Chapter 44
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 44
Chapter Title: The Path of the Magical Writer
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Back at the dorm, nothing much happened.
"Here, I brought it."
"Senior! Thank you! Thanks to you, I finally get to eat a proper inari sushi set after so long."
"Oh, thanks! I love sweet stuff! How'd you know?"
"'Cause you're like a dog."
All I did was hand over some food and drinks from the Magical Cafe to Sora and Whitey.
"Truly, the girl shall strike thee but once, yo!"
That is, until Nakji suddenly showed up and smacked me on the head.
This one really hurt. The ringing in my ears started the moment she hit me, and my vision shook for an instant.
Why the hell is this crazy bitch hitting my head?
I'm just a regular human with a fragile body to begin with.
"Dumping the Magical bill on the girl and running off like that—where do you think you're going, yo!"
"Oh, I forgot."
Well, I guess I deserved it.
Maybe my advice had helped after all. Nakji looked way more put-together than before.
Good for her.
Not so good for my head, but anyway.
Then a sudden thought crossed my mind, and I spoke up.
"Hey, did you guys know your Nakji is a writer? I just found out today."
The reactions split two ways.
"Eh, I kinda knew already."
"Oh, really?"
Sora replied indifferently, like it was no big surprise—or more like the inari sushi she was eating right now mattered way more.
"Wait, really? A real Magical writer?"
"To be precise, she's a webnovel author."
"No way. Total surprise."
Whitey, on the other hand, widened her eyes and fired off questions nonstop. She clearly hadn't had a clue.
Pleased by Whitey's reaction, Nakji flashed a smug smile.
"Now you see the girl's superiority, yo?"
"I should've skipped uni too and written some Magical webnovels! I'd have made a fat stack of Magical seed money by n─!"
"You mangy mutt, what did you just say, yo!!!"
That is, until Whitey got on her nerves.
"Absolutely! Absolutely! Absolutely! Never spout that Magical nonsense in front of the girl or any other Magical authors, got it, yo?!"
"O-okay......"
Whitey must've never seen Nakji this furious before. She instantly deflated, peeking up with wide eyes like a puppy who'd messed up and was gauging the mood.
Well, self-inflicted.
"Sister, you were in the wrong this time."
"Yeah, spot on."
Whitey had crossed the line big-time this round.
Lucky it ended there.
Meanwhile, Nakji still wasn't over it. She stomped her feet, glaring at Whitey.
"If you're so confident, why don't you try writing one yourself, yo!!!"
"Oh yeah, I have two first lines I wrote."
Now this piqued my interest.
As a major shareholder in Novelpia, new novels were always welcome. It might even boost the stock price. Plus, I loved novels anyway.
One of my few indulgences in life was my Novelpia subscription, after all.
"Really? Let me see."
"But I only wrote the first sentences for both."
"Eh, whatever."
"No prob, yo. Even a first line's plenty for the girl to give Magical feedback on."
Nakji urged Whitey to show it too, just like me. Being a writer herself, she seemed genuinely interested.
This was definitely a good opportunity for Whitey.
Getting feedback meant seeing your work through someone else's eyes.
"Alright, fine."
Whitey rummaged through her Magical item shelf and handed us a sheet of paper.
"Read it and give me your eval!"
Nakji and I carefully read the text scribbled on the paper Whitey handed over.
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"─Iiiiie! Violence! Buddha shoot! Wh-what language is thiiis─! Such misfortune─!!"
Even as he thought his own yell sounded like some pervert's, Kamijou Touma had no intention of slowing his Sugoi-class speed as he fled from the ninja.
─【A Certain Karate's List of Superstitions】
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In this village, they call the sight of ripe organic barley stalks swaying in the wind "a ninja runs."
Because it looks just like a ninja dashing through an organic barley field to set up an ambush.
─【Ninja and Spices】
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Whitey puffed out her chest confidently.
"So, what do you think of my Magical writing technique?"
Nakji and I exchanged silent glances before turning back to Whitey.
"That's plagiarism, you plagiarist."
"That's a Magical keijime issue, yo!"
I knew Whitey lived carelessly, but I didn't expect this level.
This wasn't "inspired by."
She'd straight-up copied it.
And of all things, why ninjas? Ninja? Ninja? Why? Why on earth?
It was an act as heretical as putting chocolate in mint.
Nakji's eyes, which had lit up with anticipation for a new story, quickly dimmed.
"Not just any old thing—you copied a famous Magical work outright! What were you planning to do with that, yo!"
"Then how do I write well? I don't know this stuff."
Still, I decided to let this one slide.
She probably copied it absentmindedly while practicing.
She hadn't even submitted it anywhere.
So, just teach her.
Doing it knowingly would be malicious, but with Whitey's personality, once told, she'd never do it again. Dogs might lack brains, but they listen well.
"You can get away with good metaphors if you use them right."
"Metaphors? Where do I get those?"
"Most novels have at least one. Arknights is the prime example in games."
"Oh, I get it! Thanks!"
Something must've clicked at my words. Whitey suddenly started scribbling on the paper.
At that moment, Nakji spoke to me.
"Oh, even the inferior breed knows Arknights, yo?"
"It's pretty famous, so yeah. What about you, Nakji?"
"Never played it, but I know the gist, yo."
"Really?"
I nodded encouragingly, as if to say she should try it.
Nakji opened her mouth with a confident look.
"It's a Magical game about a protagonist who loses his memories and gets brainwashed into a Magical animal-loving furry freak, chronicling his Magical life, yo."
"Uh......"
My words caught a bit in my throat.
"The protagonist's a German chimera destined to be king of the Magical furries, yo."
"......"
This time, not just a bit—completely choked.
I'd never imagined that coming out of her mouth. At most, I expected something avant-garde.
"Inferior breed, is the girl wrong, yo? Or do you not know Arknights?"
"No, if I had to nitpick... it's kinda right, but......"
Something about the phrasing felt off.
Especially coming from Nakji of all people.
To shake off the weird thought, I quickly changed the subject.
"Anyway, Nakji, what'd you envision for the characters in your novel?"
"Planning a tomboy girl to show up around the middle, yo."
I shook my head.
"Not a good idea."
"Why not, yo? Tomboys are way more appealing than you think."
"You don't get it. Tomboys are more dangerous than you imagine."
That's the newbie perspective.
To a seasoned eye, a tomboy heroine is a notoriously tricky subject.
"Think about it. What if your tomboy girl's got small tits and a crap figure?"
"She looks like a guy on the outside, so you can highlight her feminine side in key moments, yo."
See?
She still doesn't get it.
"A flat-chested tomboy's got futanari potential. Could be packing."
"Why are you suddenly sticking a dick there, yo!"
"You don't know till you check."
Schrödinger's crotch.
Pre-observation, anything's possible.
That's why flat-chested tomboys are dangerous.
"What if she's got an killer body instead? Now that's a real minefield."
Obviously.
A tomboy with a body like that carries unknowable risks.
One slip, and boom—NTR. She's prime bait for gym teachers and bald MCs. Practically inevitable. Destiny, even.
Pure love story? Tough sell. She might suddenly grow long hair at the end and lose her tomboy identity.
No guarantee either lacks a dick.
"Why!!! Why do you keep trying to slap dicks on everything since earlier, yo!!! If it has a dick, it's not a tomboy anymore!!!"
"Oh, true."
Having dealt with dick-equipped magical girls before, my mind was already corrupted.
This was all because I was a magical girl.
That's why the job's so risky.
Surrounded by total lunatics, even a normal person like me ends up catching insanity without realizing it.
"Done! Complete!"
Right then, Whitey's shout rattled my eardrums.
"Sister, quiet down a bit."
"Read this one!"
Ignoring Sora's scolding, Whitey rushed over and shoved the paper at Nakji and me.
Which meant...
"Huh? You finished already?"
"Not totally, but for now!"
"Let the girl see, yo."
Nakji and I intently read what Whitey had scribbled on the paper.
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When the last handful of warm light fades and even faint shadows are devoured, humanity's most primal and ugly desires erupt.
Yet even in a world where all things slumber, there was a witness to the sticky apocalypse.
One other bound by an ink thicker than blood, silently peering through the gap in the drawn curtain, taking in the ridiculous tragedy with bated breath.
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Whitey puffed out her chest triumphantly.
"Not that bad this time, right?"
"Better than I expected."
"......The girl'll acknowledge this one, yo."
Honestly, it was a surprise.
Maybe because I had zero expectations, but for Whitey, this short stint produced a decent line.
Only one issue, though.
"But what does it even mean?"
I had no clue what it was describing.
Something tragic, sure, but...
"Sora got caught masturbating by our adoptive mom in the middle of the night."
"Ah."
Caught jerking off by your adoptive parents.
Definitely tragic.
"Why the hell would you tell Senior of all people about me getting caught— you crazy sister!!!"
"Eek! Ow! Ow! Sora, it hurts!"
And Whitey got her tragic beating too.
Sora's face beet-red, she went wild on Whitey with the inari sushi container.
"......Truly a heartbreaking tale, yo."
With Nakji's misty-eyed murmur as background music.
What a peaceful day.
Today, and probably from here on out too.
That's what I thought.
"We now begin Magical Private First Class Kim Siyul's Magical Lecture. Everyone, give a warm welcome."
"Fuck."
Until I stepped up to the podium.