Chapter 17
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 17
Chapter Title: Magical Roll Call (2)
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In front of the unit where a Monster had supposedly appeared.
Several Magical Girls were gathered there, their faces a mix of annoyance and tension.
Including that racist bitch who'd been chewing me out earlier.
"You're here, darky."
"Yeah, whitey."
She hadn't been in the barracks earlier, so she'd probably rushed out the moment she heard about the alert.
Dumb as a rock and hardworking to boot.
The epitome of trash.
The fact that an A-rank like me had to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with trash like her was enough to twist my mood just a bit.
At that moment, whitey glanced at my arm.
"Darky, why's blood coming out of your arm?"
"Oh, this?"
Sure enough, just as she said, blood was seeping out of one of my arms.
Here's what happened.
When I wouldn't get up no matter what, Sora finally lost her patience and bit down on my arm with all her strength.
They say a fox is basically a dog.
She sure went right for the chomp like a little bitch.
But explaining the whole thing to a dumbass like her felt like too much hassle. She wouldn't get it anyway.
So I gave her the short version.
"Got bit."
I didn't forget to shoot a glare at the culprit.
Look at that bitch dodging my eyes.
What a vicious little shit.
That said, whitey didn't fully get what I meant. She just tilted her head like she had no clue.
"Darky, you got bit?"
"Yeah, she bit the hell outta me."
"By Samcheonjin?"
"Nah, by that fiery fox bitch."
"Oh, Fire Fox."
"Enough, everyone focus! The Magical Captain's here!"
Did she suddenly grow a conscience out of nowhere? Sora blushed for no reason and cut the conversation short.
Right on cue, the Magical Girl with two diamonds on her armband spoke up.
"Everyone here?"
She had to be the Captain.
The chatter died down, replaced by a tense silence thick with anticipation. The Captain scanned the Magical Girls and murmured softly.
"Prepare."
The moment the word left her lips, the Magical Girls raised their wands in unison and echoed the same phrase.
The one they had to utter first before any fierce battle.
Transform.
Naturally, the two beside me said it too.
"Transform."
"Transform!"
This was the moment I witnessed a Magical Girl's transformation live, not just from media.
My first impression wasn't awe—
"You fucking idiots."
—it was pure bullshit.
With so many Magical Girls transforming at once, the light from the effects was overwhelmingly intense.
For a split second, it made sight itself meaningless.
"My eyes fucking hurt."
It really did.
Why not do this somewhere else? This was straight-up inconsiderate.
At least think about other people.
What if someone files a complaint later?
Not that I won't.
As the light faded, my vision filled with Magical Girls in their full outfits.
The two I shared barracks with were no exception.
Whitey's was classic cowgirl gear.
The fox bitch's was a blue miko outfit.
Both with insane exposure. Embarrassing to even look at—I had to avert my eyes a bit.
It even gave me a sense of self-loathing.
I didn't know at first, but now I knew all Magical Girls were insane.
And yet, my lower half was twitching.
"Fuck."
My mind was a mess.
This had nothing to do with my will, but reacting to bitches like these?
If I got turned on by psychos like them, didn't that make me a psycho too?
What a tragedy.
Truly, human trash.
At that moment, Sora finished transforming and approached me with a sly smile.
"What do you think of sis's transformation, senpai?"
What do I think? Obviously.
"Dogshit."
"Oh, how'd you know her Magical Girl name is Gold Retriever?"
I meant it as an insult, but it hit the mark surprisingly well.
Gold Retriever as her Magical Girl name? It fit her golden retriever vibe perfectly.
In simple terms, a total bitch.
That's why it came out so dog-like, you little bitch.
Of course, I wasn't about to say that straight.
"It really looks like a dog."
"Senpai, that's a compliment, right?"
Sora pressed sharply, but I didn't answer.
Not that I had time to anyway.
The Captain who'd given the orders earlier was now slowly extending her finger.
Toward the Monsters faintly visible in the distance.
"Everyone, advance."
At those five words, the Magical Girls sprang into action.
Some shot into the sky in perfect formation, while the rest advanced on the ground in ranks.
Me? I just stood there like an idiot.
"Darky, what're you doing?"
"Senpai, come on!"
The sisters nagged me from both sides, but I stayed put.
What the hell did they expect me to do?
I didn't even know what to do, let alone have the power.
"Hey, you there—the guy."
That's when the Captain pointed at me.
"Yeah, you."
She looked seriously pissed.
Probably because I wasn't following orders, and it rubbed her the wrong way.
"What the hell are you? Disobeying Magical orders can get you executed if it's bad enough."
Pretty brutal words, but I didn't bother responding. Instead, I held out my empty hands.
She furrowed her brow and asked.
"Where's your wand?"
"Don't have one."
"Then what do you have?"
"Nothing."
"Hah."
The Captain clutched her head with one hand and let out a huge sigh.
Then she glared at me with eyes full of contempt and disgust, her lips moving.
"Don't you dare call yourself a Magical Girl anywhere."
"Go tell that shit to someone else, you bitch."
"Ah... yeah, you're right."
Well, it didn't last long.
The Captain blanked out for a second, then snapped back and growled at me again.
"Still, you gotta do your part. Why aren't you? Were you dragged here or something? No?"
She was spouting utter nonsense.
This bitch was a psycho too.
"Yeah, I was dragged."
"Then you should follow orders as—wait, what...?"
"I was dragged here."
You think I'd come here willingly, you psycho?
I glared at her with all that meaning packed in, and the Captain visibly panicked.
"W-wait... you're saying you were actually dragged here? Not some psycho who volunteered to become a Magical Girl?"
The world had gone mad.
Psychos actually volunteering to become Magical Girls?
For a normal guy like me just trying to live, this world was way too harsh.
End times. Real end times.
"Yeah."
I nodded.
She frantically made a call somewhere.
Probably reporting to her superior.
"Yes, this is her. No, it's just..."
From her reaction, the Captain knew nothing. Not who I was, not what I'd done today.
Whatever.
I waved to whitey and Sora anyway.
"See? Good luck out there."
I wouldn't be on the front lines anyway.
"Fucking hell."
I was wrong.
I got roped into the Monster extermination.
"Senpai, cut the Magical swearing."
"You think I can help it?"
Here's how it went down.
After a few calls, the Captain stepped away briefly. When she came back, she handed me something.
"They send me this piece of shit to fight Monsters with? How am I not supposed to lose my shit?"
A plain-looking wand.
"B-but senpai, even a standard-issue wand lets you use basic magic just fine. It's pretty sturdy too—not as good as a personal one, but still."
"I can't use magic. What's the point?"
"Ah... r-right."
I was genuinely dumbfounded.
Handing a wand to someone who couldn't cast a single spell and throwing them into the line of fire? Made no sense.
Then again, in a place full of psychos, it wasn't entirely illogical.
Anyway, that's how things stood.
After that, nothing much happened. Like she'd known this was coming, whitey—who'd gone ahead—waited for me with Sora.
Now we were all heading to join the other Magical Girls.
"Darky, no Magical mouth-fight with the Captain?"
"Of course I bitched her out."
At first, I refused to accept it. I argued hard until words failed, then even grabbed the Captain's collar.
"But why'd she make you go?"
Nothing changed, though.
— "The Magical Battalion Commander ordered it..."
All I got were lame excuses.
"Because of that fucking Battalion Commander bitch."
I'd only seen her once, but I already hated the Battalion Commander.
Time to add that bitch to my complaint kill list.
Twice a day, for real.
That's when Sora suddenly spoke up.
"But aside from that, this situation feels kinda off."
"What else?"
Was there something as weird as sending a normal guy into the meat grinder?
"The spot where the Monster appeared."
"So?"
"You don't know?"
"Nope."
Of course not.
I wasn't around during the Monster incident.
"Oh right, your isekai Magical concept."
"It's not a concept, fuck."
"Anyway."
Sora brushed off my words and continued.
"Monsters usually show up in Magical residential areas with lots of civilians."
"Yeah?"
"That's why most Magical units are in Magical cities, and they use Magical Gates to get to distant spots fast."
An unexpected tidbit from Sora.
"Gates?"
"Yeah, Magical Gates."
The existence of gates.
Something from novels and media, but hearing it mentioned so casually in real life felt weird.
Like I was the outsider.
"But."
Before I could dwell on it, Sora quickly added her doubt.
"Why would Monsters show up right in front of a Magical unit?"
Now that she mentioned it, it did seem off.
Magical Girls existed to fight Monsters.
In simple terms, Monster-killing experts.
And yet, a Monster brazenly appeared right in front of where they were gathered.
"Never happened before?"
"Once during a Monster invasion, but it was just one, not a group like this."
"Huh."
And it was a whole pack this time.
"Well, that's just what I heard, so not sure. It was before Magical Girls even showed up anyway. Probably everyone died except one."
Not that it mattered since there were no Magical Girls, Sora added.
"Anyway, don't worry about it. Just a weird Magical vibe."
Sora tried to downplay it, but I couldn't shake the feeling.
Something was wrong.
Why here of all places?
Did they come just to die?
Or some other purpose?
Even if Monsters acted on instinct, this was way different from before.
I didn't know why, but it felt ominous.
"Senpai! Watch out!"
"Darky! Dodge!"
Sora and whitey's sharp voices snapped me out of my thoughts.
"What, why are you guys suddenly—"
What filled my vision were fangs far sharper and fiercer than those two voices.
"Huh?"
Yeah.
The Monster had its jaws wide open.
To mercilessly bite and tear into my head.
"Ah."
To end my life.