Chapter 3
Chapter 3
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: At Lua’s Handmade Hamburger Shop
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"...Kiiing."
Hello. This is a dragon who wants to eat a hamburger.
Tactical Filial Piety Grandpa reported me to the Management Bureau or whatever it was, and now police are swarming the whole area around the Yongsan-dong convenience store.
"I'm not a bad dragon..."
Her plump tail traced a Möbius strip before drooping limply.
With the hamburger right under her nose but impossible to eat, her energy was draining away. The stress was beyond words, and anger started boiling up.
"Should I just burn it all down?"
Flames whooshed! from the corner of her mouth, but she quickly reined them in.
...If she threw a tantrum now, she'd never get another hamburger for the rest of her life. That much was obvious.
If the people who made hamburgers vanished, who'd make hers for her?
Besides, back in her days as a man before dying, she was such a hopeless cook that she botched even instant ramen. Self-sufficiency was out of the question.
If she couldn't boil a single pack of ramen, there was no way she'd manage a hamburger.
"...Haa."
Perched on a rooftop, she popped the five-thousand-won bill into her cute little mouth and suckled on it.
A dragon pulling a sad face because she couldn't eat a hamburger—talk about contradictory.
"Am I seriously gonna turn into a thief dragon at this rate?"
Her stomach was so empty, it felt like laser beams might shoot from her eyes any second.
"...Not that they aren't sparkling already."
Truth was, they already were.
Anyway.
With legitimate hamburger-buying off the table, her only remaining choice was righteous thievery.
"What if I sneak into the convenience store, snag a hamburger, and leave the five thousand won on the counter?"
She stroked her tail, which was thrashing excitedly now that the brilliant idea had hit her.
She couldn't take it anymore.
Hamburger... here I come!
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．
"No one's around, right...?"
She'd put a newspaper on her head for show and was glancing around.
"Okay... no cops."
Seizing the moment the police had vanished, she crawled on all fours and ducked behind a parked truck.
It reminded her of playing around like this with friends as a kid.
Memories bubbled up, curling her lips in a catlike grin.
"Ugh... gotta watch the tail..."
Her tail was kicking up a fuss, moving honestly with her emotions, so she hugged it to her chest to calm it as she went.
The target: the convenience store.
Tactical Filial Piety Grandpa was holding down the fort, but he wouldn't spot a quick hamburger grab.
And if he did? Straight-up breakthrough.
"Hurry up..."
She darted from car to parked car like a bald assassin.
Target reached. She hung back at a safe distance to scout the situation.
Grandpa stood there, eyes blazing, gripping his filial piety stick at the ready.
Strolling right in? Not happening.
"But... that doesn't mean I've got no tricks."
She pulled a small pebble from her bosom and flicked it lightly at the store window.
Tok-!
The pebble bounced off weakly and rolled across the ground.
"...!!"
It was barely more than ambient noise, but Grandpa reacted anyway—snatching up his stick and bolting outside in a flash.
"You little punk!! Lizard hamburger thief!!"
To lead him on, she chucked another pebble to the far side of the store.
"Over there!! Hold it right there!!"
As Grandpa charged toward the sound, she zipped into the now-abandoned store.
"It actually worked?"
Finally, she could have her hamburger.
She'd tried keeping her conscience clean at first. But now that she was an anomaly herself, she had to live by their rules.
"Heh heh heh... Here comes the hamburger-munching dragon!"
Suppressing her glee, she headed for the food aisle, thick with hamburger aroma.
The moment her slit pupils narrowed and drool streamed down as she reached out—
"Weeng?!"
The hamburger shelf held nothing but an empty box.
And on top, a post-it note declaration to boot.
"No way, Grandpa, for real!!"
That Tactical Filial Piety Grandpa meant business.
The most trustworthy ally, the most nightmarish foe...
She'd been totally played.
"Kuaek!! Kyaang! Grr!!"
Grinding her sharp fangs, she burst out of the store.
Time for an elder assault and a palace raid...!
"...Where'd he go this time!"
She tracked the grandpa hunting for her, but now he was nowhere in sight.
"Ughhh!"
Kyao-!
She scoured the area fiercely but came up empty on Grandpa.
Loath to admit defeat, she huffed and lashed her tail every which way.
It whipped up menacing whooshes, but nothing more. Today's burger haul was kaput.
"...Hiiing."
In the wake of surging rage came a wave of gloom.
Hunger was driving her insane.
Why did a top-of-the-food-chain creature have to crave hamburgers of all things?
Without that stupid restriction, she'd hole up in some mountain valley, hunting goral and chowing down.
"Ah... a goral-meat burger would be so good..."
Every human-era food warped through her filters into burger form. Drool poured from her mouth.
Too starved to spread her wings and fly, she shuffled into a back alley.
At this rate, she'd starve out before a week as an anomaly.
Ah... her tragic dragon life.
Like the little match girl, she wandered in search of a burger joint, hoping to sniff the flames one last time before the end.
"...Sniff sniff."
Trudging aimlessly down the alley in pursuit of burger scent, a violent, oily whiff hit her from deeper in.
"Not your average oil... olive oil?"
Regular chain burger joints used cheap cooking oil with no real flavor. This was different.
No nuking prepped ingredients here. This place handcrafted everything from scratch.
Enthralled by the aroma, she wandered in a daze. When she snapped to, she was at a burger shop marked by its moon logo.
"Handmade hamburgers...!"
Handmade burgers were the pinnacle: that aggressive oil scent paired with zero regrets.
Simply put, superior to any chain burger.
"...But what's with that."
The smell was mouthwateringly good, but the shop tucked in the alley had an oddly creepy vibe.
Grotesque flesh clumps plastered to the walls, eyes twitching.
"...An anomaly?"
They were clearly beyond comprehension, so she edged closer to the entrance, puzzled.
Pshh—
The flesh sensed her and contracted, spraying gross mucus.
"...Eww."
She backpedaled to dodge, slipped past the blobs, and stepped inside.
Tingling~ A pleasant chime rang out, followed by signs of life.
"Welcome... huh...?"
Soon, a woman's listless greeting drifted over.
"...A person? What's going on? She's got horns and a tail?"
The woman emerged from the kitchen and thudded right up to her.
"You can see me?"
"Yeah. Clear as day."
She pointed at herself like some lost ghost, and the woman just shrugged.
...Was she really seeing straight?
For reference, the woman had grotesque flesh plastered to her face, shoulders, and legs.
Her face was completely smothered.
One more minute, and who knew what might happen.
"So, what's the deal, kiddo? This is a handmade burger joint."
Unlike the scared or hostile folks, this woman didn't bat an eye. She knelt to meet her gaze and asked softly.
Sizzle— Flesh on her cheek oozed pus onto it.
"That doesn't bug you?"
"...Huh? What? Got something on my face?"
She wiped the pus and responded as if oblivious to the flesh at all.
How was she supposed to fix this?
Couldn't just leave her be—not with that burger smell pulsing through the shop.
A chef who could mesmerize a dragon, ensnared by anomalies? Humanity's massive loss.
"Hold on a sec, sis. Just wait."
"Huh? Sis?"
Perplexed by the kid calling her "sis," she froze as the dragon whirled around, slashing at thin air with her claws.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Peeling off the anomaly."
"Anomaly? You mean there's more here besides you?"
To her, it just looked like frantic hand-waving.
Slash—!
For the dragon, it was major surgery ripping flesh from the walls.
The squeal! of the blobs as they peeled off was downright satisfying.
She cleared every last bit: tables, chairs, wallpaper, ceiling. Even the stuff outside.
"Stay still."
"...?"
Finally, she approached the woman—question marks practically floating over her flesh-swathed head—and extended a hand.
Pluck pluck—!
Careful not to hurt her, she stripped away every scrap.
In the end, a stunning ice queen emerged: unnaturally white hair for a Korean, sharp black eyes, flawless features.
"Huh? What the—? Why do I suddenly feel so light?"
The instant the flesh released her, she expressed shock as her lingering fatigue lifted.
"Hehe!"
Having rescued the goddess of burgers, her mood soared, tail swishing happily. The woman drew near and locked eyes.
"There was an anomaly?"
"Invisible to you, sis, but yeah!"
"Hmm...? Owe you one, huh? Explains why I've felt so heavy lately."
A decadent smile curved her lips. She ruffled the dragon's head and stood.
"So, what's up with the shop visit? Here for a burger?"
"Uh... oh yeah! Came to buy one!"
Melting under the petting like a panting pup, she snapped back and scanned the menu.
【 Signature Menu: 】
Lua Burger │ 28,000₩
The wall menu, in pretty handwriting, listed just one burger.
...Twenty-eight thousand won.
Shocked by the handmade price tag, she dropped her five-thousand-won bill. It fluttered down like a falling leaf.
"...Nooo."
How after all that searching.
A shop that wouldn't chase her off, and now this?!
Hamburgers out of five-grand reach? Unacceptable!
"Kiiiing!!"
She plopped down, bawling fat chicken-shit tears from huge eyes. The owner picked up the bill from the floor.
"You want a burger that bad, huh? You cleared the anomaly, so this one's on the house."
"H-huh?"
"Park it in a chair and wait. Oh, that one's... maybe too tall for a little girl like you?"
"Ue! Ick! Kiiing! I can si-it!"
She flopped upright in a frenzy and clambered onto the chair with grunts.
"Signature menu coming right up. It's killer good—you'll flip. Dunno if it'll suit anomaly taste buds, though... heh?"
The Lua’s Hamburger owner headed to the kitchen bill in hand, a blinding halo shining behind her back.
Anomalies... daring to mess with a saint whose benevolence saints themselves couldn't touch?
Decision made.
This place was her holy ground.
From today, she was Lua’s Hamburger's protector.
Attack the owner? Consider it an attack on her.
Incoming anomalies? She'd rip 'em with teeth, torch 'em, and wipe 'em from existence.
"Grr..."
Sizzle—
A nose-stinging, intoxicating aroma billowed from the kitchen. Drool pooled into a puddle on the table.
Finally... after three days and twenty hours, her first hamburger.
Drool carved a mini waterfall off the table's edge.
Her pupils slitted vertically amid the swelling oily onslaught.
"Lua burger's up."
The owner arrived with a tray and plated the burger.
"Th-this... is the hamburger...?"
"Pretty big, yeah? Cut it like steak."
A bun the size of her head led the charge, topped by beef patties so juicy they streamed.
Fresh lettuce, tomato, cheese stacked high...
A skewer stabbed through the middle to hold the towering behemoth together. Dazed for a moment by the sheer scale—
"...Hik?!"
Fries thicker than her tiny fingers steamed in a wire basket, wafting savory bliss.