Grandmother
The snow showed no sign of stopping. Bai Jingyan had walked through it the entire way. The maid sweeping snow outside Changshou Courtyard was so quick on her feet that the moment she spotted Bai Jingyan approaching from a distance, she set down her broom and hurried inside to report.
Before Bai Jingyan had even reached the entrance to the courtyard, Nanny Zhang, who served at the Grandmother's side, came hastening out to meet her.
"Eldest Miss, the snow hasn't even stopped yet—what brings you out here?"
Umbrella in hand, Nanny Zhang rushed toward her with the maids trailing behind. Without a word of fuss, she took the cold hand warmer from Bai Jingyan's fingers and pressed a fresh one from a maid's hands into their place, then spread the umbrella over Bai Jingyan's head.
Years ago, Bai Jingyan had fallen into the water with a blade wound in her abdomen, and the illness that lingered afterward left her unusually sensitive to the cold. There was no one in the household who didn't know it.
Nanny Zhang had served at the Grandmother's side since she was seven years old. She had never married, and in her past life, after the Grandmother passed into the next world, she had followed her in death by swallowing gold. Her devotion ran that deep.
"Nanny."
Walking beside her toward Changshou Courtyard, Bai Jingyan asked, "Has Grandmother woken from her nap?"
"Her Royal Highness is awake—she's at her prayers right now, praying to the Buddha that the Duke, the Young Heir, and their men might return home safely."
"How is Grandmother's health?"
"Don't you worry, Eldest Miss. The chief physician of the Imperial Medical Bureau has been attending Her Highness. It's only that the year's end has come and the Duke, the Young Heir, and the young masters still haven't returned, so Her Highness has been sleeping poorly."
Bai Jingyan nodded and stepped into the warmed chamber first, smoothing her wind-tousled clothes. Nanny Zhang ordered the servants to replace Bai Jingyan's snow-dusted shoes, then wiped her hands dry with a warm towel.
"Nanny, there is something I must say."
She removed her cloak and handed it to Chun Tao, then took a seat beside the brazier.
"Everyone, withdraw."
Nanny Zhang was a discerning woman. The moment Bai Jingyan announced she had something to say, she quietly stepped to one side.
"Nanny... word has come from the Southern Border."
Nanny Zhang's breath caught. A dreadful premonition drained the color from her face.
"Could it be the Duke—"
Bai Jingyan stared hard into the brazier and stretched her hands toward the flames. After a moment of silence, she spoke again.
"It will be a trouble to you, but prepare the life-saving medicine Her Majesty the Empress Dowager granted Grandmother last time. And bring out the ginseng slices as well, in advance."
Nanny Zhang nodded, her face gone white as ash.
A sharp crack sounded outside. Bai Jingyan turned her head toward the latticed wooden window and saw that a branch, bowed under the weight of the snow, had snapped.
She curled her chilled fingers inward and pressed her lips tight.
"Also, send word with Grandmother's summons card to have Physician Hwang brought here and kept on standby."
"Eldest Miss—seeing how poorly Her Highness has been sleeping lately, I believe she may already have some inkling of it!"
Nanny Zhang's eyes reddened.
"Her Highness has a strong heart. It's not as though this alone would call for a physician. She will endure it."
"Nanny, I think we should call for the physician all the same."
Though her gaze was lowered, Bai Jingyan's eyes glistened with tears.
Whether her grandmother was strong enough, whether she could endure it—she had already learned the answer in her past life.
Bai Jingyan was terrified of losing her family again in this life as well. Her grandmother was a sharp, wise woman; even told it was only a dream, she would surely guess at the truth. Everything had to be made ready.
"Could it be... has something happened to the Young Heir as well?"
Nanny Zhang's legs gave out beneath her, and she braced herself against the doorframe.
The Young Heir of whom Nanny Zhang spoke was Bai Jingyan's father—the Grand Princess's rightful eldest son.
Bai Jingyan looked up at her. Nanny Zhang's eyes were damp and rimmed with red, but her spine remained straight and unbowed.
"Nanny, you are no stranger to me, so I will tell you the truth. The Bai family's future... it seems the only one we will have left to lean on is Grandmother. Just know it, and hold it in your heart—until the court's dispatch is officially delivered. I will tell Grandmother I had a dream, so that she may steel herself. And since you must attend to her, you must hold firm, Nanny. No matter what."
Nanny Zhang's head throbbed and cold sweat broke out across her skin. She nodded slowly, collecting herself. If a girl so young as the Eldest Miss could hold herself together, then a woman who had weathered every treacherous current of palace life had no right to be weaker than her.
Steadying herself, Nanny Zhang dispatched a servant at once, ordering that the Grand Princess's summons card be taken to fetch Physician Hwang.
Bai Jingyan stayed in the side chamber, warming the chill from her bones. Around the time Physician Hwang was due to arrive, she asked Nanny Zhang to tell her grandmother that she had come to visit.
"A-Yan, with your health as frail as it is, why did you walk all the way here through the snow?"
The moment the Grand Princess laid eyes on her, she began to scold. But even as her mouth chided, her hands were stroking Bai Jingyan's fingers—and when she felt they were warm, the color in her face improved a little.
Meeting her grandmother once more, hearing her call her by her childhood name—Bai Jingyan felt as though a whole age had turned between then and now.
She pressed down the knot in her throat and spoke. "I missed you, Grandmother."
At Bai Jingyan's small petulance, the Grand Princess put on a cross expression. Then she tapped her granddaughter lightly on the forehead with one finger and drew her into her arms. Only after feeling her hands once more to be sure they were warm did she speak in her gentle voice.
"In another hour or so, the palace painters will arrive. All the girls are busy dressing and preening in their chambers—and yet you alone came running to this old woman."
Tomorrow was the wedding day of the eldest daughter of the Zhenguo Duke Estate. It was the first time the family would send a daughter off in marriage, and so the Grandmother had summoned several painters from the palace to paint portraits for all the sisters.
Truly held against her grandmother, breathing in the sandalwood that clung to her robes, Bai Jingyan felt her heart grow heavier and heavier, aching dully. She was afraid that the moment she delivered her news, she would see everything unfold exactly as it had in her past life.
Nanny Zhang lifted the curtain and entered, giving Bai Jingyan a small nod—Physician Hwang had arrived. She then dismissed everyone gathered at the entrance.
"Grandmother..."
Bai Jingyan lifted her head and looked at the Grand Princess.
"At midday today, I had a dream. Grandfather, Father, my uncles, all my brothers—none of them came back from the Southern Border. You fell ill from the shock, and in the midst of it, someone rose up to slander our Bai family, claiming we had conspired with the enemy, and only the women were left in our house. And stripped of your protection, we lived lives trampled ruthlessly into the dirt."
At Bai Jingyan's words, the Grand Princess's body went rigid and her face drained white. Nanny Zhang hurriedly drew out the life-saving medicine the Empress Dowager had bestowed and approached with water in hand.
"Your Highness—"
The Grand Princess waved Nanny Zhang off and soothed Bai Jingyan instead.
"Poor child. It was only a dream. Dreams run contrary to life—do they not?"
"It was too vivid! It truly terrified me! Grandmother... in the dream, every official at court sneered at the Bai family—a house of women with no men to defend it. Mother hastily changed my brothers' names and sent them away, telling them never to return. She tried to clear the Bai name of the false charges, but when she found no way left to her, she... she took my aunts and hanged themselves, leaving behind a letter written in blood! It was so terribly frightening."
As her emotion crested, cold grief and sorrow gathered in Bai Jingyan's eyes—and at the sight, a chill ran down the Grand Princess's spine.
"A-Yan, do not be afraid!"
The Grand Princess pulled her into a fierce embrace.
"Don't be afraid! Your grandmother is right here beside you."
"Grandmother..."
Bai Jingyan exchanged a few more words with her, then withdrew from the room. The moment she was gone, the Grand Princess could hold back no longer—she clutched the front of her robe, coughed up a mouthful of blood, and collapsed onto the daybed.
"Your Highness!"
Nanny Zhang rushed to support her, wiping the blood from her lips with a handkerchief and calling frantically for someone.
"Come! Bring Physician Hwang at once!"
"No need."
The Grand Princess gripped Nanny Zhang's hand and shook her head. Struggling to hold back her tears, she asked:
"Has A-Yan... gone far?"
"Do not worry, Your Highness. The Eldest Miss has already gone far away..."
Nanny Zhang's answer came through her tears.
The grip of the Grand Princess's hand on Nanny Zhang's slackened, just slightly. Tears spilled down her cheeks without restraint.
"I raised that child with these hands from the time she was small. Do you think I don't know her nature? She is telling me it was merely a dream because she fears I could not bear the shock if word of death arrived so suddenly. There is no other way that child would say something so absurd as this—she would never leave me trembling in dread otherwise!"
Nanny Zhang wept with her, clasping the Grand Princess's hand tight.
"Your Highness, you must endure this, whatever it takes! If the dream the Eldest Miss spoke of is true, then it falls to you to protect the Zhenguo Duke Estate!"
"Of course! Endure it I shall!"
The Grand Princess's reddened eyes blazed like torches. Bracing one elbow against the table, she pushed herself upright and went on.
"If every man of the Bai family returns dead from the battlefield, and I collapse as well, then the Zhenguo Duke Estate will be crushed under persecution of every kind! For our children's sake, I must endure—no matter what it takes!"
Nanny Zhang nodded again and again.
"Your Highness, Physician Hwang is here. Let him take your pulse at once—you absolutely must not collapse!"
The Grand Princess nodded and closed her swollen eyes. The thought that her husband, her son, and her grandsons might all have perished in the Southern Border tore at her gut and hollowed out her chest like a blade scooping her hollow.
But this was no time for grief. Before the certain news of calamity reached Dadu, there was much she would have to think through carefully. If this news proved true—what would become of the Zhenguo Duke Estate's future?