was familiarity.

A sense of déjà vu born from an old memory.

That's right.

I had hated Cha Si-eon from the very beginning.

But it hadn't been entirely his fault.

If anything, it was because he *resembled* someone.

Certain turns of phrase, certain moods — they were so painfully, horribly alike that every time I looked at him, I found myself remembering.

My beloved father, who had already passed on.

17:03. Cleared the twenty-fifth zone.

"Hoo… hah…"

Cha Si-eon no longer bothered to hide his ragged breathing.

I, in turn, stopped asking whether he was all right.

18:11. Cleared the twenty-ninth zone.

The Faceless One drove its sharp hands deep into Cha Si-eon.

But he stanched and treated the wound on his own.

19:01. Cleared the thirty-first zone.

The pace of clearing stages had slowed considerably.

So had Cha Si-eon's movements.

Watching the small mistakes pile up, I understood instinctively.

Not much left. That man was going to die soon.

It was the common trait of his breed — the self-appointed, the arrogant.

They rise fast, and they fall just as fast.

So there was no need to hate them, really.

They were short-lived by nature; wait a little and they'd die on their own.

There was nothing in it for me to lose.

He'd built this whole arrangement to save me by burning his own life — how could that possibly cost me anything?

I didn't have it in me to grieve Cha Si-eon's death, anyway.

I could have felt a sense of duty about it, but he had stripped away even that motivation with his own hands.

So there was truly nothing bad about my position.

All I had to do, as he'd said, was take it and make do.

And I was perfectly capable of doing that without blinking.

Letting a death brush close against mine pass without a flicker of pity — that had always been one of my talents.

19:42. Cleared the thirty-fourth zone.

When we came out of the zone, the sun was setting.

The sky here, it seemed, drew a proper line between day and night.

I gazed up at the indigo sky and the clouds stained crimson, then checked the time.

It seemed the moment had come, so for the first time in hours, I opened my mouth.

"Five minutes are up."

"……."

At my announcement that the break was over, Cha Si-eon forced his body upright.

Every motion screamed how hard it was just to hold himself together.

I watched the spectacle for a moment, then walked over to him.

And I held out my hand to the man who still couldn't rise.

It wasn't meant as a helping hand.

"Endure it. Wasn't this your own choice?"

Cha Si-eon looked slowly back and forth between my face and my hand.

In my hand was a pill bottle.

"……."

Without a word, Cha Si-eon opened his palm, and I poured the pills into it.

"Rest five more minutes, until the medicine kicks in."

I said it after confirming he'd swallowed them.

Then I turned back to the sunset, and my stomach began to grumble.

So I dug through the plastic bag, fished out a snack, and started eating.

I was snapping a long, stick-shaped snack into pieces when the sound of a collapsing rice sack came from beside me.

Ssssk— thud—!

It was Cha Si-eon, slumping down the wall he'd been leaning against.

Like the Little Mermaid, he was thrashing with all his might to right his tilted posture.

But his trembling arms could barely hold up his own body.

I admired the marvelous spectacle while calmly munching my snack.

When I did nothing but watch with perfect composure, Cha Si-eon asked me, half in disbelief:

"What was the pill you gave me just now……?"

"A sedative."

"……!"

Horror washed over Cha Si-eon's face.

Ah, this was a sight worth seeing. Truly a first.

"Have you lost your mind……!"

"I never once called it aspirin. If you can't even tell one pill from another, Team Leader, you may as well just sleep."

Despite my well-meant advice, Cha Si-eon ignored it entirely and planted both palms on the floor, straining to rise by sheer will.

So I stood up first.

Then I kicked one of his supporting arms clean out from under him.

Thud—!

Cha Si-eon's face met the floor.

He stared up at me with an expression of pure incomprehension, then quickly growled my name with all the menace he could muster.

"Seo Do-woon……!"

Sorry, but that wasn't scary.

He was a tranquilized tiger snarling in its sleep.

He lunged to snatch my ankle, and I took a step back.

Though honestly, it wouldn't have mattered if he'd caught me.

The man couldn't even lift his own eyelids; he was gasping for air.

"Well, since it's come to this, get some rest. No student who pulls all-nighters has ever actually been good at studying."

"What the hell is that…… is this the time for jokes……?"

"Who's joking about something their own life depends on? Proper rest and resupply are strategy too. Did they not teach you that in the military?"

"And who's the one interfering with my rest……!"

Interfering?

Oh. Was sitting there at the start supposed to be resting? My mistake — I had no idea.

"Can't even read the situation…… pulling this kind of stunt……!"

Cha Si-eon gritted his teeth and glared daggers at me.

Ha. He really was clinging to consciousness with spiteful stubbornness.

I pulled a handkerchief from my vest and unfolded it.

Then, as one might for the dearly departed, I laid it gently over Cha Si-eon's face.

"Get some sleep, Team Leader. I'll wake you when it's time."

"Ngh……!"

So much better now that I couldn't see his face.

He'd gone quiet, too.

With his vision blocked, the drowsiness seemed to come crashing down on him in earnest.

That's right, Cha Si-eon — you who resemble my father.

Stop enduring and just sleep.

Who is all this stubbornness even for?

I was genuinely confident.

Confident that if you died, I'd be perfectly fine.

But there might be others who weren't.

There were people out there desperately awaiting your return from the brink.

And I, too, had no wish to deliberately scorn any ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠man's death.

So rest, you fool.

The world won't vanish just because you close your eyes.

"You son of a bitch……"

"……."

Persistent. Seriously.

"Never listens to a damn word…… doomed bastard……"

Cha Si-eon had begun to mutter like a man under surgical anesthesia.

"From the very start…… every little thing about you…… gets on my nerves……"

And yet every single curse was aimed at me.

Exasperated, I asked the half-conscious man:

"What on earth did I ever do to you?"

I was genuinely asking, because I genuinely didn't know.

Did I act as arrogant as you? Was I pointlessly snippy with you?

Was it the pills just now? You'd already done the same thing to me, for what it's worth.

"You butted in……"

"……?"

"Into my business…… why……"

What was that supposed to mean?

I turned the fragments of his words over in my head for a while.

Then something Baek Sa-ra had once said came back to me.

"But he's not really the type with a huge ego."

"You did what Team Leader Cha couldn't, Agent ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Otter."

Could it be — the same thing?

I thought it over carefully, then asked, half in doubt:

"Is this about Lee Sol, by any chance?"

"How do you know about that…… damned nuisance……"

……Wait. Is this guy actually unconscious or not?

He's not just venting every curse he's ever wanted to say while he has the chance, is he?

I was floored, so I asked again, clearly and deliberately.

"Are you resentful that I saved Lee Sol instead of you?"

"Shut up…… you f—ing……"

"……."

What a shame my smartwatch was dead.

I should be recording all of this to play back for him later.

Then again, it didn't strictly have to be an audio recording.

An alternative had just occurred to me, so I checked the time first.

Then I opened my notebook and wrote.