Chapter 34
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 34
Chapter Title: Interlude - Magical Cleanup (2)
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Repetition and mastery.
Honestly, those words never really clicked with me. There's no guarantee that grinding away at something will make you a master, after all.
But that wasn't the case. Once I actually gave it a shot, repetition and mastery turned out to be real things.
"Oh."
Finally, I nailed it.
Cleanly blasting off just the outer calf.
By the fourth one, even a total no-talent shooter like me could pull it off without breaking a sweat.
"Ah...... Ugh......"
Well, I'd fired so many shots during practice that the futanari's lower half was a total shredded mess.
But that wasn't a big deal.
The real important part was that I had succeeded.
It felt like such a waste to hog all this joy for myself. So I figured I'd share it.
"Thanks a ton, seriously. You really helped me level up my skills."
With the futanari who'd been my shooting dummy.
You know the saying.
Share the crap, share the good times.
This was the perfect moment.
"I'm so grateful, so is there anything you want from me? I'll do my best to make it happen."
I meant every word.
She'd thrown herself into this for me of her own free will—shouldn't I at least toss her a little reward?
Letting her go might be tricky, but I'd bend over backward within reason.
That's how people should live: helping each other out.
"......Kill me."
But the futanari just weakly mumbled something weird.
"How could I kill someone? That's creepy."
What a awful thing to say.
How do you just kill a person for no reason?
In this other world, the only people I'd ever killed were pure self-defense. Taking a life in a spot like this? Not heroic at all.
"Gotta keep on living, right?"
"Kill me, please......! Please......!"
"It's fine. Living's tough, but everyone pulls through."
Even I had. I flashed a bright smile and tacked on the rest.
Right then, one of the futanari piped up in a panic.
"Um, excuse me! In that case, let me make a request instead of her!"
"What is it?"
I was curious. What could she want so badly that she was begging like this?
She wasn't my practice target, but I'd show some generosity. If she couldn't ask herself, a buddy stepping in should be okay.
"Spill it. What do you want?"
"Make me your Magical girlfriend─!"
"Turn you into a cripple? Sure."
- Bang!
- Bang!
This time, I squeezed off two rounds and took out her ankle. The massive eyesore went with it.
The futanari passed out without a word, collapsing in a pathetic heap on the ground.
It stung a little, but what could I do?
She'd begged so desperately—what choice did I have?
Just give her what she wanted.
"Hey! You're going way too far!"
A sharp voice cut through the air.
"What? I did exactly what she asked."
"She said 'Magical girlfriend'!"
"Oh, for real?"
I had no clue.
Never been confessed to before—honestly didn't know.
"Speak clearly next time."
Not that it made me want to anyway. Who'd date a futanari?
Plus, these were Magical major offenders now, but they'd been full-fledged Magical Girls before. Translation: total psychos.
Me, dating them?
No chance in hell.
I don't screw Magical Girls. Ever.
"Our mom is here with us! And you're pulling this dogshit in front of her!"
"Oh yeah?"
Had no idea her mom was around.
Only one thing left to do, then.
I rummaged through my pocket quick.
"Hey...... what're you doing?"
"You said your mom's here."
"So why dig in your pocket all of a sudden?"
Unbelievable.
Do I gotta spell out every little thing? This is basic common sense.
Magical felons must tank their IQs hard.
Oh well.
Sane guy like me's gotta explain it here.
I'm the hero, after all.
"To see your mom, gotta do Bunshinsaba. Hang on, got a pen but no coin."
"What the fuck are you─!"
- Bang!
"Why so damn loud."
Just pulled the trigger.
I tried being nice, but she wouldn't shut up and listen—just yapping away. Too cheeky. Thinks my goodwill's her entitlement.
Ex-Magical Girl confirmed psycho.
"Oh god, my daughter!!!"
Then one futanari scrambled over to the one I'd just magicked.
Her delicate looks didn't match her folksy speech, and that lower-half monstrosity was extra huge.
"Mercy me! How'd our little one end up like this!"
"Ha."
All I could do was sigh.
My reaction must've pissed her off bad. The old futanari glared daggers with bloodshot eyes, tears pouring.
"You turn our baby into this and have the nerve to sigh?!"
"Stay clueless and alive why don't you."
Ruins the Bunshinsaba.
I found the coin too.
- Bang!
So I pulled the trigger right away.
If she's alive and can't be summoned, make her summonable.
Not killing, obviously. Just a jolt to knock the soul loose.
Anyway, down to one futanari left.
"Just you now."
A face burned into my memory.
Impossible to forget.
The leader, they called her. The one who'd hounded me to the bitter end.
Right then, the futanari leader spoke up.
"Are you even human......?"
"Obviously. Why ask?"
I shot back casually.
The futanari leader lost it.
"How can some human casually shoot down a Magical mom and daughter pair!"
"Gets easier up close."
Yeah, proximity boosted my aim. Only downside: risk of jizz splatter.
"That's not the point!"
But even after I explained, she just kept glaring.
What the hell's her problem?
"You don't even know the pain in the first place!"
"What're you on about."
I know pain better than anyone.
"Not hit by a single spell, and you're whining about pain?! Huh?!"
Fine, guilty.
I didn't take any hits.
But pain's still pain.
"More than your spell-hit agony, my heart hurts having to fire on you."
Dead serious. Spot on.
Your pain? Just tank it. But me, pulling the trigger? Mental torture.
No one could grasp that suffering.
"What kinda bullshit─!"
- Bang!
Tears in my eyes, trigger pulled.
No helping it. Zero chance she'd understand—better wrap it up fast. It's the humane thing.
Leaders different maybe? Took a direct hit, but she stayed conscious.
Eyes glassy though—normal thinking? Doubt it.
Then her mouth moved.
"B-But......"
"But what."
Last words maybe?
I listened quietly.
"But...... dick......"
- Bang!
Idiot me for taking it seriously. What else in these bitches' heads but cock?
Anyway, all futanari down.
Even cooked up evidence for Whitey.
Kinda overkill for "evidence"—supposed to arrest 'em, ended up crippling the lot.
Still fine. No one's denying Whitey pulled this off.
Might call it excessive, but suspicion? Minimal.
Mission accomplished, at least.
But.
"Ha."
What hit me wasn't triumph.
Just hollow.
"Fuck."
Exhausting.
Today's grind beat any otherworld slog. There, just throat-slit worries—no ass-ripping panic.
Lived by a hair. Nearly died for real, way uglier than back then.
And the scene around me? Carnage.
Blood and chunks everywhere. Sticky spunk splattered all over.
Hellscape.
Otherworld looked tidy by comparison.
A real futanari? She'd weep for this dick-and-honey promised land.
Like Jews hitting Canaan.
Not me.
Zero. All shit. Shooting skills up a notch felt good, but mood stayed crap.
Then it hit me.
"Ah."
Magical cig in my pocket.
Whitey's cleanup perk from earlier.
Crushed pretty bad, but intact. Should light.
Set Whitey down off my back, fished out the lighter.
"Lending your fire."
No ask, but I busted ass for her—sure she'll cut slack.
Soon, lit the Magical cig.
Didn't smoke it, obviously. Just the flame. Never unwrapped one, no plans to.
Had to do something or I'd crack. Got why folks grab smokes in helltimes today.
"There."
Took effort, but it caught. Stuck the lit cig in the dirt carefully.
Magical cigs hit different—sweet aroma as it burned.
My mouth? Bitter as hell.
"Supposed to make you happy......"
Just bluesier.
Worse worries than otherworld. There: who's killing me next? Now? Unknowable.
More of this ahead?
How many insanities waiting?
Can I hack it?
Dunno. Scares me. Worries me.
Days as Magical Girl, confidence tanked already.
Makes sense. A-rank grunt life sucked—think Magical Girl gig's a breeze?
Sudden mom craving hit hard today.
Missed her post-otherworld, but today's near-loss amped it up.
Tough, though.
Basically impossible.
Alive? Dead? Clueless.
Maybe why the smoke rising felt like funeral incense.
Like at Mom's service.
"Ha."
Stifling. Down.
Mood stuck.
Finally, I called out soft.
To the mom in memories—reunion? Survival? Unknown.
"Mommy."
It was summer.