Chapter 26
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 26
Chapter Title: Magical 'Major' Criminals
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It was dizzying. Chaotic.
"Ugh..."
My head felt like someone had turned it inside out, all muddled and foggy. My vision kept flickering in and out, refusing to focus.
It had all happened too suddenly.
For some unknown reason, me, Whitey, and Sora had all collapsed, our bodies so limp we couldn't even hold ourselves up.
And in the midst of that, we'd come face-to-face with the Magical major criminals we'd been targeting.
"Wha...t...?"
The two halting words I barely managed carried two big questions.
First question.
Why were the Magical major criminals here?
Our role was to hang back and catch any Magical major criminals that slipped past the main force.
But.
We were far from the main force—too far to even call it their rear guard.
Even though we'd been chatting back and forth, we'd been hiding pretty well. Unless you knew the exact spot, you wouldn't spot us easily.
Even if they'd caught on, it would've just been Whitey puffing away on her cigarette. No way Sora or I would've been found.
And yet, they'd zeroed right in on all three of us. It was downright bizarre.
But even more pressing than that was the second question.
Second question.
How the hell had they neutralized us like this?
A Magical Girl's body is tough as nails.
Not only do wounds barely faze them, they can survive direct hits from magic most of the time. Naturally, they'd have resistance to diseases and poisons too.
But.
Right now, I— the closest thing to a regular guy here—was in the best shape relatively speaking. I couldn't move, but at least I hadn't blacked out like Whitey and Sora.
Was it some kind of magic?
No.
I hadn't heard any incantations for casting spells. If they'd pulled off magic without one, Whitey and Sora would've noticed for sure.
No matter how I racked my brain, the puzzle wouldn't solve itself.
"Hahaha!"
At that moment, the Magical Girl's voice from earlier rang in my ears again.
"Even Magical Girls can't help but howl like Magical bitches in heat when the Magical aphrodisiac hits!!!"
That cleared up the second question, more or less.
I'd thought Sora and Whitey had passed out from some mystery method, but nope.
Yeah.
They'd been hit with an aphrodisiac and lost control.
"Ngh, ahh! Ah...!"
"Hng... aaah...!"
No wonder their groans sounded a tad too needy for plain suffering. It all made sense now.
Not that I had any urge to chew them out for it. This was pretty much an act of God.
Even Magical Girls can't beat aphrodisiacs and hypnosis apps, obviously. It's straight out of the high-level doujins and Magical Girl fanfics.
"Now then, time to toy with you Magical Girls from the rear, one by one!!!"
I'd been way too complacent.
Being in the rear didn't mean we were safe by default. These were vicious Magical major criminals, after all.
I should've at least considered the possibility of an attack from behind.
In other words, my failure to think of that was what led to this mess.
"Fuck..."
I felt pathetic.
How long had it even been since I returned from that other world? And already my edge was this dull?
"Hm? Why's there a guy here?"
That's when one of the Magical Girls spoke up.
"A guy? Where, Leader?"
"Come take a look."
- Pat pat pat.
Then came the sound of quick footsteps and the Magical Girls chattering.
"No way, for real? He's a normie?"
"Could be. Magical zones might be sparse on people, but this isn't some dead-end alley no one passes through."
"Kinda doubt it, though—he's gripping a standard-issue magic wand. And that uniform? Gotta be a Magical Girl."
This was bad.
They'd clocked my presence.
This was bad.
They'd clocked my presence.
The one silver lining in this shitshow was that my sight and hearing had mostly recovered.
Probably because the aphrodisiac was tailored for Magical Girls. It hadn't hit me as hard.
So, time to gather intel while I could.
Eight Magical major criminals. If that white Magical Girl's mascot hadn't been bullshitting, that meant the whole crew was here.
From their speech, a few were on in years. No clue on exact ages, but they were seasoned, no doubt.
Otherwise, every single one had some awkward bulk under their skirts.
They were probably packing more than just the magic wands in their hands—weapons, tools, whatever. Extra wands, most likely.
Makes sense. The outnumbered side always packs extra tricks.
That's when my head got yanked up roughly.
"Hey."
Toward the one who seemed like the leader.
Her eyes—half curiosity, half suspicion—scanned me head to toe. Like she was appraising meat at market, from what I could tell.
"What're you? Another Magical Girl?"
"Your mom's..."
"Aha, so you're with the Magical Girls, huh?"
She flashed a sleazy grin.
"Guess that makes you one of the Magical government's lapdog bastards, here to nab us?"
"Lapdog bastard... that's you, you fucking bitch."
"Yeah, that's the spirit—keep fighting back."
The leader licked her lips as she eyed me, like she'd spotted a tasty meal.
The other Magical Girls looked about the same.
"Three Magical Girls counting the guy... yeah, we're in for some real fun."
"Totally. Can't wait."
I had no idea what kind of 'fun' they meant exactly, but for me, it was a safe bet they'd be getting their rocks off.
This was pure bullshit.
Someone might say, hey, if Magical Girls wanna fuck you, isn't that a win?
Not me.
My resolve was ironclad.
I absolutely would not fuck a Magical Girl.
That's when the leader-type grabbed my hair and forced my eyes to hers.
"Listen up, you Magical government dog. Wanna hear a little wisdom from your big sis?"
"No... fuck... off..."
I shut that down right away.
Nothing worth hearing there. She'd just whine about how wronged they were, how justified, blah blah.
Plus, big sis? This hag?
But the Magical Girl ignored me and kept talking.
"Pay attention—this is the truth of Magical life."
Not the worst for me, actually. Numbness was fading bit by bit, and I could feel my hands halfway already.
"You know what's way better than that 'government' you dogs blindly worship?"
Just hold on a little longer. A bit more.
Soon I'd jam this wand right into that bitch's eye—
"Magical futanari."
"...What?"
—What was I gonna do again?
Couldn't remember.
My mind blanked out for a second.
"Dude... what did you just...?"
"Told ya."
The Magical Girl who'd been yapping let go of my hair and stood up. I just stared blankly at her.
"Better than the Magical government."
My gaze dropped to her bulging skirt.
"Is Magical futanari."
My eyes shot straight up.
At the top of my vision loomed a massive tower. A colossal pillar of flesh, pulsing grandly with each heartbeat.
Yeah.
A dick as thick as my torso stood proud.
Complete with a hefty pair of balls, too.
"Get the picture?"
Full-armor futanari.
And it wasn't just one. All eight Magical major criminals had their own massive cannons pitched high.
"..."
No words came.
No thoughts.
Just one feeling dominating my head.
Awe.
I vaguely recalled some old folk religion that worshipped giant cocks as deities.
Back then, I'd thought it was nonsense. But now? I got it.
Truly gigantic. Majestic. Overwhelming.
"Whaddya think? Impressed by the Magical juicers' majesty?"
Hadn't I just guessed they had wands under their skirts?
Not wrong.
Those were magic wands.
Magic sticks, in English.
Real magic sticks.
At the same time, I wondered: were these even girls? With equipment like that, weren't they something else entirely?
Either way, definitely not human.
That's when the leader futanari swung her meat around with an ecstatic look.
"It was getting itchy down there with no Magical stimulation, begging for a rise... shoulda done this sooner. Had no idea it'd feel this good. Half my Magical life wasted."
The other futas nodded in agreement.
Me? Just despair.
Magical Girls turning dark, falling to evil—cliché city. But packing dicks and going full stud? Who saw that coming?
I knew Magical Girls were nutjobs, but this level of crazy? Unthinkable.
Then a sudden thought hit me.
"Ah, fuck, hold up..."
That futa had declared they'd toy with the Magical Girls from the rear.
Add in those two futas talking about having fun, and the conclusion's clear.
They planned to ravish Whitey and Sora.
Obviously with those cocks. Sexually.
"Ah, fuck. They're such sluts. For real."
Look—one was already losing it to lust.
Makes sense, though. Whitey and Sora are smokeshows. Long as that mouth stays shut.
It hurt.
We weren't super tight or anything, but we'd shared some time together. Bonds form.
And now, powerless to stop them getting gangbanged by these futas? Heartbreaking.
But feelings aside, the futas advanced, cocks at attention.
Toward Whitey and Sora, still out of it, moaning pitifully—
"...Hey."
"Yeah?"
—No, toward me.
"...Why're you coming at me?"
"'Cause you're a total slut."
Oh. That direction?
"Y-You're joking, right?"
No. No way. Absolutely not.
How could anyone with a dick fuck a guy? I kept denying it. Had to, or I'd lose it.
That's when one delicate-looking futa approached, her cock bobbing.
"Truth is, I've been waiting forever for a guy like you to 'enlist' as a Magical Girl."
And whispered low.
"Pucker up."
Shattering all my hopes in one line.
Hadn't I said it a million times? No matter who, I would never fuck a Magical Girl.
Guess I was keeping that promise.
'Cause I wasn't gonna be the one fucking.
I was about to get fucked.
"Ah, fuck."
Losing my male virginity before my regular one.