Chapter 81: Causing a Stir (3)
Chapter 81: Causing a Stir (3)
Crack!
A Kobold’s skull shattered.
The weapon held by Paladin Sonata—the Ohamma-Sledge Hammer—crushed the Kobold’s head instantly, slamming it into the floor.
“Lewd Man. Is there… something you don’t like?”
[It’s weak.]
“Pardon?”
[This weapon is far too flimsy to contain my power.]
I inspected the state of the sledgehammer.
The iron head of the hammer was shorter than my forearm, and the handle was less than a meter long.
[Even if the lower floors of the Infinite Labyrinth are narrow, with this much output, I could easily swing a much heavier weapon.]
Paladin Sonata’s output was beyond imagination.
Usually, heavier weapons consume mana faster, and wide weapons like two-handed greatswords are difficult to use in the narrow corridors of the lower floors, which is why she opted for something shorter.
But it was boring.
I couldn't hide my disappointment at a weight so trivial it couldn't even keep up with my strength.
To give you an idea of how disappointed I was: do you see those "cows" over there, those Half-Minotaurs with swinging breasts large enough to crush a Kobold’s skull?
I was so angry I felt a sense of disillusionment and self-loathing for not grabbing those tits and engaging in some milking sex.
‘I didn’t know!’
Just because they were Half-Minotaurs, I didn't think they’d actually produce breast milk!
Doesn't milk normally come from women who are pregnant?
‘My condolences to common sense.’
Goodbye, my common sense as an Earthling.
Apparently, in this fantasy world, you can extract breast milk even without being pregnant.
‘It’s too late to call them over for milking sex now.’
I’d just have to look forward to it after we finished clearing the Infinite Labyrinth.
Swallowing my tears, I brought the sledgehammer down on the spine of a Kobold crawling on the floor.
Crunch.
In an instant, the Kobolds that had been trying to ambush us were turned into corpses.
The crotch areas, barely covered by rags, were hideously and rock-hard erect; I flipped their bodies over with my foot to prevent any further visual assault.
‘Always in heat, these things.’
Goblins are bad enough, but the Infinite Labyrinth is filled with far too many lewd monsters. We were only on the 6th floor, and yet these Kobolds were trying to jump us while fully aroused.
[That was handled easily. Even without Serica stepping in.]
“We’ve cleared the 5th-floor boss. With two more people added to our strength, we should be able to overcome this much with ease.”
[True. Actually, the reason the raid stopped last time was because a Berserk Entity appeared.]
I rolled my shoulders lightly and struck the sledgehammer down once more where the Kobolds' hearts would be.
[Shiro. Kuro. Harvest them.]
“Yes….”
The two porters slammed their pickaxes into the Kobold corpses.
Thwack.
The pickaxes pierced the Kobold hide and scraped out the magic stones.
Pickaxes aren't just for mining magic stones embedded in walls. They can be used as weapons, or for farming magic stones from the bodies of beasts like this.
Considering durability, using them for both combat and farming would wear them out quickly, but…
‘I made sure to pack spare farming tools.’
Rattle.
I grabbed the wheeled cart again.
It was filled with pickaxes, rations, and all sorts of dungeon exploration gear in case of emergencies.
I was the one who brought Shiro and Kuro as porters, but I was also the one pulling the cart.
If the others pulled it, their stamina would decrease, but for me, it only consumed mana. Therefore, it was more efficient for me to pull the cart.
“Lewd Man. Are you alright?”
[No problem. I can recover some of the consumed mana on the spot like this.]
I squeezed a magic stone I had just acquired in my hand, and it crumbled under my grip.
Sshhh.
The light of the magic stone faded like smoke and seeped into my armor.
It wasn't 100%, but about 40% of the mana was absorbed into the magic stones inside my armor. The efficiency was terrible, but it was much better than having no means of mana recovery at all.
[Captain. How about taking a rest a bit further away?]
“We’re almost at the 7th floor. How about we go down a bit further before resting? Miss Serica?”
Opinions were divided.
Even if I was their master back in the territory, I had instructed them to think of me as just another comrade when I was in the Lewd Man persona.
[I think it’s better to proceed while steadily maintaining our condition rather than pushing deeper. It’s already been two hours since we entered and started fighting.]
“According to the map, the boss room should appear if we go just 30 minutes more. Since it’s only the 6th floor, we won't even need to fight the boss. Let’s go a bit further and rest in the boss room.”
[Captain. What if we run into the boss without resting?]
“Then we’ll just deal with the boss and then rest.”
Laura gave me a questioning look.
“Lewd Man. Do you want to rest?”
“Hmm. What, did you hit a mana overload or something?”
[No. That wouldn't happen.]
The "me" on the surface was currently busy manipulating the controls while sucking on some gaming tits.
[I said it out of consideration for all of you, but it seems the Captain lacks a bit of thoughtfulness.]
“That’s… ah.”
Laura blushed and covered her mouth with her hand.
“Re-rest. We’ll take a short break. Everyone, please don’t wander too far.”
[Hmph.]
Understanding my point, Laura immediately took out some firewood.
She lit a campfire and laid out mats on the floor to create a temporary sitting area, and we all gathered in one spot around the fire.
Correction.
Yurdias and Serica paired up and disappeared somewhere, and Shiro and Kuro paired up and disappeared elsewhere as well.
[Laura.]
“Yes, Lewd Man.”
[If you need to take care of business, go ahead.]
“…….”
Laura’s eyebrows quivered.
It was that feeling of having heard something she didn't like. That chilling sensation.
It was just like…
—Oppa, do you seriously not even know what you did wrong right now?
That god-awful feeling…!
To break this mood…
[Or should I go with you?]
“Wha—wh-what are you saying…!”
[I won’t look, but I can at least hold your hand nearby.]
“Sigh….”
Laura covered her face with her hands.
[It was a joke. If you wanted to go, you would have said so already.]
“That kind of joke is… sigh, never mind.”
Laura scanned me from head to toe and then gave a sly smile.
“Heh…. Oh, do you happen to have a fetish like that?”
[A fetish?]
“Like, do you enjoy forcing women to wet themselves? You were like that with Miss Serica too, weren't you?”
[I have no such fetish.]
I could say that with certainty.
[Making someone squirt during sex is a natural occurrence when facing my cock. I’m not some pervert who spies on women in the bathroom. I’m a man with much more normal tastes than you think.]
“Really? Then… could you tell me just one thing you think is a ‘really dangerous taste’?”
[It’s not exactly a fetish, more like a romance.]
A romance every man dreams of.
[On the wedding day, I want to throw her onto the bed while she’s still in her wedding dress, flip up just the skirt, and have pregnancy sex until the sun comes up.]
“Wow….”
Laura’s mouth hung open in shock.
“Th-that’s certainly normal… wait, can that be called normal? Then isn't that a dress fetish?”
[Rather than a dress fetish, you could say I have a bit of a thing for that right now.]
A clothed sex fetish.
Since I started with the bunny girl outfit, I’d developed a taste for dressing them up in various things before pounding them.
Besides, even if the clothes got dirty, I could just wash them with Clean magic, couldn't I?
Naked is good in its own way, but clothed sex has its own unique appeal.
“That’s a relief. I was worried you might have that kind of taste, Lewd Man.”
[That kind? What is it?]
“…….”
Laura turned her head away as if she’d made a slip of the tongue, but I walked up to her, put my arm around her shoulder, and met her eyes.
[What is it?]
“I-I can’t say. The others might be watching right now.”
[The only people watching are from Fermaton anyway. If you don’t tell me what you were thinking, I won’t take good care of you when we get back.]
“Th-the thing is.”
Laura glanced at me for a moment and fidgeted with her fingers.
“…You know the creator of the Infinite Labyrinth, who might be at the very bottom?”
[Mm.]
I was a bit uneasy since others were listening, but Laura must have had a reason for saying it.
“Do you think… that person is a scat lover?”
[What? Wait a minute. Are you asking if I have a scat fetish?]
“I-it was a misunderstanding!”
For a moment, I felt dizzy.
[Captain, do you think I’m crazy enough to have a taste like that? I am perfectly normal. I just enjoy sex deeply within the bounds of normalcy.]
“Th-thank goodness.”
[No matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, it’s not good to compare me to someone like that.]
“…But I wasn't?”
Laura replied with a serious face.
“In this world, there might be men who enjoy gay, ryona, scat, gore, or even bestiality… and even insectophilia.”
[…….]
Shit.
“If such a being exists, what would you do, Lewd Man?”
[He… he’s a man with a very wide strike zone. Right. But you’re… talking about the Infinite Labyrinth, right? Haha, yeah. You’re speaking metaphorically.]
“…….”
Laura only gave a calm, bitter smile.
[Captain. Let me be clear, none of what you mentioned is my taste. None of it.]
However.
[I have a question.]
“What is it?”
[…Is having sex with a Half-Minotaur considered bestiality?]
“……By that logic, was having bunny girl sex with me considered having sex with a rabbit?”
Fortunately, she said it wasn't.
“Oh. One more thing.”
[What?]
“That guy is a furry.”
[…….]
It seemed I would have to face humanity’s worst enemy.
Together with Laura.