No Benefit to It
As Bai Jingyan, mounted on her fine steed, drew closer and closer, Li Zhijie — the man whose refined charm had moved countless women to tears — found his mind drifting, if only for a moment.
He had heard she was a fierce general, a master of war, so he had imagined Bai Jingyan would be some rough-hewn man of a face, all cords of muscle and coarse features. But the nearer she came, the more distinctly her exquisite features came into view — she was, by anyone's measure, a consummate beauty.
Of course. Every descendant of the Bai family they had captured had been a strikingly handsome man. Naturally, the women of the Bai family would be beauties as well.
The corners of Li Zhijie's mouth lifted. Holding his iron-ribbed fan in his left hand, he clapped his right palm again and again.
"So this is the Little White Marshal — a flawless beauty! Even from this far away, I can already catch her fragrance."
Liu Chentuo knew all too well how weak Li Zhijie was to beauty. Toward those with handsome or lovely faces, his master showed a peculiar forbearance and patience. Had it not been for Liu Chentuo's own comely features, he would never have caught Li Zhijie's eye in the first place.
If Li Zhijie had been even slightly less bewitched by beauty and harbored even the faintest ambition for that lofty throne, he could have claimed the Emperor's seat with room to spare during the Yunjing upheaval.
Liu Chentuo lowered his voice and reminded him patiently.
"Your Highness, we have come on the great mission of peace talks. You must see to the affairs of state first."
"I know! Of course I know!"
Li Zhijie gazed at Bai Jingyan with eyes like blazing peach blossoms, his smile deepening by the degree.
"Do I truly look like a man so mad with lust he has lost all reason? The two of us may be enemies, but admiring the Little White Marshal's beauty is a separate matter entirely! However great a lover of women I may be, I only look. I have never once coveted another man's beauty. Even I have some dignity. I may not be able to lord it over Jin, but I will never be looked down upon by Jin."
The Jin convoy arrived before the military tents, and Bai Jingyan, astride her reddish-brown steed, dismounted. Li Zhijie, who had come out to greet her, stood staring at her in a daze, his long, narrow peach-blossom eyes burning hot.
Bai Jingyan returned his gaze with a composed expression, her eyes calm and unfathomably deep.
Liu Chentuo stepped forward quickly and spoke in a low voice.
"Your Highness."
Only then did Li Zhijie come to his senses, the light returning to his eyes. Aware of his lapse, he raised his hands in a bow of great respect toward Bai Jingyan.
"General Bai, I presume!"
He had expected a frail woman behind that gorgeous face, but she stood tall in her armor, overflowing instead with spirit and style. Li Zhijie had never seen a woman so lovely and so cold at once — a peerless beauty of the mortal world, a rare and imperious one.
Liu Chentuo said nothing. He could not bear to watch.
You said you would keep your dignity, did you not? You said that even if you could not put Jin in its place, you would never be belittled by it? And the moment you meet her, you bow to the very deepest degree to an enemy general — I suppose you'll kneel outright when you see the Crown Prince.
Bai Jingyan gave a small nod.
"The honor is mine."
Liu Chentuo stood with his head bowed behind Li Zhijie.
It seems Your Highness has just handed Bai Jingyan the perfect chance to lord it over Xiliang with his own two hands.
When Zhan Yu helped the Crown Prince down from the carriage, Li Zhijie stepped forward to meet him. For a 'Crown Prince's face,' it was somewhat wanting.
Uglier than the descendants of the Bai family who slew the Xiliang Emperor.
To show his respect for the Crown Prince, Li Zhijie bowed until his hands touched the ground.
"Your Highness, Crown Prince."
"Rise, Prince of Yan."
The Crown Prince gave a slight nod.
"Your Highness, this way."
The Prince of Yan turned and addressed the Crown Prince with due courtesy, then turned his burning gaze back to Bai Jingyan.
"General Bai, this way."
Inside the magnificent carriage of Xiliang.
Princess Li Tianfu, a thin veil over her face leaving only her alluring eyes visible, leaned against the interior of the fragrant carriage, looking faintly weary. In her hand she held a storybook that Li Zhijie had procured from another land, her face distant and lost, as though burdened by some worry.
"Your Highness, the Crown Prince of Jin and the Little White Marshal, called the Living God of War, have arrived. The Prince of Yan bids Your Highness prepare yourself properly. He says that if you are late, the Crown Prince of Jin will take offense."
A Xiliang eunuch relayed the message to Li Tianfu from outside the carriage in a thin, reedy voice.
At those words, fury surged through her in an instant, and she hurled the storybook from her hand. It struck the pure-gold incense burner on the table with a resounding crash.
The palace maids inside the carriage dropped to their knees in a rush, trembling all over, unable to speak.
Li Tianfu's imperious, rage-laced words spilled from within the carriage.
"Take offense? Has Li Zhijie had his spine broken from being beaten by Jin? I am the legitimate princess of Xiliang. Today, I will not show my face from morning to night. What — the Crown Prince of Jin has arrived, so I must fidget and hurry to make myself presentable! Has he forgotten how my father died? Why on earth did my sister send a man like that to the talks? It's humiliating beyond bearing, truly!"
The legitimate princess of Xiliang had been cherished and doted upon by the Emperor and Empress from childhood. Where in the world would a woman born to such exalted station have ever suffered humiliation like this? Li Tianfu's eyes reddened.
It was a peace embassy she had come on against her every inclination. Xiliang and Southern Yan had joined forces first and attacked Jin, and Jin had won with a mere handful of troops — so, her mother the Empress had repeated over and over, only by ceding land, paying indemnities, and entering an alliance of peace could they avoid sending hostages. Better an alliance of peace than sending a hostage, she had said.
Men conquer the world; women conquer men. Win the favor of the Crown Prince of Jin, her mother had argued, and when he ascended the throne, she would bear a child of Xiliang blood — and if that child became the Crown Prince, Jin would be as good as Xiliang's own.
But why should she? She had come from the same womb as her sister who was now Empress; both were legitimate daughters. True, she lacked her sister's wisdom and could not inherit the throne — but since her sister was Empress now, surely she could at least be invested as a princess royal in her own right? Why, of all people, should she be the one sent for the alliance? She simply could not accept it.
However she turned it over, the injustice of it welled up in her, and Li Tianfu burrowed into the carriage with no intention of coming out. Tears kept rising in her eyes.
"Go and tell Li Zhijie this: I am ill. If the Crown Prince of Jin wishes to meet me, he may come here himself!"
"Your Highness……"
Liu Chentuo's voice came from outside the carriage.
"I know full well how deeply aggrieved Your Highness is. That is why your anger is only natural."
At the sound of Liu Chentuo's voice, Li Tianfu rose in haste and lifted the carriage curtain with her pale, slender hand. Seeing the handsome, considerate young master Liu Chentuo standing outside, the tears that had brimmed in her eyes came spilling down.
"Your Highness. But for the greater picture — might you bear it just a little longer?"
When Li Tianfu, tears streaming down her face, looked at him with eyes full of reproach, Liu Chentuo's heart ached. He lowered his head, drew out the clean handkerchief he had folded neatly and kept against his breast, and offered it to her with both hands.
Li Tianfu bit her lower lip hard, then snatched the handkerchief with cold abruptness. With the hand that had held up the curtain, she wiped her tears.
The fresh scent of magnolia, Liu Chentuo's signature fragrance, rose from the handkerchief, and her heart grew calm.
"Everyone out! Liu Chentuo, come in and brew the tea!"
Liu Chentuo, standing outside the carriage, clenched his fist and nodded.
"Yes, Your Highness."
Li Tianfu shouted at the maids still kneeling inside the carriage.
"What are you waiting for? Out, now!"
The maids answered in haste and meekly withdrew from the carriage.
"Master Liu, please come inside."
Li Tianfu's maid bowed respectfully to Liu Chentuo as she spoke.
Everyone knew Liu Chentuo was a eunuch, so no one thought anything of his being alone in the carriage with the princess.
Liu Chentuo pushed back the hem of his robe and entered the carriage with a composed air, knelt on both knees to pay his respects to Li Tianfu, then washed his hands in clean water and, with practiced ease, began brewing the tea for her.
Li Tianfu was leaning against a cushion when she watched the refined, handsome Liu Chentuo elegantly warming the teacups over the kettle on the brazier. Seeing that he truly meant only to brew tea, she could restrain herself no longer and slipped into his arms. Caught utterly unprepared, Liu Chentuo knocked his back against the wooden panel behind him; the tea implements on the table clattered together.
The maids outside the carriage bowed their heads and stood silently, as though they had heard nothing.
Inside the carriage, Li Tianfu wrapped both arms around Liu Chentuo's neck and kissed him through the veil, tears flowing ceaselessly down her cheeks.
Liu Chentuo's throat burned hot. He carefully wrapped his hands around her shoulders and gently pushed her back, his deep, dark eyes brimming with heartache. He spoke in a low voice.
"Your Highness, I am a eunuch. I am not a man worthy of you. Please, forget me."
"How can I forget?"
Weeping, Li Tianfu roughly tore at his robes.
"If that was how it would be, why did no one tell me they would castrate me when they taught me of love between men and women? Today, I will have you!"
As the fabric split, Liu Chentuo's chest was laid bare. He caught her hands in his, the rims of his eyes red, and spoke through his tears.
"Your Highness, I am a castrated man. Would you truly heap this humiliation upon me? I pray that you will take a whole man for your husband. So please…… I beg you…… leave me even the smallest shred of dignity."
However many times she demanded it, Liu Chentuo could not bear to show the woman he loved his incomplete body.
He could only curse and resent himself for being a man no longer.
And yet — had he not been castrated and entered the Xiliang palace, how could he ever have met Li Tianfu at all?
Li Tianfu glared at him, both eyes brimming with tears. For a long moment that gaze burned — then the fury in it turned to bitter reproach.
"How can your heart be so cruel?"
Li Tianfu began to weep as though out of her mind. All the rage she had swallowed seemed about to burst from her. Turning her gaze to his torn robes, she did not hesitate for an instant before sinking her teeth hard into Liu Chentuo's shoulder.
At the pain, Liu Chentuo drew in a sharp breath — and in that instant Li Tianfu freed her hands, climbed onto him, and held him tight. She had bitten down so hard that her mouth was filled with the taste of blood, but she had no thought of letting go.
Liu Chentuo's nostrils flared. What was the pain of a shoulder, beside the pain in his chest? He lifted a hand and lightly encircled her slender waist, then swept his warm palm down the trembling length of Li Tianfu's back. He let her bite his shoulder, and waited without a word until she had steadied herself.
"When you've vented your anger as much as you like, go out and face them. I will wait for you here."
From Li Tianfu's mouth, still clamped on his shoulder hard enough to kill, a low sob finally broke free. She wept like a young animal seized by grief and anguish, knowing not at all what to do.
Within the lavish tents, music swelled and lamplight glittered brilliantly, and in its midst the Crown Prince and Li Zhijie raised their cups to one another.
Throughout their conversation, Li Zhijie's eyes never once strayed from Bai Jingyan. Even the Crown Prince noticed that gaze, and it displeased him greatly.
The Prince of Yan of Xiliang had no official consort yet. Could it be that Bai Jingyan had caught his fancy? If Bai Jingyan were married off to Xiliang, nothing good could come of it for Great Jin. This much he knew — and so did his father the Emperor.