I'll Wreck That Cock
The great Demon King, Lichtes the Third, was stunned senseless. In the same breath, he unleashed the greatest fury he had ever felt, blasting it outward as a mental wave.
"That uncultured gorilla of a bitch dares—! To destroy my masterpiece?!"
The mighty lord of the undead, Lichtes the Third, had used a slime's properties to craft a monster immune to cutting and tearing attacks — built from the baron's third daughter. And what a grueling process it had been. First, to keep that fragile mind from shattering, he had forced spiritual growth upon it using a hero's soul. He had even burned through rare materials like a Queen Slime.
All of it would never have been wasted if not for that woman who had beaten his subordinate like a dog…
"And even that, reduced to nothing! Do you have any idea how much effort went into making that thing?! You damned wretch!"
Sloan, soaring through the air, used rooftops and rubble as springboards, bouncing like a grasshopper. Then came that heavy swing of her holy sword — not with the edge, but the flat of the blade, smacking the creature with a wet crack. Sonic booms shredded the air, and the body evaporated bit by bit.
The monster that had once towered well over ten meters was now barely two. It still packed enough power to pulp ordinary soldiers like dough, but—
"What, it got smaller?"
"After beating on it that hard… isn't that obvious?"
"Fair enough. Let's wrap this up. It's getting boring."
Wrap this up? Speaking of his masterpiece as if it were some deer or wild boar being hunted. Lichtes let his displeasure show plain as day and gripped his bone staff. Woven from the vertebrae of ancient heroes, the staff was designed to draw out its wielder's demonic energy to the fullest.
"Fine. I'll kill you right now, you gorilla—"
No matter how strong that woman was, she would still be weaker than Lichtes. He decided, inelegantly, to handle this himself.
But just as he began gathering his demonic energy, a familiar and thoroughly unpleasant mental wave burrowed into his mind.
"Lichtes. This is me. Are you listening?"
"I'm working right now. What is this? No — before that. Forcing your way into my mind? This is an act of violence."
The 5th Seat, Riact. Among the Demon Kings, he ranked among the top five in strength — a kinsman one did not dare treat lightly. Knowing this all too well, Lichtes answered with a measure of respect.
"You needn't concern yourself with that. More importantly — enough. Withdraw. I will not permit any further fighting."
Lichtes, who had just extended that measure of "respect" to his fellow Demon King, seethed at the words. Even if the other was stronger, to look down on him like this? Unacceptable.
So he clicked his lower jaw — clack, clack — and sent out a wave of pure rage.
"Have you forgotten that even with different ranks, we stand as equals? To think of me as beneath you… how narrow-minded…"
"Shut up, Lichtes. I am already showing you more than enough respect."
"It hardly seems that way. You force your way into someone else's mental waves and still dare to put the word 'respect' in your mouth?"
At that snide remark, Riact murmured in a dry, flat voice.
"I am not currently threatening to kill you on the spot — you, who are three or four times weaker than me, if not more. That is more than enough respect, wouldn't you say?"
"You…!"
"I've mocked you enough. Now to the point. Killing that woman right now would be a mistake."
Don't kill her immediately? If that woman grew any stronger, it would be a disaster.
"If that woman dies here as a martyr? That slippery Pope will turn her corpse into propaganda. The king of the Allied Kingdoms may be our puppet, but could he stop the Pope from declaring her a saint?"
"So what? You're saying we just leave her alone?"
"Thanks to you, this city is nearly half-destroyed."
Lichtes understood at once. In other words: rather than killing her now and turning her into some ridiculous figure in their holy scriptures — pumping up human morale — leave her alive and paint her as a demon to stir them up.
"But if we leave her like that…"
"If we leave her? Ah, right. She'll start hunting our kin. Perfect. We need to thin the numbers a bit anyway. There are far too many."
"…You."
"No matter how many of those lower-rung scraps die, they will never grow strong enough to threaten the real ones — like you or me. Well then. I'll cut this short. Scheming ahead requires conserving brainpower."
With that, his kinsman's mental wave cut off. Lichtes tucked his staff back into subspace and mulled over what had just happened. Then he stopped. Picking a fight with someone stronger than yourself was the sort of thing only idiots did. Having reached that conclusion, Lichtes rolled his glowing eyes this way and that — and vanished.
And not long after, he would learn that events had unfolded exactly as his kinsman intended.
This city whose name I couldn't even remember was half-destroyed. "Wrecked" was the only word that fit the state of it.
First, some bizarre mass of flesh had gone on a rampage and smashed a third of the houses in the city. That included the lord's manor — which was how Baron Arin had been found as a crushed lump of meat. On top of that, the flesh-mass had crawled around trailing a grotesque liquid like a snail, and whatever poison it carried, not a single blade of grass would grow. The place had become a land of death. I genuinely doubted whether it could ever be rebuilt.
"So many people died…"
Lylie murmured in a gloomy voice. Of all of us, she seemed the most shaken. Well, she was a religious woman who served a merciful god — of course she would be.
"It turns out the people of this city belonged to the Order of the Daughter of Light, not the Solar Church. Aah! These poor heretics!"
"…Excuse me?"
"Everyone who died today is going to hell…. I should have started converting them sooner. It's all my lazy fault."
So that was the reason. I quietly prayed that the people who died today would go somewhere good — and that they wouldn't end up in hell the way this insane woman imagined.
"We can't stay here any longer. Honestly, it's for the best. That baron kept pestering us — it was getting on my nerves."
Looking purely at what our party had gained, she wasn't wrong. The power we'd built by killing seven or more Demon Kings here, the reputation we'd earned…
The baron may be dead, but… well, they'll figure it out on their own.
Come to think of it, Sloan had clearly hated the idea of lingering in this city for long. Driven purely by interest, maybe she'd realized the Adventurers' Guild was less fun than expected? She wanted out of this place as soon as possible.
So she took down the enemy, grabbed a little food — stolen, since the owner was dead — and headed outside the city. I wondered if that was really okay, but judging by the party's reaction, this was apparently a regular occurrence.
Things should get a little easier now.
The reason I'd bothered spreading Sloan's fame wasn't just so my kin would recognize how dangerous this woman was — a high reputation also made travel more convenient, didn't it? I was going to be stuck traveling with her for a while, and I had no interest in watching some bandit gang act up anymore.
Thinking that, I walked for a long stretch — until a water droplet plopped onto the bridge of my nose.
"Rain."
The sky had been darkening for a while now. Storm clouds must have rolled in.
"Camilla. Can't you clear the rain clouds with your magic?"
"I could. But then another region would get hit with a downpour. That's why weather-control magic is so dangerous."
"…I don't really get it, but you're saying you can't stop the rain clouds. Fine. Then we rest and move on later."
And so we decided to take a break. Something about it felt deeply ominous — and that feeling only got worse when I saw the cave Sloan had conveniently found…
"This looks good."
"Yeah."
Elisa's arm coiled softly around my waist, and I foresaw the future.
Ah. I'm about to get fucked again. And fucked like a dog, at that. Just thinking it made my body start trembling on its own.
"Hold on. Before we go in, I've got something to say. Me. Right here — I'm dating Vali."
"…Huh?"
"It's not that surprising, is it? Vali's incredibly charming."
What had shocked Sloan wasn't the mere fact that I was dating an elf — a beautiful race. In her understanding, I was Camilla's lover, and now she'd just been told I was dating Elisa.
"Is that sooo? Just what kind of charm does he have…"
"Curious?"
"I am, but I won't bother finding out."
Sloan waved her hand dismissively, as if it were too much trouble. Had Elisa expected that reaction? She smirked and wrapped her arm tighter around my waist.
The ominous feeling swelled even larger. I snuck a glance at Camilla's eyes — and in those signature violet irises of hers, flames were burning. Under that blazing gaze… I couldn't bring myself to say another word.
"Everyone got that? From now on, Vali and I are a couple. An exclusive one…. So. I'd prefer if you didn't do anything weird."
"Weird?"
"For example. Playing dirty little pranks on Vali. Things like that? I haven't seen anyone do it yet, but if it happens in front of me, I don't think I could forgive it."
Grrrind — something grated in Camilla's jaw. A rather savage sound. To make a noise that terrifying with a completely blank expression…
"I-I-Is that so…. Aah— so Vali belongs to Elisa nooow…."
"Lylie?"
"Th-then, congratulations. Yes!"
For reasons I couldn't place, the Saintess standing beside me — Lylie — rolled her eyes this way and that. She looked thoroughly unsettled.