The Last Violin

"I'm the one."

"Did it never weigh on you, hyung?"

"Weigh on me? What do you mean?"

Whenever they could spare the time, the four actors of Intermission met up regularly to unload whatever was weighing on their hearts.

"You've been in the spotlight since your debut, hyung."

"Mm... that's true."

"Was it hard when you went into your next project?"

They were talking about what came after Along Along, but Yoon Jay's mind drifted naturally to the days after The Child.

Back then, it had felt like every stranger who passed him on the street was staring. Like everyone whispering the word "genius" was really mocking him, saying he was nothing special after all.

A friend he'd trusted opened an anti-fan café and filled it with vicious, personal attacks against him. And the reporters — the people who called themselves journalists — painted his parents as child abusers, exploiting their young son as a money-making tool.

That wasn't a burden, exactly. It was a pressure too heavy for so simple a word.

"It did weigh on me."

"How did you get over it?"

"I haven't. Not yet."

"Huh? Really?"

But weren't you doing awfully well for someone who hasn't? To the unspoken question hanging over all three of them, Yoon Jay simply smiled.

"Before you start worrying about the pressure of your next work, you should first ask yourselves who you actually are."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you love acting? Is it fun?"

The three didn't answer right away. Strange, how even a throwaway question like that could rattle something deep in the chest.

"It's fun."

"If you had to put it into words?"

"What about you, hyung?"

Yoon Jay couldn't answer right away either.

Once upon a time, it had been fun. But now... that was no longer the first reason. For him, acting was the means by which he made himself live each day, one after another.

"...It used to be fun."

The way he said it made him look, somehow, desperate.

Meanwhile, Kang Ha-jun, Baek Do-kyung, and Nam Chan-hee — the three he'd met again at the Hwangryong Film Awards — skipped the pleasantries and brought up the very topic everyone around them was murmuring about.

"Did you see the article?"

"Yeah."

"You think it's actually true?"

During the filming of Intermission, Yoon Jay — their fellow actor and the impossibly cool older brother — had shown an unusually deep attachment to the role of Yoo Tae-hyuk itself.

Could it be... because Tae-hyuk's backstory looked so much like his own past?

The three exchanged meaningful glances.

"Let's keep our mouths shut until Jay hyung says something himself."

"Whoa, hyung. Did you see this?"

"See what?"

Moon Chang-min, having his hair done at the salon for the Hwangryong Film Awards ceremony, lifted his head at his manager's commotion.

"Huh?"

The article was far too detailed to be dismissed as a mistake. It laid out Yoon Jay's family tree, the connection between his biological father, Managing Director Yoon Su-heon, and Director Lee Young-chang, and even spotlighted Jo Youkyeong — the investor who'd taken an interest in him since his days as a bodyguard and quietly ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠backed him.

"Did you know, hyung? You two are close, aren't you?"

"No?"

"Really? I didn't get that vibe at all. Wow, cold."

"Don't exaggerate. Jay's my junior, not yours."

"Still, I thought he'd at least tell you. You've looked out for him so much."

Moon Chang-min's manager kept grumbling under his breath. He'd seen Yoon Jay up close through all those frequent meetings with Moon Chang-min, and he'd genuinely thought the man was solid — a really good person through and through.

And yet he'd been hiding something like this... Moreover, Moon Chang-min had named The Child as his favorite film of all time, over and over.

Wasn't that practically deceiving someone right to their face?

"Honestly, I've known for a while. That the kid was hiding something."

"Really?"

"Didn't know it was this, though."

Moon Chang-min let out a hollow laugh. No wonder the boy had felt so familiar from the very first time they'd met.

He'd wanted to look after him. Wanted to root for this junior's road ahead. Not just because the kid could act — there was simply something about him that drew people in.

No wonder he seemed like he was itching to confess something lately.

The boy was so polite and so good-hearted that he must have felt like he was deceiving me, of all people... Surprisingly, Moon Chang-min felt little sense of betrayal.

He trusted that Yoon Jay wouldn't deceive him maliciously, and as an older man with a few more decades on him, he had the grace to let it go.

What about Min-jae and Da-eun, though? They looked pretty close with him.

But what about the others? Moon Chang-min glanced at the actors already seated and gave a weary, amused smile.

"Well, well. Aren't we seeing each other way too often?"

"You're here!"

The cast of Permafrost grinned back at him. Their film had been the last of all the Hwangryong contenders to hit theaters.

Until just a few weeks ago they'd been crammed together on Permafrost promo schedules, and the after-parties that followed had already left a great many bottles drained between them.

"Da-eun, are you feeling off today? What's with the face?"

"...You know exactly why I'm making this face."

Everything about Baek Da-eun's expression and posture screamed I'm not okay.

"And you're fine with all this, senior?"

"Don't give him too hard a time."

"What ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠did I do?"

"He'll have had his reasons."

Baek Da-eun didn't answer that. Who doesn't know that? It was because of those reasons that I managed to crawl out of that garbage fire of an agency, you know?

"Honestly, I have no idea what I'd even say to him if I saw him right now..."

Baek Da-eun murmured under her breath. No one heard it.

And in the waiting room of the Hwangryong Film Awards venue.

"Oh my."

"What is it, noona?"

"Did you know about this?"

Moon Hye-rin, the MC who had hosted the Hwangryong Film Awards for years running, showed the screen to her partner for this year's ceremony, Kwon Min-jae.

"You're close with that Yoon Jay fellow, aren't you?"

"...Huh?"

"Guess not, then?"

Kwon Min-jae stared at the faces of Yoon Jae-hee and Yoon Jay on the screen, side by side.

Him? Yoon Jae-hee?

Yoon Jay entered last of all, so the actors were already seated. A great roar went up from the audience, and every actor turned to look toward the entrance.

"It's Yoon Jay."

"Is that article really true?"

"I think it's true?"

"Wow, I'm getting his autograph after this."

The ceremony was about to start, so no one could leave their seat to go ask. Letting the whispers wash over one ear and out the other, Yoon Jay looked toward the two films seated at the very center of the hall.

Intermission and Permafrost occupied the center seats — fitting, perhaps, for the year's biggest box-office draws.

"He's here!"

"Hyung!"

Because he'd starred as the lead of Intermission and in a supporting role in Permafrost, his own seat sat right between the two casts.

"Hyung, why are you staring like that? Is there something on our faces?"

"No, nothing. You been well?"

The Agitato actors and Director Shin Ji-won only observed him with knowing expressions. Curious as they were, their faces carried a clear message: we'll wait until you tell us yourself.

"...You came?"

"Yeah."

The Permafrost cast, on the other hand, had a subtler air about them. Moon Chang-min, whose reaction Yoon Jay had been most curious about, broke into a wide grin and waved ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the moment their eyes met.

Choo Young-mi, who had played his mother in The Child, wore a strange, unreadable look, and Im Ji-hwan counted himself lucky he'd already apologized for his past rudeness.

There were still plenty of people in the industry who treated The Child, Lee Young-chang, and Yoon Jae-hee as sacred ground, after all.

If that kid is really Yoon Jae-hee...

Heo Sung-ik, meanwhile, sat with a sour face as all his old behavior toward Yoon Jay came back to him.

Younger than him, better-looking, backed by deep-pocketed investors — and now the title of "senior" didn't even work on the man anymore. Heo Sung-ik had debuted in 2004; Yoon Jae-hee had debuted in 2001.

Heo Sung-ik averted his eyes from Yoon Jay's gaze. Not that Yoon Jay had been looking at him — he'd been looking at Baek Da-eun.

"What are you looking at?"

"You look pretty today."

Baek Da-eun made a face of pure disbelief. Flirting? No. Just a perfectly sincere compliment.

The two of them had grown close enough to trade this kind of joke. Which was exactly why it stung.

"You can try to smooth things over like that all you want — it's not gonna work on me."

"You're watching it with Min-jae later, right?"

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

Yoon Jay turned his head with a bittersweet look, and Baek Da-eun found herself staring at his broad back.

You? You're really Yoon Jae-hee?

The tender-faced boy from her first love, of all people — was him? Baek Da-eun's eyes trembled without mercy.

"Good evening. I'm Moon Hye-rin, hosting the Hwangryong Film Awards once again this year."

"And I'm Kwon Min-jae."

With all those complicated hearts carried into their seats, the Hwangryong Film Awards began.

The music director of Intermission took home the award for Best Music, and for the Popularity Award, all four actors won together under the name Agitato.

"The Best New Actor award goes to... Kang Ha-jun of Intermission. Congratulations."

Kang Ha-jun, who had painfully missed out on the New Actor award at the Baeksan Arts Awards, finally held the trophy in his hands.

The moment his name was called, tears burst out of him, and he climbed the stage bolstered by the cheers of his fellow cast members.

"We'll be stepping out shortly to prepare for the next segment."

"Yes."

The closing performance of part one was an idol act; part two opened with Agitato. For the stage, the four actors wore the styling of the film's Agitato exactly as it appeared on screen.

Before long, the next awards were handed out. Permafrost took Best Editing and a technical award, and Director Lee Han-lim won Best Director.

"At this rate, isn't Intermission going to take Best Picture?"

"Looks likely, doesn't it?"

Soon enough, the ceremony was drawing to a close.

"Now, let's meet the nominees for Best Actor."

The presenter was Choo Young-mi, winner of the previous year's Best Actress.

She opened the envelope, checked the winner — and broke into a wide smile.

"The Hwangryong Film Award for Best Actor goes to... Yoon Jay of Intermission. Congratulations."

Thunderous applause and cheers rolled out from the audience.

The announcer's narration played as Yoon Jay made his way to the stage.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

He embraced Choo Young-mi and accepted the trophy while the host, Moon Hye-rin, read a brief introduction.

"Actor Yoon Jay is sweeping the nation with Intermission and Permafrost even as we speak. Let's hear his acceptance speech."

Standing before the standing microphone, Yoon Jay cleared his throat with a heavy swallow. Today's speech was going to be a little different.

"Hello, I'm actor Yoon Jay. First of all..."

Family first, of course.

His biological parents watching from somewhere beyond the sky, his parents and two younger brothers cheering all the way from America, the mother here in Korea who never spared him her advice and support — and his twins, of course. None were left out.

"My thanks to Director Shin Ji-won, whom I was fortunate to work with on such a wonderful film, and to the entire film crew. And to the members of the band who so generously donated their talent for Intermission..."

His voice was simply beautiful, magnetic — it had the power to pull every eye in the hall toward him.

He could have named every last crew member who'd labored for the film, but instead he said he would thank them separately, in person.

"In particular, I want to dedicate the honor of this award to the three actors with whom this film bound me as colleagues, friends, and little brothers — Kang Ha-jun, Baek Do-kyung, and Nam Chan-hee."

The screen showed the three sitting side by side. Kang Ha-jun and Baek Do-kyung looked utterly moved, and Nam Chan-hee's eyes had gone glassy with tears.

Seeing that, the tension drained out of Yoon Jay, and he ran his tongue over his dry lips.

"And to my agency family, who worked so hard for a man full of secrets — our CEO, our director, and my manager Jin-woo, thank you."

Everyone could tell the words were aimed at the staff who'd suffered through his extraordinary past, and at the noise that had leaked out during the nomination process.

It was also, unmistakably, a hint — that there were still more things left unsaid.

"Mm... Intermission was a film of profound personal meaning for me as well. Like Tae-hyuk in the story, I too was someone who'd never managed to shake off the tangled feelings of my past."

The camera panned across Baek Da-eun, Kwon Min-jae, and several other actors — all of them people whose careers had been carried forward on the strength of the Yoon Jae-hee Special Act.

It also lit upon a few who had publicly credited The Child as their inspiration.

"And as those of you who've seen the film will know, Tae-hyuk parted with the violin that symbolized his past and used ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it as a stepping-stone toward his future."

Yoon Jay paused for a beat, then opened his mouth again.

For Yoon Jay, the violin had been the name Yoon Jae-hee.

When he'd resolved to redebut as Yoon Jay, he had wanted people's recognition. There had even been times when a restless, defiant thought seized him — to stand up and flaunt it, declaring to the world: I was Yoon Jae-hee.

Lee Young-chang's encouragement had struck him deeply.

What mattered wasn't how others looked at him. It was the state of his own heart. Just like Yoo Tae-hyuk, who sold off his violin and bought a car.

Am I ready now — ready to let my past be known?

"And so, I believe I'm finally ready to reveal the violin of my own."

It would be all right. He no longer wanted to deceive anyone.

Yoon Jay let his gaze rest on Moon Chang-min, Baek Da-eun, and the others seated in the actors' section, then — almost without thinking — turned his head to glance at Kwon Min-jae standing at the MC podium. Then he faced forward again.

"Taking this opportunity, I'd like to answer the speculation surrounding my past..."

The hand gripping the trophy trembled, ever so slightly, and the broadcast cameras caught it.

"I am Yoon Jae-hee."