No One Is On My Side
So I have no allies.
Yoon Jay confirmed his appearance in Daldongne and then met Choi Hyeran, the screenwriter of Crown — she had insisted on meeting him in person.
"Hello, Writer-nim. I'm—"
"Shh."
Choi Hyeran pressed her index finger to her lips and looked him up and down.
"Would you mind turning in place for me? Nice and slow."
It was such an oddly dazed, inspired-seeming request that he simply obliged her.
While working out her concept for Crown, Choi Hyeran had seen Yoon Jay in Along Along and decided he was a perfect fit for 'Yoo Sihyeon,' the role she was writing for him now.
He really is good.
She'd thought there wasn't a single thing about his face or his aura that missed — a charm that captivated people across the board — but seeing him up close, he was even more magnetic.
"Ooh, I like it. You're exactly the Sihyeon I've been picturing."
"Thank you."
"Have a seat. Honestly, I invite a guest over and then go off daydreaming like that."
"Not at all."
Choi Hyeran was a star screenwriter of the drama world, the kind who hadn't just one but several blockbuster hits to her name. Every single work outside those megahits had posted strong ratings too.
"Why did you take so long to reach out? I'm a fairly decent writer, you know."
"I'm sorry. Being surrounded by such distinguished seniors, I suppose I was nervous."
"That's exactly Sihyeon, that hesitation. I absolutely loved your look in Along Along, Jay-ssi."
She seemed quite easygoing, but he decided he'd better not tell her that the delay was because he'd been reviewing scripts from rookie writers.
Thanks to Choi Hyeran's name attached to it, Crown had drawn a full mobilization of famous actors.
There was even an actress known for playing angelic, candy-girl heroines attempting a radical transformation as a woman plotting revenge against her husband. Even from the synopsis alone, plenty of people were anticipating it.
"How should I approach the role?"
"Hmm. Honestly, as you are, you'd already do fine, but—"
Crown traced the tangled web of people clawing their way toward the hospital directorship, and the families entangled with them. Yoon Jay would play a young anesthesiology professor at Asin Hospital — an ambitious man playing both sides of the deputy director couple at the story's center.
"But I'd like you to be a little... more dangerous. More lethal. You understand what I mean, don't you?"
"Yes."
Dangerous and lethal. It would be something different from Muhywi Daegun, the role he'd played in Along Along. If Muhywi Daegun seemed the type to genuinely draw his sword and cut a man down when crossed, then Yoo Sihyeon of Crown would carry his danger in a far more sensual register.
"...That's what the writer said, but what exactly am I supposed to do?"
"She means you have to be completely sexy, hyung."
Han Jin-woo answered with his thumb raised and his eyes sparkling. That's really not my area of expertise... After a moment's thought, Yoon Jay asked Han Jin-woo to get him a mannequin.
"Hyung, do you seriously have to do that?"
"Fine, then you be the scene partner."
"Absolutely not."
Han Jin-woo recoiled in horror and retreated. So Yoon Jay placed the mannequin as his partner, pressed his body close, and photographed himself from every possible angle.
Things that looked fine to the naked eye could change on camera, so he was studying which pose was more attractive, which angle would appeal to viewers best.
Even with Han Jin-woo watching, he didn't stop, seemingly unembarrassed at all. Well, that was presumably how one became an actor.
But isn't this more than enough, though? He doesn't need to do all that.
The Garden of Evil was its own brand of unhinged, so he'd let that one slide, but couldn't he just use the same feeling from when he'd had that fluttering almost-romance with the female lead in Along Along? Besides, this hyung reeled people in without even trying... So thought Han Jin-woo — and then his breath caught. At some point, Yoon Jay's entire atmosphere had shifted.
Whoa, what the—
Something about it... it felt like being pulled under, and those eyes, something uncanny in them — it was hard to breathe. If a real scene partner had been standing where the mannequin was, would they have kept their wits about them? Han Jin-woo belatedly shouted.
"Ah! That one! That was perfect."
"Yeah?"
"Look at it on the screen."
Yoon Jay studied the footage of himself just now with a critical eye. Was this the feeling the writer was asking for?
"What do you think?"
"Completely. It's that whole 'grown man' vibe, you know? Not the ticklish, fresh-faced kind of thing — more like the second you see it you go, whoa, if I let my guard down around this guy I'm done for?"
Yoon Jay nodded at Han Jin-woo's review. Even though he'd gotten the feeling he wanted, he didn't stop practicing. He kept calculating the angle of his face, the placement of his body, where to direct his gaze.
Wow, if that hyung ever set his mind to seducing someone, it'd be game over.
Han Jin-woo laughed hollowly as he watched. Honestly, his own heart had been racing. He'd admit it.
And so, with every preparation complete, Yoon Jay appeared at the script reading, bowing politely to his seniors.
"Hello, everyone."
"Ah, uh... yes."
This was a production he'd be filming in parallel with Daldongne, so he wasn't sure how well he'd be able to sink into it — but that was no reason to treat it carelessly.
He'd only received the scripts for the early episodes so far, but the writer had told him in advance about Yoo Sihyeon's role in the story and how it would end.
His character had to stir people's curiosity through sheer presence alone in the drama's opening act. A poisoned chalice of a man — someone anyone could see was bound to fall into a love that was obviously dangerous.
[I don't care if it's a man or a woman — I want someone anyone who watches would fall head over heels for.]
[The character is morally corrupt by design, you see? But he shouldn't look cheap. He should look refined — so refined that the audience watching gets confused...]
[Something like this... Have I asked something too difficult?]
Yoon Jay did his utmost to deliver on the writer's difficult request. And the results showed in the reactions of the other actors.
What is this?
Several people who met his eyes found themselves looking at Yoon Jay for a long moment. Something about him — they couldn't look away.
"Hello. I'm Yoon Jay, playing Yoo Sihyeon. I look forward to working with you all."
When his turn came at last, he stood and bowed, and the gazes lingered on him. The face he'd been born with, the physique, and an atmosphere deliberately crafted on top of it all.
Yes. That's exactly it.
Choi Hyeran knew she'd made an extravagant request, but she hadn't expected Yoon Jay to arrive this perfectly prepared.
She'd known he acted well for a rookie, but Yoo Sihyeon was only meant to make an impression in the early episodes anyway, and every other lead and supporting actor was distinguished both in recognition and in skill — she'd assumed they would carry the later stretch of the story just fine.
Now that I've seen it, it almost feels like a waste to kill him off...
But seeing him in person, it genuinely did feel like a waste. There was nothing to be done, though. Because of the Daldongne shoot, Yoon Jay was already contracted for only five episodes.
Choi Hyeran regretted her own decision to write Yoo Sihyeon in as a character to be used up and discarded early.
Pre-production on Crown wrapped, and the teaser trailer was released with a full promotional push. A vast hospital humming with activity; doctors and patients who all looked busy.
"Deputy Director."
"Ah, yes. Don't go greeting me so formally, all of you."
Every time the middle-aged deputy director walked the corridor, everyone who spotted him greeted him with a smile — showing the world the breadth of his social standing and goodwill.
The trailer had gone up in real time, and reactions were trickling in one by one. Jang Sunggun, cast as Deputy Director 'Park Yoonjae,' was a youth star of yesteryear who had aged into a middle age attractive by anyone's standards and remained a busy working actor.
Then, just as Park Yoonjae was heading out the door, Yoo Sihyeon appeared before him in a pristine white doctor's coat.
"Deputy Director."
"Professor Yoo. You haven't had lunch yet, have you?"
"Good news of some kind, sir?"
"A date with my wife. Eat well, both of you."
When the deputy director, stopped on his way to the rendezvous, turned his gaze elsewhere to make a call, Yoo Sihyeon walks straight past the madam of the house as she hurries toward her husband.
And the hands of the two passing figures brush against each other. Yoo Sihyeon's fingers trail explicitly, deliberately, across her palm — a charged undercurrent that anyone could read.
The real-time reactions kept piling up. Provocative, yes — but all the more cathartic and fun for it, which was why the title of 'Choi Hyeran, the writer you trust and watch' carried weight, and the cast was stacked to boot.
The shocking transformation of Im Siran, who'd played nothing but good-hearted roles, opposite Jang Sunggun, still riding high on popularity. And Yoon Jay — celebrated since his debut, whose brief turn even in The Garden of Evil had whipped up a storm — was another of the drama's big selling points.
"I hear the hospital director is retiring this time?"
"Oh my. And where did you hear that, Professor?"
Then the screen changes. At a couples' gathering, the husbands trade complaints about how exhausting the hospital is, the wives trade gossip — and among them, a deputy director and a madam exchanging something far from innocent with Yoo Sihyeon.
"Our Hwiyeon is so lucky. A husband that capable, and soon to be hospital director too..."
"You never really know, unnie."
The trailer showed the deputy director and his wife — tender on the surface, but with something sour underneath — while interspersing glimpses of the conflicts brewing among the people around them.
And then came the scene of Jung Hwiyeon and Yoo Sihyeon's secret tryst — and the reactions exploded.
A kiss as he pulls her blouse down from her shoulder. Her face never shows, but that statue-carved upper body spawned countless capture memes within minutes.
It had received a 19+ rating, but it wasn't as explicit or lewd as that might suggest.
Someone bled to death on screen in the drama, and there was violence and a degree of sexual content, which presumably accounted for the rating — but to Yoon Jay, who had spent years living in comparatively open-minded countries, the scenes were so mild that his honest reaction was, this warrants a rating?
"The back in the trailer was you, right, hyung? Wow, those muscles just—"
"What's this? Even our big brother gets embarrassed?"
But having his family watch and then leave commentary — that was a bit... unbearable.
If the trailer alone got this reaction, what would they say after watching the actual episodes... The twins, sensing they had him cornered, covered his face with both hands and teased him mercilessly, while Park Hyun-ah watched the whole thing laughing before finally coming to his rescue.
"As it happens, Hyeran-unnie was going on and on about you too."
"Are you close with Writer Choi?"
"Mm. Right after that article broke about you being our kids' half-brother, she called me up — 'Do you know Yoon Jay? Put in a word for me, introduce us.' That's the kind of personal favor she asked."
Park Hyun-ah was famous enough that listing popular screenwriters without her name would be an omission. Yet the twins and Yoon Jay alike had deliberately steered clear of her work — in case it ever stirred up controversy.
"I feel sorry for no reason now."
"It's all water under the bridge."
What surprised him more was that he'd managed to make the famously stubborn Choi Hyeran sweat over him. Isn't she still a rookie? She debuted barely a year ago, and she's already making a writer like that call in personal favors.
"What did that writer say about our big brother?"
"Apparently she charmed every single person on that set?"
Park Hyun-ah, who had been expected to rescue him, joined the Yoon Jay teasing brigade instead. Yoon Jay shook his head and simply reached for his water.
"So I have no allies."
Crown was a role he'd be leaving midway through anyway, so this fuss wouldn't last. And besides...
That feeling from back then — I didn't feel it.
He longed to feel again that sensation he'd found in Daldongne. Was drama really the only way to lighten the weight of trauma?
Just then, Jung Seung-woo's messages popped up on his screen. Seung-woo had become fairly well known after appearing on a military survival variety show.
And his close comrades from that service had been planning a military-themed MyTube channel, and had once floated the idea of Yoon Jay joining them for an episode.
Maybe I'll give it a shot...
From what he'd heard, they were renting an entire set to do it properly... Yoon Jay typed out a reply to Jung Seung-woo.