Chapter 122: The World's Greatest Breast Container Contest (2)
Chapter 122: The World's Greatest Breast Container Contest (2)
"If they have no bread, let them eat cake."
This is a famous line attributed to Marie Antoinette, the Queen of France and wife of King Louis XVI, during the French Revolution.
It is often cited as a prime example of how the wealthy royalty and nobility indulged in luxury and pleasure, completely out of touch with the poor who were so desperate they had to boil weeds for soup.
This sentiment is considered the most representative perception of the aristocracy held by the people during the French Revolution.
—Wait, didn't she never actually say that?
—Really? Then why is that quote so famous?
—How should I know? It's not in the records.
According to the current consensus among historians, the authenticity of this quote is extremely low. It’s said to be propaganda spread during the Revolution to tarnish the reputation of the royal family and dismantle their regime.
—No matter what records you search, you won't find any evidence of Marie Antoinette saying those words.
—Maybe the records just haven't been found yet! You can't rule out the possibility that she actually said it!
—Oh yeah? Then did Admiral Yi Sun-sin fire a Spirit Cannon at the Battle of Myeongnyang?
—...Touché.
Whether she actually said it or even thought it, no one knows for sure. However, it’s safe to say the quote perfectly captures the image the masses had of the royal family at the time.
And.
—So, what are the actual facts about Marie Antoinette?
—TBTH?
—What’s that, you weeb?
—Tits Bigger Than her Head...?
According to the "erotic" side of academia... No, according to apocryphal history... No, according to actual "records" and "history."
—Holy shit, her tits are huge!
—Hee-eung. The Queen's breasts are amazing!
Apparently, they really were huge.
I don't know whose official record it is, but unlike the "cake" comment, documentation regarding her breast size and beauty actually exists.
How can a woman's chest be 109 cm?
She wasn't a man; she was a woman, and a relatively petite one at that, living in medieval Europe. Even fictional characters rarely reach that size. If historical records claim they were that big, just how massive were they?
They would easily rival Zenith’s—no, they might even be larger.
And I happen to know a certain piece of trivia about her.
"They say the Queen made a cup from her breast, and it was the size of a bowl. Oppa, what do you think?"
"Come on, how can a woman's breast be the size of a bowl?"
"You know the champagne you're drinking right now? Do you know where the shape of that wide 'coupe' glass came from? It was modeled after the Queen's breast."
"Is that so? Well, if you say so. If there's no milk, suck on a teat. To the Queen, cheers."
I just happened to learn this through conversation. I wasn't particularly interested in that sort of thing, but there were a few moments in my life that were bound to be memorable.
"Oppa, this is breast pudding. How is it?"
"The shape looks familiar... They sell this on the internet? This isn't even Japan, how did this get made?"
"I made it. It's my breast. I made a plaster cast and then a silicone mold, teehee."
...In many ways, my life was full of spectacular experiences that others wouldn't easily encounter.
Breast pudding.
The texture of the actual breast was better than the pudding, but I even saw someone go as far as using hardened strawberry chocolate for the nipples to add detail.
A shocking experience I wouldn't encounter twice in a lifetime.
That experience was about to become the new "bread and butter" that would open up my future. I would use that experience to move toward a new tomorrow. A new world where no one could touch Ruji Fermaton.
"So, you're saying you want to hold a World's Greatest Breast Cup Contest?"
"Yes, Mother."
Zenith closed her eyes the moment she heard my proposal.
"By 'breast cup,' do you mean... milk containers for cows?"
"You seem to be misunderstanding because I'm being so blunt, but the 'breasts' I'm talking about are women's chests. Tits. Boobs. Jugs. Milk storage units."
"Stop. You don't need to be that descriptive."
Zenith waved her hand and shook her head. It seemed she had been thinking of dairy cows, but unfortunately, the "milk" I was talking about wasn't from cows—it was human breast milk.
"I've lived a long life, but this is the most breast-brained bullshit I've ever heard."
"Isn't it fine? Even if it's breast-brained, as long as it makes money."
"It is not fine at all. Why do you only think about things in a sexual way?"
"Because it makes money."
Is there any other reason? I'm doing it because it's financially profitable. And not just a little bit—it looks like it'll bring in an astronomical amount of income.
"First, let me ask: why breasts?"
"Considering the numerous businesses already established in Fermaton, I believe we need to occupy a niche that differentiates us from the existing market."
"So you're going to take this breast-brained idea and expand into the 'breast-baring' business?"
"Yes. It's for the eternal glory and development of the Fermaton territory. And it's not a 'breast-baring' business; it's a 'breast cup' business. Look at this."
I pulled out a wine glass.
"This glass—how much wine can it really hold? You have to drink from a wide vessel for it to truly feel like alcohol."
"Who drinks wine like it's beer?"
"There are times when such a drink is needed. And it doesn't have to be wine; we can put something else in it. What I want to talk about is this 'glass'."
Most current wine glasses are narrow.
"I propose changing this glass into a new form."
"Into a breast?"
"Yes. In the shape of an actual breast."
Zenith looked me up and down with a horrified expression, but I believed this was a goldmine.
This is the privilege of a reincarnated person.
Behold, the bombardment of modern knowledge.
"We apply plaster to a woman's breast to make a mold, pour iron or something similar into that mold to create a breast model, and then pour glass over it to create a cup. That becomes the new wine glass."
I might not know how to make smartphones, firearms, or Damascus steel, but I know how to replicate modern items in this era one way or another.
"Thinking primitively, you just spread plaster on the breast and let it harden for a long time. Just attach a handle to the plaster cast, and you're done."
"That would just be a sculpture. But..."
"We process that mold several times to create a breast-shaped glass. Right now, I'm thinking of a three-step process using plaster, iron, and glass, but if we find other materials, it'll be even easier."
While high-tech industries like semiconductors are impossible, this kind of "modern knowledge cheat" is perfectly doable.
"I've already secured the materials. Thanks to a tip from Sword Maiden Serica, we've succeeded in obtaining slime fluids that can replace plaster."
The material is like silicone, allowing us to create breast molds with the elasticity of a chest that has received a doctor's blessing.
"Honestly, if we just attach a handle to the bottom of that slime model and ensure it's durable, we could sell it right away."
"It's a good idea. Expanding into new business items based on materials from beasts found in the Infinite Labyrinth."
"Right?"
"But why does it have to be breasts?"
"Mother, this conversation is going in circles."
"Even if it goes in circles, I need to understand your reasoning. This whole situation is just so... udderly ridiculous."
"Breast, breast... please stop saying it like that. The breast is innocent. If there's any guilt, it lies with the people who haven't thought of making breast-shaped glasses until now. And."
I pointed both index fingers toward Zenith's chest.
"This idea came to me while looking at your milk storage units, Mother."
"...Are you insane?"
"I'm serious. I was wondering how much milk your breasts could store if they were a single cup. That's how the idea was born."
Eureka? No, should I call it Breasteka?
"Breasts are the truth. And if they are large, beautiful breasts that anyone would find aesthetic, we shouldn't hide them; we should reveal them proudly. In the form of a breast cup."
"Fine. I'll concede that much. Regardless of where the inspiration came from, if it makes Fermaton stronger, then it's a good thing. But..."
Zenith pointed to a section of my business plan.
"You're holding a contest for this?"
"Yes. A contest. It's mainly for advertising purposes."
All those across the land who pride themselves on their breasts, come to Fermaton!
"I plan to use all the allowance I've saved, as well as the money earned by the knight order."
The total prize pool is...
"Ten million gold."
"......How much?"
"Ten million gold. Five million for the winner. The rest will be distributed down the line."
In real-world terms, about a billion won. The winner's prize is nearly 500 million won.
"It's too much money to pass up. Hehe. And it's not like they have to bare their breasts in front of everyone."
"...What is the primary purpose of this contest?"
"Primarily, I want to spread this type of glass far and wide."
I placed two vessels in front of Zenith. One was shaped like a champagne glass, similar to a traditional coupe glass. The other was shaped like a bowl used for makgeolli. Both were undeniably in the shape of a "breast."
"Our Fermaton will expand its business in various directions from now on. To develop this territory, we must create various business items."
Why? In most "territory management" stories, the lords always do this. They use modern cheats to popularize new products, make a fortune, and use it as a development fund.
The only difference is that I'm simply realizing a new business item that deviates slightly from conventional common sense.
"Mother."
I picked up one of the breast-shaped glasses and held it toward Zenith.
"I intend to name the glass after the winner. And a portion of the sales will be paid to her as royalties. For the use of her name."
For example.
"If you were to win, Mother, this glass would be called the Zenith Glass."
Zenith Fermaton. She was clearly one of the top contenders for the championship.