Chapter 72
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 72
Chapter Title: Interlude - Birth of the Magical Demon King
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A short while after the cooking contest.
"Hey, you fucking assholes!!!"
In the dead of night, curses suddenly echoed through the dorm.
The one hurling them at us was none other than the Canteen Magical Girl.
What the hell was this bitch's problem now?
It was bedtime, for crying out loud.
"Who the fuck makes something like that Magical dish!!!"
From what I could piece together, it had something to do with the dish we'd made at the cooking contest.
But what the hell did that matter?
We'd gotten disqualified and that was the end of it, right?
What kind of logical leap was this?
I couldn't even fathom why she'd drag her ass all the way to the dorms to bitch about it.
It wasn't just me—everyone, myself included, just stared blankly at the raging Canteen Magical Girl.
"Huh? You don't know?"
The Canteen Magical Girl sneered, twisting one corner of her mouth in disbelief.
"You don't know what happened at the Magical cafeteria because of you? Huh?!"
We all nodded indifferently.
Not like we knew anything to respond with.
Nakji had gone to the temple for chow, while Sora and I followed Whitey to the cathedral to eat, so we had no clue what went down at the cafeteria.
Oh, well, Rez might know something.
"Rez, what happened?"
"Well, it's not as big a deal as you might think..."
Rez quickly explained at my prompt.
Lately, on days without leftovers, one particular abomination had become a regular fixture—and wouldn't you know it, that abomination was the dish we'd made.
"Huh? But we called it Magical Drop, right? So why's it on the menu? Who the hell picked it up?"
"Oh, really? I passed out back then, so I didn't notice. But someone apparently liked it."
Because of warning notices, Magical Girls below Major General rank couldn't leave any behind—they had to finish it all, and skipping meals was off the table too, naturally.
Well, "below Major General" basically meant every Magical Girl out there. As far as I knew, there were only two at that rank or higher.
"Did Mu-yong eat it okay?"
"Me? I'm from a Magical farming commune background, so it wasn't a big deal. But everyone else seemed to struggle with it."
An abomination you couldn't leave behind or skip.
Of course the Magical Girls' resentment would pile up.
And the target for those arrows of blame? The Canteen Magical Girl who'd recommended us.
"That's weird, nya. Shouldn't they be grilling the inferior species who made the Magical food? Of course, it's absolutely not because of this girl that it flopped, nya."
"Seems like they blame the Magical recommender who nominated the girl who made the Magical food more than the girl herself."
"Is that so, nya? For such lowly kidnapper-types, they've got surprisingly non-decorative brains at times like this, nya."
Nakji nodded in understanding but still tilted her head.
She just couldn't wrap her mind around the other Magical Girls' logic.
But it wasn't hard to understand.
If anything, it was the natural outcome.
I'd realized this from my armband side gig.
A thread turns toxic not just because of the hateful posts, but because of the people slapping down the dislikes.
They could've reported or blocked it, but no—they downvote it, shoving it right up the front page.
Same deal here. The recommender was the real issue.
If she hadn't nominated us, none of this would've happened.
Plus, Nakji, Whitey, and Sora were true bottom-of-the-barrel trash-tier, unlike me.
I'd said it before: even trying to talk to trash-tier was a mistake.
The Magical Girls knew that already.
Yelling at them would just lead to more headaches without any payoff.
So targeting the slightly less-trash Canteen Magical Girl was the obvious next step.
The moment Rez finished explaining, the Canteen Magical Girl lost her shit again.
"Because of you, almost every Magical Girl's cut me off! You've ruined my Magical Girl career!!!"
Then she glared at us fiercely before snapping her gaze to Nakji.
"Not sorry? Aren't you sorry?!"
"Hmm, well, sorry about that, nya."
Nakji expressed her regrets.
In an ambiguous tone, with a face that screamed not sorry at all.
Of course, the Canteen Magical Girl didn't care. She latched onto the fact that Nakji had said sorry.
"If you're sorry, you Magical apologize properly!"
"If we break it down, yeah, nya."
"Then why the fuck haven't you apologized yet!!!"
Nakji met the Canteen Magical Girl's eyes steadily, keeping her calm demeanor.
"It's not something a Magical apology can fix, so why bother with one, nya."
"You Magical apologize first, period!!!!!!"
Not that the Canteen Magical Girl was calm enough to listen.
After venting her rage for a bit, she simmered down.
"You've really fucked me over..."
"Don't worry. We can solve this."
"How?"
The Canteen Magical Girl whipped her gaze to Whitey, her eyes flickering with a sliver of hope.
"Name it the Magical Challenge, then hype it up on Magical TikTok, Magical Shorts, and Magical Reels."
"You think that'll fucking work, you empty-headed bitch!!!"
Of course, that hope sank like a stone.
Her own damn fault for expecting anything from dimwit Whitey.
Meanwhile, Whitey pouted innocently, mumbling under her breath.
"It's feasible in America..."
She looked just like a puppy who'd gotten scolded after causing trouble.
"Sis, hold on. Let me handle this."
At that moment, Sora pulled Whitey back.
She stepped up to the Canteen Magical Girl and bowed her head meekly.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, that's how you apologize. Wasn't even that hard—why drag it out?"
The first proper apology softened the Canteen Magical Girl's face a tad as she nodded.
Maybe sensing it hadn't fully eased her, Sora apologized again.
"I'm really sorry."
Even more sincerely this time.
The apology hit harder than expected, and the Canteen Magical Girl scratched her head with an awkward smile.
"Nah, it's not like that..."
The tense atmosphere, thick enough to cut before, warmed up in an instant.
"Truth is, if we're pointing fingers, I was kinda wrong for sending you up there without thinking─"
"Then be more careful next time."
"No, this is totally your fault!!!"
Well, it didn't last long.
After yelling at Sora, the Canteen Magical Girl turned back to us, eyes bulging again.
"Hey, are you all fucking Magical brats?"
"No, we're obviously adults."
"You? Since when?"
The Canteen Magical Girl twisted her eyes at me, daring me to speak.
But I was confident.
In this otherworld without a single decent human, I was the only one who acted like one.
I spoke calmly.
"If I've done something wrong, I apologize right then and there."
If that's not adult behavior, what is?
"Then why haven't you apologized to me yet?"
"Because I've never done anything wrong."
You have to actually screw up to apologize.
Can't say sorry for nothing.
"What...?"
I shrugged at the dumbfounded Canteen Magical Girl.
"You messed up, not me."
I chuckled.
In the most matter-of-fact tone.
"If you'd just fermented the kimchi right, none of this would've happened."
Of course, it was straight facts, but I figured she needed it blunt to get it.
"Ah, you fucking bastard!!!"
Unfortunately, unlike my hopes, this thick-skulled bitch didn't get it. Well, with her slightly-better-than-Whitey IQ, what could you expect?
"Hah, for real."
Meanwhile, after stomping around, the Canteen Magical Girl lit up a cigarette.
"Hey, fuck. Even if I look like this, I'm your Magical superior."
She glared at us while puffing away.
"I've got years more Magical Girl experience than you punks. My Magical tenure's on another level."
Then she chucked the barely-smoked cig away.
"And you fucking rookie Magical shits think you can sass me?! Huh?!"
That did it—Rez's eyes rolled back.
"Sass?"
"Yeah?"
That was the Canteen Magical Girl's last word.
Or more precisely, her last intelligible one.
What followed was nothing but wet squelching sounds.
"──! ────!!!"
And beastly groans echoing everywhere.
"Her Magical career really shows in Magical Girls. That Magical squirting class is next-level."
"Mu-yong, if you squirt on my Magical bed again this time, I'm seriously killing you."
"Ah, fuck! Don't aim at this girl's Magical bed, nya!!!"
And so, the cafeteria feud between us and the Canteen Magical Girl ended surprisingly simply.
We got off without punishment, and she stopped bitching.
A clean, happy ending courtesy of Rez.
"Canteen Magical Girl, you must be hungry, right? Let me treat you to some Magical bibimmyeon."
"S-stop! I was wrong, okay! I won't say shit anymore! And I already ate!"
"It's fine. You'll eat it with your lower mouth."
"W-wait, stooooooop!!!"
Well, if anything, it was more sticky than clean.
Anyway.
That day, Rez wasn't her usual self.
She was the devil of squirting. The Squirting Demon.
No, scratch that.
"Squirting Demon" was too low-class a title for her feat.
She was the Magical Squirting Demon King.
One morning, as I awoke from uneasy dreams, I found myself transformed in my bed into a something other than my usual self.
"Huh, fuck, what is this?"