Starting 'Cause the Hero Party Pisses Me Off
"So another one went down…."
Vallitics, the weakest of the Demon Kings, let out a long, heavy sigh from atop his throne. Word had just reached him that yet another of his kin had fallen.
"That's eleven already. This is getting seriously bad…. At this rate, aren't they going to come for me next?"
The creatures known as humanity's natural enemy — the monsters.
And standing at the apex of those monsters, the seventy-two Demon Kings.
…Among them, the weakest of all, the Demon King of the 72nd Seat, Vallitics wrapped his small frame in his arms and trembled.
"Seriously, why is this generation's Hero Party so ridiculously strong?!"
Heroes were beings born to slay Demon Kings — and yet, they had always failed.
Human bodies were frail, while monsters were powerful. No matter how blessed by the gods a hero might be, they were helpless before the endless tide of armies that came pouring in.
Vallitics had lived in relative peace. He was the weakest Demon King, yes, but still strong enough to handle a hero when one showed up. That was how he had managed to keep his head attached all this time.
But this generation's hero….
"The 71st Seat, Lord Sarath; the 54th Seat, Lord Gar; and the 65th Seat, Lord Lorind, have all fallen in battle."
"I know! Every time one of my kin dies, I hear the screaming inside my head! Aah! That wailing! That window! That face!"
They were strong — far too strong. Less than a month after setting out on their adventure, they had already butchered a Demon King. One of his kin whose specialty had been the sword, cut down while charging at full speed and clearing everything in their path.
It was a truly horrific state of affairs. How many had died in a mere four years?
"According to the reports, this hero has received an extraordinary measure of the Goddess's protection. It seems the other side has been preparing thoroughly as well. Well — after five hundred years of losing, I suppose they would."
"Those absolute pests! They held out that long?"
His adjutant made no effort to hide his disdain as he watched his lord tremble, and pressed on.
"Hundreds of years have already passed, and yet Your Majesty has made no progress whatsoever in invading the human realm. Do you intend to remain satisfied with this tiny scrap of land forever?"
"W-what's wrong with this place?! The wine's excellent! And you know I hate fighting!"
"Which is precisely why you're about to die."
"Hey! Don't say awful things like that!"
It was agony. The truth was, Vallitics had never wanted to invade anyone. His kin had stirred everyone up about marching toward lands rich in resources, and he had simply gone along with it because he had no choice.
He never should have. While those idiots were drunk on their own power, humanity had been carefully honing the blade of their counterattack. Now the monsters had nothing left to do but wait to be slaughtered.
"What will you do, then? Surrender, perhaps? Ah — though I wouldn't recommend it. The current hero is a woman."
"…What are you talking about? Isn't the rule that only men get chosen as heroes?"
"No. For several decades now, the human realm has been a matriarchal society. Perhaps because so many people died."
"Is that sooo?"
"Your Majesty?"
In that instant, a brilliant idea flashed through Vallitics's little head.
"Hey, so… I'm kind of popular with women, aren't I?"
"If you're going to say that about yourself…. Well, it isn't wrong. Compared to the others, you do look remarkably harmless."
"Right? Honestly, if you ignore the horns, I look basically human."
Which was exactly why his own kin had treated him with such contempt.
"So what if I hide the horns… and infiltrate the Hero Party?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"They say if you want to hide a tree, hide it in a forest!"
"I believe that metaphor is somewhat off. Well…. You certainly wouldn't die that way. However."
The adjutant heaved a deep sigh.
"Do you intend to cast aside your pride as a Demon King? You are still a king of monsters, no matter how you look at it…. Will you truly beg for your life?"
His body was certainly well-suited to eliciting sympathy — but that didn't mean those Demon King butchers would actually spare him.
"That's not it! I'm going to join the Hero Party as a spy. Completely tear them apart from the inside. No matter how strong they are, if someone sticks a knife in their back, they die!"
"Hah."
This was more surprising than expected. The adjutant couldn't help but feel a flicker of admiration for his unexpectedly shrewd lord.
"And! Those bastards who treat me like garbage! I'll kill every last one of them while I'm at it!"
"…What?"
"You said it yourself just now! How long am I going to be satisfied with this tiny little territory?!"
Once all the Demon Kings were dead and the heroes were gone too — he would be the strongest being in the world. He could rule the entire human realm.
"Those bastards stirred everyone up and dragged us to this land. It's time they paid the price."
"You mean to turn fate itself against them. I see. Very well, my Demon King…. If that is your will. But — in what guise do you intend to infiltrate?"
"I've already decided that!"
"Oh?"
Vallitics declared it with absolute confidence.
"I'll join as the role that's most useful to the party!"
Watching his lord gather up a dagger with fumbling hands as he said this, the adjutant could only let out another long sigh.
It was early morning. Just as the sun was beginning to rise, the alarm bell suddenly began to clang — ding-ding-ding-ding—
"Monsters! Monsters have appeared!"
At the sound of the watchman's bell, the entire village dissolved into chaos in an instant.
"Monsters? I thought there wasn't even a trace of them!"
"That doesn't matter right now. Gather the militia, hurry!"
The local thugs who loafed around town, the farmers who had spent the day tilling fields with pitchforks and then collapsed into sleep, even the drunks who had been drinking beer until they could barely stand —
Every woman who could handle herself was summoned without exception, weapons in hand, ready to meet the attack.
"I-I want to go too…."
"You can't, Uncle Kyle. You're a man."
"What? Back in my day I served as a soldier under Count Ardes!"
"That was thirty years ago! You're not that man anymore…."
A few of the men, still clinging to the glory of their younger days, tried to take up arms — and were immediately stopped. They no longer had the strength for it.
The young people of the village, gathered around the new generation, soon found themselves face-to-face with the monsters breaking through the outer wall.
"What the hell — those wolves are huge!"
The wolves exposed to a Demon King's power — Hell Beasts — stood roughly one and a half times the size of an ordinary wolf, and long and short tentacles sprouted from various points along their bodies.
"Stay calm! If we hold formation like this, they can't charge us—"
"Huh? Wait— they're coming!"
—Moreover, a Hell Beast's standing leap easily exceeded six meters, thanks to leg muscles specifically evolved to shatter human formations.
"AAAAAAAGH!"
"I-it hurts—!"
"Keep it together! If we hold out, the lord will bring the army!"
"Stop talking shit! You think that bitch is going to come all the way out to a backwater like this?!"
The Hell Beasts tore straight through the ragtag militia's formation. The villagers had cobbled together armor from monster hides, but it was useless against fangs and claws.
"Someone— someone help us…."
Just when it seemed the militia would be wiped out completely—
"Elisa!"
Fwoosh! An arrow split the air. The Hell Beast that had been enjoying its feast, maw smeared with gore and scraps of entrails, had its throat punched clean through.
"Wha—?"
"Good. We've got their attention!"
"This is not the time to celebrate! They're coming this way!"
Monsters instinctively sought out the strong. Every time they killed a powerful creature, they could absorb its strength and intelligence.
Having witnessed a single arrow pierce one of their own through the neck, the Hell Beasts abandoned the corpses of the weak humans and charged the four figures who had suddenly appeared.
"Here they come!"
"Spirits of the wind! Come to me!"
Whoooooosh— A violent gale howled across the clear sky. Sensing danger by pure instinct, the Hell Beasts tried to pull back — but it was already too late. A sound rang out exactly like paper being sliced by a razor-sharp blade. Only a few seconds later came the wet slap of entrails spilling onto the ground.
"Nice."
The Hell Beasts were shredded to pieces by the silent blades of wind. Their ferocious advance was halted with almost absurd ease.
"Is that a mage…?"
"That's impossible. Taking down Hell Beasts that can drag off cattle that easily?!"
And they hadn't even properly started yet. The moment the wind died, a volley of arrows flew as one — and punched through the throats of three Hell Beasts still lingering at the edges.
"My turn."
The woman in the red cloak, gripping a longsword with a blade absurdly wide, swung her arm — and in an instant, every monster that had invaded the village was annihilated.
"W-who on earth are you people…."
"Questions later! We'll hear you out once the work is done."
"Huh? But you've already killed all the monsters."
"No."
KRAAAAAASH—! The village fence wall exploded into splinters that rained down in a clattering shower.
[Grrrrr….]
For a moment, the villagers thought a massive boulder had come flying at them. It was an easy mistake to make — the thing beyond the dust was black from head to toe.
But it was a boar. One whose body length easily exceeded ten-odd meters….
Its weight must have been dozens of tons as well. Every step it took shoved the air aside. Its breathing rolled out like a gale — and then it charged straight at Sloan with everything it had.
"Doesn't look like it only ate one or two people."
"It probably practiced cannibalism. Ate its own kind to bulk up its power."
It was rare, but when food ran short, monsters would devour each other to grow larger.
Feeding on their own kind made their power evolve even faster — and their intelligence rose with it.
"That thing was waiting for us to tire out."
"No. It was waiting for the Hell Beasts to get wiped out. Didn't want to share with its own kind. Greedy little bastard. Is that because it's a pig?"
Whether it understood those words or not, the giant boar exhaled a disgusting blast of breath and charged.
The force of that rush was terrifying. The sheer weight of its bulk triggered a minor earthquake; several villagers toppled over on the spot.
"Whoa…. Huh?"
KRAAAAAA—! But before it could even fully unleash that charging power, the giant boar lost its balance and pitched forward. It drove its head into the dirt, and whether from a serious wound or something else, its body began to thrash wildly.
"What, did it trip on a rock while running?"
"No — look closer. Its left ankle's been severed. Clean cut, too. Camilla. Was that you?"
At that, the mage Camilla looked mildly flustered.
"I can't cut with that kind of precision yet. Crushing, sure — but not that. Shame, though. It looked like it would've been a fun opponent."
"There's no one else here who could do that. If I hit it, it'd just explode."
"Look over there."
The first to notice was the archer, Elisa. She had spotted a small-framed man climbing up onto the boar's body.
"Hup."
Holding a sharp blade, he drove the keen steel deep into the soft spot between the boar's neck and shoulder.
"Gueh…!"
That was the end of it. The giant boar thrashed once — then went stiff as a board.
"Oh, nice work. You knew exactly where to stab for an instant kill. And you've got enough strength to punch through hide that thick."
"How did he drive it in with those skinny arms?"
"Beats me. Technique, maybe? Wouldn't you say so, mister!"
"El? Did you just say a man?!"
The Demon King — Vallitics — casually wiped the filth from his face and smiled at her words.
At last. They had met.