A Complete Pushover
A total pushover, that's what he was.
“Did you get back from A Manager's Daily Life all right?”
“Yeah. Oh, right—here, take this.”
“What is it?”
“I bought some snacks over there. Share them with the kids.”
Yoon Jay took the paper bag from Han Jin-woo, who had arrived just in time, and handed it over to the twins. It had been quite a while since he'd seen his half-siblings. With the year-end stages coming up, the two of them had been so busy they claimed they barely had time to send a single text.
“Oh, nice, snacks.”
“Perfect timing, we were crashing.”
The Buster members were already tearing the wrappers off the chocolate and popping pieces into their mouths. And Seong Jia of Flava, who had been hovering shyly in the back, stole a quick bow.
“Hello.”
“Hey. How's your ankle?”
“It's fine.”
Seong Jia smiled bashfully. Back when they filmed A Manager's Daily Life, Yoon Jay had caught her when she wobbled in her high heels.
She had already been quietly following Yoon Jay's career, but after that moment she fell completely into fan mode. It wasn't romantic—closer to pure fandom devotion.
“Hyung, are you going to the AA Awards too?”
“Yeah.”
“Then we'll get to see you again.”
Ji Yeon-woo, who had once eyed Yoon Jay with suspicion, and the rest of the members all flocked around him, calling him hyung. Yoon Jay smiled awkwardly. I'm not exactly a fun person, though... is it just because I answer their messages?
“Shouldn't they just hand our hyung the New Star Award right now?”
“He can take New Star and then go for Best Supporting Actor. Right?”
“Ah, we should've done a congratulatory stage for him.”
“We still could, you know.”
The members of both groups trailed after Yoon Jay like ducklings as he headed toward the waiting room. Staff and cast members passing nearby glanced at him and the two groups as they went by. He looked like the Pied Piper of Hamelin. A photographer from the organizers caught the scent and snapped a few shots.
“Hey, kids. Aren't you curious about your own awards?”
But this was a music awards show—why were they having a serious debate about his awards instead of their own? They were chirping like a flock of baby chicks, and Yoon Jay finally burst out laughing.
“Winning would be nice for us, but this is your first time, hyung. Aren't you excited?”
“Hmm...”
It was Yoo Jihyuk, Buster's leader, who answered. Yoon Jay let the question trail off ambiguously. The truth was, it wasn't his first. He'd swept everything there was to win as a child... but calling it his first felt like a lie, and saying otherwise felt like a confession. So he stayed vague.
So this is the problem.
As long as his identity stayed hidden, he would keep deceiving them like this, even without meaning to. He believed no secret lasted forever, and he expected that someday the truth—that he was Yoon Jae-hee—would come out.
But he couldn't reveal it yet. Even if he'd overcome his fear of cameras, the painful past he'd buried hadn't simply vanished. And he'd only become a little famous this year; as the actor Yoon Jay, any real achievement was still a long way off.
“Kids, we have to go now.”
The managers of both groups arrived to collect them.
“Oppa, you're watching our whole stage, right?”
“Of course I'm watching all of it.”
At that answer, Yoon Do-jun and Yoon Do-hwa's faces lit up.
“Watch us later, okay!”
“I will. I'm looking forward to it.”
With the chattering crowd dispersing, the hallway quickly quieted down. Han Jin-woo, who had been following quietly behind, stepped up beside Yoon Jay.
“Wow, it's like a storm just passed through.”
“Tell me about it.”
“And hyung, I honestly thought you were their homeroom teacher. You know, one of those popular teachers who's really good to their students.”
Well, the age gap is exactly right for that. Escorted by a staff member, he headed for the actors' waiting room. It was small, but it had everything he needed.
“Oh, this is pretty nice. Get some rest, hyung. Looking at the cue sheet, it's going to be a while.”
“Right.”
Yoon Jay sank into the sofa and covered his eyes with his arm. Exhausted despite having done almost nothing—a sign that the mask he'd crafted was still far from perfect.
As he sat there half-reclined with his eyes closed, cheers erupted from outside.
“Sounds like your siblings' groups just went on? That level of cheering, anyway.”
“Really?”
Yoon Jay had been asked about his siblings' groups during ad shoots and photo shoots. Buster and Flava were the idols representing the new generation, weren't they? Just then, a camera doing a broadcast test on the monitor caught the two of them.
“Wake me up when the kids come on.”
“Yes, sir.”
Impressive. But he had no leisure to watch it right now. Subduing Han Jin-woo had been something even he hadn't truly anticipated.
Those kids too...
Family was no exception. He never knew when he might mistake them for someone else and lash out. He erased everything around him and draped his old, unblemished self back over his shoulders.
“Why does Jay hyung keep getting more handsome, I swear.”
“Right?”
“Should I ask him to teach me his workout routine?”
At the same time, the Buster members settled into the artist seating set up in a corner of the venue. Since fancams filmed the artist seats all day long, everyone kept their phones in their pockets, deliberately not taking them out.
“Jihyuk. It's been a while.”
“Hey.”
“What's wrong with Do-jun?”
He'd greeted the idols nearby warmly enough, but Yoon Do-jun, who would normally have been shouting Hyung! Hyung! and making a racket, was silent.
[What? You want to debut as an idol?]
[Yeah. Well, not debuted yet—I'm still a trainee...]
[Do-hwa too? What on earth are you two thinking! Your father told you not to even glance at this industry!]
Yoon Do-jun could never forget the sight of his father blazing with fury. Even though Yoon Su-heon had promised to support whatever they wanted to do, he had driven in a nail on one point: never the entertainment industry. Whether it was that that sparked their rebellious streak, both of them had knocked on an agency's door without permission anyway.
[Kids. Do you really have to do this?]
[Dad, I'm going to debut. So is Yoon Do-hwa.]
[Whew... Fine.]
It was their mother, Park Hyun-ah, who mediated. Yoon Su-heon gave up on breaking his children's resolve and cheered on their dreams—but he still looked dissatisfied, as if there were some other reason.
Only later did Do-jun realize that the reason had been someone standing beyond his father's shoulder. Yoon Jae-hee.
It's not that I can't understand him.
His older brother sometimes looked sad. Changing his name before debuting, and that time he'd cautiously tested the waters before that, too...
[Honestly, it wasn't great back then. The industry was more cutthroat than it is now, I guess you'd say.]
[He got angry because he was thinking of you two. Me, I actually wanted Father to pull me out of there.]
The entertainment industry, once he'd stepped inside it himself, was nothing like the fantasy. Yoon Su-heon, as an industry insider, must have seen and heard plenty—and he'd watched Yoon Jae-hee's case more closely than anyone.
Yoon Do-jun knew his father had opposed them to protect them. But sometimes the resentment still stung. I just wanted Dad's support. I wanted to hear him say I did well—I wanted his praise and encouragement.
[I'm sorry I couldn't cherish you two more.]
After their debut, Yoon Su-heon's attitude had changed, and he'd followed his children's every activity without missing a beat—but then he was gone, far too soon. Then who am I supposed to earn recognition from? Mom already accepted us. Dad was the only one left.
He's really something.
The half-brother who had appeared out of nowhere had filled that place instead. It was Yoon Jay who had eased the grief of losing their father. And that brother had debuted, suddenly become a Rising Star, and made a name for himself everywhere. Less than a year since his debut, no less...
I can do better too.
It wasn't quite jealousy—closer to competitive fire. And the desire to be acknowledged and praised by that remarkable brother—who had already clutched so many awards at a young age and still made industry veterans yearn for his presence—burned far larger.
“What's wrong with Yoon Do-jun?”
“He says he's locking in completely today.”
“Why?”
“Because Jay hyung's here, obviously.”
The Buster members, who could see right through his thoughts, sighed in unison.
“If it's really Ji hyung... whew.”
“Maybe we should get treated like that too.”
“Right?”
“I mean, technically he's known us for less time than we've known each other, no?”
Undeterred by his members' grumbling, Yoon Do-jun was already locked in for the stage.
And Yoon Do-hwa was thinking the exact same thing.
“Unnie, why are you so tense?”
“I don't know... maybe it's the artist seats?”
These days there was said to be little difference between a leader and any other member, but Yoon Do-hwa had genuine leadership, and even the agency staff adored her.
Besides, according to her members, Yoon Do-hwa was born for the stage. She never got nervous on any stage, no matter how big, and always delivered the legendary performances fans raved about.
But at this rare display of nerves, the Flava members stared at her.
“Is it because Jay oppa's here?”
“No, it's not that.”
“Hmm... really?”
Oblivious to her members' knowing looks, Yoon Do-hwa pressed a hand firmly against her heart, which was pounding far too hard.
Tonight's stage is going to blow the roof off.
“Jay.”
The one who came looking for Yoon Jay during his break was none other than Kwon Min-jae.
“Man, it took me forever to find your waiting room. What are you doing that you don't even answer your phone?”
“I couldn't sleep last night... Have you been well?”
“Been fine. The director and writer of Big Company People asked me to pass along their regards.”
“Regards, or a casting pitch in disguise?”
“Little of both, honestly. If we do Season 2 together, that works out great for me too.”
They hadn't seen each other in person much, but they texted often enough that they'd grown close. To the staff around them, the two of them might as well have been best friends.
“Nothing's decided yet, though. I'll think about it later.”
“Think positive. By the way, I heard they set up a little mingling session for the actors over there. You're not going?”
“I barely know anyone there.”
“You've got me.”
If he'd been in better condition, Yoon Jay would have followed Kwon Min-jae and built some rapport with the other actors. You needed to know a few people to understand how the industry really worked.
But there was an after-party after the show anyway, and today just wasn't the right day for it. Even after his roundabout refusal, Kwon Min-jae stayed glued to Yoon Jay's side.
“I'll stay here. I have to watch the kids' stages too.”
“Ah, right, your siblings. Just watch from the waiting room?”
“That's the plan.”
“Hold on a second.”
“What are you up to?”
Watching from the venue itself would beat any monitor. Kwon Min-jae flashed a sly grin and approached a staff member waiting nearby.
“Um, excuse me...”
“Yes?”
The staff member answered a beat late, stunned by Yoon Jay's overwhelming presence standing beside Kwon Min-jae.
“Is it possible to watch the stage from the venue? Not all of it—just... what were your siblings' group names again?”
“Buster and Flava.”
“I'd like to catch just those two stages, if possible...”
“Hmm, I'd have to check. One moment, please.”
The staff member, conferring over his radio, nodded.
“Should be fine. Just be careful not to draw the audience's attention.”
“Thank you.”
Thanking Kwon Min-jae for the clever idea as well, Yoon Jay followed the staff toward the auditorium. Kwon Min-jae tagged along, saying it sounded fun.
Naturally, they didn't sit in the seats—they stood in an empty corridor. They kept their heads down to avoid attention, but Yoon Jay's frame was simply too large and his face too striking to miss even from a distance, and people nearby began to murmur.
“Who is that?”
“With Kwon Min-jae... who is it?”
“Oh my god. That's Yoon Jay.”
“Yoon Jay?”
“Kyaaa!”
The fans who recognized the two of them shrieked—but soon Buster's intro poured out, and their cries were swallowed by the roar of the crowd.
“Oh... is that blond one over there your brother?”
“Yeah.”
“He's really good.”
“Isn't he?”
“Look at that expression. A total pushover, that's what you are.”
Called out, and I can't even argue. Yoon Jay gazed up at Yoon Do-jun on the stage, his face full of smiles. A broadcast camera caught the two of them.