Must They Die?
"Yes, Grandmother, you're absolutely right! It's true that from childhood we enjoyed silk and rich food, living better than ordinary people. But anyone born a child of the Bai family had to march to the battlefield alongside the adults from the year they turned ten. We rode horses, took up swords, and shed blood fighting enemy soldiers. Have you ever seen a ten-year-old from a common household go off to war? Yes, we enjoyed the wealth and honor of this world—but we paid it back with our very lives!"
Bai Jingyan raised her hand and pointed at the spirit tablets in the funeral hall.
"Did my siblings not repay the people's kindness with their lives?"
The Grand Princess pressed her lips together tightly as she watched her granddaughter trembling from head to toe with fury and loathing.
"Grandmother, how is killing Qi Zhengrou any different from how the Emperor sought to kill my grandfather—my father and uncles, my brothers?"
Tears welled up in Bai Jingyan's eyes. The mere thought of the honored dead of the Bai family tore at her chest until it felt like it would split open. It was as though blood seeped from her gums, the iron tang of it rising with every word she spoke.
"Is it the way of this world that the more loyal and righteous a person is, the less likely they are to survive? Grandfather died because he was too honest and upright. He died because he could not fawn over or cling to the powerful! The men of the Bai family carried the common people in their hearts—they would rather die in battle than abandon the people and live on like cowards! Qi Zhengrou devoted himself body and soul to the Bai family and kept faith with us to the very end. Must he die for that? Must the kind of heart, the loyal and righteous man, always die?"
Each question was like a blade driven into the Grand Princess's chest.
Every word, hurled in that hard, unyielding voice, churned her insides until numbness spread to the very tips of her fingers.
The hand tucked inside her sleeve would not stop trembling. At the memory of her husband, her sons, her grandsons, it felt as though her heart were being hollowed out with a knife.
He's right. Not a single word Ayan says is wrong.
Bai Weiting had died because he was honest and upright, because he could not flatter the powerful.
The men of the Bai family had died because they could not abandon the people behind them—died trying to shield the tens of thousands at their backs.
Qi Zhengrou had served the Bai family faithfully and kept his honor, and so the Grand Princess had to kill him. If he had been merely an ordinary servant, she could have bent him with power or tempted him with honors and profit. There would have been no need to end his life.
Bai Jingyan's eyes rimmed red. The grievance knotted in her heart seemed to pierce the very heavens.
Her grandmother, down to the marrow of her bones, was no different from those in the imperial house.
Of course. She was the Grand Princess.
She had married into the Bai family and raised children beside her husband—yet from beginning to end, she had remained, above all else, the Grand Princess!
The Grand Princess let out a long, weary sigh and answered with hollow listlessness.
"Do you truly intend to kill Bai Jingxian?"
"Blood debts are repaid in blood, and a life taken is repaid with a life. Is that not only right?"
Bai Jingyan's voice was iron.
The Grand Princess lifted her head toward the heavens. Tears streamed down the creased corners of her eyes.
"He is your brother! He, too, carries the name of Bai!"
"Qi Zhengrou was a loyal servant who threw away his life for the Bai family. His wife was violated by that beast and died an unjust death! By law, by reason, by human decency—that creature must die!"
Bai Jingyan's eyes were so deep that no one could see to the bottom of them.
"His nature is worse than a beast's. Grandmother, I beg you—do not shame the Bai family. My grandfather would be unable to close his eyes for the disgrace of it!"
Word of the confrontation had spread, and Lady Dong, Second Madam Yu, Third Madam Li, along with Bai Jinxiu, Bai Jindong, and Bai Jinchi, waited anxiously outside.
Old Madam Je, supported by a maid, arrived and asked the moment she set foot in the courtyard.
"What on earth is going on? The servants are whispering that Ayan drew a sword and means to kill someone. Is it true she means to kill that concubine-born boy?"
Bai Jindong had heard the whole story from Nuo Ping and Nanny Zhang while waiting here.
The concubine's son had tried to violate Qi Zhengrou's wife, and in her desperation the woman had dashed her head against the door pillar and died. Bai Jingxian—that beast who deserved to die a hundred times over—had even defiled her corpse, leaving her no intact body to bury. So that was why there had been scratches on his face when he came to the funeral hall earlier today!
Bai Jindong shook with rage.
She had trailed at her eldest sister's side ever since the day Qi Zhengrou returned, and she knew better than anyone just how far he had sacrificed himself for the Bai family. He had staked his life again and again to seek out meritorious deeds in their name. And now their grandmother meant to kill him—all to bury the crimes of the concubine's son who had driven his wife to her death!
When Bai Jindong turned her head away, her face was drenched in tears. If even she felt this grief and this burning fury, how much pain must her eldest sister be in, bound as she was to their grandmother by decades of love?
A long silence settled over the funeral hall. At last, the Grand Princess took a step back.
"Ayan, if you have any trust left in your grandmother, leave this matter to me. When the Bai family's funerals are over, I swear I will see Qi Zhengrou's merits restored to him. Will that not suffice?"
Strip away the bond of family, the blinding, beguiling affection that made reason impossible—could she believe a woman who had tried to poison Qi Zhengrou when she now promised to restore his honors? She could not.
Bai Jingyan clenched her jaw. It felt as though a dark, cold fog had settled over her, thicker than before.
"If Grandmother truly trusted me, you would never have hidden that concubine's son in this estate. And he would never have been able to harm Qi Zhengrou's wife."
The Grand Princess shut her eyes tightly. Her eldest granddaughter's words meant one thing plainly: I cannot trust you.
"Grandmother, hand over that concubine's son now. I will drag him before Qi Zhengrou's deathbed and cut him down with a single stroke! And if you cannot bring yourself to do it—then hide him well. Because if I find him first, I will make that creature live a life worse than death, and make him regret the day he was ever born, until his last breath. Am I not the granddaughter you raised with your own hands? You know better than anyone that what I swear, I keep."
Gazing at the Grand Princess—the weight of all her years suddenly visible on her face—Bai Jingyan felt fury blaze in her eyes. Grief and rage crowded her chest until she could scarcely breathe.
"And if you could cast me aside for the sake of that boy—then call the dark guards this instant and order them to kill me."
Bai Jingyan's eyes were red to the point of being chilling. Yet they burned with nothing but resolve and defiance.
"I will swear it before the honored spirits of the Bai family. Between me and that concubine's son... only one of us will remain in this world. As long as he draws breath, I am the one who deserves to die."
"Ayan!"
The Grand Princess's eyes looked as though they would split apart.
Outside the door, Lady Dong heard her daughter's oath and, in her shock, nearly pushed her way inside before forcing herself back with all her strength. Tears ran down both her cheeks.
Bai Jingyan looked at the grandmother who had cherished and adored her—the grandmother who, when the child lay burning with fever years ago, had begged the heavens to take ten years of her own life if only this girl might be spared. The blood pooled in her chest seemed to freeze solid, turning into the bitter cold of this deepest winter.
Bai Jingyan sank to her knees and bowed low before the Grand Princess.
"My grandfather taught me that hesitation in the face of a problem invites certain ruin. Grandmother—thank you. Thank you for letting me cut this tie cleanly, once and for all."
It was as though a blade had buried itself in the Grand Princess's heart. Her body swayed; she could barely remain standing.
"Ayan—is this your way of severing your bond with me, here and now?"
Bai Jingyan clenched her teeth. She said not a single word. Three times she bowed, and then she walked out of the funeral hall.
"Ayan! Ayan..."
The Grand Princess called after her in desperation, but Bai Jingyan left without so much as turning her head.
Stepping out of the funeral hall, Bai Jingyan saw her mother, her aunts, and her sisters all waiting. The cold wind lashed her face, yet she could not hold back the scalding tears.
So it has come to this, between Grandmother and me!
"Ayan..."
Lady Dong climbed the steps and gently took her daughter's frozen hand.
"Mother, I'm all right."
The choked voice was tightly sealed, like a door shut against a flood.
"I... I want to go see Qi Zhengrou."
Lady Dong nodded.
"Go. I'll hold things together here."
Bai Jingyan had no wish to show her mother, her aunts, or her sisters how weak and wretched she felt. She lowered her head in a brief bow and walked straight toward the rear garden.
After paying their respects, Nanny Dong, Chun Tao, and Nuo Ping hurried after Bai Jingyan.
"Eldest Sister!"
Bai Jinchi started to follow, but Bai Jindong held her back.
"Eldest Sister doesn't want us to see her weak. Wait a little."
"But she's crying, Eldest Sister! She's crying!"
Bai Jinxiu turned her head toward the funeral hall, its candles burning bright, and bowed her head.
"Yes... she is crying. She chose to walk a different road from the person closest to her heart—right now she must be churning inside beyond all telling. It must feel like dull knife-blades flaying the flesh off her bones."
Nanny Zhang stared after Bai Jingyan's receding figure, weeping helplessly, at a complete loss. She had tried to counsel the Grand Princess—had warned her that if the eldest granddaughter ever learned of Qi Zhengrou's death, the two would surely come to blows. But never had she imagined the girl would turn away so unflinchingly and sever her bond with the Grand Princess altogether.
With no time for deeper thought, Nanny Zhang hurried into the funeral hall. She was terrified that something might happen to the Grand Princess.
"That concubine's son must not be left alive."
Old Madam Je spoke up suddenly.
"I'll go speak with Her Ladyship myself."
Supporting herself at the waist, the old madam entered the funeral hall.
"Jinxiu, Jindong, Jinchi—go to your eldest sister in a little while. Tell her not to grieve too much. I'll try to persuade her grandmother myself, so tell her not to worry."
Lady Dong asked in a low voice.
"Yes, Mother!"
Bai Jinxiu bowed in farewell and led her two sisters out.
"Your Highness the Grand Princess!"
Nanny Zhang's panicked cry rang out from within.
Lady Dong, Second Madam Yu, and Third Madam Li gasped and, hoisting their skirts, rushed into the funeral hall.
At the sight of the Grand Princess collapsed in the hall, Lady Dong shouted urgently.
"Quickly! Hurry—bring my name tablet and summon the imperial physicians! Nanny Jin, gather some people and help me take Mother to Changshou Yuan!"
Chaos broke out in the funeral hall. But Lady Dong, mindful of Bai Jingyan's reputation, made certain that word never spread of the Grand Princess collapsing after a quarrel with her eldest granddaughter.
She hurried over and called to Nanny Jin, who had just run off to fetch help.
"Her Highness the Grand Princess collapsed from grief, mourning our late lord alongside us. Do you understand?"
Nanny Jin nodded again and again.