Chapter 36
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 36
Chapter Title: Magical Religious Activities (1)
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Today was the day the Magical Girl who had gone on leave was supposed to return.
She was the same one Sora and Whitey had both insisted was out of her mind.
But contrary to my worries, her first impression was surprisingly ordinary.
Two-tone hair—black on the outside, red on the inside.
Eyes a deep red matching the inner hair.
Overall, she had a cat-like vibe.
Judging purely by looks, she seemed the most subdued among all the Magical Girls I'd seen so far.
"The girl has finally returned!!!"
Her speech was a bit odd, but not overly so. A touch archaic, maybe.
"Huh?"
At that moment, the Magical Girl back from leave looked at me with eyes full of doubt.
She was probably startled to see a guy in the dorm for the first time.
Well, no harm in introducing myself while I was at it.
Whitey and Sora had harped on about her being weird, but you had to talk to someone to really know.
At least she seemed normal right now.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Kim Siyul."
"Oh, a new inferior species?"
"You fucking bitch."
Scratch that.
She was just plain crazy.
Yeah, Whitey and Sora couldn't be wrong.
"Senior, that's what I was telling you. She's a bit off."
"Sorry for doubting you. You were spot on."
"Now do you get why she and I don't click?"
"Yeah, it's crystal clear now."
I didn't click with her either.
This chick was a total nutjob.
"Still, don't take it too personally. Taishi thinks everyone here—regardless of gender—is inferior to her."
Well, at least it was a relief that she wasn't just screwing with me; she was equally psychotic to everyone.
"So she thinks she's superior on her own?"
"Well, she's not the only one who thinks that way exactly... but yeah, something like that."
Didn't change the fact she was still a lunatic, though.
"That said, since we'll be living together, it would only be proper to introduce the girl's Magical to you."
Meanwhile, the nutjob struck a ladylike pose and introduced herself.
"The girl's name is Taishi. Though superior in body, please treat me well."
"Sure thing, you bitch."
Her name was Taishi.
Not that I'd ever call her by name.
Right after her intro, Taishi whipped her gaze toward Whitey.
"Today is the day this girl shall crush your Magical aura!"
"What now?"
Whitey replied indifferently.
Taishi shouted confidently.
"The American moon landing was a hoax!"
She probably thought that would rile Whitey up.
"You know the so-called Magical Moon Landing is just a pathetic American Magical conspiracy theory, right?"
Well, the attempt itself wasn't bad.
The moon landing was one of America's great achievements, and outright denying it was one of the most effective ways to piss someone off.
Hell, people had gotten beaten to death over it, so it had to work.
But Taishi had overlooked one thing.
"You seriously believe the moon is real?"
"Pardon...?"
That Whitey was a true fucking retard.
You could only provoke someone with words if they had the bare minimum intelligence to understand them.
It didn't work on a thick-headed moron like Whitey.
"The moon is just a massive Magical beam projector illusion beamed onto the night sky by us in America."
"N-No, that's..."
What good was denying the achievement?
Whitey was denying the very foundation.
"The moon is fake. You're dumber than me."
That actually pissed me off instead.
"Hey, hold up."
"What's with you all of a sudden?"
Denying the moon's existence in front of the Hero of the Moon?
I couldn't just let that slide.
"The moon is real. Hell, I'm the Hero of the Moon, so of course it exists."
But Whitey shook her head seriously, her eyes full of concern.
"There is no moon. No Hero of the Moon either. How old are you to still be lost in that fantasy?"
"No, the moon exists, you idiot."
"You've not only ruined Magical with your Magical anime obsession. Time to live in reality."
"Ah, seriously, come outside with me."
While Whitey and I growled at each other, Sora sidled up to Taishi and spoke softly.
"You still planning to tell my sister the Magical moon landing was fake?"
"...The girl was mistaken."
Taishi let out a deep sigh and trudged out the door.
"The girl will step out for a bit."
The moment Taishi left, Whitey suddenly stood up.
"Ah! Right! I gotta head out too!"
It felt off.
Why were they both suddenly leaving?
And Sora's reaction was weird too.
"Perfect timing. Don't wanna be late—gotta go."
"Exactly! I remembered when that one bailed!"
She didn't even ask where; she just casually replied, as if this was everyday routine.
"Hey, where you going?"
"Magical Cathedral! There's a Magical Sister meeting today!"
Whitey was off to the cathedral.
And she was a nun, apparently.
"You a nun or something?"
"Precisely, a Magical Sister."
Even with the Magical prefix, it felt a bit different from the nuns I knew.
"What's a Magical nun different from a regular one?"
"No real Magical limits on what you do personally—just attend regularly. They give out Magical snacks too. That's why I keep at it."
No real restrictions made it seem less like a job and more like a club membership title.
Not that strange, though.
From what I'd heard before, monster invasions had tanked birth rates. So nuns had probably adapted to the times.
Besides, who was I?
A major shareholder in Top□ and No□pia.
I could understand perfectly.
In No□pia, nuns and saints weren't symbols of purity—they were incarnations of lust. A job for true men more than women.
Anyway.
"So today's Magical Sister Ray."
Whitey introduced herself confidently as a Magical Sister.
Sister, huh...
It actually suited Whitey well.
"Oh, Magical Sister Ray."
"It's Magical Sister Ray, you bastard."
More irked than I thought, Whitey spat curses in fluent Korean, uncharacteristically.
At least she didn't call me a nigger.
Trash as she was, she'd improved.
"Anyway, I'm off."
"You eating at the Magical Cathedral? If sis doesn't come back, I'm heading out with senior."
"Nah, I'll be back before that. See ya."
"Yeah."
Sora waved dismissively, and Whitey bolted out of the dorm.
And I followed right after.
"Senior, wait. Where you going?"
Though Sora caught me right away.
"Figured I'd check out how they do their religious stuff."
From my guess, Taishi had left for some religious event too. Sora said she was devout.
"It'll be boring."
"Just wanna see how different it is from what I know."
"Got it. Peek and come back. I'm swamped with admin work."
With Sora seeing me off, I stepped outside.
The way there wasn't hard. First time, but I just followed Whitey leaping ahead.
About ten minutes later, we reached the cluster of religious facilities.
"Whoa."
I let out an impressed whistle.
In a good way.
No building with "Magical" in the name had ever looked normal. They all screamed insane asylum.
But this time was different.
There were some Magical Girl decorations, but they seemed restrained for religious sites.
"Not bad."
Made it worth looking at.
Especially the largest church in the center—reverent and mysteriously atmospheric.
"Damn! Jesus! I love you!"
"Damn! Jesus! What the hell is this Magical scripture! My Magical tongues keep bursting out! Messiah~hahahahaha!!!"
"He has risen! The boy who tightens the nails!"
Well, it looked fine on the outside. Inside, it was a loony bin.
That over there must be the Magical Church.
Steer clear, no matter what.
Too many crazy Magical Girls. Honestly, "Magical Girl" and "crazy" were synonyms.
Meanwhile, doors to all the facilities were open, suggesting free entry.
The Magical Cathedral's door was open too. Whitey was probably in there. Bonus snacks, even.
I headed straight in—
"Huh?"
—or tried to, but stopped midway.
Because of the Magical Dharma Hall across from it.
More precisely, Taishi on the podium.
Taishi wasn't in casual clothes anymore; she wore a sharp black uniform.
The lined-up Magical Girls in their outfits suggested this was Taishi's Magical Girl getup.
Honestly, unexpected.
Low exposure for a Magical Girl outfit.
Not zero, though—thighs between mini-skirt and stockings, abs and arms from the short sleeveless shirt.
But with the uniform coat over it, she was relatively modest compared to others.
I found my feet drifting toward the Magical Dharma Hall. Curious what Taishi was up to.
At that moment.
"The girl loves."
Taishi opened her mouth.