Chapter 206: The Mermaid Princess and the Perverted Prince (14)
Chapter 206: The Mermaid Princess and the Perverted Prince (14)
Shocking.
Ruji Fermaton didn't actually want to get married!
That was the message I told them to spread.
If people asked what Ruji actually wanted, the answer was simply: "He just wants to have creampie sex with a woman wearing a wedding dress."
"Sometimes it’s depressing how much sense that actually makes."
Ah.
Ruji Fermaton.
As a being whose every action boils down to sex, acting like a sex-obsessed broken record actually carries a strange weight of persuasion with the public.
Most people reacted with a simple, "Of course, that sounds like him."
The foolish decision to walk into the grave of marriage is usually driven by nonsensical reasons anyway. Most people get married because they’re blinded by infatuation.
Since this would be my first marriage and my first experience, men who were already married were negative about the idea of me tying the knot, yet they understood me at the same time.
—A wedding dress is a hard one to pass up.
Surprisingly, noble wedding dresses weren't much different from modern ones. While commoners just wore a special dress for the ceremony, nobles wore the distinct style I was familiar with.
Since everyone knew the appeal of having sex with a woman in a white dress, the news that I didn't want a wedding but rather wedding dress pregnancy sex was accepted as a perfectly valid excuse.
Thanks to that, the commotion surrounding my marriage fizzled out.
However, even if the marriage was off the table...
The succession of the "Earldom," which had been a prerequisite for the marriage, had to be carried out properly.
—So, what are you going to do about the title?
—I want to take it over officially. So that I can get married whenever I want.
—Then we’ll really have to contact the Kingdom. Someone will come from the capital.
—That’s fine. I’ll treat them according to their rank.
And so, I went through several stages of preparation.
—I’ll give the Kingdom what they want. If I can ascend to the position of Count and smooth over their pointless nitpicking, I’m willing to pay the price.
I left all the paperwork to Zenith and gave serious thought to how I should negotiate with the Kingdom to secure the title.
To my surprise, the Kingdom was quite positive about my succession.
Perhaps it was because they felt the need for a successor to Fermaton to emerge quickly.
Or maybe, through their spying on Fermaton, they had realized we weren't a threat—specifically, that we had no intention of picking a fight with the Kingdom.
The Kingdom showed a positive, even firm, will regarding my succession.
Normally, a noble title was inherited within the family, but due to the unique nature of Fermaton, I required an official appointment from the Kingdom.
And today.
"Ruji Fermaton. I hereby appoint you as the Count of Fermaton."
By the hand of the Minister sent from the Kingdom, I officially became the Count of Fermaton.
"From this day forward, you shall be known far and wide as the Border Count of Fermaton."
The middle-aged man with a typical bushy beard looked more blunt and stiff than benevolent.
"As always, it is our hope that the Infinite Labyrinth of Fermaton remains the light and salt of this Kingdom, and indeed, the world. That is all."
"...Is that it?"
"The formal procedures end here."
The Minister, who had traveled all the way to the county, waved his hand as if he couldn't be bothered with tedious formalities.
"I have no desire to exchange useless pleasantries. I came here on orders, and this is a place I don't particularly like."
"That’s a rather unpleasant thing to say to someone who has to live in Fermaton for the rest of his life."
"My father and brother died in the Infinite Labyrinth. They were adventurers."
"...Please accept my deepest condolences, Minister."
I didn't expect to put my foot in my mouth like that.
While I wasn't personally responsible for their deaths in the Infinite Labyrinth, failing to apologize in this situation would mean losing the upper hand in the ensuing conversation.
"I shall grant you a task—or rather, a duty—to commemorate your appointment as Count."
"A duty?"
"Yes. Something you must handle, or rather, something you must do as a Count loyal to the Kingdom."
"......."
A noble's obligation.
He wasn't just talking about noblesse oblige in a general sense; he was talking about my duty as a "Noble of the Kingdom."
"Is this about taxes? If it’s taxes, I believe we are already paying more than enough."
"It is not a matter of taxes. The Royal Family desires a periodic supply of a certain item."
The Minister lowered his voice.
So far, this was as expected.
The Kingdom would demand many things from Fermaton, just as they always had. Whether it was magic stones or materials harvested from the monsters in the Infinite Labyrinth, they would try to squeeze whatever they could out of us.
I would give what I could give.
But I would take a hard line on things I couldn't. For instance, my people.
"Penisilin."
All my predicted scenarios were shattered.
In fact, even our worst-case scenarios were rendered moot.
—Surely they wouldn't ask for things like Breast-Shaped Magic Stones or Penisilin, right?
—If they did, it would be a steal.
Penisilin wasn't the worst thing we imagined; it was the "they couldn't possibly be looking for this" item.
"...Why Penisilin all of a sudden?"
"I would like you to supply it to the Royal Family on a regular basis. I’d prefer the recipe, but since that’s likely impossible, you must at least provide a significant quantity of Penisilin regularly."
"Will you be providing the specific amount in writing?"
"...I think it would be faster to just tell you."
The Minister pointed at me, looking as if even speaking of it was a chore.
"We need enough Penisilin to keep three men fully erect for an entire night with a single woman."
"...That is a strangely specific requirement."
"Because that is how it will be used."
The Minister gave a bitter smile and shook his head.
"Well? I believe I’ve been quite forthcoming."
"I don't like beating around the bush. Since I’ve just become a Count, I’ll ask one question."
"Go ahead."
The intended use for the Penisilin.
Given the effects of Penisilin and the Kingdom's reputation, it was obvious where it was going.
"You're telling me to supply the Penisilin that Queen Messalina will use on the men who are going to gang rape her. That’s what you're saying, right?"
"I tried to be discreet."
"There’s no reason to be discreet."
Everyone already knew what kind of person Queen Messalina was.
Just as everyone in Fermaton knew Ruji Fermaton was the kind of man who talked about marriage just because he wanted clothed wedding dress creampie sex.
Queen Messalina's slutty nature and her actual exploits had spread to every corner of the land through gossip.
Taken at face value, they sounded like malicious rumors.
—There’s no way the Queen is an orgy addict!
—Actually, she is. I just had sex with her.
—What? How?
—I was drafted when she wanted to be gang-raped by kingdom beggars. Her pussy was incredible.
But since it was reality rather than rumor, Queen Messalina's infamy as a harlot was known throughout the Kingdom.
The only reason people didn't openly call her a whore was because insulting her constituted lèse-majesté.
The Queen was a slut.
And it was only natural for such a Queen to seek out Penisilin.
I just didn't expect that Penisilin would be the very thing they demanded when they were in a position to exert leverage over the Fermaton Earldom.
"If the Queen needs Penisilin, I will gladly provide it. I will divide it into appropriate doses."
"Divide it?"
"I mean the men should take the recommended daily intake. I can't have Penisilin being used for something like an assassination attempt on His Majesty the King."
"Hah."
The Minister gave a short snort.
"Do you really think Queen Messalina would ask for a massive amount of Penisilin without a plan? She has a strategy, and she has a way to keep things under control."
"Ho. And what method would that be?"
"You're the one who has it."
The Minister pointed at me again.
"That Bitch Collar you have. She would like one of those as well."
I see.
So this was the main point.
"How did you know about that?"
"The Kingdom is more interested in you than you might think."
"I suppose so."
Considering there were likely dozens of spies planted within my territory, it wasn't strange for the Kingdom to know about the Bitch Collar.
"...The Bitch Collar is not an item intended for external distribution."
"Which is why I am bringing it up like this. Normally, receiving official authorization for an Earldom requires a massive amount of wealth. The Queen has decided that a single Bitch Collar is payment enough."
"Why would the Queen want a Bitch Col—no, never mind. That makes sense. I understand."
The Queen was a slut.
If there was an item that could forcibly heighten her sensitivity and provide an effect similar to an aphrodisiac, she would naturally want to use it.
"However, the Bitch Collar is an item that forces the wearer to obey someone's commands. Currently, all the criminals wearing them obey only my commands."
"Only the women?"
"Only the women."
Even if I were to die, I would never make a collar that turned a man into a bitch. If I had to name such a thing, I’d have to call it a "Feminization Collar."
"Understood. Nero!"
I called for Nero, who was standing by.
"Bring a Bitch Collar. After I remove a few of the spells, we’ll prepare it as a gift for the Queen."
".......Yes."
Was it my imagination?
For a moment, it seemed like Nero gave a faint smile, while the Minister's expression became noticeably more relaxed.
"Is something the matter?"
"No. Phew."
The Minister leisurely picked up his wine glass.
"I’m just glad my job is done. Congratulations, Count."
"...Thank you."
Now.
I was officially a Count.