Forgiveness
Bai Jinchi turned her head. She looked at her sister, whose eyes were rimmed red yet who wore a strangely calm expression, and spoke softly.
"Sister."
Bai Jinchi could not understand why the fact that her two brothers were still alive had to be hidden from their grandmother. If Grandmother knew, surely she would grieve less.
But there had to be a reason her elder sister was doing this. Bai Jinchi trusted her.
"I trusted Grandmother completely, and I leaned on her more than anyone. I thought she was the one person in this world I could depend on. And I believed she was the one person who would never abandon the deepest blood ties this world has to offer."
"But Grandmother... the Grand Princess of Jin comes first, and only after that is she our grandmother. If the deepest blood bond supposedly exists between us, only for us to end up guarding against each other, watching each other warily, wearing each other down and showing each other our ugliest faces—then I'd rather cut the tie clean before we ever get there."
Nanny Zhang froze in her seat, stunned.
"You're a loyal servant, Nanny, so I trust you'll look after Grandmother well. That's why I'm asking you to ease her heart whenever you can, and help her let go of her sorrow."
Bai Jingyan lowered her head, then continued in a quiet voice.
"Pingshu, let's go."
Chun Tao and Nanny Dong paid their respects to Nanny Zhang and followed beside the carriage.
Nanny Zhang stood at the entrance of Qinghui Courtyard, staring blankly after the carriage as it grew smaller and smaller in the distance. Her chest ached as though a blunt blade were raking across it.
The carriage swayed as it rolled into a village where the roads were narrow. Children who had been romping about came running after the handsome, oversized carriage with a chorus of shouts.
The Bai family convoy followed the raised ridges between the paddy fields westward, halting before a small courtyard where a white lantern hung.
Nanny Dong helped Bai Jingyan down from the carriage. Nuo Ping knocked at the gate, and Nanny Dong directed the servants to unload the goods stacked in the carriage behind—food and daily necessities meant for Qi Zhengyu.
Though Nuo Ping knocked for a long while, the door stayed shut. He leaned toward the gap and peered inside. Someone was definitely moving about within.
"Zhengyu, it's me, Nuo Ping. The Eldest Miss has come. Open the door at once!"
From within the weed-choked courtyard came Qi Zhengyu's cold voice.
"This place is squalid and filthy—a place unfit to receive a Commandery Princess. Turn back!"
When Nuo Ping raised his hand to knock again, Bai Jingyan stopped him. She stood at the entrance and spoke toward the interior.
"Qi Zhengyu, the Bai family has committed a grave sin against you. We have done something unforgivable to your wife as well. You staked your very life for the Bai family, and the Bai family tried to take that life from you. I know. Killing that concubine's son will not bring your wife back. The Bai family has truly sinned against you. From now on, I will do everything in my power to make amends, however small. If you don't wish to see me, then at least accept these things."
Bai Jingyan turned and signaled for the goods and food to be set down at the entrance. Then she walked a few steps and tucked away the five hundred taels in silver notes that her grandmother had given Qi Zhengyu—notes she had folded carefully inside a cotton quilt.
Inside the room, Qi Zhengyu's eyes reddened.
The truth was, he could not blame the Eldest Miss. When the Grand Princess had tried to have him killed, she had done everything in her power to protect him—even at the cost of distancing herself from the Grand Princess.
When Qi Zhengyu had fainted and then, dimly, regained his senses, he had heard the Eldest Miss's voice. She had 'taken back' Physician Hong from the Duke's estate, declaring that since this was a matter for a benefactor of the Bai family, anyone who dared steal away a physician would see their entire clan exterminated without a single beast left alive.
And he had even heard the sound of the Eldest Miss breaking that physician's fingers, one by one.
He learned later that she had drawn her blade and stormed into the mourning hall, quarreling with the Grand Princess herself to protect him. That she had even sworn that if that concubine's son did not die, she herself would meet a miserable end.
She had even severed her own bond with her grandmother.
The Eldest Miss had gone this far to seek justice for him—if he were to hate her too, how grievously wronged she would be.
The reason Qi Zhengyu had thrown his life into serving the Bai family faithfully was because of the Bai family's virtue. They were a clan that had preserved loyalty through every generation, brave souls who risked their lives to save the common people.
That was precisely why the Grand Princess's actions had frozen his heart so completely.
But were the young misses of the Bai family not the very embodiment of that same virtue? They were people truly worth following to the death. Was he really to abandon a faith so long and firmly held because of one woman's deed?
Just as Nanny Dong was helping Bai Jingyan back into the carriage, the wooden door creaked and swung slowly open.
Bai Jingyan, who had been bending to step inside, froze where she stood. She turned her head to see Qi Zhengyu, one arm gone, walking out with reddened eyes.
Bai Jingyan straightened and looked toward where he stood. Her throat was seized tight, and hot tears spilled down her cheeks.
Qi Zhengyu clenched his teeth, swept back the hem of his robe, and knelt before Bai Jingyan, bowing deeply.
Bai Jingyan stepped down from the carriage and said in a choked voice:
"Pingshu, help him up."
"Yes, my lady!"
Nuo Ping hurried to support Qi Zhengyu.
Bai Jinchi blinked away her reddened eyes as she watched him.
"Qi Zhengyu, won't you invite my sister and me inside?"
Qi Zhengyu looked from Bai Jinchi to Bai Jingyan—both bronzed dark from the Southern Border campaign—then gritted his teeth and twisted his body into a posture of guiding them within.
The Qi family courtyard had no one to tend it, and the grass had grown wild and thick. The room inside, however, was kept immaculately clean.
Bai Jingyan and Bai Jinchi sat facing each other across a black table. Qi Zhengyu lifted the teapot with his one hand and poured for them.
Bai Jingyan did not tell him it was no trouble; she simply nodded her thanks and asked after his condition.
"I'm fine. It's only that I have far too much leisure these days... that's the problem."
Qi Zhengyu dropped his head. His voice seemed drained of all life.
"Since losing my arm, there's nothing I can do anymore. I don't know what I'll be able to do from here on."
At those words, Nuo Ping hurriedly cut in.
"Zhengyu, how can you think that way? It isn't that we've withheld work from you—we only asked you to recover your strength first."
Bai Jingyan pressed her lips together inwardly and turned to look out at the maids and servants tidying Qi Zhengyu's courtyard from outside.
Everyone needed something to do. Only with work at hand could the heart keep from unraveling.
Bai Jingyan lowered her head, deliberated for a moment, and then spoke.
"Pingshu, Nanny Dong, Chun Tao—wait outside. I have something to discuss with Qi Zhengyu."
"Yes, my lady!"
Nanny Dong and Nuo Ping bowed and walked out.
Chun Tao went last, closing the door behind her.
"Qi Zhengyu, I have a favor to ask of you."
Bai Jingyan did not tell Bai Jinchi to leave. She spoke with grave courtesy.
"I want you to go to Donggu Mountain. I want you to go there and help my seventh brother raise the Bai Family Army once more."
Qi Zhengyu's eyes went wide, and he stared at Bai Jingyan's calm face.
The Seventh Young Master?
The Seventh Young Master was still alive?
His legs and face went numb, as if sensation had drained from his body for a long moment.
"The Seventh Young Master... is alive?"
Bai Jingyan nodded.
"The greatest harvest of the Southern Border. I found my seventh brother, and I saved my eighth. I haven't even told our mother. Only Jinchi and I know."
"The Bai family's situation is precarious right now. If the Emperor learned that two of my brothers still lived, there would surely be an upheaval."
Qi Zhengyu's mouth hung open. Bai Jingyan had caught the edge of complaint in his grumbling earlier, and that was why she had chosen to entrust this to him—she had intended to place the affairs of the Southern Border in his hands. But to think it would come out like this...
Qi Zhengyu gripped his empty sleeve tight. He deliberated for a long while, and at last shook his head.
"You're telling me this because you fear I'll lose my mind, aren't you? Because you fear I'll spend the rest of my days doing nothing but sighing. But even if I went... in this state, it's impossible. I would only be a burden."
Before Bai Jingyan could speak, Qi Zhengyu sank to one knee.
"Eldest Miss, if you still have use for this Qi Zhengyu, then grant me only a little time. You lost your health and your martial arts, and yet you drew the Sun-Shooting Bow again—so a man who has lost one arm can surely learn to grip a sword in his left hand!"
Bai Jingyan let out a breath of relief. She was simply glad that his spirit had not broken.
"Then I will wait."
She nodded and gently helped him to his feet.
"On the first day of the fifth month, our family returns to Suyang. Will you come with us to Suyang?"
Qi Zhengyu looked at Bai Jingyan and answered with utmost formality.
"This Qi Zhengyu is a man with nothing left to lose. From this day until the day I die, I will follow the Eldest Miss and no one else."
Bai Jingyan's nose stung. This man—this was the loyal retainer of the Bai family whom her grandmother had cast aside.
"Then make your preparations well, and come to the Bai Manor at the end of the fourth month."
"Yes, my lady!"
Qi Zhengyu bowed his head.
Baoxiang Restaurant, Guping Town.
Xiao Rongyan stepped down from the carriage, turned, and helped Murong Li—dressed in plainclothes—down after him.
Murong Li climbed two steps up onto the stone stairway and turned to take in the Guping Town temple fair. A scene of bustling prosperity met his eyes, the crowds flowing together like mountains and seas. Vendors called out to passersby with every trick they knew before their shopfronts, hawkers' cries ringing out on every side.
Never once in Great Yan had Murong Li seen such a lively spectacle. Though the people of Jin wore rough hemp garments, there was nothing shabby about them. Children rode their fathers' necks, candied hawthorn skewers clutched in their small hands, clapping and cheering at the musicians and performers on the stage.
The streets lined with shops were packed shoulder to shoulder with pedestrians, the murmur of easy conversation drifting from every corner. He could hear the common folk who had come to gawk at the fair haggling cheerfully with the shopkeepers.
Murong Li envied this lively scene with all his heart.
He hoped that a few years from now, the people of Great Yan too might live in such plenty, spared the agony of war, just like the people of Jin.
"What are you looking at so intently?"
Xiao Rongyan asked with a smiling face.
"I envy the Great Jin's comfortable abundance, Uncle..."
Murong Li answered him honestly.
Xiao Rongyan smiled and spoke slowly.
"There are only a few years left. Our Great Yan will be like this soon enough. So don't be impatient."
"I trust my imperial father. And I trust you, Uncle."
Murong Li looked up at Xiao Rongyan, his eyes black and white gleaming in clear contrast.
Xiao Rongyan, aware that someone was following them, adopted a deferential posture toward Murong Li and told him and Feng Yao to enter Baoxiang Restaurant ahead of him.
At the very moment Murong Li was about to step inside, a carriage halted at the entrance. When Bai Jinchi leapt lightly down from it, Murong Li stopped mid-step.
"Is that the Gaoyi County Princess?"
Xiao Rongyan followed Murong Li's gaze to where he pointed. Bai Jinchi turned and reached a hand back into the carriage, and Bai Jingyan, head bowed, emerged and took her sister's hand to step down.
Xiao Rongyan's lips parted slightly. To think such a coincidence existed. To meet her here, of all places.
He stood rooted in place, his gaze fixed on the direction where Bai Jingyan stood.