Chapter 7
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 7
Chapter Title: Magical Psychological Counseling (1)
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"You told me to speak comfortably."
All the Magical Girls and mascots stared at me in stunned silence.
Especially the green Magical Girl who had bitten me earlier—her reaction was the most intense. She clenched her fists, barely holding back to keep her bewilderment from turning into outright rage.
They probably never imagined I'd come out like this.
"So I'm speaking comfortably. Why the stares?"
But this wasn't enough.
"Ah, if it's uncomfortable, just say so."
So, a little more prodding seemed in order.
"Auntie."
The effect was tremendous.
No sooner had the word left my mouth than the air in the entire room grew heavy.
"Hey!!!"
It was because the sticky emotions pouring from the green Magical Girl began to mingle in.
Hatred, resentment, and a rather vivid murderous intent.
It was overwhelmingly palpable. Just facing it felt like my body and soul were being shredded to pieces.
She was definitely worthy of those two stars. Her mouth might spew shit, but the aura she exuded right now was that of a true powerhouse.
Still, it wasn't anything to fear.
The beings I'd faced and fought in that other world were mostly freakishly strong outliers.
I occasionally ran into relatively weaker foes, but they always ganged up on me in numbers, wielding power rivaling the elites.
Thanks to a decade tangled with those bastards, nothing ordinary scares me anymore—no matter how I try. Same went for this.
Tower stock tanking? Nopia shares in freefall?
Hmm...
That one's scary.
Anyway.
"Are you fucking insane, you bastard!!!"
The green Magical Girl's reaction was explosive.
She looked ready to do anything at any moment.
But.
"Who knows."
I responded with a leisurely smile instead.
"Blame my lack of upbringing. Cut me some slack."
Hurling her earlier sarcasm right back at her.
Of course, I wasn't pulling this recklessly. This was the moment I'd been waiting for—time to play my trump card. My one real shot, practically.
The chance to be ruled unfit for Magical Girl duty.
Aiming for full exemption.
Public service duty at worst.
That's why I'd lashed out so aggressively.
By enlistment office standards, getting an unfit rating from the physical is damn near impossible to begin with.
No—scratch that.
Even that's not precise.
It's straight-up impossible.
My body's in perfect shape compared to that other world. All limbs intact, no lingering scars deep enough for aftereffects.
Prime specimen. Active duty material through and through.
So in this condition, I had basically one way to score an unfit ruling.
Prove it right here, in this psych eval, to the Magical Girls watching.
That I'm mentally too far gone to ever be a Magical Girl.
And.
The first one to prove it on? Obviously, the green Magical Girl.
Simple reason: she was the easiest mark in the room. She'd acted like total shit right from the jump, despite it being our first meeting.
Speak of the easy target—she was glaring at me like she wanted to kill me.
"What, Magical deserter? Think you're nuts or something? You wanna fuck with a Magical right now?"
"Not fucking around."
"Ah, you motherfucker!!!"
The green Magical Girl slammed her fist on the desk.
Her razor-sharp emotions surged toward me through the cracks spiderwebbing across the surface.
"If a piece of shit like you were in my Magical unit, I'd have offed you ages ago! Got that, you dog-fucker? Huh?!"
"Of course I do."
Honestly, it was a little intriguing.
"I was planning to take you out first anyway."
Who knew natural enemies could share the same train of thought?
People really do think alike.
Only thing I hadn't anticipated...
"Ha."
...was the Magical Girl aiming her magic wand at me.
"Just die right here."
A swirl of green light began gathering at the wand's tip, pointed straight at me.
Never dreamed she'd escalate to magic this fast. Finally, the mascot beside her frantically tried to intervene.
[Stop! You can't point a wand at a civilian!]
Honestly, kinda touching.
In most Magical Girl stories, the mascot mirrors the girl—tastes, hobbies, personality, mindset, preferences, you name it.
The girl's will is the mascot's will.
But not here. The mascot was bucking her will, laying down the law.
[Monster-slaying spells are absolutely off-limits too!]
This kind of goodwill? Only gotten it once in that other world. Suddenly, something welled up inside me.
Green pufferfish-shaped mascot, but its thinking was perfectly sensible.
[If you're sealed again, we eat that tasteless crap!]
"You just shut up and eat whatever they give you!"
No—its brain was perfectly pufferfish-sized after all.
Yeah. My bad for expecting more.
Magical Girl matches her mascot.
Both acting without a thought, you morons.
"...Wait a sec."
She'd said 'again' just now, right?
Means this bitch has pulled this shit before.
Modern world's great, honestly. In that other world, I'd have killed her already.
Meanwhile, the green Magical Girl gritted her teeth and gripped her wand even tighter than before.
"I was trying to hold back as much as I could, but you? No fucking way."
She vented her raw fury without restraint. Her killing intent toward me was that thick.
"Oh."
Me? Just found it fascinating.
Never thought I'd see otherworld-style magic back in the modern day this soon. Honestly, almost nostalgic.
"All your fault."
Lost in thought for a split second, and already the green mana at her wand's tip had swelled into a hefty thorn shape—no more changes.
"Die, you dog-fucker."
With the mana gathered and stabilized like that, it'd fire any second. That size meant serious power and speed.
Needle Point
As expected, the instant she finished speaking, a single green thorn silently sliced through the air.
[No!]
The mascot cried out desperately, but sadly, its shout couldn't catch the fierce flash.
[Sto─p!]
Next thing, the mascot was screaming its lungs out at the impending disaster—
[......Huh?]
—or rather, blurting out a deflated question.
"Ha......?"
The Magical Girl's hollow murmur was the cherry on top.
Reason those two utterly out-of-place lines popped up in the tense moment? Simple.
"Wow."
I'd dodged it.
"Scary stuff."
Of course, her spell wasn't some weak shit I brushed off like it was nothing.
Quite the opposite. Insanely powerful and fast. By the time I registered it, the wall it hit had a massive hole blasted through.
But hard to dodge? Nah.
Honestly, not dodging would've been ridiculous.
This was anti-monster magic, after all.
Monsters in Magical Girl tales are simple creatures. Pure instinctual destroyers.
So the spells made to kill them are just as straightforward.
Straight-line blasts: minimal mana for maximum damage.
Efficient. Effective.
For killing monsters.
Smart monsters exist, sure, but they're rare—so most anti-monster magic's like that.
A spell literally manifesting killing intent as thorns.
But.
"Definitely powerful."
Not suited for shooting at people.
To kill a person, you gotta infuse something stickier than mere killing intent.
"It's lacking."
Malice.
The kind too horrific to even imagine, that leaps over every human bottom line, overflowing way beyond what's needed for one person.
Every spell in that other world was laced with it.
For inflicting pain: more viciously.
For deception: more cunningly.
For killing: more cruelly.
So yeah, dodging this one? Easy.
With my otherworld experience, no way a straight-arrow attack like that hits me.
Even without a scrap of hero power—or mana—left in this body, it's more than enough.
If anything, way better than back then.
"H-Huh? How'd you dodge?"
The caster herself couldn't believe her eyes, blinking blankly. She must've had total confidence in that spell.
"Can't hit this?"
Thinking it over, it was absurd.
Even monster-grade magic kills if it lands.
"Be real. You're not fully bloomed yet, right?"
Shooting this at a person, you dumb bitch?
"Guess the real idiot's you."
Pissed off now, time to grind her nerves more.
"Hey, wanna be a magic master?"
Can't let it just be my bad mood.
"Wanna learn from me? I'm a magic master."
No sooner had I said it than green light swirled at her wand tip again.
Same shape as before, but way more of them.
"Ha, fuck."
By then, her wand had morphed into a thorny mace bristling with spikes.
A declaration: she'd kill me no matter what it took.
"Never met a fucker like you in my life."
"Same—first auntie who looks like you. Fucking hideous."
"Ah, I'm seriously gonna kill you!!!"
She'd said it outright, after all.
But defying her words, nothing happened. No spell launch. No dodge from me.
Or more precisely, it couldn't happen.
──!
For a split second, the room flashed white—and just like that, the green magic vanished in an instant.
"Hoo."
The empty space where the magic had been.
"Enough."
A dry voice cut through it.
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