Chapter 75
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 75
Chapter Title: Magical Mock Battle (1)
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The situation unfolded way too suddenly.
Right after coming back from the café like any other day, my dorm mates started dragging me off to some place I didn't even know existed.
"Senior, we gotta hurry!"
"We're gonna be late!"
"Inferior species! Run faster!"
It was more like they were hauling me along than anything else.
Especially since Sora had grabbed my wrist and was sprinting, my feet barely touched the ground.
"Hey, let go and let me run!"
"It's because you're slow, Senior! A guy's not gonna outrun us girls anyway!"
"Fair point."
And then, midway through, I smashed my head into some sudden obstacle that popped up.
"Ow, shit."
"Sorry! But we can't stop now! Just hang in there a bit longer, Senior!"
In the midst of all that, Sora suddenly went dead serious and started talking to me between breaths.
"Senior, what the heck did you show Muyong? I had no idea it'd trigger a Magical brain aneurysm like that."
"Let go first, then ask. Please."
"No can do. This is seriously urgent."
In Rez's case, I'd only shown her the 'royal seal,' but she'd just keeled over on the spot.
Magical brain aneurysm my ass—it looked more like some chronic condition flaring up. Well, mental case like her, wouldn't be surprised if she had a few preexisting issues.
Anyway.
Thanks to that, my head was a total mess. The situation was confusing enough already, and getting smacked in the skull didn't help my thinking either.
By the time I snapped out of it, we'd arrived at some kinda weird spot.
Hard to pin down exactly, but comparing it to military facilities I'd seen, it was like a massive gym crossed with a shooting range—pretty rundown, too.
Only, it was decorated all cute and cozy, which made it look a bit like a full-on insane asylum.
Meanwhile, Whitey, Sora, and Octopus were all panting hard, letting out sighs of relief.
"Phew, made it without being late..."
"That was close... way too close..."
"...Almost fucked up there. Slipped my mind."
What the hell had everyone so worked up about?
"What's the big deal? And where the hell are we?"
"They'll explain everything once we get inside. Come on, let's go."
Half-shoved by Sora, I stumbled into the gym-like building.
Inside, there were tons of Magical Girls paired up in groups of four or five. Probably organized by dorm units.
I had no clue why they were gathered, but at least I knew what this place was now.
【Magical Training Ground Accident-Free: 3012 Days】
So, this was the training ground.
Right on cue, a Captain Magical Girl stepped up to the podium, grabbed the mic, and started speaking.
"We will now begin the Magical briefing."
The rowdy atmosphere settled in an instant. The Captain cleared her throat and continued.
"As of this moment, we will commence the Magical Mock Battle."
Just one line, but I could kinda guess where this was going.
Mock battle meant simulated fights between Magical Girls. Probably to test their skills and patch up weaknesses.
Not a bad idea, really.
If it boosted their combat power, it'd make monster hunts that much easier.
"The Magical Mock Battle will take place in the simulation rooms at the back, same as always."
Sure enough, behind the Captain was a row of rooms, each a bit bigger than a tennis court.
Like mock training in the army back in the day. Well, similar in name only—probably worlds apart in practice.
"Hey, is this seriously such a big deal?"
"Yeah, entry's optional, but skipping means all your leave gets axed. My life's basically over otherwise."
No wonder everyone was so desperate to join. Especially Whitey, who needed her downtime more than most.
Basically mandatory.
"Plus, if even one person's missing, the whole dorm takes the hit. That's why we had to drag you like that earlier."
"Ah, got it."
Now it made sense why everyone was in such a panic—and why Sora resorted to manhandling me.
Regiment-level accountability still existed, huh.
Magical Girls or army, no real difference.
"The format is a Magical Captain's Duel. To select your opponent, one dorm designates another."
That caught me off guard a bit.
I figured it'd be team fights, not one-on-one captain duels.
"Shouldn't it be everyone fighting together?"
"That's the standard doctrine, sure. But mock battles run virtually in the sim rooms."
"And?"
"Multiple people entering at once taxes the processing power too much. Electricity bill skyrockets, so no choice."
In other words, pinching pennies.
Explained why those admin Magical Girls were obsessed with recycling paper earlier. Budget thriftiness went all the way up here.
Whatever. I'd been soloing everything so far, so the setup worked fine for me.
"You can decline a challenge, but it'll bump your slot to the very end. Keep that in mind."
Still, fighting every single group here once? That sounded exhausting.
"Octopus, do we seriously have to duel everyone here?"
"Nah, inferior species. One fight per dorm, then feedback session. Done."
Phew, that was a relief.
Honestly, taking on that many even at my peak would've been a chore.
Well, just a bit of one.
I could've handled it if I had to.
Peak me was no joke, after all.
"You can set one Magical condition per mock battle. Duplicates allowed, so battles will run with a minimum of one or maximum of two conditions."
No sooner had the Captain finished than a big screen popped up beside her.
"These are the available Magical conditions."
Surprisingly varied options.
Not just visible stuff like terrain or obstacles— even fuzzy ones like gravity or visibility were tweakable.
For me, cramped spaces loaded with cover sounded ideal. I needed to close in, and ambushes were my thing.
Right then, two items at the bottom of the condition list got highlighted.
One: Private Mode.
The other: Magical Safety OFF.
"Selecting Private Mode means the battle won't be recorded. Complete isolation from outside and inside until it ends. Feel free if you want."
But, the Captain added,
"Note that you won't get feedback in that case."
Weird to have that in a training mock battle meant for improvement.
Nothing beat post-fight analysis for objective self-review.
But the next one was even stranger.
"Absolutely do not select Magical Safety OFF. Do that, and it's not a mock battle—it's real combat. I'm repeating myself: do not pick it."
Why even have an option to disable safety?
What if someone got seriously hurt?
"Shouldn't that second one not even exist? First one's debatable, but that?"
"Delete it, and everything crashes. Can't refactor at this point."
"Ah, tangled code."
Practical answer, surprisingly.
Made sense. Mess with one thing, and it all unravels—better leave it be.
"Defense contractor corruption forced a rushed commit on Magical Day, blew everything up. Company's already liquidated."
Of course, not just a coding issue—plenty of other crap too.
Army life, past or present, never changed.
Breathe, and corruption's everywhere.
Humans gonna human, after all.
One question lingered, though.
"What's in it for the winners? Anyone know?"
Why bother trying hard?
Just forfeit and call it a day.
"Winning dorm gets exempt from most duties."
"Snow clearing too?"
"Obviously. Winners kick back while us inferior species slave away."
Explained the fierce glints in the other Magical Girls' eyes.
Skip duty? Army or Magical Girls, anyone'd fight tooth and nail. Sounded like no death risk in sims anyway.
Only gripe: spatial limits felt unfair. Though expecting fairness from military Magical Girls was laughable to begin with.
"Limited space means frontline types have the edge, right?"
"Sim battles are loose on constraints. Some limits, sure."
"Basically none. And virtual, so no pain either?"
"Nah. Pain sensors transmit it full-force."
Funny place to go realistic.
Still, for real-combat prep, it tracked.
"Guessed the reason, but pain sim's pretty advanced."
"Gotta conquer pain to reach Nirvana. Essential feature."
Couldn't follow Octopus's logic at all.
This kid never dropped her guard.
Then, the Captain wrapped up, mentioning "finally."
"Lastly, once a Magical Mock Battle starts, it ends only when the time limit hits or one side gets combat-incapable."
With that, she kicked off the real action.
"Select your opponent dorms now. Head to the sim rooms once decided."
Her speech was done, so time to move fast.
Plenty of sim rooms, but not enough for all these Magical Girls.
First come, first served.
"Pick quick and wrap this up. Any prefs?"
Right then, Whitey pointed at one Magical Girl.
"That Maho girl's dorm. Others aren't too tough, but she's a total pushover."
She looked creepy as hell.
Fidgety too—being near her might give you depression.
Honestly, kinda bummed me out.
"What's her deal?"
"Time Magical Girl."
"You psycho, how do you even beat that?"
Knew Whitey picked hard counters, but this?
Time manipulation? Good luck.
"No corpse, no dice."
"Oh, that time."
Explained the fidgeting. No body, no magic.
She was muttering gloomily now—clearly cracking under pressure.
"Ugh, big problem. That spot's too ticklish."
"Fuck off."
Sexual frustration, plain and simple.
Or blue-balled.
Motivation tanked. Anything better than fighting that mess?
Even sims, she'd probably infect you with it.
Meanwhile, Whitey grinned ear-to-ear, ignoring my sour face, and headed for that Magical Girl's dorm.
"Huh? What? Incoming?"
Got blocked immediately.
"Hold it."
By a yellow messy-haired Magical Girl with a curt tone.
Yeah. One I'd seen before.
From the group bullying Octopus.
The one my gut told me to avoid.
She ignored Whitey's confused mug, brushed past, and stopped dead in front of me.
"I challenge you to a Magical Mock Battle."
Then pointed right at me.
No hesitation. Straight at yours truly.