Chapter 120
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 120
Chapter Title: Cup Ramen Hell
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This chapter is fictional.
"Sora, mind closing your eyes for a sec?"
I looked at Sora with a serious gaze.
"Sure thing, senpai."
Sora smiled and shut her eyes at my words.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing."
Most people would hit back with something like, "That's your magical girl life for you."
Just like how soldiers once told their rookies, "That's army life, kid."
But not me.
How could I ever say that to Sora? I'd never forgive myself if I did.
So I went with something else.
"That's my future without you in it."
"Senpai..."
"Got it?"
I flashed a faint smile.
Sora beamed back, touched.
"Don't sneak any cup ramen into my magical scope while my eyes are closed, though. I'll seriously kill you."
Her words came out a bit rough, though.
"Sharp one, aren't you?"
"Think I wouldn't notice? Hurry up and take it!"
In the end, I had no choice but to retrieve the cup ramen I'd slipped into Sora's magical scope.
Of course, I wasn't the only one pulling stunts like that.
"Vivi, you inferior breed, you wanna die?"
"N-no! I only put in a little... Hey! You hetero bastard! Stop that! Get that cup ramen out of my magical onahole!"
"H-hey, you go in and out down there anyway, so a little takeout won't hurt!"
We were all locked in a game of hot potato.
Passing cup ramen off on each other.
Scratch that.
It wasn't just us—every magical girl in the barracks was doing the same.
I get it if you're baffled.
Why cup ramen out of nowhere?
Cup ramen? Cup ramen? Why? How? What the hell?
I understand completely. Hell, I'm just as baffled as anyone right now.
It all started with the battalion commander.
"Dispose of every last one."
She gathered all the magical girls in the barracks and dropped that bombshell right out of the gate.
"Dispose of what?"
"What else? These cup ramen, obviously."
She pointed at the mountain of them.
No, not just a mountain.
No word could capture the sheer scale of the cup ramen hell we faced.
It was a wall.
A wall that felt utterly insurmountable, physically and mentally.
The very embodiment of "limit."
"Expiration dates are coming up soon, so make sure you finish them before then. It'll be your loss if you don't. We're not throwing any out, after all."
Someone piped up with a question at that.
Why so sudden?
The battalion commander probably replied something like:
"Looks like there was a little mix-up at the supply depot. So these cup ramen that should've come ages ago are only showing up now."
A minor supply screw-up, she said.
Though in reality, it was a total catastrophe beyond saving.
"Oh, and one more thing—no hoarding or burying them. You have to eat them."
No dumping allowed, either.
"You wouldn't want to pollute the environment, right? Every single one of these was paid for with our blood, sweat, and taxes."
Environmental concerns meant our stomachs were the only landfill option.
"Try it, and you'll face disciplinary action. Collective punishment, too. But if you report someone dumping, the reporter gets excused from ramen duty."
She even set up a system to make us snitch on each other.
A ruthless power play.
Then one magical girl raised a doubt.
"But what if we do it anyway?"
"Well, you'd better prepare yourselves."
She added a chilling warning about mobilizing every connection to make us pay, then wrapped up.
In the end, every magical girl, us included, got saddled with endless piles of near-expired cup ramen.
And that's how we ended up here.
"Sora, any other flavors in yours?"
"Nope, all the same kind."
It might've been bearable with variety, but every batch handed out to us magical girls was identical.
Yukgaejang ramen.
And the brand? Samyang.
Oh, and the battalion commander mentioned the expirations were super close, right?
They weren't. Most had just days left. Some were down to hours.
Naturally, the cup ramen never ended, no matter how much we ate. The smell alone made us gag now.
We were truly stumped.
"Fuck."
For a split second, another isekai sounded better than choking this down.
Some might wonder here:
You're just gonna take this lying down?
No resistance to the abuse?
Fair point. That's why I marched straight to the battalion commander's office to confront her.
To talk my way out of this mess.
Even an A-rank like me, who's great at navigating unfair hierarchies, speaks up when it counts.
I'd done it before, so I had confidence. Back in the army, I even grabbed a rifle and kitchen knife to "talk" with the division commander.
She didn't listen at first, but I kept at the "dialogue."
Eventually, it paid off.
All thanks to my efforts.
Duh. Sneak into her quarters at night, wake her up bedside, and even a division commander cracks for a "chat."
I'll never forget those midnight tears of emotion. Proof my hard work shone through.
So yeah, I was confident this time too.
I could resolve it through "dialogue."
Right on cue, Nakji brought it up.
"By the way, mid-level, didn't you say earlier you'd file a magical complaint and head to the magical battalion commander's office? How'd it go?"
"She wasn't there."
"Too bad."
Confidence doesn't always guarantee the best outcome, though. Not this time.
I'd hauled an armful of cup ramen to her office, but she was nowhere.
Even her pet's food bowl was empty—she hadn't swung by at all.
I came back with minor gains but no real progress.
And things got way worse than when we first got the ramen.
"Anyone check the water cooler? Hot water coming out now?"
"I peeked at the magical water dispenser a bit ago—still just cold water."
"We're screwed."
The finicky cooler, already unreliable, broke down from the sudden rush. No hot water, not even lukewarm.
"Anyone scoped out the magical break room? Thought the repairs would be done by now."
"Nah, Hetero Nazi. Magical construction's still dragging. The contractor took the money and ghosted, so it's backed up."
"This is why we need to exclude inferiors entirely. 'Magical coexistence' my ass—what a joke. It's like injecting magic into a rotting corpse."
Plus, the break room wrecked by the captain's dumb stunt was still out of commission.
No boiling water on a stove or microwave, either.
"Oh, and no hot water from the magical cafeteria anymore. The girls there say they're too swamped."
Last resort gone.
"I wanna escape this magical purgatory hell already. My magical stress is kicking in."
Nakji groaned, but none of us could blame her.
We all knew the options: two.
Soak 'em in cold water and force it down.
Or chomp dry ramen like jerky.
Either way, we had to eat.
The old me would've buried it and moved on, but I was a step slow this time.
Fresh off detention, another punishment could mean harsher penalties.
A-ranks like me don't do discipline. Detention was unavoidable, but getting dinged again? No way.
Still, resolve didn't help.
The piles loomed endless, no solutions in sight.
I sighed in frustration.
"Hoo."
"Huh? What brings you here?"
[Just came to check on our Ibbo.]
A familiar yet unfamiliar voice drew my eyes.
A blue-furred fox entered my view.
Right—Sora's mascot.
[I sensed Ibbo's mind was super uncomfortable, so I came over. Am I intruding?]
"No way! We missed you! Great to see you!"
She must've filed some outing or checkout request to visit the barracks.
Didn't matter which—Sora was thrilled, so all good.
"Here, eat some of this while you're at it! Partner!"
[Nah, sorry. Can't.]
Not important anyway.
Getting rid of the cup ramen was.
But that thought didn't last.
"Huh? What?"
[Hmm.]
The fox mascot suddenly approached, staring intently at me.
Or more precisely...
- Chomp!
"Ah, you fucking bitch."
She bit me.