Chapter 243: I Will Present a New Paradigm of Warfare (3)
Chapter 243: I Will Present a New Paradigm of Warfare (3)
"This is madness. An erection that won't go down? What on earth are you talking about?"
Irsenti Sirjosia was flabbergasted by his adjutants' report.
"What’s wrong with their erections?"
"Viscount, this is a grave matter."
Even the knight delivering the report was hesitating, his body hunched over.
It wasn't just that his crotch was bulging; if he were to stand up straight, it looked as if a rigid greatspear was about to burst through his trousers.
"The knights can no longer wear their codpieces. In fact, whether they wear protection or not isn't even the issue anymore. If this continues, their genitals will necrose, and we'll have to amputate everything."
"No, surely it can't be that painful..."
Irsenti caught his breath the moment the words left his mouth.
"Viscount. I didn't want to have to say this, but..."
The knight pointed downward with a face full of pity and frustration.
"You might be fine, Viscount, but the rest of us are on the verge of death."
"You're dying from that? Why?"
"We're dying in more ways than one! If they necrose and need to be cut off, we need to take follow-up measures, but even that's impossible right now!"
The knight pounded his chest in frustration.
"It might not hurt when you get an erection, Viscount, but for us, the blood just keeps rushing there! We're at our breaking point!"
Finally, the knight exploded.
"This is a serious crisis! It might just look like a 'male problem' on the surface, but it's critical! If we don't solve this immediately, the soldiers won't be able to fight!"
"You're saying we have to retreat because your erections won't subside...?"
"It's more than just a retreat! If we don't take action now, we're all going to die here! The enemy has used poison...! Please!!"
Behind the knight, soldiers began to appear one by one, walking with awkward, wide-legged strides.
Every face was grim, and some were even casting glares of pure rage at the Viscount.
"Th-then what am I supposed to do? If... if you have an erection, can't you just blow a load and be done with it?"
"If it were that simple, I would have run to the river and jerked off myself! Masturbation doesn't solve it, and if we try now, our dicks will literally burst and kill us!"
"Hah... What about Divine Power or Magic?"
"I told you, it doesn't work!!"
The knight was driven to the brink of insanity. At the same time, the soldiers looked like they were about to lose their minds.
"You're a man too, Viscount! If your cock bursts, you're dead as a man!!"
"So what do you want me to do! Divine Power doesn't work, Mana doesn't work! If the only solution is sex, are you asking me to mobilize women so you can all get laid?!"
"That's...!"
The eyes of the knight and the soldiers shifted elsewhere.
"Wh-where are you looking?!"
Several female knights among the ranks huddled together back-to-back, growling as if they were ready to draw their swords at any moment.
"Just because sex might be the cure, are you telling us to become cum dumps for five thousand men?! We are knights of the Kingdom!"
"Besides, we don't even know if sex will solve it! Th-there must be another way! Everyone, stay calm and think—"
"I'm telling you, our dicks are about to explode!!"
"And so you want us to offer up our bodies?!"
The male and female knights began shouting at each other.
Normally, the male knights would have spoken with courtesy, saying things like "Oh, my lady," but right now, they were no different from the common soldiers.
Any man whose genitals are on the verge of exploding is bound to have his reason paralyzed.
"How am I supposed to fix—"
[Ah, ah. Can you hear me? Soldiers of the House of Sirjosia.]
From far away.
Something like a mist spread across the sky, and a figure revealed itself.
[I am Ruji Fermaton. I am the Lord of the House of Fermaton, whose lands you have invaded.]
A massive illusion of a blond youth appeared in the sky.
"That's..."
"Illusion magic?"
Though only his upper body was visible, the illusion was large enough to cover the heavens, instantly drawing the gaze of the Sirjosia soldiers.
[I am the one who put your cocks in that state. And this is the elixir that can release the Infinite Erection State.]
Ruji Fermaton pulled out a small potion filled with a white liquid.
[To those who surrender, I shall give this medicine and accept you as citizens of my Fermaton territory. Khuhu.]
* * *
After finishing the speech.
"Thank you, Director Evelyn."
"It was nothing."
The Architect Mage, Evelyn, gave me a slight bow.
The illusion magic just now was thanks to Evelyn's help.
While no one from the Magic Tower had officially come out, Evelyn had come to support me under the title of 'Fermaton Architect Mage.'
'Reliable as always.'
Even if she couldn't appear as the Magic Tower Master Barbas, it made me truly happy that she came to support me like this.
"Ah, Yoanna. What's the situation on the ground?"
[The enemy is still in turmoil. It seems they've never encountered this kind of tactic before, so they are psychologically shaken.]
"Of course they are."
If you look at it a bit differently, we've essentially deployed a poison.
Traditional methods can't detoxify it, and the antidote is only available in Fermaton.
"Will they surrender to survive? Or will they follow Sirjosia until their dicks burst? Heh, it's a real head-scratcher for them."
[Surrendering just because of a 'dick'? Well, everyone has different priorities.]
"True."
Genitals are just genitals.
A man doesn't stop living just because he doesn't have them.
However, he might lose most of the meaning of living as a man.
Furthermore, what if his cock was lost while participating in a war to avenge the Viscount's younger brother?
Even when people throw their bodies into battle to protect their country and lose a limb, their loyalty to the state wavers. If it's specifically their cock, and specifically for a revenge match for the Viscount's brother, the sense of self-loathing would be overwhelming.
"People will start surrendering soon. There's a strong resistance to surrendering over penile necrosis, but once a little more time passes..."
[They're coming. Several knights are rushing toward us. Likely to negotiate... Huh?]
"What is it?"
[It's not a negotiation... they're surrendering outright. Oh my.]
Yoanna was genuinely taken aback.
[It's the female knights. The female knights... have surrendered first.]
"......?"
Why?
* * *
The battlefield.
Beside Yoanna, a knight in steel armor who had come to support in a 'private capacity' leveled a halberd at the female knights rushing toward them.
"Halt."
"Ah, that voice...?"
"Guild Leader Bernhard of the Adventurer's Guild...?"
"No. I am no such person."
The elderly knight cleared his throat and adjusted his voice.
"I am merely a knight of Fermaton right now. Why have the knights of House Sirjosia come running with a white flag?"
"W-we surrender!"
"Surrender?"
"Yes...! If you can promise us just one thing! If you promise not to violate us by force and to treat us with the respect due to knights!!"
The female knights looked utterly desperate.
"Violate you by force? What are you talking about?"
"And you are...?"
"I am Yoanna, the Knight Captain of the Fermaton Knight Order."
Yoanna, clad in silver armor and holding a pennant spear, faced the female knights while holding a transparent orb in her hand.
"We welcome your surrender. Naturally, we accept those terms. But why are you surrendering so suddenly...?"
"Those men... they were going to rape us."
"......I see."
"Not all of them, but those near us were..."
[Very well.]
A familiar voice flowed from the crystal orb.
[I accept your surrender. You shall be treated with the full honors of knighthood, and the thing you fear shall never come to pass.]
"The Count...!"
[In exchange—though it's hardly a fair trade—as those who have surrendered, you must accept minimal restraints.]
"If it's only that..."
The female knights obediently held out their hands, and Yoanna signaled her soldiers to bring ropes, making a show of tying their wrists loosely.
"Thank you for your mercy."
The female knights were led into the military camp by the soldiers.
"Count."
After the female knights had left.
[Any chance of betrayal?]
"Low. Their surrender was not a ruse. I have placed them under simple, temporary restraint."
[Good. If that is your judgment, then it must be correct.]
Rumble, rumble.
The battlefield began to shake violently.
At the sound of thousands of men charging, Yoanna leveled the crystal orb forward again.
"They're coming. It seems they aren't surrendering to get the antidote; they're planning to take it by force."
[They've made the worst possible decision. Shall we wipe them all out?]
"Yes, Count. Give the order."
As Yoanna raised her pennant spear high, the knights and soldiers of Fermaton lined up beside her.
"Finally..."
Serica gripped the hilt of her sword, licking her lips repeatedly.
"...Fermaton's Golden Spear. Hehehe..."
Lambert also stroked his spear shaft, biting his lower lip.
"Ah, this is Yoanna. From this moment, we will neutralize the enemy as much as possible, then sweep away the weakened forces. Soldiers, commence Mana Milk consumption before battle."
"""Commencing!!"""
The male soldiers all popped white, jelly-like substances into their mouths.
"First Archer Unit, forward."
Flutter.
As the flag pointed forward, the soldiers armed with bows stepped out.
"We shall accelerate the necrosis of the enemy's genitals. Prepare to fire. Load, and begin."
"Loading complete!!"
The tips of the archers' arrows were fitted with glass vials instead of sharp arrowheads.
Inside those vials sloshed a clear liquid.
"Toward the front."
Yoanna suppressed the urge to burst out laughing.
"Commence the dispersal of Penisilin."
SPLAAAAASH!!
A massive amount of Penisilin rained down upon the battlefield along with the shower of arrows.